A Second Chance at love The Rocker Girls Series

by Jennifer Byars

  Tia nodded but Andy answered for her. “Yeah, she did. I don’t like that you guys think you need to run from this ass. But if that’s what you’ve got your minds made up on doing, then there’s no way in hell that I’m not going with her. You want a fresh start, I’ll be there to help you,” he said, pulling Tia down into his lap.

  Win was now squinting at Addison. “You care to update me on the situation, angel? What is he talking about, a fresh start? And why did Mindy steal the damn van?”

  She shook her head and put her palms to her face, rubbing her eyes as she stood in the doorway to the kitchen. “I need to tell you a little more about us, and how we all fit in with the guys from Death Ever After.” She ran her hands through her hair, trying to figure out the best place to start.

  “You see we all were together. Lynn and Nickels. Margie and Jones, Tia and Howie, and me and Jimmy. But Mindy…she was into Dax. For as long as we all can remember Dax has led Mindy on, telling her he loves her, but never being committed to her. She follows him wherever he goes.”

  She took a deep breath. “When Nickels came into town the other night I guess Dax was with him, and even though they’re all like brothers, Dax and Jimmy are best friends, he’s the one he goes to for help. Nickels wouldn’t tell Jimmy where I’m at because of all the shit Jimmy could get himself into, finding me.”

  Win looked like he’d just thought of something, and it made him worried. “Dax, is he the one with spiky crazy red hair?” he asked, and Addison nodded.

  Win fell onto the couch. “Fuck!” he said, rubbing his hand over his face. She moved in front of him. “So that night when Dax saw Mindy…well, let’s just say, Jimmy’s known where I’ve been. Dax told her that Jimmy was giving me my space, and letting me get away from the rock scene before I came home.”

  She looked down at Win, who seemed to have some things click into place for him. “Winston, he knew about Mickey and me because Mickey told him about us. Yes, he was pissed at me, and on more than one occasion he came bursting in our place screaming at me about it, telling me I wasn’t to see him anymore. But he also knew I didn’t love him.”

  She took his hand, holding it in hers. “But you? You’re something entirely new for me. You see, Mindy knew how I felt about you. We’ve been with each other so long we know when one of us is upset, cranky, or has fallen in love with somebody.

  “Dax asked her questions about me, and she told him that she thought I’d fallen in love with someone. That’s when he started asking her questions about who she thought it was, why did she think that… That’s when she brought up you, and I’m sure he asked her for all the details of our…relationship.”

  Lynn came in with Margie, whose eyes were swollen as she hiccupped under Lynn’s arm. She looked up at everybody, then gave a sad smile to Addison, before going into the bathroom. “She going to be okay?” Addison asked Lynn.

  She shrugged. “Tired of dealing with cheating men. But then we all are, aren’t we,” she told Addison, going to get a beer from Win and South’s fridge.

  “Addison…” Win prompted her.

  “Yeah, sorry,” she sighed. “One of Mindy’s friends called her, telling her the guys were at Chubby’s; that’s the place where we’d all hang out in Hollywood. I guess all the guys were talking about the band Inferno, and how Jimmy was beyond pissed that night she saw him.”

  She squeezed his hand, needing to know what happened that day that made Jimmy so mad. “So I take it you bumped into the guys at the studio?”

  “Yeah, you could say something like that,” Win growled.

  “Did you guys talk about anything that would piss him off, or do you think it was because he knew who you were, from Dax?” she asked him softly.

  “No, angel, we definitely had some fucking words with each other. We just about came to blows, until Nickels stepped in and pulled him aside. But that redheaded fuck, Dax, he smiled at me like he knew something. Now I know exactly what he knew.”

  “Well, whatever happened between the two of you, and whatever was said, pissed his ass off. There’s no way he’s going to stay away from us now. In fact I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s already found out where I live, and is on his way to come get me,” she told him.

  “Ad, baby, you don’t have to go with him,” Win said, pulling her into his lap.

  Lynn laughed and Addison’s head fell back into her hands. “Oh, you don’t know the pull Jimmy has on Addison. Or the damage he can inflict when his drunk, high ass comes to take her back home.”

