Through the Mist: Restoration

by C. Renee Freeman

  The tutor flipped through the brittle pages until he came to the story about the shield. “She said it looked like one that hung in an inn where she stayed before she came here,” Daniel explained. “I doubted the Campbells would relinquish such a treasure but said nothing. She seemed agitated to learn its history. I do not know why.”

  Benjamin read the story and found nothing remarkable about it. Had he not heard many stories about mystical things and places during his childhood? Intrigued, he returned to the page with a drawing of the object in question.

  “She seemed alarmed when your son Angus told her about the shield in your room,” Daniel mentioned. He closed the book. “Perhaps I am overly sensitive. Not everyone has grown up hearing stories of Celtic mythology.”

  “I am sure you are right,” Benjamin said distractedly. “I thank you for sharing the information nonetheless.”

  The tutor bowed slightly and scurried from the room without further comment. Benjamin chuckled. He suspected Daniel wanted to see Sarah before she retired for the evening. It had not escaped his notice that the shy maid and new tutor were fond of each other.

  Returning his attention to the book, he opened it and easily found the story. He examined the drawing. He could see the resemblance to the shield that hung above the fireplace in his bedchamber. He shook his head. The ancestor who wrote the story probably invented it to create an interesting history for the object. It was likely the work of someone’s overactive imagination.

  He set aside the book and stared at the pile of letters on his desk. He knew he should attend to some matters of business before he visited Tilly. Of course, now that her name had crossed his mind, he could think of nothing else. He struggled to focus his attention to the task at hand as he flicked through each document.

  When he happened upon his father’s letter, all thoughts of pleasure quickly left. He stared at the rigid handwriting and could feel himself tense involuntarily. Even though the man was not standing before Benjamin in the flesh, he had a powerful effect.

  He flipped over the letter and was about to break the wax when he noticed something odd. His father always pressed the distinctive Campbell seal into the wax. As he examined the red wax, he noticed that the impression was blurred. The wax barely held the pages together. Looking closer, he saw the parchment’s edges were singed near the seal.

  “Murphy!” he bellowed. He came around the desk in three quick strides and flung open the door. “Murphy!”

  The flustered butler scurried down the hallway. “Milord, is something amiss?” he asked.

  “Aye, something is amiss,” Benjamin replied. He waved the letter in front of the man. “What can you tell me about this letter? It is from my father.”

  “It arrived this morning. A maid told me Mrs. Munro helped her with names, for the maid cannot read.”

  “A servant’s literacy is not my concern at the moment,” Benjamin growled. “Did the maid give the letter to you?”

  “No, milord. Mrs. Munro took the letter from the maid and said she would give it to you.” The butler cleared his throat. “Given recent events, I saw nothing inappropriate about allowing her that liberty. Was I incorrect?”

  Benjamin shook his head. “Thank you, Mr. Murphy,” he said. “I do not require further assistance.” He turned and walked into the study, slowly closing the door behind him. Did Tilly open the letter?

  He sank into a chair beside the fireplace. Why would she want to read a letter from his father? With ease, he cracked the seal and read the contents. Groaning aloud, he crumbled the parchment and dropped his head into his hands. If she had read the letter, then what must she think of him?

  ∞

  Benjamin found her sitting beside the fireplace in her receiving room. He could tell that she had been crying.

  “Tilly, are you unwell this evening?” he asked benignly.

  If looks could kill, then he would have been struck dead on the spot. The piercing glare she shot his way immediately told him that she had indeed read the letter. “Please allow me to explain…“ he began, racing to her side.

  “We never should have slept together,” she said hotly. “It has led to nothing but ruin for us both.”

  He fell to his knees in front of her. “Please do not speak of such things,” he pleaded. “Finding you has been a great blessing to my family and me.”

  When he placed his hand upon her knee, she angrily flung it away. “Don’t pretend that I mean something to you!” she exclaimed angrily. “I read your father’s letter. I am nothing to you. The sooner I leave, the better. Then, you can get a real governess to teach your children.”

