Bad Wolf

by Jo Raven

  Is that a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach, or is it all in my mind? Is my worry over something real, or is it just nerves because I’m scared that last night meant nothing to him—when it meant so much to me?

  That I mean nothing to him, when he means everything to me. It scares me so badly.

  Last night he didn’t say anything about losing his job and getting another. Is this why he seemed so upset? Was it because of his mom? Was it something else?

  I want to ask him.

  I want him to come to me on his own terms, without me asking again, to tell me what’s on his mind.

  So stupid of me. I should have known that being in love is to lose one’s mind.

  My phone rings late in the night, interrupting the music I’m playing, and my heart leaps the moment I see the caller.

  He called me back.

  With butterflies crashing about in my stomach, I connect the call. “Yeah?”

  “Gigi.” Oh God, his voice. So deep. Sexy. “You called me. Is everything okay? Are you okay?”

  Crap, and it looks like I managed to worry him. “Yes, everything’s fine.”

  “Okay.” He breathes out. “Good. Gigi…”

  “What?”

  He’s silent for a few beats. “I can’t fucking stop thinking about you.”

  “Yeah?” I swallow hard, my heart pounding fit to burst out of my chest, and my body clenching.

  “I wanted to call you, but I got caught up in something. Did I wake you up?”

  “No.” I smile up at the ceiling. “I was awake.”

  “Awesome. I had to see you. Couldn’t wait any longer.”

  I sit up in bed. “Where are you?”

  “Outside.”

  “Outside, where?”

  “Your house.”

  No frigging way. Jumping out of bed, I rush to my window, open it, push open the shutters and look down.

  And there he is, in the garden below, his face a pale oval in the light from his phone. He glances up and grins, his teeth glinting white.

  For someone who’s had sex with this guy several times already, I feel strangely like a girl on her first date, all jitters and excitement churning in my belly, and a sense of wonder.

  That he’s here. Right here, outside my window. That he wants to see me.

  I gesture at him to go to the door, and I rush downstairs to open it for him. He fills the opening with his height and broad shoulders, and I’m struck speechless while he gives me one of his crooked smiles. His eyes crinkle at the corners.

  A blast of cold wind hits me, ungluing my tongue from the roof of my mouth. “Come on in.”

  “You sure?” He looks past me. “Is your mom inside?”

  “Mom’s on a date.” At his confused look, I grab his hand and pull him inside. “She’s not here. And even if she were, she’d want you to come in, so there.”

  “Okay, okay.” He laughs as I close the door and turn to face him. It’s a dark, delicious sound that tightens things deep in my belly and sends a throb between my legs. “What about your brother?”

  “In his room, listening to music.”

  “You and him, you seem to like doing that an awful lot.”

  “We do. It’s our escape.” I tug on his hand, trying to ignore the need to wrap myself around him like an octopus. “Would you like some dinner? We have leftover meatloaf and pasta.”

  “No. I just wanted to see you.”

  Aw shucks. I should pinch myself, see if I’m dreaming. With the way my dreams have been going lately—with Jarett in them, lots of Jarett—it wouldn’t surprise me.

  “You want to watch a movie? Or maybe—?”

  “I wanna lie down with you,” he says, stopping me. He drags me to him and cups my face with one big, strong hand. “I wanna hold you. Like last night.”

  How could I ever say no to that?

  This boy has my heart, and now he’s making sure nobody else can ever have it.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Jarett

  The moment we’re inside her room, I take her in my arms and bury my face in her neck, where she smells so sweet. Tonight was shit, really shit, and I had to see her. Couldn’t fucking help myself, bad idea or not.

  Her arms wind around my back, and she rises on tiptoes to kiss me. I fall into the kiss, kissing her back with all I have. Freefalling. That’s what it feels like. Flying among starbursts and fireworks.

  Everything fades—my landlord cursing when I told him I can’t pay the rent on time, Sebastian’s sneer, Angel’s glare, the seedy bar we spent hours in while Mav negotiated a deal. The knowledge I’m sinking deeper into wrongdoing and crime.

