Shoulder Season

by Jackie North

  Ben felt hot all over, both with pleasure and a bit of shame that he’d doubted Solvin, who’d never showed himself to be anything other than a truly decent human being. But Solvin smiled as he handed Ben his blue plastic bracelet and the pile with both of their towels, bathrobes, and candles. With the rucksack hanging off one arm, Ben was almost off-balance, but Solvin moved in close and settled the rucksack on Ben’s shoulder as they went into the men’s changing rooms. There they picked out a locker that was low and in the middle, and then Ben opened it and held his breath because now he’d have to change in front of Solvin, and Solvin would have to change in front of him.

  Solvin leaned his cane against one of the closed lockers and shifted his coat to take it off. Ben put their gear on the bench and then reached up to help him so he wouldn’t strain his shoulder and was surprised to see Solvin was blushing.

  “I’m not very good at taking my clothes off in front of strangers,” said Solvin. He was trying to look Ben in the eye and failing.

  “Just stare at your feet,” said Ben with more confidence than he’d felt only a moment before, and all because Solvin needed this from him. “That’s what I usually do at the rec center.”

  “The rec what?” asked Solvin, now distracted from his own woes. His eyes were fully on Ben’s now, trusting and blue, and it almost took Ben’s breath away.

  “Short for recreation center, kind of like a gym and a pool and stuff like that. Most every community has them.” Nodding, Ben thought to cover up all of what he was feeling, but then he realized that with Solvin, he didn’t need to act cool, so he let himself laugh, even though it would be a dead giveaway that he was nervous too.

  In response Solvin made a funny motion with his mouth, a smile and a frown all at once as if he couldn’t decide exactly how he felt, except that he reached out and put his hand on Ben’s forearm at the same time. Solvin’s fingers clasped tight for a second, and then he let go.

  “We’ll go into the water, you and I,” said Solvin. “There are all kinds of places where we can be quiet and together.”

  With a small laugh that was a little bit shy and eager all at once, Ben opened one of the lockers, a large one on the bottom row, and together they began to get undressed and into the swimming trunks Solvin had brought. All Ben could see was his own feet, but out of the corner of his eye, he saw the bruises all up and down Solvin’s body, and the length of his thigh, and the lovely bit of silky hair beneath his arms. After which Ben concentrated even harder on his own socks and shoes and everything else, including telling his body to have some patience until the very moment when he was tightening the cord of the thigh-length blue swim trunks that belonged to Solvin. Then he could look.

  His patience was its own reward because Solvin was indeed lovely to look at. Not that Ben stared, as that seemed to make Solvin nervous, but he could trail his eyes up from Solvin’s feet, along his long legs, his Icelandic god chest with its tiny dark-gold hairs, the wide shoulders, and then to his face, which had a very pink blush.

  “You are lovely,” said Ben out loud, not even stopping himself from saying it, even if it was something Alan had always objected to—he wanted to be seen as handsome or stunning or something like that. “Very lovely,” added Ben. “But are you going to be okay in the water with those bruises?”

  The bruises on Solvin’s leg and along his chest and arms, all on one side, did not look fresh, but they did look like they’d hurt when the car accident happened. There was the clear line of a seat belt across Solvin’s neck and chest, and Ben, almost without knowing it, reached out to trace the parallel blue marks with his fingers.

  “I’m glad you were wearing a seat belt,” said Ben, and he meant this more than he realized because his voice seemed to shake in his throat, making him a little more vulnerable than he’d meant to be.

  “Me too,” said Solvin. “It would have been a great deal worse, and then maybe I wouldn’t be here with you now.”

  Ben would have moved closer, maybe for a hug that would be so very nice, but they were in a locker room, and it wouldn’t be right. So instead he bent to get Solvin’s terrycloth robe from the bench and helped him into it, then helped him with his flip-flops. He even tied the sash for Solvin so at least they could be close, for just that moment. His hands lingered on the knot as he tied it, smiling up into Solvin’s eyes as he did it.

  “I’m thinking that a nice soak in the water will be good for all of you,” said Ben. “All those minerals.”