  She pushed out of the chair and moved away from his reach. “Who is this fine prospect you have found?” she asked. “Does my presence interfere with your ability to court her?”

  He dropped his head and closed his eyes. Lord, give me strength, he thought but dared not speak aloud.

  He stood in front of her and forced her to look him in the eyes. “If I thought of you only as a servant, you would not be enjoying the comforts of our guest quarters,” he said practically. “You would be amongst the other servants. You would not be treated as favorably as you are. And, you most certainly would not share my bed.”

  He watched her face flush red with anger. “Please do not take offense, Tilly,” he said. “I merely wish to illustrate to you that I hold you in the highest regard. I do not view you as a servant in my household. You have a place of honor in my heart.”

  She remained silent so he seized upon the opportunity to plead his case. “I swear upon on the lives of my children that there is no other woman except you,” he pledged. “I told my father those things because he threatened to come here. Of all people, you know how devastating his interference would be.”

  It broke his heart to see her eyes fill with tears. “Yes, I do,” she said. “Benjamin, you cannot be with someone like me. Your father will eventually find out. What will you do? Will you risk everything for me?”

  He stared at her. He knew a thousand things that he should say but could not bring himself to speak the words. He wanted to scream that he would move heaven and earth to be with her. He hesitated. She spoke the truth. If he pursued a relationship with her, his father could not travel fast enough to Scotland. The man would be furious.

  His inner turmoil must have registered upon his face. She smiled grimly as if she understood what he was thinking. Shaking her head, she eased past him and opened the door to the adjoining room. She softly closed it behind her.

  He did not follow.

  ∞

  Benjamin could not sleep. His conversation with Tilly tore a hole in his heart. Why had he hesitated in telling her the feelings that reached the depth of his soul? He knew only the most sincere professions of love and fidelity would win her heart, but he was unable to utter the words. He could not fathom a life worth living if Tilly was not in it. Was he prepared to gamble the estate and its people on love? Would he risk everything to be with her? And, lest he forget her mysterious background. Could he take her hand in marriage without any hope of knowing from whence she came? Could he accept her and love her without that knowledge? He was stuck between the proverbial rock and a hard place.

  He sipped a glass of whisky as he sat in a chair beside the fireplace of his bedchamber. Idly, he glanced up at the shield hanging above the mantel. Studying the object, he mentally compared it to the one from the drawing in the old book about his family’s history. There were a great many relics strewn about the castle. It could be another ordinary souvenir from a battle long ago. In fact, the whole story could be the fancy of an ancestor who wanted to add a bit of color to the family history.

  He was intrigued about the location of the battle, the valley known as Gleann A’bunadh. It was the same valley where Tilly came into his life and changed it forever.

  He vividly recalled that fateful night. He chose the campsite because of its proximity to the small stream running through the valley. He promised Iain tha
t he would not venture far. He needed time alone. Mrs. Donnelly’s naked offer pushed him past the breaking point. If he spent another moment in the castle, he would go mad.

  He had listened to the birds singing in the trees and heard the soft trickle of water from the stream. He had closed his eyes, relishing the solitude. He must have sat that way for hours before he noticed night had fallen. The moon was full, painting the forest in a pale silvery light. As a cold mist rose from the forest floor, he built a small fire to chase away the chill. He did not try to stop the tears when they began to flow.

  He had not allowed himself to cry since Mary died. The loss he felt was almost crippling. His family needed him to be strong. In the stillness of the forest, he let his grief take over. He cried for her, for the life they would never have. She would never see wee Maggie grow into a woman or share in the daily adventure of Stephen’s rowdy childhood. She would not watch the boys become men. Her passing was a great tragedy and waste of a precious life.

  Then, Tilly appeared like an apparition in the mist. He really believed his mind had lost all grasp of reality. He did not care. He greatly enjoyed the escape from the gut-wrenching pain.

