L.O.V.E.

by Krissy Daniels

  I looked over my shoulder. “Of course, I will.”

  “Good. You’re his favorite niece. It’d break his heart if you couldn’t come.”

  “I’m his only niece,” I shouted, closing the door before they could continue.

  “Oh, Nat Brat.” Lacey threw her arms around me. “I’m so happy you came.”

  “I made it.”

  “Hey, Beautiful.” Ellis strolled out of the kitchen and planted a kiss on my head.

  “Merry Christmas.” I handed Lacey the pies, then snatched the baby out of Ellis’s arms and slapped my keys in his palm.

  “Presents are in the trunk. Do you mind?”

  His deep chuckle was intoxicating. “Of course.” He gave Lacey’s ass a squeeze before jogging out the door.

  I sighed, their affection swoon-worthy, then settled onto the sofa for cuddle time. The large Craftsman style home looked like a horde of drunk elves had thrown a rave. Every wall, window, and shelf was adorned with twinkling lights, garland, and Christmas cheer. Atop the tree sat an angel dressed in white. Lacey’s prized possession, passed down from her grandmother, to her mother, and then to Lacey.

  “It smells like cinnamon rolls in here.”

  “Been baking all day.” Lacey fell into the cushion next to me and brushed soft strokes over Leon’s head. “Dinner’s almost ready. Ellis’s parents will be here in a bit.”

  “He’s perfect,” I said, staring at the gorgeous baby. “Absolute perfection.”

  “I know.” She swiped a tear from my cheek. “How are you doing? We’ve hardly talked since Thanksgiving.”

  “Been busy. My boss handed me the lead on two major accounts.”

  “That’s great, but you know I don’t want to hear about work. What’s up with the men in that town? I heard Idaho breeds some of the prettiest people in the Northwest.”

  “It’s true.” I winked. “Must be all the fresh air.”

  The baby smiled up at me and, oh, sweet Lord, my heart. “You keep that up, little lady-killer, I might marry the next man I see just so I can make babies of my own.”

  Lacey laughed. Leon cooed.

  “So? No mountain men banging down your door?”

  “Absolutely no banging whatsoever.” I refrained from mentioning all the dates I’d turned down. That was between me and my broken heart.

  “I don’t believe you for a second.” Lacey leaned closer, gripped my wrist. “Is it Cole? Is that why you’re not dating?”

  Scary how well she knew me.

  “Just been busy, Lulu,” I sighed. “Trying to rule the world.”

  Wise, brown eyes searched mine, unconvinced. “What about that boss of yours?”

  “He’s remained strictly professional. Though I have caught him staring at me on more than one occasion.” And he had a killer dimple, I left unsaid. Every damn time he grinned, I was reminded of Cole. “Not that it matters. I would never date someone I work with, especially a supervisor.”

  The door swung open, the bang echoing through their massive home. Ellis stumbled in under a mountain of shopping bags overstuffed with pretty packages.

  “Oh, honey.” Lacey pushed from the couch, laughing. “Let me help.”

  “We got it, sweetheart.” He nodded over his shoulder. “Look who came home early.”

  Behind Ellis came another tumbling display of bright presents donned with ribbons and bows. A stuffed bear fell out of one bag, and a denim clad leg lifted to catch the toy on the top of his booted foot. He balanced. Hobbled. Caught his balance again.

  “Cole!” Lacey ran to the rescue and snatched the toy, then one bag from his arms before rising on her toes to kiss his cheek.

  My skin prickled, and I lifted the baby to my shoulder, certain the chubby little angel could shield me from such cruel beauty.

  Cole stood, arms full, face red from the cold, taller and broader than when I’d seen him last. He smirked at something Ellis said and scanned the room, his mirth faltering when he spotted me on the sofa.

  “Natalie.” His gaze softened, a slow melt like brown sugar stirred into warm butter, sweet and decadent, and making my mouth water.

  “Hey,” I managed, though casual seemed an insult. He’d been inside me. He’d held my heart in his fist and squeezed the bloody thing dry before I’d snatched it back. Yet, when he looked at me that way, there wasn’t a thing in the world I wouldn’t lay at his feet, my battered heart included.