  Here all that can’t reach me. I can leave it outside the door, and heat spreads through my bones when I think she likes me. She wants me. Nothing makes sense in my life right now, except for this.

  I walk her backward to bed, all my thoughts about just lying down with her fading at the feel of her body on mine, her taste on my tongue.

  I need more. Nothing can save me tonight, except her body. I need to sink into her, lose myself inside her.

  She doesn’t stop me, instead clawing at my clothes as I lower her down on the mattress. I shrug off my jacket, pull off my sweater and T-shirt and feel a thrill when her eyes go heavy-lidded, skimming over my chest.

  I never gave two shits about whether girls found me attractive. Sure, it helped things when I needed some relief, but I found acting like I owned the world worked just as fine. Pretend you’re irresistible, and others think you are. I don’t think I’m the bomb. I just look decent.

  But when this girl looks at me… I want her to like what she sees. What she finds. And more than that, I want her to like me, my thoughts, my humor, my stories, my silences. I want her to care.

  Pushing those dangerous thoughts deep, where they belong, I shove down my pants, kick off my boots and socks, and crawl between her long legs. I’m so hard it hurts, my body vibrating with tension and tight with arousal.

  Her hair is spread around her on the comforter like a cloud, and her lips are parted, a delicate pink. I can’t stop kissing them. Bending over her, I claim her mouth, explore it with my tongue, bite on the soft flesh of her lips until she’s moaning and moving underneath me, the swell of her tits sweet against my chest, her nipples scoring my skin through her nightie, diamond-hard.

  Can’t believe she sleeps in that frothy number of lace and cotton, white and pink bows at the sides. I mean, I sleep in my underwear, or maybe sweats.

  Girls are so weird. So different.

  So damn sexy.

  I only have to draw back and lift the fine fabric to reveal her body, and I groan at the sight of her curves, and those nipples seem to be winking at me, asking for my mouth on them.

  They’re like candy, and taste just as sweet when I lick them and suck on them. She shifts restlessly, her smooth legs cradling my hips, and I smell her arousal.

  It gets me so hot I have to stop for a moment and count backward from twenty, fighting for control. My dick twitches, and my balls are drawn tight.

  Dammit, not yet.

  I tug her panties down—more lace and ribbons and oh fuck, she’s soaked, and my dick swells more, desperate to get inside of her. I pull the lace down her legs, and gaze at her exposed pussy, entranced.

  Stroking her with my fingers, I spread the lips, and damn, this girl’s beautiful. Perfect, so perfect.

  She whimpers when I circle her swollen little clit with my thumb and flick at it. “Please…”

  I push a finger inside her. She’s so damn tight, I hiss as she clenches and rocks. I add a second finger. “Goddamn…” Stroking her takes all my focus, ignoring my dick that leaks and aches. “I need you now. Can’t fucking wait much longer.”

  “Do it,” she whispers. “Now.”

  She’s still so fucking tight, but my control is fraying fast. Grabbing my wallet, I get a condom—I remembered to restock this morning, and a good thing, too—and fumble with it one-handed.


  She reaches for it, and together we manage to open the package and put the condom on me. Her slender fingers are like magic, tugging it on, turning me on more with every light touch, until I growl and shove her back down, settling between her legs.

  Gripping my dick, I push into her, groaning as she clamps around me, her hands scrabbling on my arms as she tries to anchor herself.

  She can’t. My thrust shoves her up the bed, and she squeals in shock. Her legs lift, wrapping securely around me, and it deepens the angle.

  We both moan as I sink so deep inside her I can’t fucking breathe. It feels amazing. A close fit. A tight, hot fit. It blows my damn mind.

  And I glance down, meeting her dazed eyes, and my fucking heart swells in my chest, cause this is Gigi. My girl. I’ve never cared where I stuck my dick in before.

  Now it’s all that matters.

  I rock inside her, and she bows her back, rocking with me. Our bodies slide together, and I thrust harder, because it’s not enough, never enough with her.

  “God, Gigi…” With my hands braced on either side of her, I kiss her, quick, hard kisses, as I move inside her. “Come with me. Fucking come with me, I wanna feel you.”

