Tougher Than The Rest

by Shirleen Davies

  Niall watched her expressive face as she spoke. The words she said were true, but the impact on him was more painful than he ever would have imagined. He continued to gaze down at her as he fought his tangled emotions. He doubted she was even aware she continued to worry the band on her finger as she waited for his reply. That damned gold band. It had caused so much confusion. Now, of course, he knew Trent had given it to her when she left home. Almost like a talisman, it was a sign of her father’s love, a token to keep her safe, and a part of her heritage. Her mother’s wedding band. Trent felt certain it had played a part in getting her to the MacLaren’s and keeping her safe until he found her.

  “I understand. But I wasn’t worried about you speaking with Trent.” He stopped to look out the window when he heard someone call his name then turned back at Kate. “I need to take Jocelyn back to town,” Niall said, “but would very much like to speak with you when I return.” Her eyes provided him the answer before she responded. He didn’t know why he was even pursuing this. He should be glad, relieved Trent had found his daughter and Kate had regained her memory. But something kept nagging at him. He didn’t know what, but he knew it was important he figure it out, and soon.

  “A couple of hours ago you were ready to offer marriage to another woman. We both know Jocelyn is who you want, not me. Knowing I’m Trent’s daughter, and not married, changes nothing. You’re a very tough man, Niall. You’re tougher than the rest.” She spoke these words in a soft voice, without rancor. “I envy you the ability to set a course of action and follow it through, no matter how your actions affect others. You don’t love Jocelyn, but you’d sacrifice that for her social background. Beth can’t stand the woman, but that’s a small price to pay for the connections your marriage will produce. No, Niall, I’ll not stand in the way of your carefully planned future. Marry her. It’s obvious what you want from a marriage is nothing like what I will expect from mine.” Kate didn’t know how she got the words out as her heart was pounding so hard she could barely breathe. But it had been her heart that had gotten her into bed with Niall, and she’d no longer pay it any mind.

  Niall continued to stare at Kate through eyes that had turned to slits. Her words were accurate, but they cut through him as if a knife had plunged into his chest. “All right, Kate, I won’t press you. But there is more to this. You know it and so do I. Don’t delude yourself—this isn’t settled.” Niall turned, walked through the front door, and climbed up onto the wagon for the trip to town.

  Kate started out the door to find her father, letting Niall’s final words settle in. “…don’t delude yourself, this isn’t settled.” Did I miss something when he told me he’d never love me? That he’d marry Jocelyn to further his ambitions? Kate asked herself, as so many emotions crashed through her mind. No, Kate had no doubt the next time she saw Niall, he’d be betrothed to Jocelyn.

  Both Kate and Niall had been so wrapped up in their own thoughts that neither noticed the person standing in the dining room, listening. Well, that was interesting. This just keeps getting more intriguing.

  ******

  Jocelyn became increasingly agitated during the trip back to town. She was sure Niall would use this time, alone with her, to finish what he’d started after supper, but he was silent. The one time she broached the subject, he’d told her they’d talk about it later.

  “No, Niall, we need to discuss this now,” Jocelyn demanded as they arrived at her home in town. She didn’t raise her voice, but her tone was set. “What were you going to say before we were interrupted? Were you proposing?”

  Niall set the brake on the wagon before sitting back on the seat and staring up into the clear sky. He didn’t know how to respond. His feelings for Kate had grown during her time at the ranch. He thought of her constantly, fighting the growing sense he should call everything off with Jocelyn. Last night wasn’t so much a mistake as it was a true reflection of his desire and growing need for Kate. And Kate’s parting words had shaken him. Was he sacrificing everything, including his daughter’s feelings, for a woman he didn’t even like in order to achieve some misguided need for political gain? “Jocelyn, I know this may be unfair to you, given the direction the conversation was headed at dinner, but right now I’m not ready to talk about us.” He jumped off the wagon and walked around to assist Jocelyn down.

