Lovefool (Introduction)

by Amalia Angellinni

#72 COULD IT BE MAGIC

  When she woke up, she smiled. He was sitting in his chair holding her hand. He was smiling as well. She was still wearing her clothes from the previous evening. She went into the bathroom and took shower while Julian prepared the breakfast for her. When she came into the kitchen, he was traditionally standing somewhere else away from the table and watched her eating.

  -Why don’t you never eat with me?

  -I don’t have to eat your human meals. – He answered. – But I will gladly accompany you during your breakfast.

  -But you have to take your strength from somewhere. – She was confused. – Are you something like a vampire?

  -You read too much of the Twilight-saga, Mia. I am definitely not a vampire. It is something else. I take my energy from everything around me. Everything has energy. You, other people, animals, plants, rivers, mountains... everything has energy. I don’t have to eat to get this energy. I absorb it in the way you already saw in the woods. It is the most natural connection in nature.

  Julian looked at his hands and Mia watched them as well. There was a small sapphire coloured ball coming from his hands. It was between his two hands, and had a magnificent shine. Mia was amazed. She wanted to touch it, but she didn't have enough courage to do it. She was like a child in a candy-shop. Julian saw her fascination and doused the ball. It disappeared as surprisingly as it had come into view.

  -You shouldn’t touch it. It could kill you. I am not sure how much energy your body accepts and therefore I don’t want to try it. It is like bushmen acting according to their instincts. You seem to me as if you have no limits and you are specially connected to dangerous situations.

  Mia knew that he was meaning not only his own company, but was referring to her wounds and cuts. She smiled shyly, because he wasn’t right. She wasn't looking for trouble, but trouble found her surprisingly often.

  -Nothing happens without a reason. – Mia answered.

  -One of our Wisemen keeps saying the same thing. He repeats it steadily. – Julian was a little surprised, even it was a well-known saying. Therefore, it was strange to hear it from her.

  Mia saw his confusion. Then she came back to her main area of interest:

  -Can you show me this light again? How do you do it?

  Julian smiled and within a second, the blue ball was already between his hands again.

  -Does it hurt you when you create it?

  -No, it doesn’t hurt me. – Julian was laughing. – I am pure energy. I can modulate how much energy I use.

  The sapphire ball disappeared again. Then he clenched his fingers and laid them on the table. He stretched his arm to her and she touched him. His fist was hard and solid like a rock. After a moment, it was soft and gentle as satin. Mia stroked his fist and it was unbelievable to feel how it was changing so fast. Julian was surprised by her amazement. She was like a little child watching a magic trick “where is my nose”, enjoying this game every time it sees it. It was wonderful to see how much she enjoyed his show.

  -It is all about energy, as I already said. Consequently, it is important for me to control myself perfectly; otherwise, I could easily hurt you or any other person. I don’t want to hurt anyone, especially you.

  Julian was very serious at this moment. He wasn’t laughing or smiling and he looked deep into her eyes. He was worried. Mia wanted to draw his attention to something else. He looked gorgeous even if he had sorrows, but she preferred to see him in a good mood.

  -Can you change into something else?

  -No, I can’t. I can change myself, but I can’t change my environment.

  -And from where do you take this energy?

  -From nature.

  -So you take energy from people, too. It still quite similar to a vampire, but vampires need blood and you take just the energy. Where’s the difference?

  -The difference is simple: I don't have to kill someone to get what I want. – He laughed. – And you have a vampire’s obsession.

  -It is not funny. – She judged. – I am just trying to understand.

  Julian was still laughing. To criticise any book she read and liked was apparently one of the biggest faux pas.

  -No, I am not a vampire. I am just taking some energy from the nature. I don’t take all the energy from one person. It would kill you, if I would do it. However, I never took your energy. I gave you some of mine. You saw it flying in the room.

  She was calm and fascinated, while she listened to his words.