  “Kiss me more,” she breathes, and our mouths meet as she shudders and pulses around my dick, shattering me to fucking pieces.

  Pressing my forehead to hers, I groan, my eyes falling closed as I finally let go. My ass clenches, the pressure behind my balls gives, and my dick jerks, the pleasure hitting me hard, turning my thoughts to blinding light.

  I float in a haze, shivery aftershocks coursing through me, my panting breaths a distant echo in my ears.

  Fuck.

  That was… I have no fucking words for it. I thought it had been good the other times, but this was off the charts.

  Gigi moans, shifting, and it seeps in that I’m lying on top of her, crushing her. Reluctantly, I push myself up and pull out of her, my teeth gritting at the sensation. Taking off the condom, I tie it and let it drop to the floor over the side of the bed, too wiped to look for the trash.

  I roll on my side, and she scoots closer, draping an arm over my hip, burying her face in my chest, and I haul her against me, grinning like an idiot, my chest full to bursting.

  “Okay?” I ask.

  “Mmm… yeah.” She yawns, and I grin wider, proud I wore her out like that, and pleased, and oddly touched. The back of my damn eyes burns just from having her once more in my arms.

  Everything is fine. Everything is in its right place.

  I wonder if this is what it feels like to be happy. Really happy. This moment when all the dark things turn bright.

  And how it will feel like when it’s gone.

  Inevitably, morning comes, and I roll out of her bed, blinking blearily against the pale sunlight filtering through the slats.

  She’s still here. She doesn’t vanish like smoke, like the wisp of a dream. When she stands up and slips her arms around me from behind are warm. Her fingertips tickle my bellybutton.

  “Morning,” she whispers.

  Lifting one arm, I sling it around her bare shoulders and pull her against my side. “Morning.”

  It’s quiet inside the house. Outside a bird trills, and in the distance, a car accelerates.

  The world is warm and peaceful, the picture complete, no pieces missing.

  We stand there for ages, wrapped up in each other, listening as the birds wake up. I used to do that when I lived with Connor. It’s been years since I last rolled out of bed without nightmares haunting me.

  Without fear.

  Cold eventually creeps in, though, and she starts shivering, so I lead her back to bed.

  “What are you doing today?” She climbs back under the covers, while I stay standing, naked in front of her, barely feeling the cold.

  “Work.” And gang business, probably.

  “Stay for breakfast.”

  I open my mouth to say I should get going, that her mom may not be so pleased after all to find I spent the night in her house without an invitation, but there’s a bang on the bedroom door, and it swings open.

  Merc pokes his head inside and grins at me. “Breakfast?”

  I stare back at him. Here I am, stark naked, my dick half-hard from having had Gigi in my arms, and he doesn’t even seem startled, let alone bothered. A man secure in his sexuality.

  Or less awake than he seems.

  This family is something, but I find myself grinning. “Sure.”

  “Yes.” Gigi claps her hands. “You making pancakes, Merc?”

  “Just follow the aroma,” he says with a wink, and closes the door, vanishing.

  Well, I’ll be damned.

  “He makes the best pancakes,” Gigi says, licking her lips, and I reach down to give my hardening dick a reassuring squeeze. “You lucked out.”

  “I sure did,” I mutter, and I’m not thinking about the damn pancakes but the sexy girl sitting on the bed, the covers up to her chin, her blue eyes wide and clear in the morning light.

  “Gigi was right. These pancakes rock.” I wipe the syrup off my plate with the last piece and lean back with a groan. I wolfed down five of them and could have kept going.

  “Guy’s gotta be able to fend for himself,” Merc mutters with a small grin. “Chicks dig it when you know how to cook.”

  “Oh hey, is this practice for when you get a girlfriend someday?” Gigi asks with her mouth full of pancake, and man I love her even more for it.

  And… pull back that thought and hold, Jarett. I mean, whoa. Where did that come from?

  This is the kind of thoughts lovesick guys get, and I’m not lovesick.

  No fucking way.