  “I don’t understand your hesitancy. If you planned to propose, how could the events of today change your mind? We’ve discussed the benefits of a union many times. Unless it’s the girl. Is she the reason you’re backing away?” Niall didn’t answer, just watched as she continued her protest. “She’s not right for you and has nothing to bring to a marriage. I don’t understand how you could even consider someone like her when I have so much to offer.”

  He made no attempt to explain himself. His reasons for holding off were his own.

  “Will I see you again, or is this good-bye?” Jocelyn had never been one to mince words.

  “Let’s leave it for now, all right? I plan to see you Sunday for dinner, unless you’d prefer I not come,” he said in a matter-of-fact tone. He needed time to think, to figure out if the gnawing sensations in his stomach were from the fact he’d just learned Kate was Trent’s daughter, or something more. If more, did it mean he had deeper feelings for Kate than he thought? That he might be in love with her? And, if he loved her, could he throw away everything he thought vital to go after her?

  “Sunday dinner is fine, Niall. I will expect you after church.” What else could Jocelyn say? She didn’t love Niall, not in the least, but she wasn’t ready to lose him, especially not to someone so far beneath her in wealth and standing. No, Niall would be hers. It would just take more time.

  Chapter Sixteen

  “So how did both of you happen to come to Fire Mountain? Were you working another case together?” Niall asked as they settled themselves next to the corral railing. Trent, Jamie, and Niall had disappeared to discuss the real reason Jamie had come to Fire Mountain.

  “Actually, it was pure luck,” Jamie responded. “I stopped at the sheriff’s office in Phoenix to check-in, and there was Trent, asking about Kate, checking leads to her whereabouts.”

  “I had already been to the stage office,” Trent interjected, “and although they don’t keep names, the descriptions of the two women on the wrecked stage matched Kate and Mrs. Stelford. Sheriff said my best chance was to head to Fire Mountain, where some of the passengers were taken for medical treatment.” Trent shook his head and laughed. “Small world. Jamie walks in just as the sheriff mentions Fire Mountain, and all he says is, ‘Hey Garner. That’s where I’m headed. We’ll go together.’ That’s it. No, ‘Hello, Trent. How’re you doing?’” Trent laughed again. “All these years and Jamie is still the same pushy, pain-in-the-ass he was as a kid,” Trent finished. Everyone smiled, especially Jamie.

  “We decided to head to the ranch, get some food and sleep, then talk to Sheriff Rawlins tomorrow about Kate and the recent robberies,” Jamie said.

  Discovering Kate at the ranch had been so unexpected that the robberies had been forgotten. Trent had agreed to help Jamie, but at the time, Kate had been his number one priority. Now that her whereabouts were known, Trent was free to devote some time to his friend and protégé, Jamie. The three men would go over what they knew so far, and then ride into town the next morning to meet with the sheriff and Sam.

  “So no one’s noticed anything more missing, right, Niall?” Jamie asked right off.

  “Not that I’m aware of, unless something was taken last night during the dance, but I think it’s unlikely,” Niall replied. “The sheriff’s plan to have everyone lock up their valuables got people’s attention. Most ranchers left at least one man on watch, and many of the town’s people took Atkinson up on his offer to store their jewelry in his fault. But we may not find out if anything is missing for several days. As you already know, only cash and jewelry have been taken, and darned little from each home. We found nothing broken and no clues. The l
one way we can figure to flush them out is to have Hen’s celebration, and invite enough people so we can watch their places with two or three ranchers and a few men from town. Of course the ranchers will have their men on watch, so we need to post our own people in town. Hen’s having the party Wednesday, at his home. We need to settle on who’s watching each place.”

  “Two men should be at each location,” Trent interjected. “More men should be posted around town watching for anything out of the ordinary. These wouldn’t be the law, but regular town folk that can be trusted. They wouldn’t confront anyone, just report to one of us if they see anything suspicious. Do you think there are eight or ten men you’d trust to do this, Niall?”

  “I don’t know for sure that we can come up with that many. Most of the ones we know well will be at the party. None of us has the slightest idea who’s behind this, so it’s hard to know who to trust.”