  -My species that I am calling my family, by the way: there are not so many of us in the world, had a pact with humans. It is a very long tradition. It goes back to the times when we were living among people and when we were travelling from one human village to another. I told you yesterday that there were not many of us and we didn't walk in one group. There were smaller groups of us, three, four members of my family. And we were walking here and there. The ancient people called us Pherenikes which meant "bringing victory" from φερω (phero) "to bring" and νικη (nike) "victory" or Brennus which is a form of a Celtic name (or title) that possibly meant either "king, prince" or "raven", depending on the region. We didn't say “we came in peace” – he laughed – but we were always welcomed with respect and joy, like kings or gods. People even gave us with these names, but we kept repeating that we don’t use these titles. However, people didn't care about it and kept used these titles. People have to believe in something. They have to believe that there is someone responsible for their fate. They have to believe in a magnificent power that helps them when they are in need. People need hope; they can’t believe they can rely on their own power only. They have to believe in something mysterious, mystifying, saint. Therefore, they gave us these titles, followed us with respect and gave us gifts. Because we don’t eat human food, we didn't accept the gifts they presented to us. Nevertheless, they started to beg and finally we accepted playing this game. We took their gifts and passed them on, gave them to another village. Everybody was happy. We had our fun and people got something to believe in.

  I was mostly in the Mediterranean area, because I liked the landscape and the climate there. It was our home. There is a Mount Olympus, which is the highest mountain, and it is known as the “home of the gods” from the ancient Hellenistic world. Due to the old legends, you cannot climb there, you will be unsuccessful and you'll fall down. You're just a human being and you won't achieve what's for the gods. We said it to people, because we wanted to have our peace. And indeed it is hard to climb there, even today. There are still unknown rugged tracks between some of the high passes and there are green valleys and flowering meadows. There is one of the most scenic and gorgeous landscapes of the island's interior, you have to cross mountain ridges, chasms and slopes and then you get there – to my home. You will see a hidden gorge between snow-capped mountains, this is your destination. As a normal human being, you will not be able to get there and if you should manage it, you will not see this gorge with a human eye. It is a magical entrance to a world that exists longer than human kind. The land of gods is there.

  Julian became very dreamy when he was speaking about his home. He saw his home right in front of his eyes. He smelled the valleys and flowering meadows. He felt the wind blowing between the mountains. You can see he was glad to have such a place called home and apparently, he missed it right now. It was a pleasure to watch him telling his story.

  -And we had a non-spoken pact with humans: we didn't hurt or disturb them and they didn't bother us. We were what an older brother is for a younger sister. We didn't want to change anything. At least it was the general impression. We helped them to build their cities, we helped them to get their food, we helped them to dream a fairytale about good gods they needed.

  Mia was finished already for a while, but she didn't interrupt him. He noticed it just in this moment and faster then she could twinkle with her eye, he had cleaned up everything.

  -Would you mind to go for a short walk? – He asked sta
nding behind her suddenly.

  Mia turned to him and smiled instead of speaking. Of course, she would go with him anywhere he wanted to.

  She took his sport jacket and put on her shoes. Julian was already waiting for her on the veranda. He smiled at her when she left the house. He was looking great. He had a bright, earth-coloured stylish jacket and pants of a similar colour. He was elegant, but in a way that didn't make him look arrogant or snobbishly. He was looking quite modern, but classic as well. His taste was just perfect. Moreover, he could wear anything and he would still be looking very handsome and incredibly attractive. He was definitely one of the gods. He just looked like one.

  -I will take you to a place that I really love here, in Poland.

  She nodded with a smile and then she was already in his arms. He started to run even faster than up to now. This wind in her face was refreshing, energetic and lovely! She loved it, and she really enjoyed it!

  As he stopped, they were near a lake. It wasn't big, but it was clear and twee. It was a very romantic place. There were woods around them and a small place at the sore of the lake, was the only place where you could stand. It was a little cliff, he sat down there, and she followed him. Mia started to swing her legs and admired the landscape. The lake below her feet was beautiful. It was so clear that she could see the ground. Everything was juicy green and vivid. It was calm here, no people around, no human traces, just the two of them and the nature. The sun was shining, but not as bright as yesterday. There were some clouds at the sky, but it was still quite warm. She took her jacket off and he did the same. They were sitting on the cliff and she looked into the sky, facing the sun so she could soak up some warm energy.

  -You look great in that. – Julian said and pointed at a khaki ¾ long-sleeve cotton top, which he bought her. It was quite modern, but classy.

  She smiled. She liked it, too.

  -Thank you. You should not have bought me things.

  -I was in your apartment and brought some of your stuff and on the way; I couldn't resist to take this one. I could picture you in it. I was right. It looks great. Please take it as a gift.