  “His pull on me is over, Lynn. I love Win, what I feel now for Jimmy is anger, and sorrow.” Ad looked over at Lynn and Tia. “He’s so far gone now…all he loves is his groupies, his drugs and his booze. I’m just the thing that’s been with him for so long, he thinks I’m just supposed to be there at night when he comes home from his fun. I’m his play wife.”

  She turned to Win, hoping he understood what she was saying. “I just don’t know if with all his drinking in the last three years, his mind can be rational enough to finally let me go. He knows it’s over but…” she mumbled, and Win frowned at Addison’s words.

  Addison was hunched over on Win’s lap and Lynn frowned at him. “Look, she loves you, so don’t go all male on us because she loved Jimmy. You have to understand, for twenty-one years we were all together, we were all best friends. We were all we had as a family,” she told him before taking a drink of her beer. “That is, until three years ago when all this shit went down.

  “I think I’m going to call Nickels,” she continued. “See if we can all sit down and talk. See if he can keep Jimmy sober long enough that he can talk rationally with us.”

  “You were with Nickels?” South questioned her.

  Margie had come out, standing against the wall with her foot kicked back, chewing her nails. “No, she was engaged to Nickels. That was until he wanted him and Jimmy to marry up in the world. I mean yeah, Ad is famous in her own right, but she left it to become a doctor. It was when Addison found out about Crystal Goss that she left him. That’s when Jimmy lost it.”

  South jumped up out of his seat. “Holy shit, Crystal Goss, the actress?”

  Lynn looked pissed and disgusted with him. “Is there any other fucking Crystal Goss…dipshit!”

  Win pulled Ad into his arms. “So after he slept with her…”

  Margie continued for her. “He saw her for a while, telling Ad it was all just gossip and none of it was true. We all noticed his drinking was become outrageous, but then it was in the tabloids, with Jimmy kissing Crystal on the front cover, and the headlines saying he was going to dump Ad and marry Crystal…” Her eyes swung to Addison. “Ad was beyond hurt, but wasn’t going to play this game with him. So Addison went to her lawyer and sent Jimmy divorce papers. And we all thought it was done. They were getting divorced and we all decided to leave the music scene and have other professions. We were moving on.”

  “But that wasn’t the case, was it?” Win said.

  “No. Nickels thought Jimmy might leave Ad, then they’d boost their careers even more. But he never thought Addison would file for divorce. But the rest of us, including his boys Dax, Jones, and Howie, we all knew Jimmy was never going to leave his Ad. Hell, Nickels knew deep down he wouldn’t, but he thought he could help him change his mind with a famous piece of ass. Or at least that’s what we all think he did,” Lynn said.

  South looked at everyone. “Why did Mindy take the van without you guys knowing about it?”

  Addison spoke through her hands. “Because she wants to go back home to be with Dax. Don’t you see, if she goes home, Dax thinks we’ll all follow her, then I will be away from Win and Jimmy will have me back. I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t give her the damn idea.”

  Win tucked Addison into him, his chin went to the top of her head. “I want to know when he started to become physical.” Everyone could see he was holding in his anger.

  Margie had her nail in her mouth, but her foot dropped and she slid to
the ground, taking a seat. “To understand everything, you have to know how much Jimmy loved Addison. I know now it seems hard to believe, but at one time…every woman was jealous of how much that man loved her. It was crazy!

  “Nickels would get pissed because he wouldn’t make a move without Ad by his side. It was an inside joke that Nickels really wanted Jimmy for himself… But really he just wanted something better for him and the guys. It just didn’t include five orphaned girls,” she whispered.

  Margie clasped her hands on the back of her neck and her elbows went to her knees. “Jimmy got wrapped up being the rock god and was in heaven when Nickels introduced him to a big movie star who was totally ridiculous about him. So Jimmy did what most stupid men do with a pumped-up ego. He cheated on his wife.”