  Jolting him from his revelry, a log broke free and tumbled toward the edge of the hearth. It sent a spray of red embers onto the rug. He quickly stomped them before the rug was burnt. It was an abrupt return to the present.

  He shook his head. He admitted that he remained unsure if her tale was true. Could someone travel through time? Of course, he could not determine any other possible explanation. She was not an agent sent by the MacDonalds for she would not have killed their leader. He did not see any mark upon her head that would indicate severe injury, so he doubted her story came from severe physical trauma. And, he could not picture his father picking her as a spy. She was completely guileless.

  He turned his gaze to the shield. Was it really a mystical object? Tilly thought a similar shield hung in her chambers…in her time. Could it have guided her to him?

  Benjamin had not bothered to draw the curtains. When a sliver of moonlight danced across the surface of the shield, he thought he saw the figure of a fish etched into the metal. He moved closer to the mantel, carefully examining the surface. As quickly as it appeared, the symbol vanished. He questioned if his eyes deceived him.

  He sat in the chair in front of the fireplace and stared at the shield until the first pink beams of light broke across the horizon. He had waited all night for the symbol to reappear. It never did.

  Forty Four

  Tilly stared into the looking glass while Sarah fixed her hair. She noticed the dark circles under her eyes had deepened after another sleepless night. With amusement, she observed her exhausted countenance on this day resembled her 21st century look.

  She spent the entire night debating about what to do. She had half-heartedly searched for a way home in the last few months. During one of her daily hikes around the grounds, she found what she suspected was the trail from the castle to the valley. She did nothing upon making the discovery, though. She had no indication that the spot held a clue to her return. Besides, wasn’t she happy? Didn’t she enjoy being with Benjamin and his family?

  As outrageous as it was, she found herself enjoying each new day. She had the opportunity to be with children once again. She loved teaching them, even though they were sometimes a handful. And, if she was honest, she fell in love with their father.

  Her relationship with him felt natural. She never struggled to like Benjamin. His manner was easygoing with her, even though she knew he carried great responsibility on his shoulders. He made her laugh. He made her forget when she was. With her late husband, it was never this easy. They constantly fought to be together, until she no longer wanted to fight.

  In the end, she had been unable to decide her next move. It was the same dilemma she faced in her own time. She seemed frozen in place by indecision. Then, the tragic encounter happened with Richard MacDonald. Afterward, all thoughts of wandering alone in the forest disappeared. She no longer felt the need. Her relationship with Benjamin seemed to be closer than ever.

  Now, everything had changed. The letter from his father cast doubt on the depth of Benjamin’s feelings. She knew her presence could ruin everything, even if he really did care for her.

  Sighing, she remembered the shiny symbols on the shield. It could be the link between the two times. Could the shield offer her a passage home?

  “Milady, you are in poor spirits today,” Sarah said, interrupting her thoughts. “Are you well?”

  “I am in good health, Sarah,” she replied, mentally noting how easily she fell into the speech patterns of the 19th century. “I simply have troubles weighing upon my mind. Do not fret.”

  Sarah sighed. “I understand, milady,” she said. She looked very serious. “May I speak in confidence with you?”

  Tilly rose from her seat. “Let us sit in front of the fire, Sarah.” She moved toward the fireplace in the dressing room and motioned for Sarah to take a seat. Smiling, she was pleased that the young maid had finally learned to relax in her presence and immediately took the offered seat without objection.

  “Daniel has proposed marriage,” Sarah announced.

  Wow, that was fast, Tilly thought. “Do you want to marry him?” she asked.

  “Oh, yes, milady. Very, very much,” Sarah said, blushing and grinning broadly.

  “Then, what is the problem?”

  “If I marry, I must leave the service.”

  “Why? A woman can work and be married.”

  “Is it that way in America?” Sarah asked, confused. “Can a woman work and have a family there?”