  What a dangerous predicament. The man only lost his wife a few months ago. His emotions couldn’t be trusted any more than mine.

  Ellis dropped his load of bags by the Christmas tree, then relieved Cole of his bundles.

  “I thought you weren’t coming home until after New Year’s,” Lacey said, pushing Cole to the left so she could close the door.

  He grunted a response that I couldn’t make out, and Lacey’s eyes widened. She shot me a glance, then shared a conspiratorial, wordless communication with Ellis.

  Cole hadn’t stopped staring, our gazes locked in a painful, yet necessary, exchange. Certain that everyone could hear the thump, thump, thump in my chest, and afraid of giving away my unstable state of emotions, I blurted, “I think the little guy needs a new diaper,” and made a mad dash for the nursery.

  Leon’s diaper wasn’t soiled, but I changed him anyway, stalling. Searching for my backbone. Cole was downstairs.

  Cole had trimmed his hair and shaved, and the dark ghosts no longer haunted his eyes.

  Cole still had the power to break me.

  My godson started to cry. I swaddled him and moved to the window. Lacey’s view was almost as nice as mine. Where she had the city skyline in the distance, my condo boasted a view of Lake Willow and the surrounding mountains.

  Leon fussed, so I bounced and hummed while watching the rain fall from dark clouds, and soon the little angel was sound asleep, his weight heavy and fulfilling in my arms.

  The door opened and closed behind me. No need to look. Soul deep, I recognized his aura, my body buzzing, coming alive.

  “Merry Christmas, Natalie.” Cold fingers brushed the hair from my neck. Warm lips grazed the sensitive spot below my ear, melting me skin to bone, leaving me warm and gooey, and wanting.

  “Cole,” left my lips on a soft plea when I should’ve moved away or told him not to touch me that way. He had no right, yet nothing had ever felt so damn right.

  He moved around me and stole the infant from my arms, his dimples popping as he took a good look at the boy, and oh, God, my legs turned to wet noodles at the sight. He cradled Leon like he was the most precious gift. When he kissed the little button nose, I almost fainted, the rush of hormones maddening and flooding my body with heat.

  Before the moment passed, I slipped my phone out of my bra and snapped a pic.

  “What’s with you and the pictures?” he asked, his focus still on Leon. “You don’t post on social media. I checked.”

  Tucking my cell away, I admitted, “I take one a day of something that makes me happy.”

  His broad shoulders stretched under his black sweater as he laid the baby in the crib, drawing my attention to his slim waist and round, tight ass.

  Was there anything more appealing than a man caring for a child?

  Dimples. Dimples were better, especially the two aimed my way. Cole turned on the baby monitor, grabbed my hand, and pulled me into the hallway. The second the door closed, Cole spun me until my back was to the wall. He captured my face in both palms, and his tongue darted out to wet his lips before he hit me with a toe-curling kiss.

  There was not one single moment when I hesitated, or questioned, or recoiled. When we were joined, there wasn’t room for wariness, there was just us, heart and soul, the rest of the world a canvas for us to paint our future.

  Cole pulled away, panting, and adjusted his crotch. I was thankful for the solid wall to hold me steady.

  The doorbell rang. Guests were arriving.

  “I missed you,” he rasped, devouring me with a heated gaze.r />
  “Me, too,” I whispered.

  “Stay with me tonight.”

  “I can’t,” I said, though my words held no conviction.

  “Why?” The bastard smirked. He knew he had me.

  So many reasons. I hadn’t shaved. My Jockey undergarments were made for comfort, not sexy time. I hadn’t found a gym since moving to Whisper Springs, and I’d had a torrid affair with the buffalo burgers at my favorite diner. Cole wouldn’t care what I wore. The ten pounds I’d gained wouldn’t matter. But having him and leaving him again would destroy me. I could have given him any excuse. Instead, I whispered, “You know why.”

  To which he responded, “Only thing I know is that the world feels right when you’re with me.”

  Oh, my heart. I was doomed. “One night,” I conceded, then to shield my battered soul said, “Our last night. We can’t keep doing this.”

  “Yes, we can.”

  “Cole, please. Stop.”