  “Being with you will be good for me too,” said Solvin. There was a sparkle in his eyes as he said this flirtatious comment, making the words sweet and saucy at the same time.

  Ben pulled on and tied his own robe and slipped his feet into his flip-flops, smiling the entire time. He was glad to leave his cell phone behind in the locker; he even put it on the very bottom of their stuff, which he arranged as well as he could. Then he straightened up, took Solvin’s hand, and together they walked out of the men’s locker rooms and out to the brisk air beside the lagoon.

  At first the blueness of the water seemed to be a trick of the eyes or of the light because nothing could be that blue outside of a painting or a retouched photo. The smell of sulfur and other minerals was thick in the air and seemed to swirl around them on the clouds of steam that rose up from the water. The entire pool was lined with chunks of black lava and basalt, the contrast giving the water a silvery look. There were different walkways over the water and steps that led into it, but Ben spotted a place where they could simply walk, which might be easier for Solvin.

  “Hey,” said Ben. He pointed so Solvin could see what he was looking at. “Let’s go that way.”

  In silent agreement, they hung up their bathrobes and towels on hooks along the wall and then, holding hands, walked into the warm, silky water. Except the water was very warm, and it took a bit of bravery to keep going until the water was up to their waists. The sky overhead was growing cloudy and gray, and with the steam rising up, it felt as though they were encased in fog, a delicious warm fog that gave them the sense of being alone in the giant pool.

  “Man, that feels good,” said Ben as he eased closer to Solvin. “How’s that ankle?”

  “The water is helping it,” said Solvin. “All those minerals.” He winked as he said this, echoing Ben’s words from before in a playful way.

  Solvin tugged on Ben’s hand, and together they walked out into an area where nobody seemed to be and then stopped in a swirl of blue water. As the clouds of steam rose up in pillars around them, Solvin stepped up to Ben and, very slowly, his eyes on Ben the entire time, looped his arms around his waist and pulled him close until they were hip to hip. The watery closeness was enticing, and Solvin’s legs were solid against Ben’s legs, his damp chest warm against Ben’s chest.

  “Is this terribly forward of me?” asked Solvin. “It is, isn’t it?”

  “It is,” said Ben. He lifted his arms out of the water and embraced Solvin, his palms flat against Solvin’s back.

  Now they were close enough that Ben could see the droplets of water on Solvin’s eyelashes, the moisture in his hair, the angle of his jaw, and the little dimple he had not noticed until now. Solvin’s hips touched his through their swim trunks, and Ben could feel the warmth of Solvin’s skin, the heat of his groin, the solid press of his cock, and the enticing idea of it, that they were so close, sent shivers along Ben’s stomach and the inside of his thighs.

  “Can we kiss, do you think?” asked Ben. “Are there enough clouds to hide behind?”

  “There ought to be,” said Solvin, and it seemed this statement was meant as a yes, for Solvin dipped his chin and leaned forward with half-closed eyes, and Ben kissed him.

  The tenderness in Solvin’s returned kiss sent waves of bliss through him, a languorous sense of arousal easing through his brain, and Solvin’s small sigh told Ben he would welcome more of the same, if only Ben would let him. Which Ben would, had they been more alone, for even in the isolated center of the
warm, steamy pool, he could sense the other bathers walking past, chatting beyond the plumes of gray steam. Very gently Ben ran his fingers through Solvin’s damp hair, sending up spikes over Solvin’s forehead in a jaunty way that made Ben smile.

  “I would like to pig you for a good long while yet,” said Ben. “But maybe we should save it for later?”

  Alan would have said that anybody who was bothered by their public display of affection could go screw themselves, which Ben could sometimes agree with, but in this gentle, calm place, it seemed right to be more discreet. Besides, he wanted to be alone with Solvin if and when they decided to take it further. Privacy was optimal for anything more than kissing, and Solvin seemed to agree with this and with what Ben had asked, for he nodded and swept his hands up Ben’s arms and across his shoulders, as if admiring the line of them, and kissed Ben soundly on the mouth.