  Lynn took over where Margie left off, shaking her head. “When Ad found out it broke her heart, and she left him, going over to my place. After about a week he broke off everything with Crystal and came over begging her for forgiveness, telling her it was a mistake. He let fame get to his head, and he loved her, she was his girl.” She laughed. “I don’t think I’d ever seen Jimmy so damn pathetic!”

  Addison was trying to take deep breaths so they could finish this story. “I took him back. I thought it was a one-time deal, and I could move past it.”

  Win’s voice rumbled through her. “But you couldn’t, could you?”

  She shook her head. “He wanted me to act like nothing ever happened. He wouldn’t even give me a chance to heal. I was just supposed to be his Addison again. He wanted me to touch him and treat him just as I did before, but I needed time…” she told him angrily. “Then when he’d come home drunk, accusing me of still being mad at him, I would tell him I was.

  “Things would happen after I would say that, and he’d smack me a little…and then he would tell me he was sorry, that he loved me, and he’d force his love on me. After we’d finish, he would become upset with me, accuse me of purposely making him suffer by not making love to him like I used to… Then he’d go out on me again. Leaving me at home in tears.”

  Lynn stared at the empty bottle of beer in her hands, remembering all the memories. “We all could see the change in her relationship with him. She had a hard time when Jimmy touched her. She’d make any excuses to get away from him when he wanted to put his arm around her, or tried to give her a kiss. That’s when he started the drugs…yeah, things were different for them.”

  Addison looked up at Lynn, holding back tears. “That’s enough. He knows enough now.” But Lynn frowned at her. “Ad, he has to know everything that happened to you, to us, to understand the decision we’ve made. If he’s going to be a part of your life, he has to know what you’ve been through, what you’ve suffered, to understand everything. That’s the one thing we’ve all learned through all this shit. Just get everything out in the open,” she told her softly.

  She sighed when Addison didn’t speak, looking away from her. “So about six months later we all witnessed the decline of Jimmy even further. That’s when Ad decided to tell him she really wanted to make their marriage work, she loved him, and started to blame herself for his decline.

  “So she brought us home with her one night to tell Jimmy she was truly ready to forgive him if he’d get help… But that’s the night we walked in on their groupie gang-bang. All of them were with a bunch of groupies. Jimmy was so high, he looked at Ad and never stopping fucking the girl he was with. We went upstairs, packed her shit, and she left him.”

  “For good this time!” Tia told them.

  Lynn nodded. “Not until he sobered up did he realize what Ad saw and…went to go see her.” Addison wiggled her way off of Win’s lap, going over to the window. She didn’t want anyone to look at her face.

  “That wasn’t the first night Jimmy had hit me. The first time was when I found out about Crystal, but this is when it became worse. I called him a whore that night he came over after his little orgy… I got smacked for that, making my lip swell up and bleed. I remember feeling the blood roll down my chin, and I told him to leave, and I never wanted to see him again. He grabbed me, shaking the hell out of me, accusing me of making him want to hurt me.” She took a breath.

  “I never told anyone about what Jimmy did to me. It went on for about a year before the girls found out. I would tell Tia I fell, or that I needed iron pills and that’s why I was bruising so much. But the others… I stayed away from them.

  “There were times, Win, that I’d sleep with him hoping I would appease him enough that I wouldn’t get hit. I just couldn’t mentally take it during my exams,” she said, embarrassed by her own stupidity.

  “There were many women, and at first all I wanted him to do was stop. Just stop being with these women, but the drinking and drugs were so bad at this point his brain just couldn’t get it, it was like his brain was floating in the whiskey he drank every day.”

  “And when did the girls find out, angel?” he asked in a tortured voice.

  Addison looked out the window, finally ready to tell all of them what happened. “Jimmy came over for what seemed like the hundredth time that week. I was exhausted from studying my ass off for school and that didn’t help me bridle my mouth any.

  “I was so tired of this game he was playing with me. He’d come over drunk or high, or both, asking me to come home. I’d tell him no, then I’d get hit, then he’d tell me he was sorry and that he loved me... I was done! I had to go back to our home. I went up to our bedroom to get some paperwork I had at our house for school. That’s when I saw him in bed with some girls.