  Tilly silently cursed the slip of tongue. She wanted to reply that it was commonplace – in her time. She knew the lot of women was much different in the 19th century. While Benjamin never made her feel inferior, many women could not make the same claim. Opportunities were very limited for women like Sarah. The prospect of losing a treasured position was very upsetting. “Please forgive me,” she murmured. “I sometimes forget that life is different here.”

  “What should I do, milady?” Sarah asked in desperation.

  She stared at Sarah for some time before finally answering. “We all make sacrifices for love,” she said. “You must ask yourself if marriage to him is worth losing a position as a lady’s maid.”

  She could not bear the heartbroken expression on the maid’s face. “I do not know how long I shall be here, but please know this. As long as you are my maid, you can have your position. It matters not to me if you are wed or unwed.” She held up her hand when she saw the jubilant look on Sarah’s face. “Now, I cannot make a promise for what happens if you are not my maid. I can only speak for your current situation.”

  Sarah dared to squeeze Tilly’s hand. “I understand, milady, and thank you very much!” Her mind at greater ease, she rose from her seat. “Today is Sunday. Does milady plan to attend services with the family?”

  “No, I would like to go for a ride,” she replied.

  Nodding, Sarah found the makeshift riding outfit they had assembled. It was nothing smart or fashionable, just another black dress similar in design to the others in her wardrobe. She only wore it when she rode, though, limiting the horse stench to one dress. Sighing, Tilly slipped into the garment and lamented the lack of modern washing machines.

  Once Tilly was properly dressed, she dismissed Sarah who seemed eager to leave. The maid probably wanted to share the good news with Daniel and accept his marriage proposal. Tilly did not have the heart to tell her that her position as a lady’s maid would soon end, if the shield worked its dubious magic.

  No sense spoiling another person’s happiness, she thought as she made her way down the stairs.

  ∞

  Tilly found Iain waiting for her at the stable. He had already saddled the horses and was astride a handsome black stead. She nodded to him as the groom helped her mount the kindly mare who had become her ride of choice.

 
They made their way toward the valley in silence. She was glad Iain did not question her motive for choosing this unorthodox route. She begrudgingly admitted she was increasingly unsure if her theory was correct. It was madness to believe a silver shield could be a portal between two times. Don’t you usually need a time machine for that? she thought.

  When they finally reached the valley, Iain broke the silence. “We have reached our destination, though I know not why you picked this place,” he said, shifting in the saddle. He stared at her. “You believed you could find answers here. Do you feel enlightened?”

  “At the moment, I do not,” she said, laughing. “Will you help me from my horse?”

  Iain smiled but said nothing. Judging from the amused look on his face, Benjamin had shared tales of her adventures in horseback riding. Well, she hoped her theory was accurate. Then, her days of using horses for transportation would be a distant memory.

  She took a few tentative steps while she tried to bring life back into her shaky legs. She looked up at the hill and saw the familiar monument. It was definitely the right spot. Closing her eyes, she listened carefully. She could only hear the heavy breathing of the horses and low buzz of insects in the grass.

  “You said you owed me a debt that can never be repaid,” she said, opening her eyes and turning to face Iain. “If I asked you for a favor, would you help me?”

  “Yes, milady,” he replied. He offered a very courtly bow. “I am your servant.”

  “The moon will be full tonight, correct?”

  “Yes.”

  “Will you please make sure my horse is saddled and left in her stall tonight?”

  Iain furrowed his brow. “Why?” he asked.

  “The less you know, the better,” she said. “Will you do it?”

  “Should I also place the gold and some provisions in the saddle bags?” he asked. To Tilly’s surprise, he seemed disappointed.

  “No, with any luck, that will not be necessary.”

  “Madam, I do not understand the game that you play,” he said, placing his hands on his hips. “It is not safe to travel without money or food. It is especially unsafe for a woman to travel alone – and at night!”