  She was a little embarrassed that he was in her house, looking for her clothes.

  -I was already wondering when you managed to go to my apartment when I saw my clothes and cosmetics.

  -For a girl you don’t have many things. Everything would fill not more than two travelling bags. And by the way: I like your style.

  -Thank you. I like yours, too.

  -That’s good.

  They laughed.

  -Do you travel much? –He asked unexpectedly.

  -In Poland?

  -No, in general.

  -So far, I have not been abroad. In Poland, I have already lived in various cities.

  She felt obligated to tell him something about her, because he was telling her his story. It wouldn't be fair to receive all this information from him and not to give anything in return.

  -In which place did you live?

  -Almost every year I moved to another city. I used to live was in Gdansk, Szczecin, Wroclaw, Jelenia Gora, Gorzow... Now I’m living in Warsaw.

  She was calm, but he could see a shadow in her eyes, that he couldn't understand. He had a feeling she didn't want to talk about it and it was time to change the topic.

  -And how do you like Warsaw?

  -Oh, Warsaw. I don’t know. It changes very fast. It becomes fresh and Western-like with all these skyscrapers and modern architecture. However, I don’t feel well there. This city steals my strength.

  Mia was relieved that he didn't ask further. She thought about her grandmother and Jonas. It was true. She didn't feel well in Warsaw.

  -Can cities have a negative energy?

  -Yes. Every living being and every place has its own energy. Talking about people, these are just some little quantities of energy. But still, if you saw a village through my eyes, you would know that there is an energetic potential. In the cities, all energy of every single person and animal and of the nature are cumulated and they glow.

  -You can see the energy of every person?

  -I can see the energy levels of every living being.

  -How does it look like?

  -I look at you ans can see a special aura that people can’t see. I see it very well. It is of different colours and intensity. It depends on how you feel. In your case right now, you have an off-white shell around you and it is rather faded. It is not a good sign. It means that you are weak.

  He moved his hand along her body keeping only a distance of some millimetres.

  -Here, you are off-white.

  Then he moved his trembling hand to the wounded leg.

  -Here, the colour is more faded than in other parts of your body.

  Then he almost touched her belly.

  -The same thing here, the colour is very deceased. That was why I know where you’re hurt the most. That is helping me to be more effective.

  She observed how he was moving his hand along her body and was surprised.

  -Normally, a human being has got an opal-white shell. If someone is happy or feeling positive emotions, then the colour changes into pearly-white or silver-white. If someone is ill or wounded then it is off-white. If someone is dying it is cashmere white or creamy white. And very faded. The colour is disappearing when people are dying. At the end, when no colour is left, you know that someone died. Because of the intensity, I can say how ill or happy someone is. I don’t know why, but happiness or love is white. Other emotions have different colours. Red is aggression, angriness, green is melancholic or gloomy, blue is dreamy, wistful, black means always something bad, violet is resignation, brown is relaxation, coolness, yellow is tricky and never comes alone. I can see how intense a feeling is by the intensity of the colour. Imagine you have a cut diamond, it is transparent, you can look inside of it, and you see the millions of colours there. It is the same what I can see in people.

  -What colour do I have now?

  -I cannot say. I cannot look into you. The same as with reading thoughts. I cannot read yours. It’s connected. It looks like you would block it or you’re a unique exception. Maybe you are like a rough diamond. I don't know. I keep thinking about this all the time.

  -That’s awesome! You are really like one of the gods.

  -Many people would call us angels as well. – He smiled. – But we’re not angels. We’re just us.

  -And it doesn’t bother you to see all these people on the streets and in cities who are shining all the time?

  -I have to look into someone to see all these colours. What I always see is the shell. But I can’t imagine living creatures without it. It’s the same like you can’t imagine anybody with such a shell either. I don’t know it differently. It is how I view the world.

  -And how does Warsaw look like to you? Which colour does it have?

  -Warsaw is a city which witnessed many terrible and terrifying occurrences. Many people died there in an inhuman way and the energy of their suffering is still anchored to the city. However, there are many positive things lately. Generally, this city has a negative balance, but it is not so bad anymore today. It used to look much worse.

  -How old are you?

