Lost in Time (Forever and Always #20)

by E. L. Todd

  “I’m being serious, Cade. You better give my girl the respect she deserves.”

  “I haven’t bothered her in months,” he argued.

  “Because you don’t talk to her at all,” he snapped. “Hazel is clearly here to stay. I’d appreciate it if you made an effort to get along with her.”

  “She hasn’t made an effort toward me,” Cade argued.

  “I’m really sick of you acting like a five year old,” Flynn snapped. “Get your shit together and grow up.”

  Cade rolled his eyes.

  Flynn looked at me. “Call me if he even looks at you in the wrong way.”

  “Okay,” I said. Honestly, I didn’t care about Cade. I was just sad Flynn was leaving.

  Flynn walked out the door with his bag over his shoulder. I came behind him then shut the door.

  Okay, I wasn’t going to cry. He was only going to be gone for a week. There was no reason to cry. Don’t cry.

  He wrapped his arms around me and held me to his chest. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

  “I know,” I said weakly.

  “I’m going to miss you so much. A goodbye has never been this hard for me.”

  My eyes were welling up. Damn it! Why was I being so emotional about this? Yeah…” I sniffed.

  He pulled away then looked at my face. “It’ll be okay, Hazel.”

  “I know.”

  He kissed my tears away. “You don’t have anything to worry about. I’m yours.”

  “I know, Flynn. I trust you.”

  “That means the world to me.” He kissed my lips, his mouth lingering for a long time. When he pulled away, he released a deep breath. “I’ll call every day. And I’ll see you every night.” A sinister smirk appeared on his face.

  “I look forward to it.”

  He kissed my forehead. “Call me if you need me. I’ll be back in a heartbeat.”

  “I know.”

  “I love you.”

  “I love you too.”

  Without saying goodbye, he walked into the elevator. He stared at me until the doors closed, hiding him from sight. When he was finally gone, I felt the choking sobs emerge. He’d only be gone for a short while, but I was still depressed by his absence. It didn’t make any sense.

  I sat on the floor and leaned against the door, letting myself cry in peace. I didn’t want to walk back in and see Cade. He would make a mean comment about my tears. I decided to stay in the hallway until I finally regained control. When I walked back inside, he was sitting at the kitchen table. His eyes immediately moved to mine. I couldn’t read his expression. I never could.

  “Are you okay…?” he asked.

  Was he being sincere? Or was he somehow undermining me? “I’m fine.”

  He looked back down at his plate and continued to eat.

  I walked into my room and shut the door, too depressed to do anything else.

  The next two days, I didn’t do anything. As soon as I was off work, I went home and stayed in my room. The sheets smelled like Flynn and I lay under the covers and pretended his body surrounded me. I didn’t eat much because I wasn’t hungry. Flynn was busy, so when he called me we only spoke for a few minutes.

  What the hell was wrong with me? I was never the type of girl to be totally distraught when her man was away. But nonetheless, I was. I felt like a piece of me was gone. It was just as bad as when we broke up.

  I watched TV in the bedroom and stayed in bed, falling in and out of consciousness. I hadn’t seen Cade around, but then again, I was never out of my bedroom. And when I was, it was when I was walking out the door to get to work.

  A knock on my door interrupted my thoughts. What the hell did Cade want?

  “What?” I yelled.

  “Can I come in?”

  “No.”

  “Then can you come out?”

  I sighed. “What do you want?”

  “I made dinner. I thought you might be hungry…”

  What? Cade cooked something? He usually ate cereal or leftovers in the fridge. “I don’t have an appetite.” I fell silent and closed my eyes.

  “Are you decent?” he asked.

  “Excuse me?”

  “I’m going to open the door.”

  I was wearing Flynn’s t-shirt and his sweatpants. I was covered but I looked like hell. But that was okay because Flynn wasn’t around.

  He stepped inside, wearing jeans and a t-shirt. He looked awkward as soon as he walked inside. “Um…I made pork chops if you want to try them.”