  “Stop what?” He planted his palms on either side of my head, leaning close, brushing his nose over mine. “Stop wanting you? Impossible.” A soft kiss to my cheek. “Stop dreaming about you?” Another kiss, another cheek. “Missing you?” He bit my earlobe, his breaths heavy. “Hearing your voice, seeing your face every night when I close my eyes?” He kissed my neck, my chin, my nose, everywhere but my lips, driving me mad. “Stop feeling ill with regret? ’Cause that will never happen.”

  “There you are.” Ellis stood at the top of the stairs, trying and failing to hide his amusement. “I’m ready to crack open that bottle of Blue. Can’t toast without you guys.”

  “Blue?” I asked, still clinging to the wall, thankful for a change in conversation.

  “Johnnie Walker Blue. A wedding gift from Cole. Been waiting for the right time.” He shrugged. “No better time than now. My best friend is here. Lacey’s best friend is here.” Ellis came between us, hooked a beefy arm around each of our shoulders and guided us back down to the party.

  We toasted. We ate a delicious dinner and too much dessert. We said our goodnights hours later, and I followed Cole home.

  Cole’s small apartment was dark, the streetlight outside offering enough of a warm glow to navigate the sparsely furnished room.

  He tossed his keys onto a small table near the door and shrugged out of his coat before helping me out of mine.

  I moved deeper inside his home, made my way to the large window. Traffic was light on the street below, but I could feel the rumble, hear the buzz. “I miss the city noise sometimes.”

  When he said nothing, I turned to find him standing across the room, hands in his pockets, head tilted in contemplation.

  He dropped his gaze to the floor, kicked at something on the hardwood. “Why didn’t you return my calls or texts?”

  There was no room for lies. “It’s too easy to loose myself in you, Cole. I can’t afford to do that right now.”

  Chin down, he raised his gaze. “I can find a million things wrong with that statement.”

  “And I was embarrassed by the way I left on Thanksgiving.”

  “You did the right thing.” He raked both hands through his hair, then clasped his fingers behind his head. “I wasn’t in a good place.”

  “I heard Everly’s name, and I panicked. All those horrible memories came rushing back, and I…” God, I’d used Victoria’s mother as an excuse to bolt. Truth was, I’d been terrified. Of my feelings. Of feeling more. Worried that I’d made the wrong decision to move away. Scared that moving away had been the right choice and maybe Mom was right, that I had a soulmate named Caleb out in the world somewhere, waiting for me, and that Cole, and all the vast, ridiculous feels I had for him, were just a chapter in my life, a stepping stone, a soon-to-be fond memory.

  What a terrifying thought. I wanted to voice my concerns, but the words wouldn’t form.

  With a huff, he dropped his arms and stepped closer. “Tell me there’s still hope for us. That we can be something other than nothing.”

  He should’ve been my everything.

  I had no answer. None that would change our immediate circumstances.

  Cole nodded as if he understood my silence. “Well, then. We better not waste this night.” One deep breath. Three long strides. Two strong hands tilted my face to meet his mouth in a crushing kiss that broke too soon.

  He knelt, and one by one, helped me out of my boots.

  While still on the floor, he gripped my thighs, and with heavy breaths, slid his hands under my dress to the top of my tights, then rolled them down. My panties came next while I stood shivering under his touch.

  He raised my hem higher, laid kisses on my belly, my hips, and then between my legs, where I needed his kiss the most.

  Deft fingers. Talented tongue. Ravenous lips. I fisted his hair and held tight, his moans erotic, his ministrations devout, my pleasure swirling, swelling, consuming. When he nipped my clit, my knees buckled.

  Cole laughed, easing the tension, then rose, hoisting me over his shoulder, my bare ass in the air. Before I caught my breath, he tossed me onto the bed.

  Before I could ditch my dress, he was over me, then inside me, his clothes still on.

  I didn’t care.

  Frantic worked.

  Heavy breathing. Hard pounding. Teeth clashing. Dirty declarations. We were desperate; we were crazed. We worked. My orgasm was fast and furious, but that didn’t matter because before the tremors subsided, Cole was stripping off his clothes and then my dress.