  -I am already living for many centuries. We don't count it like you. My age doesn't matter. What is important, are the values and experiences I collect. I thought I knew already everything about the world. I witnessed many occurrences, I accompanied many people, but because of you, I have changed. It is still something that I cannot understand. You are my sweetest downfall, Mia. I never made such an experience. I don’t know what the future will bring. The more precise you plan the harder it gets. I was sure I spend further centuries like I did before and then I met you. You have changed me and nobody has ever had such an influence on me like you do.

  She was reddening as he spoke. Now she was red like a carrot. He smiled, because it was cute. She looked away.

  The sun was
fighting with the clouds in the sky. Sometimes the sun broke through with the satisfaction of a conqueror and then it was pushed aside by the clouds, that happily took over the command of the sky. Trees were swinging in the wind and the waves on the lake were nice to watch.

  -Are you immortal? –Mia asked after a while when her face went back to her normal colour.

  -What does it mean immortal? –He asked himself and at only after a while, he continued. - I have been living for many centuries and I will probably die one day. I don’t know. People want to posses more time, dream about eternity, but they don’t use the time they have. They don’t enjoy their life.

  -So you won’t die?

  -We can die for sure. There are two ways. As I already told you, we are taking energy from the nature. At first, you collect energy without control and you have to learn how to deal with it in the right way. If you are trained, you can use it with purpose. Even against your family. There was such a case, but only once. It was a very bad story. We are afraid it’s not over yet. The second case is when we betray our secret. So far, there was no such case, because everyone kept the secret safe.

  Julian was silent for a longer while. Mia held her breathe. They were serious right now. They knew that there was danger somewhere in this world, that was coming from Julian’s family.

  Clouds united with each other and it looked like they were winning this sky battle. The sun was hidden and it was much darker outside than yesterday at the same time. It started to rain. Mia put on the jacket and pulled her legs towards her cheeks. She looked at the surface of the lake and saw many small rings caused by raindrops. He stood up and held out his hand to her. She saw his gesture and let him help her to stand up, too.

  -I think you should not get wet here, you will probably catch a cold.

  He took her into his arms and after a short while they were already back on the veranda of his house.

  -I will prepare you a warm cup of tea, OK?

  She nodded. He went into the kitchen and she stayed outside.

  Julian had a family which was important to him and which he loved and missed. However, he could get home. He had a home. Mia had just her grandmother and her grandmother wasn't the most lovely person. Mia wasn't even sure anymore whether she loved her grandmother. She respected her and she liked her, but she wasn't a beloved person. Mia felt responsible for her grandmother, but she didn't miss her. In their daily routine they were passing by each other, they barely spoke with each other and this was mutual.

  Mia remembered that when she was little, she was taken away from her aunt Renata. Mia had been living with Aunt Renata for three years and it was quite similar to the life she lived with her grandmother. When Aunt Renata took her to the door of grandmother, Mia was six years old and was supposed to go to basic school. The door was opened by an old woman with plump glasses. She was quite old and skinny. Her hands were thin and her eyes were like of a fish. She didn't resemble Mia’s father in any way. Her house was like Mia’s grandmother herself: simple, lucid and extremely tidy. There was almost no personal stuff, no photos, and no books. Mia wondered how it was possible that someone has not even one book. Mia came into the apartment, Aunt Renata just quickly said “Good bye”, and then, the aunt was gone. Mia was delivered like a postal package.

  Grandmother said with her squeaker’ voice:

  -Good morning. Your room is over there. There are three rules in this house and as long you live here, you will have to follow them. Rule number one: you keep quiet and no unnecessary talking. Rule number two: you keep your room and this house tidy. Rule number three: If you would like to say something, raise your hand.

  Mia never raised her hand. Grandmother had her opinion about her and Mia knew it won’t change. She had been living with her aunt Renata for almost three years and she had the same rules. Her grandmother was raging when she saw books. Mia didn't know why, but grandmother hated books. Mia tried to read somewhere else, in libraries or in parks, or in the streets of the cities she was living in.

  Did her grandmother love her? Mia wasn't sure. The only thing she was sure of, her grandmother should not be in Jonas’s hands, even though she seemed to be happy about it. She had a simple room without books. She seemed to be another person since she was living with Jonas. She was saying full sentences. She was asking Mia how her life is going. It was weird. Maybe it was the opportunity to make a step forward? Mia wasn't sure. She wondered why she could feel at home here and nowhere else. Up to now there was nowhere warm. Up to now.