  “Definitely yes,” said Solvin. “And yes, definitely later. As for now, we could put mud on our faces and go over to the steam caves.”

  Entirely amenable, Ben followed where Solvin led, their hands linked just below the water, not because they were afraid of anybody seeing them and objecting, but because that way the water could sluice over their hands and between their linked fingers with ribbons of warmth, all lush and lovely. They splashed over to the edge of the pool, where wooden boxes of white silica mud were set up for anybody to use. Ben watched a moment as Solvin slathered his face and neck with the mud and then did likewise, laughing as it got into his hair and dripped down his chin.

  “It dries in about ten minutes,” said Solvin. “Let’s go this way.”

  Walking through the more than waist-high water made the going slow, but there was no need to rush, not when the point was to relax and let the minerals and the heat do their work. They made their way along the rim of black basalt to a half circle of dark lava that rose out of the water. Solvin led him into what proved to be a tunnel beneath the rock where the steam from the water circled around their heads and droplets of moisture fell into the water with gentle whispers.

  Their peace was disturbed by a happy family who came into the cave; the three kids were boisterous and loud and used the cave as their echo chamber, and the parents seemed unable to control them, though they didn’t seem to be trying to any real degree.

  “At least they’re not Americans,” said Solvin, laughing a little.

  “They might as well be,” said Ben in return.

  “Let’s give them the place and go to the waterfall to wash off,” said Solvin.

  It was easy to follow Solvin out of the now noisy cave and into the expanse of the pool, where the sun was trying to break through the clouds and failing, leaving sparkles of gold and silver in the fog that hung above the pool.

  The waterfall was set against a tall white wall that contrasted starkly with the black basalt, and other bathers were washing off their masks beneath the water. Ben eagerly stepped into it and rubbed his face to rinse off the silica mud. When he opened his eyes, Solvin was standing in front of him, clean of the mud except for a speck on his temple. This Ben washed off with handfuls of water and gentle strokes, and Solvin stayed very still the entire time and rewarded Ben with a quick kiss nobody saw, though Ben imagined nobody would care if they did, as there were at least two other couples kissing beneath the waterfall.

  “Shall we get a drink at the bar?” Solvin pointed at the other end of the pool, nearer to the entrance, where Ben noticed bathers hanging off the edge of wooden piers, behind which a bartender was serving drinks.

  “Should you drink while taking pain meds?” asked Ben. “You fell asleep last time.”

  Solvin’s pout was instant and adorable, and Ben had to laugh at the sight of a grown man wearing the expression of a three-year-old who wants what he wants.

  “I took half a dose because the pain wasn’t so bad this morning,” said Solvin, “and because I knew the water would help more than anything. And besides, you’ll be there to catch me if I fall.”

  “Yes,” said Ben. “Yes, I will.”

  Solvin was a grown man who could determine his own course of action and had obviously planned for the drink in advance. Ben linked his arm through Solvin’s, and together they strode through the warm water, sinking low into it as they came up to the bar. Together they planted their elbows on the wooden bar and waited till the bartender came over to them. He was a sturdy lad, neatly dressed in a white shirt and black apron in contrast to all the bathers who were clothed only in their bathing suits, which made him seem extra formal.

  “Drinks, sir?” asked the bartender in that pleasantly accented English all Icelanders seemed to have.

  “I’ll have a beer,” said Solvin. “Whatever’s on draft. Ben, what do you want to have?”

  “I’ll have the same,” said Ben.

  The bartender scanned the chip on their plastic bracelets and quickly brought them two beers in plastic glasses. They moved away from the bar with their beers held up over the water, as there was a bit of line that had formed behind them. To get away from the crowd, they walked through the water to the edge of the pool, where the black basalt rose up out of the water and shielded them from the wind that was whisking across the surface of the water and twisting the fog into spirals. They drank their beers in companionable silence, and Ben kept his eye on Solvin to make sure he was going to be okay. Then Solvin noticed him watching and waggled his eyebrows as he finished his beer.