  I wasn’t in the mood to play nice with him. “I just want to be alone, Cade. But thank you.”

  “You haven’t been eating.”

  “I’m fine.” I lay my head back on the pillow.

  He still stood there. “You want to watch TV or something?”

  What was his deal? “Cade, what do you want?”

  He stilled at my words. “I just…thought you might like some company.”

  “If I did, I would visit my friends.” I turned on my side, facing the opposite wall. I waited for the door to close but it didn’t.

  “Well, I’ll be in the living room.” He shut the door and finally left me in peace.

  What the hell was that? Cade acted like I didn’t exist for months. Now he wanted to share dinner and watch TV? It was odd. Being around his brother, even though they were nothing alike except in looks, made me miss Flynn even more. I was totally lost without him, as lame and pathetic as that was. I used to be strong, but now that he had my complete trust, I was vulnerable and open about my feelings. I decided to call him.

  “Hey, baby,” he answered on the second ring.

  I breathed a deep sigh when I heard his voice. It was so calming. “Hey.”

  “I hate to be rude but I’m working right now. Can I call you when I get home?” Due to the time difference, when he called me at ten, it was one in the morning my time. I was usually asleep. But I didn’t want to argue with him. “Okay.”

  “Alright. Love you.”

  “Love you too.” I hung up. It pleased me that he always said he loved me when he hung up. We didn’t say those words often, but I was glad he wasn’t afraid to say them in front of other people, particularly Carly.

  Hearing his voice put me in a better mood. My stomach rumbled in hunger so I left the bedroom and followed the scent of the pork chops. They were sitting on the stove along with a bowl of rice and grilled vegetables. I had to admit, I was impressed. I scooped the food onto my plate then headed back to my room.

  “You can eat at the table.” Cade’s voice wasn’t harsh and mean like it usually was. He was gentle, hesitant. “You don’t want crumbs in your room, right?”

  I sighed then came to the table. I sat across from him but one seat over so we weren’t directly facing each other. I picked up my utensils but was surprised to see that the knife was useless. The meat was so tender all I needed was a fork. I took a bite and was impressed, again.

  Cade stayed quiet, keeping his eyes to his own plate.

  “This is really good,” I admitted.

  “Thank you.”

  Whoa…he has manners? I’d never heard him be humble or nice. What the hell was going on? I shook my head and kept eating.

  “So…have you talked to Flynn?” he asked.

  Was he trying to make conversation? “A few times. He seems pretty busy. And the time difference doesn’t help.”

  He nodded. “He’ll be back soon. I’m sure he hates being apart from you too.”

  Was he just nice to me again? Weird…

  “Do you have plans tonight?”

  Other than missing Flynn, no. “None.”

  “Well, we can go see a movie or something…” He picked at his vegetables and didn’t look at me.

  After being a jerk to me for months, he ignored me and refused to look at me. Now he wanted to spend time with me? My head was starting to hurt. I didn’t understand why he was being so nice to me, but I guess asking him about it would get me nowhere. I may
as well enjoy the truce for as long as possible. “Sure. I can only lay in bed so long.”

  “What do you want to see?”

  “I don’t care. Honestly, I haven’t been keeping up with movies lately.”

  He nodded. “There’s this romantic comedy that looks pretty good.”

  Romantic comedy? It didn’t sound like something he’d want to see in a million years. And I didn’t care for chick flicks. “How about a thriller or suspense movie?”

  He finally eyed me. “You like that kind of stuff?”

  “My favorite movie is Close Encounters of the Third Kind.”

  “You like sci-fi movies?”

  “Yeah. Why is that surprising?”

  He shrugged. “I don’t know. There’s a new Tom Cruise movie out.”

  “Let’s watch that.”

  “Cool.” He pulled up his phone then looked at the movie times. “There’s one in twenty minutes.”

  I finished my food then pushed my plate aside. “Let me change and we’ll go.”