  With maddening leisure, he tasted every inch of my skin. I touched him everywhere I could reach, trembling and panting and coiling tight. Cole was on my skin and in my lungs, the drum in every heartbeat, and I wanted more, more, more… Oh, God.

  I wanted not to crave him. I wanted not to love him. Not to ache so desperately for his smile. I wanted to fuck him out of my system. Slow and steady was for long-time lovers. We were part-time fuck buddies at best.

  I pushed Cole and ordered him to lie on his back.

  His skin was hot, his face flushed, his lips swollen, and I claimed that sinful mouth while I mounted him, and then bit his lip as I sank down over his thick erection.

  Oh fuck, the way he filled me. Too much. Never enough. I rolled my hips, clawed his chest. I rose and fell, kissed and bit and ground against him. Cole tried to ease my pace. Fuck slow. Slow allowed room for emotions.

  Selfishly, I rode the man. When I came again and collapsed onto his chest, he held me, stroked my back, kissed my head, rolled me over.

  Cole then broke my heart, making love to me, taking me tender and slow.

  He kissed my tears away. He brought me to the peak again, that time coming with me, and we lay tangled, talking and laughing and pretending tomorrow would not bring another goodbye.

  “Spend a few days with me,” he whispered, stroking my thigh.

  “No,” came my knee-jerk response. “We can’t keep doing this.”

  His lips landed on my forehead, warming my soul. “We can do whatever we want, sunshine.”

  I couldn’t respond. Leaving hurt too much.

  “We’re supposed to be together. Haven’t you figured that out by now?” He pulled me closer. “It’s fate,” he mumbled, voice sleepy.

  I was beginning to hate that word. “Fate is bullshit,” I whispered into the dark.

  He chuckled, his chest vibrating.

  A wave of anger crashed over me. “It’s not funny, Cole.” I rolled to face him. “It’s bullshit. All of it. If fate was on our side, we would’ve met before her. If fate was on our side, I wouldn’t live in another state. I wouldn’t get to touch you only once every couple of months. Don’t you get it? All the shit that’s happened since we met? Fate is cruel, vindictive. She’s punishing us for what we did.”

  With a curse, he was over me, his hips between my thighs. He cupped my face with trembling fingers. “What did we do, Natalie? Tell me, what did we do but try to fight this thing between us?”

  “I wanted you when it was wrong.
” Guilt spilled down my cheeks, wetting his fingers.

  “We fought it. You moved away. I married the monster. We did the right thing. We fought. So what does fate have to punish us for?”

  I shook my head. Against his reason. Against the emotion. Against the unbearable, biting pain in my chest.

  Cole rose from the bed and headed to the bathroom. I rolled over, contemplating an escape. On his nightstand sat a short crystal vase stuffed with red peonies. Heart meet steamroller.

  Footsteps. The mattress sank behind me.

  I couldn’t hide the tremble in my voice when I asked, “Why do you have peonies?”

  With one strong arm, he pulled me flush against his body. “You know why.”

  I didn’t. Nothing made sense. “I don’t understand.”

  “They’re your favorite. And they bring life to this dull home.”

  My favorite. How did he know? Wiggling free of his heavy arm, I flipped to face him again. “You have to order them weeks in advance this time of year.”

  Oh, sweet Jesus, his dimples close up were mind numbing. “I have a standing order.”

  What man did such things? “Since when?”

  He traced the curve of my hip with his fingers, glanced at the flowers, then back to me. “Since Leon’s Baptism.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I thought I’d never see the sun again, but there you stood, bright and feminine as a goddamn peony. My fucking sunshine.” He laughed, licked his lips, then his smile disappeared. “They remind me to breathe when my chest gets too heavy. Help me remember the sun is still shining when I’m lost in the dark.”

  I stared at his lips, his gaze too potent, his confession breaking me in two.

  Forehead to mine, he begged, “Please, stay until morning. I’ll make you breakfast. We’ll talk.”

  No hung on the tip of my tongue.

  I hadn’t the will to deny him, lacked the strength to say goodbye again.

  I snuggled into his naked warmth.

  When his body softened, melting into the mattress, I kissed his cheek and slipped out of bed. Before leaving, I dug the small wrapped box out of my handbag and placed it next to the vase on his nightstand.