Chasing a Dream

by Beth Cornelison

  “In the first couple of months, after I moved in with him. He never married me like he said he would and . . .” Her eyes held a distant look, her thoughts clearly lost in painful memories. “Once we were in his house and I was under his control, he showed his true colors. He set out in no uncertain terms how he expected me to behave. I was to obey his every command like a trained dog . . . and perform for him sexually whenever he wanted it. And if I showed any resistance, he . . .”

  When she paused, Justin’s breath stilled. “He what?”

  His throat tightened. The wrenching pain he’d experienced when he learned about Rebecca’s suffering returned in force, bolstered now by the anger and guilt that were the legacy of Rebecca’s death.

  “He hurt me.” Tess glanced up at him with a hollow, haunted expression. “Not brutal beatings like you said your sister’s husband gave her. He slapped me around a little. It was nothing really. Not compared to—”

  “Nothing?” Incredulity and frustration sharpened his tone. “Nothing, Tess? God!”

  He slammed his fist down on the mattress with a bitter curse, and Tess tensed. Turning a pointed gaze on her, he pled his case. “No man has a right to hit a woman. Ever. A slap is not ‘nothing’! Do you hear me?”

  How many times had he argued with Becca over this issue? Why hadn’t she listened to him? His sense of helplessness, battling his sister’s stubborn pride and her blind loyalty to Mac, had nearly killed him. In the end, his failure to take decisive action had killed her.

  Tess’s eyes widened, and she searched his face with a stunned and uncertain expression.

  Drawing a calming breath, he softened his tone. “Do you understand, Tess?”

  She nodded weakly.

  “Okay. Finish what you were saying, please.” Brushing her cheek with his knuckles, he quirked a smile of encouragement.

  As Tess continued in a voice barely above a whisper, she turned away. He recognized the gesture. Rebecca had been ashamed when she talked of her abuse.

  He muttered a nasty epithet under his breath and ached for the opportunity to wrap his hands around Randall’s neck. For Tess’s sake, he tamped down his anger and pulled her into his embrace.

  “You’re safe now, baby. Don’t feel bad about it. He did it. He’s the sick one. Don’t blame yourself.”

  Tess shivered. “He didn’t always hit me, only sometimes when he was really mad. I learned how to appease him, how to avoid his tantrums, but he kept me under his thumb. He made sure I was afraid of him. And I was. I am.”

  “So what happened that finally made you leave him?”

  “I found out how truly evil he is. He’s a powerful man. He has so many people who work for him, who’ll do his bidding because they fear him or because they have no conscience or . . .” Tess ground the heels of her hands into her eyes and released a shuddering sigh. “I found out by accident. I overheard a phone call. He had a man murdered. He made sure it looked like a suicide to cover his tracks. He hired a hit man to kill a business associate. I don’t know why or what Fannin did to upset him, but . . .”

  Justin’s blood went cold. Involuntarily, he tightened his hold on Tess. “He had a man murdered?

  Are you sure?”

  She nodded, and her voice cracked as she began to cry. “He killed Angie, too.” Turning to bury her face in his chest, she sobbed bitterly. “My sister. He killed my sister.”

  “I thought you said her pimp—”

  “Randall ordered her murder. He told me so the night I found out about Fannin. Oh, Justin, I couldn’t stay. I’d lived with him for years but never really knew him . . . never knew how evil . . . I couldn’t stay and live with a murderer.”

  He kissed her forehead. “I understand, babe.” He stroked her hair and rocked her in his arms, a million questions running through his head. “Was Randall one of Angie’s johns?”

  “Apparently.”

  Justin hugged Tess closer. “Why did he have her killed?”

  Tess raised damp, red eyes to him, tears spilling down her cheeks. “I don’t know, exactly. She upset him somehow. She resisted him, defied him. Randall hates to have his authority challenged.”

  “His imagined authority.” Justin tipped Tess’s chin up to make sure she listened. “The guy sounds like a real control freak. But in truth he has no power over anyone. You can’t give him the power, Tess. You have to take control, stand up to him.”