  “Okay.” He picked up the dishes and washed them in the sink.

  I stared at his back incredulously before I walked into my bedroom. Seriously, what was with Cade? He was a completely different person. I changed and didn’t dwell on it. In five minutes, I was ready. I still looked like hell because I was depressed, but whatever. There was no one to impress.

  We left the apartment then walked to the multiplex. Cade walked with his hands in his pockets and stared straight ahead. Every time someone passed me on the street, I thought it was Flynn. I saw him everywhere.

  When we reached the line, Cade paid for both our tickets.

  Another surprise.

  “Did you want any snacks?” he asked.

  This was getting weirder and weirder. “No thank you. I’m full.”

  “Okay.”

  We walked into the theatre and took our seats. I leaned back against the chair and slouched. Without Flynn around, I really had no vigor for life. The movie finally played and it was nice to be entertained for two hours. I didn’t think about Flynn, except during the romance scenes.

  When the move was over, we walked back to the apartment.

  “Did you like it?” he asked.

  “I did. You?”

  “I thought it was awesome. I don’t like Tom Cruise, but I love his movies.”

  “Have you read American Psycho?”

  “No, but I’ve seen the movie. Why?”

  “In the book, the author has Tom Cruise live in the same building as the main character. It was funny. You’d have to read it to understand the humor.”

  “You read that kind of stuff?” he asked in surprise.

  “Yeah. Why is that surprising?”

  He shrugged. “I don’t know a single girl who’s even seen the movie, let alone read the book.”

  “Well, I guess I’ve always been different than other girls.”

  “Flynn obviously thinks you’re special.”

  I listened for the sarcasm but there was none.

  We walked inside then locked the door behind us.

  “Tom Cruise is going to be on the Late Night Show. Wanna watch?” he asked.

  I shrugged. “I guess.” I sat on the couch and pulled out my phone, hoping Flynn would call me. I kept glancing at the screen, hoping it would light up or ring.

  “You miss him a lot.” It wasn’t a question.

  “I do,” I said sadly.

  He nodded. “He’s a good guy.”

  He actually said something nice about someone else? Astonishing…

  “I remember when he was with Zahara. Those two seemed like they were in love. There was never any problems, and he seem perfectly happy.” I really didn’t want to hear about his ex. “But with you, he’s totally different. You guys are on a whole new level. Living with you guys for these past few months makes me realize how serious this relationship is. I can tell you’re the one.”

  My eyes widened at his words. I didn’t know what he was going to say, but that was the last thing I expected.

  “It makes me wish I had someone who would mope around the house while I’m gone, even if it was only for a week.” His voice carried his despair, his pain. “But no one loves me. Why would they? I’m an asshole.”

  I wasn’t sure what happened to Cade but he wasn’t the man I met all those months ago. He used to be full of himself, having a bigger and more annoying ego then Flynn, and now he was humble and real. It was hard to process. “Cade, everything alright?”

  He shrugged. “Not really.” He didn’t look at me, his face glued to the screen.

  “Well, I’m here if you want to talk.”

  “I know.” He didn’t snap at me.

  I wanted to push him but I didn’t feel it was appropriate. The fact we went to the movies together without killing each other was already a miracle. I didn’t want to end a great night on a bad note. I stared at the TV and kept my thoughts to myself.

  When I went to bed that night, I waited for Flynn to call me. I tried to keep my eyes open so I’d be awake when he called, but I couldn’t. My eyes betrayed me and they fell. The next thing I knew, my alarm was going off.

  I grabbed my phone and saw his missed call around two.

  “Damn.”

  He left a voice mail so I listened to it.

  “Hey, baby. I know it’s late there so you’re probably asleep. I’m sorry I didn’t call earlier. I was just caught up and I didn’t get a chance. I’ll try to call earlier tomorrow. I really want to hear your voice and see your face. Goodnight. I love you.” He hung up.