  “They giggled at me.” She wiped a tear off her cheek. “Knowing they were in bed with my husband. But there was nothing to say at this point. I turned to go for the door when he woke up, stumbling naked out of bed. He was shouting my name, calling for me to stop as I went running down the stairs to get away from him. I didn’t want to see him, I didn’t want him talking to me, I didn’t want him touching me, and I definitely didn’t want to see his stupid face!

  “He easily got ahold of me, and started in on all the same shit. Can you believe that? I walk in on him with three women, and I’m just supposed to forgive him?” She shook her head.

  “He started to kiss me, whisper all the things he’d said before that would’ve softened me. That worked on me a couple times, like an idiot I’d sleep with him. But after what I just walked into… I was disgusted by him. He might have been drunk, but those women were in our bed. The bed he claimed he missed me in, and wanted me to come back to. That was never going to happen now!”

  Her hands wrapped around her body, keeping her together. “I was so stupid to go back home without anybody for support. I just couldn’t get it through my damn head that this wasn’t my Jimmy anymore!” She wiped away a couple more tears, then her arms hung by her sides.

  “He pushed me up against the wall and started kissing me. When he finally let go I smacked his face as hard as I could, screaming at him.” She shook her head angrily, thinking back. “Then he started in on the same old shit. He was sorry, he loved me, that he wasn’t whole unless he was with me. When I saw the lipstick on his neck I lost it, smacking his face once more, yelling at him to leave me the fuck alone. That’s when I said something so stupid. I wanted to hurt him so badly, like he’d hurt me…”

  “What did you do, Addison?” Win asked softly.

  She laughed quietly. “I told him that I’d made out with Tom Hunter, and that having his hands on my body was more exciting than his touch ever was. That I loved the way he kissed me and he made my body melt for him. And maybe next time when he asked me to bed, I would say yes. This way I could see what it’s like to fuck a movie star and get a second opinion on how I was in the sack.” She said the last part on a whisper.

  “Fuck!” Andy said, grabbing the back of his neck.

  “You did not say that?” Margie yelled, surprised, and she nodded.

  “Holy fuck, you made out with Tom Hunter?!” South asked, star-struck, and Ad
dison frowned.

  “Sit down, ass. He’s just a guy!” Lynn yelled at him. Then she turned her attention back to Ad. “I can’t believe you told him about Tom.”

  “I didn’t do anything with him but kiss him…you know that,” Addison said softly.

  Win sat forward, his hands clasped together. “But he didn’t, did he?” She shook her head to answer his question. Tia just sat there cradled in Andy’s arms, hating all of them talking about the times when her sister got hurt.

  “The only thing that flashes through my mind now when I think back to that day, that moment, is the pure anger on Jimmy’s face before his fist came at me, and the girls screaming to call an ambulance. I don’t remember much after that. I woke up in the hospital with Nickels on the phone with Lynn, and Jimmy holding my hand, crying.”

  Tia had her head on Andy’s chest, wiping tears off her face with the palms of her hands. “That was the first time he really attacked her, and put her in the hospital. Nickels made sure everything was kept hush hush since they were going on a world tour.”

  She turned from the window to look back at Win. “Jones came in to get him, but he wouldn’t leave me. All I wanted was him gone. I told him to go, go be the rock god like he always wanted to be. That he was free now to go screw any woman he wanted without any worry about me. Because as far as I was concerned we were through, and I was filing those papers for the divorce.”

  “That’s when the beatings really started…after he came back and he wanted her to come home to him, and she wouldn’t,” Margie whispered.

  South ran his hand over his face. “So you guys want to run again? Why? Just put a restraining order on his ass and call it a day!” he told them.

  Lynn crossed her arms, laughing sarcastically. “Yeah, because that stopped him before…right?”

  Win got up, making his way to Addison. “What do you want to do, angel?”

  “The girls and I have always wanted to live in Nashville. We used to talk about it when we were growing up. We all decided that’s the place where we’d like to start our families and put down roots, roots we never had before.”