  “And get killed like Angie did?” Stress made her voice shrill. She shook her head. “No, Justin. You can’t fight Randall. He doesn’t allow—”

  “He only has power if you give it to him, Tess.” Justin furrowed his brow and narrowed a gaze of concern on her. “You have to take back the power when he tries to control you.”

  She made a soft scoffing noise and shook her head. “You don’t understand how he is.”

  “What I do understand is that the minute you give up, he’s won.” He ran a loving finger from the hollow of her throat, between her breasts, and tapped a finger over her heart. “Draw on what’s in here. You had the strength to leave him, and I’m betting that’s only a hint of what’s inside you if you look good and hard. He’s held you down long enough. Time to fight back, Tess.”

  She stared into his eyes with an almost awestruck look on her face.

  “Promise me you won’t give up. Will you use that strength that’s inside you and fight back for me, Tess?” Justin searched her eyes for the spark of life he’d seen before, the evidence of the vital, determined woman he knew she was. What he saw warming her hazel gaze went beyond his expectations, and his heart thudded a slow, heavy beat in response. What he saw shining back at him looked a lot like love.

  Regret squeezed his chest. He had never intended for things between them to go so far, but a deep bond had developed. All too soon Tess would see him for the man he really was, a man with nothing more than smoke and mirrors. He could say the right words of encouragement, offer the compassion she craved, even provide her the protection and safety she needed. But that was all he could promise. Beyond that, his track record had proven dismal. If Tess was falling in love with him, she was doomed to have her heart broken. Once again, it seemed, in trying to help, he would hurt someone dear to him.

  ***

  Justin seemed somber. Not that Tess could blame him. If she’d had everything spilled at her feet the way he had this morning, she’d be somber too. She put a hand on his leg. When he glanced at her from the driver’s seat, she gave him a tremulous smile. Scooping her hand in his, he carried it up to his lips for a kiss. “You okay?”

  She nodded. They’d been driving for two hours in almost complete silence. Although she’d grown thoroughly sick of being in the Jimmy, telling Justin about Randall had renewed her fears and the need to keep moving. Justin, it seemed, shared her sense of urgency now, and although it did little to calm her, she felt marginally better knowing he understood the danger she was in.

  The danger he was in.

  Tess sighed at the thought. She’d never wanted to involve Justin in her problems. Yet somehow, because of her inept attempts to leave him, her susceptibility to his charms, and her hunger for the friendship and affection he offered, she’d selfishly allowed him to weave himself into the tapestry of her horrible ordeal.

  At this point, just one day of driving away from Nashville, she figured she owed it to Justin to take him that far. For all his consideration and kindness, she could do that much to help him achieve his dreams. Then she would have to cut him out of her life. For good. She would have to make it clear he couldn’t contact her, couldn’t put himself in jeopardy.

  Silently, she prayed she wasn’t being foolish, taking an unnecessary risk by delaying their parting until Nashville. How close was Randall to finding her? God only knew.

  She was so lost in thought, she didn’t notice Justin pull off the Mississippi highway until he stopped the car in the shade behind a large tree at the side of the road. Scanning the isolated stretch of road, Tess knitted her bro
w with a curious frown. “Why are we stopping here?”

  “Because it’s secluded.”

  “Why do we want seclusion?”

  “Because I’m not an exhibitionist.”

  Before she could respond, Justin pulled his T-shirt over his head. Tess’s heart drummed with nervous and expectant adrenaline. “Mr. Boyd?” She tried to sound lighthearted. “What do you think you’re doing?”

  “I think I’m hoping to seduce you. I can’t keep my mind on my driving for wanting you. I’m like an addict. I can’t get enough of you, now that I’ve had a taste.”

  Tess giggled awkwardly as he leaned across the bucket seat toward her. “You mean here? Now?”

  “That was the idea.” He cupped her chin with a warm hand. “Kiss me, Tess.”

  “But—”

  He smothered her feeble protest with a kiss that melted any reservations she might have had, while stirring a bittersweet ache in her chest. She would miss his kiss so much when he was gone.