  I sighed in annoyance then lay back down. At least I got a voicemail from him. Hearing a message was better than hearing nothing at all. I got dressed then headed out to work.

  Cade was in the kitchen, the smell of breakfast in the air. “I made food if you’re hungry.”

  The plate on the table had hash browns, eggs, pancakes, and toast. It was hard to resist. “It does look good.”

  “Then sit down,” he said.

  I decided I could risk being a minute or two late and scarfed down the food. Just like last night, it was good. I didn’t realize Cade was a chef. Cade was home all day, so I wondered if he was working. I didn’t see how. Flynn and I still had no idea what was going on with him. After Flynn asked him a few times, he just gave up.

  “Another day at the office?” he asked as he sat across from me.

  I stiffened at his closeness. I hoped he didn’t notice. “Yep.” I was wearing my pencil skirt and blouse with my hair pulled back. I definitely didn’t look like a dancer anymore, but at least my feet didn’t hurt.

  “You look nice.”

  Did I hear him right? “Uh, thanks.”

  He ate his hash browns then moved onto his eggs. “You never eat breakfast so I thought I would entice you.”

  “Why are you being so nice to me?” I blurted. The words flew out before I could stop them. I assumed this behavior would end after the sun rose, but Cade was exactly the same way as he was yesterday. He treated me like I was a friend, someone he actually liked and respected. I couldn’t understand what had changed him so much and so suddenly.

  He flinched at my words then played with his eggs with his fork. “I just…I don’t know. I’d like it if we could be friends.”

  “Do you want something from me?” I hated to be cold, but Cade was a jerk to me for a really long time. I couldn’t imagine him being sweet to me just because. It didn’t seem real.

  “No…” He stopped eating altogether. He put down his fork. “I just…a lot has happened in my life and I’ve had a lot of reflection. I regret the way I treated you and how I behaved. It was wrong.”

  I was speechless.

  “I see the way you are with my brother, and I know he really loves you. And, I see how good you are to him. You do little things that really make his day. You always put him first and make him smile. You don’t deserve to be treated like dirt.”

  Was this really happening? I hoped
Cade would change but I didn’t expect it to happen in this way. Since we hadn’t been speaking for months, I assumed no change had happened. He hated me in silence and I felt the same way. I guess there was more going on behind that rough exterior.

  “My brother has been good to me even when he shouldn’t be. When my world had fallen apart, he was the only one who was still there for me. I owe him a lot more than what I’ve been giving him lately.”

  Again, I didn’t know what to say.

  “And you clearly mean a lot to him, so you mean a lot to me too.”

  I felt warm inside. The awkwardness stretched between us for a while. I played with my toast but didn’t take a bite.

  “You want to have dinner with me tonight?” he asked.

  “Sure,” I said quietly.

  “Cool.”

  I finished my breakfast then put my plate in the sink. “Thanks for the meal.”

  “Anytime,” he said.

  After I waved, I walked out and headed to work.

  I replayed my conversation with Cade repeatedly. So much had happened and it was hard to believe. Was this really the new him? What happened? When he said his world fell apart, what did that mean?

  When I came home, he was reading on the couch.

  “How was work?” he asked.

  I would never get used to this normalcy. “Good. How was your day?”

  He shrugged. “Fine.”

  “I’m going to shower then we can go.”

  “Okay.” He kept reading.

  After I changed and got ready, we left the apartment.

  “Are you craving anything?” he asked.

  “No. I eat everything.”

  “Well, that makes it easy,” he said with a laugh. It reminded me of Flynn’s.

  We walked into an Indian restaurant. The curry immediately reached into my nostrils.

  After we sat down, we both looked through our menus. With just a single glance, I knew what I wanted. We both ordered and waited for the food.

  Cade rested his elbows on the table and looked out the window.

  I stared at him and studied his face. “Cade, can I ask you something?”

  “Sure.”

  “Why have you been living with us for months?”

  He sighed. “I guess I have to come clean about it eventually…”