  “Understood,” Trent replied.

  “What about here, Niall? Who’ll be watching the house and women?” Jamie could volunteer to stay, but he felt his presence in town was more critical.

  “Drew, Will, Gus, and Pete know what’s happening, and will be watching out for everyone. We’re okay here.” At least Niall hoped they’d be safe. So far, no one had been hurt, but then no one had seen the thief, or thieves. He didn’t know what would happen if someone confronted them during a robbery.

  ******

  Kate hadn’t spoken another word to Niall. It was Wednesday morning and she’d spent all her time with Trent or Beth. She helped Alicia prepare meals, rode Captain each afternoon, borrowed books from Niall’s library when he was out of the house, and planned her day to avoid him. It was obvious, but there wasn’t much he could do about it. Maybe it was for the best. He needed time to think, sort out what he thought he wanted from what he needed.

  The more Niall rehashed the events of the last few weeks, the more he realized how he’d deliberately ignored what was happening between them. Niall knew he was attracted to Kate from that first encounter in Phoenix. His defenses had spiked right up. He’d built more walls each time since, pushed her away, and tried to convince himself that marrying Jocelyn was still what he wanted. But the truth was, he no longer believed it. All he could think about was Kate. She was beautiful, yes, but she was also compassionate, intelligent, and funny. He’d witnessed her humor, even though it had rarely been directed at him. She’d become important to Beth, and if he were honest, important to him. He’d been a bastard from the start, pushing her away every chance he got.

  His instincts told him she was at least a little in love with him. He’d taken those feelings and crushed them, declared he’d never be able to love her. But he wanted her. Hell, he wanted her with an intensity that surprised him. He doubted she’d give him a chance, let him make-up for the wrongs already committed. But he needed to try, and Niall knew he’d never be free to work things out with Kate until she believed Jocelyn was firmly in his past.

  ******

  “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong, Katherine, or keep me wondering for a few more days?” Trent had always been able to read his daughter. She was hiding something, but he couldn’t figure out what. Kate was an open book most of the time. She didn’t hide her feelings and never played the mind games many women enjoyed. But now she was holding something back and he was determined to discover it.

  “I don’t know what you mean. Everything is wonderful now that you’re here and my memory has returned.” Darn it, Kate thought. She knew her father could see right through her. She’d been trying to keep her feelings for Niall, and the events of the past weekend, out of her thoughts. What had betrayed her? She’d asked this question many times during her life, but this time it was so much more important to keep what had transpired from her father.

  Trent knew a cover-up when he saw one, and Katherine was covering in a major way. Fine, he’d be patient. History told him she couldn’t keep this up for long. She’d slip and give him the opportunity he needed to find out what was eating at her.

  “All right, if that’s the way you want it, I’ll back away for now. But you and I both know it’s simply a matter of time before you realize you can tell me. You’ll tell me because you know I’ll help you through it, no matter what it is.”

  Darn, darn, darn. Well, what had she expected? A confrontation with her father might be inevitable, but she wouldn’t deal with it today. “You’ll wait a long time, because you’re just imagining something.”

  “Is this a private discussion, or may I join the two of you?” Alicia had spent much of the morning baking for Hen and Anna’s anniversary party that evening. She’d known them since they’d arrived in Fire Mountain not long after she’d married Stuart. At one point everyone thought their daughter, Victoria, would marry Jamie. The two had become engaged right before Jamie had left on a cattle drive. But a newcomer to town had convinced Victoria to marry, and before anyone knew what was happening, she and the stranger had wed and left Fire Mountain. Jamie returned to town to hear the news from Hen. There was no message from Victoria as to why. She was just gone. No one had heard much from them after that, other than to learn Victoria and her husband had settled in San Francisco.

  The unanticipated marriage had devastated not only Hen and Anna, but also Jamie. He and Niall argued several times after she left. The arguments, combined with Victoria’s betrayal had pushed Jamie to leave the ranch for New Mexico, and eventually, through the encouragement of Trent Garner, to join the U.S. Marshals Service. Alicia hoped that perhaps the time had come for Niall and Jamie to work through their past differences.