  His mouth had the persuasive power to awaken the tingling response of her body in seconds. His greedy kiss consumed her, and she returned his fervor. Their tongues mated and danced while he freed her from her shirt and pushed aside her bra.

  When he moved his attention to the breasts he’d bared, she wound her fingers in the thick black waves of his hair. Arching her back in response to the tug of his lips on her nipple, she gasped at the rush of pure, sweet pleasure that spiraled through her. She mewled her enjoyment of the light teasing of his tongue on the sensitive swell of her breast and the hollow of her throat. Her hands roamed restlessly across his bare back, and she dug her fingers into his shoulders. After trailing nibbling kisses from her throat to her earlobe, he reclaimed her mouth with an even greater need and eagerness.

  Her fingers moved down the path of dark hair on his stomach. Justin caught his breath and raised his head to gaze at her with eyes made bleary with passion. “Sweet mercy, Tess. What have you done to me? I used to be a patient man.”

  He rolled away to undo his jeans, and she stripped out of her shorts and panties, mindful only of how much she wanted Justin and the blissful climax her body ached for. He pulled her across the front seat to straddle his lap. While he leaned the seat as far back as it would go, she settled over him.

  “Oh, Tess.”

  Justin sank into her. He held her hips in place as he thrust upward, and fiery sparks shot through her. Together, they raced toward fulfillment.

  Mouthing his name, her laud became a begging for release. Tears of joy puddled in her eyes when the pulsing, shattering sensation of completion rocked her.

  She tucked the memory, the precious feeling of completeness, in the corner of her mind. These stolen moments of sweetness would have to tide her through the days and weeks to come.

  Justin bucked harder as he came, and she grabbed for a hand-hold to steady herself on top of him. The car horn blasted when she clutched the steering wheel, and she gasped, startled.

  Justin shuddered and went limp then grinned at her.

  “I’ve heard of women screaming during orgasm, but horn honking . . . that’s a new one for me.” He sat up enough to kiss her soundly then added, “I kinda like your enthusiasm. How about seconds?”

  “You’re insatiable,” she whispered, her throat tight with emotion.

  Justin captured her face between his hands and met her eyes with a penetrating blue gaze. “I could easily fall in love with you, Tess.”

  Her heart lurched. “Don’t say that.”

  “Why not, for God’s sake? It’s the truth. You’re an incredible woman.”

  “I’m a marked woman. I’m a noose around the neck of anyone who is close to me.” She didn’t bother to mention the other thoughts that filtered through her mind—that Justin deserved better than the woman Randall had created, that even if she didn’t have a killer after her, her history made her a poor choice for a girlfriend, much less a wife. She was tainted by Randall’s evil, and she could never let her baggage weigh Justin down. He had a bright future. She had only the determination to survive, despite her past.

  She tried to move off him, battling the tears that welled in her eyes and burned her throat, but he held her arms and pulled her back.

  “Look at me, Tess.” She refused with a shake of her head, and he caught her chin. “I can call my brother. Remember, I told you he was a lawyer? He can help us get a restraining order against Randall. You can be free of him and his threat.”

  Sweet, optimistic Justin, she thought sadly and shook her head again. Her tears streamed down her cheeks, and she swiped at them. “A restraining order isn’t going to stop Randall. He’d send one of his henchmen to do his dirty work. Don’t you understand? I can run from him, but I’ll never really be free of him.”

  “We’ll find a way, Tess. Trust me to take care of you. Trust me to get you out of this somehow. I promised to protect you and can’t give up until I know you are safe. Not just for you, but for Rebecca too. It’s something I have to do.”

  Tess crumpled against Justin’s wide, warm chest and wept for all that she would lose when she left him.

  “If we have to, we’ll go back to San Antonio and face Randall. We’ll hire a lawyer, go to the police, and have the law on our side. We can’t let him get away with this. We won’t give him any choice in the matter. We’ll tell the cops everything we know. We can do this, Tess. Don’t give up on me.”

  His pep talk only cut her deeper. His idealism was one of the things she loved most about him, and she wouldn’t taint his optimism with denials. Soon enough, he’d understand their futures were on separate roads.