  “I don’t practice,” Merc is saying, his voice distant in my ears as I quietly freak the hell out. “I was born perfect.”

  “I’d kick you, but you’re too far away and I’m lazy,” Gigi says. “Dickhead. Nobody’s born perfect. I bet you practiced making pancakes in secret for years, burning your friends’ houses down without ever letting us know.”

  “Yeah, you’re right. That was my big fucking secret. I’m a pyro. All those fires, that was me. There ya go.”

  “So nice of you to finally fess up. Anyway… is there a girl who will enjoy these pancakes other than me? Spill. Is there a girlfriend?” Gigi licks her fingers, distracting me. “Tell me or I will hurt you, Mercury. This is important. We need more girls in this house.”

  “Over my dead body,” Merc says. “I’m the minority in here. How about you bring a boyfriend to join us? Oh wait. You have, haven’t you?”

  Silence falls, and I become aware of their eyes on me.

  Pushing back my chair with a screech, I get up. “Gotta go. Thanks for breakfast. It’s getting late and I’ve got work.”

  “Dude, it’s not even seven in the morning.” Merc takes a huge gulp of coffee and rubs at his eyes. “You starting work so early? What do you work, construction?”

  I push hair out of my eyes. “I need to clean up the apartment. Didn’t get the chance since Seb trashed it.”

  “What? Your brother trashed your apartment?” Gigi is gaping at me. In her knee-high socks and long red sweater, her hair in a ponytail, she’s a picture.

  “It’s his apartment, too.” As if that explains anything. Damn. “Anyway, I’ll be on my way.”

  Gigi hurries after me as I get the hell out of the kitchen and far from Merc’s too-perceptive gaze. “Rett, wait.”

  I stop, turn to face her. Yeah, storming out without kissing her goodbye after sleeping with her would be a dick move, even for me.

  But she doesn’t give me the chance. “Are you okay?” she asks, and puts her arms around my waist, blue eyes wide.

  I nod. “Don’t worry about the apartment. I’ll just clean up, that’s all, and get ready for work. I can’t miss any shifts.”

  “New job?” She hesitates. “I passed by the bar yesterday. Suzie says hi.”

  Anger chokes me. I swallow it down, cuz it’s not Suzie’s fault
, not really. “She does, huh?”

  “She says she’s sorry.”

  I shrug. “It would’ve happened sooner or later. Glad I landed another job so soon after. I need the money for the rent, and Seb robbed me blind one too many times.”

  Her face pales. “Your brother is an ass.”

  Oh, the fuck. What’s wrong with my brain this morning? “It’s okay. He’s family.”

  “Family is people who love you, Jarett. Sebastian doesn’t give a damn.”

  “You don’t understand. I promised her, I promised Mrs. Lowe—his mom—to look after him.”

  “He’s a grown man. And because of him you’re in trouble.”

  I pull away from her. “Never mind, Gigi.”

  Can’t miss work, or I’ll get the boot, can’t miss a gang meeting or Mav and Angel will have my ass, can’t lose Sebastian or fuck knows how mom will react…

  If she makes sense of it. But…

  “Listen to me.” Her small hands twist in my sweater, stopping me. “You never had a family before, I get it, okay? You want to keep this one even as it’s falling apart. But Rett…”

  “No, you still don’t get it. I had a family before. Not once but twice before this one. And I lost them.” I put my hands over hers. My heart is thumping way too fast. “That’s why I can’t give this one up. See, not having something isn’t painful. But having it and losing it… that fucking hurts.”

  Her eyes well up. “Rett…”

  Jesus fucking Christ. I’ve said way too much already.

  Leaning down, I press my mouth to hers. “Everything will be okay,” I lie. One more fucking lie, why the hell not? “You’ll see.”

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Gigi

  “So Jarett is here a lot, huh?” Merc asks me casually a few days later, pretending to be totally engrossed in something on his phone, sipping his steaming coffee at the kitchen table.

  I shrug. “Maybe?”

  He looks up, puts his mug down. “There’s no maybe, sis. I’m not deaf, but I’m getting there after jacking the music volume to the max not to hear you two going at it every night.”