  “Not private at all, Alicia. Katherine has seemed pretty quiet the last couple of days, and I was attempting to get her to share her thoughts.” Perhaps Alicia would join him in trying to get Kate to open up.

  “Well, I’m sure Kate will talk about what’s bothering her when she’s ready, right, honey?” She looked at Kate and smiled, but Alicia also wondered when, or if, the girl would discuss what ate at her.

  “Of course, Alicia, but there’s nothing to talk about. Papa worries too much.”

  “Yes, well, it seems for good reason,” Trent mumbled as he busied himself with packing some of the baked goods.

  “Kate, you sure you don’t mind staying with Beth while I go to the party with Jamie and Niall? I don’t have to go.” Alicia hated leaving Kate, but she suspected the young woman could use some time alone at the house to gather her thoughts and decide her future. No one was sure if she’d stay on as Beth’s governess, or contact the school in California to see if the original position was still available.

  “Actually Alicia, I’m looking forward to some time to myself once Beth goes to bed. I know Drew and Will are planning to stay, so we won’t be alone. Besides, I promised Beth I’d help her work on a vest for riding.” Kate loved Beth and their time together had become more special than she cared to admit.

  “All right then. We’ll be leaving soon and won’t return until close to ten.” Alicia left to finish her preparations. Trent gave his daughter a kiss on the cheek and a meaningful glance before excusing himself to find Jamie.

  Kate sat alone with her conflicting thoughts. She needed to make some decisions, and they needed to be made soon.

  ******

  “What’s going on with you and Kate? The tension between the two of you is crushing, and it’s apparent you’re avoiding each other.” Jamie had always been direct and tended to insert himself into situations that were none of his business. Niall knew those same traits were also what made him an exceptional lawman.

  “Don’t know what you mean, Jamie. Kate is Beth’s governess, so we talk some most days. And about the tension—you’re imaging it.”

  “Hell, Niall, don’t lie to me. I know there’s something going on. If I didn’t know better I’d think the two of you were involved, maybe real involved.” Jamie’s eyes bored into Niall’s, searching for the truth. He knew he was pushing, but something was going on between Niall a
nd the daughter of his mentor, a father figure, and he didn’t want Niall doing anything to damage the relationship.

  “Drop it, Jamie. It’s none of your business,” Niall glared right back at him.

  “Ah, shit, Niall, you’re sleeping with her, aren’t you? You son of a bitch, what are you thinking? She’s Trent’s daughter and you’re bedding her? Does anyone else have any idea what’s going on or am I the only one who’s stumbled on it?” Jamie stood in Niall’s space, his temper escalating as well as his voice.

  “Damn it Jamie, it’s not what you think. I didn’t even know she was Trent’s daughter until Sunday. No one even knew her last name.”

  “And now?” Jamie wouldn’t let up.

  “And now? The truth is Kate can’t stand the sight of me. She puts up with me because she loves Beth, and because there was nowhere else for her to go until she regained her memory. Now that she has, the odds are she won’t stay. It will devastate Beth, but Kate has her life back and will do what she’s got to do.” Niall ran a hand through his dark hair then scrubbed at his face.

  He couldn’t let Jamie know he’d bedded Kate, taken her virginity. Jamie would go wild, and it would accomplish nothing but taint a beautiful young woman whom Niall happened to care about a great deal. It wasn’t her fault he’d sought her out and seduced her. He’d known when he entered her room he could persuade her. Her strong feelings for him had been obvious, and in hindsight, he’d exploited them. What made him even more of a bastard was that he’d thought she was married, and still he went to her. His desire for her had been too strong, his need for her too great. He’d been weak, and given in to those feelings, hurting someone he now realized he cared about deeply, but who might now be out of his reach forever because of his selfish actions.

  “Swear to me nothing has happened between you and Kate, Niall.”