  “I’ll only have the one,” said Solvin, promising. “But I think I’ll just stand here for a minute, as I drank it too fast.”

  Ben laughed as he took Solvin’s plastic cup, finished his own beer, and half walked, half swam over to the bar, where he put the two plastic cups in the recycling bin. Then he made his way back to Solvin, who, while he was looking a little glassy-eyed, was standing upright and holding his hand out for Ben to take.

  “Even without the beer, this place always makes me want to take a nap,” said Solvin.

  “I’ll hold you while you sleep on the way home,” said Ben, almost without thinking about it. But it was a very nice thing to imagine.

  On their drive to the lagoon, Solvin’s shoulders had fit into the curve of his arms in the most delicious way, as though their bodies were a perfect fit. Or maybe that was the beer talking, making romantic notions when there wasn’t really any romance, just two guys having a good time together.

  Or was it? Ben’s heart sped up, and he instantly shut off memories of Alan making fun of him for expressing anything smoochy or romantic. This was getting easier with every passing minute, with every moment he spent with Solvin, and he knew the day would come when Alan would be only a distant memory he barely had any feelings about. But that day had not yet come, though it was close. Maybe he ought to say something to Solvin now, which could only help dispel the thoughts of Alan that kept encroaching upon his sojourn in Iceland.

  But just as Ben opened his mouth, Solvin stepped forward, flung his arms around Ben’s shoulders, and tucked his face against Ben’s neck. As he was taller, he had to dip down a little, but the weight was a welcome one, and the warmth of Solvin’s skin, the silky, damp feel of it, soaked into Ben so fast it was as if his body had been in a drought and Solvin had brought the rain.

  “Don’t go,” said Solvin, whispering this in Ben’s ear. “Stay in Iceland with me. I will keep you warm all the winter long.”

  Ben was almost shaking with the thought of it, of staying with Solvin, with the feel of Solvin’s warm breath against his skin.

  “Is that the beer talking?” asked Ben, his voice low as he embraced Solvin, pulled Solvin’s body against his. “It’s okay if it is.”

  “Maybe a little,” said Solvin. He pulled up and wiped water from his face like an angry kid scrubbing away tears he didn’t want anybody to see. “Please remind me not to have anything else to drink. Even if I did only take half of one pill, it’s too much.”

  “Do you want to get out and get something to eat?” asked Ben, though wh
at he really wanted to do was return to the discussion about staying in Iceland with Solvin forever and Solvin keeping him warm all the winter long. But everything was happening so fast. Maybe they should just get something to eat and talk about it when the beer had worn off and Solvin didn’t look as dazed.

  “Yes,” said Solvin. “Just hold my hand forever, and never let me do what I just did again.”

  “I will, and I will,” said Ben.

  “I only wanted to have a drink with you in the lagoon,” said Solvin as Ben took his hand and began to lead them to the tiled slope at the edge of the lagoon.

  “Is this how you planned it?” asked Ben.

  “Except for me getting dizzy, yes,” said Solvin, utterly honest.

  “I’ll take care of you,” said Ben.

  And this he did, carefully leading Solvin out of the pool, getting a towel to dry him down (which was no hardship), and then bundling him in his robe. Then he dried himself off, put on his robe, and led Solvin into the men’s changing room. There, because he was in take-care-of-it mode, he didn’t bother not looking because the point was to help Solvin into his clothes, find the dryer for his hair so that Solvin and he could sit down and get some food into their bellies to offset the beer. It’d be iced tea at the meal, Ben determined, or water, or soda. Solvin needed Ben to do a little bit of looking out for him, and this he was happy to do.

  When they were dried and dressed, they grabbed their coats and Solvin’s cane from their locker, paid for the two beers at the front desk, and deposited their plastic bracelets. Then they walked out into the main area, where they examined the menus for the two eateries, one café and one upscale restaurant. Ben knew his own leanings and decided his budget would be okay with that. Then he looked at Solvin and raised his eyebrows.

  “Shall we dine in style?” he asked.

  “Yes,” said Solvin. “The food is amazing, and don’t worry about the prices—”