  He held her for precious minutes, until the sound of another car’s motor brought their attention back to the country road.

  Tess peeked out the window and gasped. “Oh no! It’s a cop!”

  Clambering off Justin’s lap, she snatched for her shorts while Justin struggled to zip his jeans. She pulled Justin’s T-shirt over her head, finding it before she found her own, and tugged her bra into place as the policeman tapped on the driver’s window.

  “You folks all right? Is there a problem with the car?” The officer cast a curious glance at Tess. Her heart thundered in her chest.

  “No, sir,” Justin said. “No problem. Just taking a short break from driving.”

  “Well, you can’t park here. You need to move the car.”

  Justin bobbed his head. “Yes, sir. Thanks.”

  As Justin rolled the window up, Tess watched the officer walk away. “Do you think he knew we were—”

  “Oh, hell, yeah. Look at us! Half dressed, hair rumpled. He knew.” Justin raked his fingers through his hair as he chuckled. “He knew.”

  Her cheeks heated. “How embarrassing.”

  Brushing her cheek with the back of his hand, he cranked the engine. “Can I have my shirt back?”

  With a glance to make sure the policeman wasn’t watching, she gave him his shirt. “Ready for me to drive?”

  “Sure.” He climbed out and circled the vehicle while she struggled over the gearshift to slide behind the wheel. She headed out to the highway, knowing all too well that in a few hundred miles she would have to leave the man she couldn’t let herself love.

  ***

  “I’m ready for another pit stop to stretch my legs,” Tess told Justin, who’d been scribbling in a small notebook for the last two hours or so. “I’m gonna take the next exit.”

  “Hm? Oh, okay.” He flipped the notebook closed and twisted around to stick it in his backpack.

  “What were you doing?” she asked.

  “Working on a song. For you.”

  He smiled, and her insides melted. She stopped at a small gas station at the edge of a town south of Memphis. Except for a rusted-out Dodge Dart, parked near the door to the building, theirs was the only vehicle in sight.

  “Are they open?” She craned her neck to look for people inside.

  “I think so. I’ll pump.” Justin hopped out and circled t
he Jimmy to fill the tank while Tess fished on the floor for her purse.

  She climbed out and stretched her back. “I’ll go pay. Want anything to drink?”

  “A Coke sounds good. Thanks.” As she started across the pavement, Justin called to her, “And some M&M’s.”

  She waved to say she’d heard him and smiled to herself over Justin’s penchant for sweets. Inside the gas station, she stopped at the glass doors of the refrigerated display and took out two cans of Coke. As she wandered back up the candy aisle to get Justin’s M&M’s, she passed a man wearing ripped, oil-stained jeans and dark sunglasses. At the checkout, she deposited her purchases on the counter.

  A moment later, the man in dirty jeans brought his selections up front to pay. A second man, with a scruffy beard and a black, sleeveless denim jacket, joined the first man. Tess shivered when the bearded man gave her a leer.

  “Will that be all?” the woman at the checkout asked.

  “Yes,” Tess answered quickly, eager to get away from the bearded man’s gaze. “Uh, I mean, no. I’m paying for the gas too. For the Jimmy.” She pointed out at the car with a nervous flick of her hand and saw the bearded man move up close behind her. His hand bumped her buttocks and lingered there. Recoiling from his touch with a jerk, Tess tipped over her purse, spilling her bundled stacks of cash on the counter.

  “Oh, my God!” the checkout woman cried. “Is that money real? That must be thousands! What’d you do? Rob a bank?”

  Tess glanced over her shoulder at the men as she scooped the money back into her purse as fast as she could, her heart hammering. “No. Nothing like that.”

  Her money had the bearded man’s attention, along with his buddy’s. Pulling out a bill at random, she thrust it at the clerk. “Keep the change.”

  With that, she ran out of the shop and hurried back to the truck, where Justin waited for her in the passenger seat. She opened his door and dropped the Cokes and candy in his lap before tossing her purse on the floor as if it were something vile.

  Justin caught her hand. “Are you all right, Tess? You’re white as a sheet.”