Shade: Northern Grizzlies MC (Book 7)

by M. Merin

  Walking inside the building that had been my home for so long, I have to smile at the guys I see as we enter. The single ones always hang near the door, looking for any fresh pickings that may come in on any given night. Their eyes light up as Jessa takes her first look around. I pull her close, narrowing my eyes at them and scanning the room until I catch sight of Wrench. First things first though, I steer her over to the bar to grab some beverages before we join them.

  “What do you want, Rosy?” I ask, getting a glare from her over public use of her nipple shade. “Jessa? Beer?” With her nod, I keep her close and get a pitcher and some glasses. “Stay close to me now, understand?”

  My girl hooks a finger into my back pocket, following my instruction as I push Tanker out of my way to get through the crowd. Amy notices me first and waves while nudging Wrench. Betsy is beside her with Riley perched on Gunner’s lap on Betsy’s far side.

  “Brother,” Gunner nods in my direction but he’s trying to look past me. “Who’s that hiding in your back pocket?”

  “Everyone, this is Rosy,” after setting the pitcher down, I pull her in front of me – taking an elbow to my side. “Rosy, you know some of them but this is Wrench, his Ol’ Lady, Amy. Betsy here is with – oh, that’s Russian coming towards us with more beer and water. Then Gunner and his Ol’ Lady, Riley.”

  “It’s Jessa, actually,” she blushes and smiles at everyone. “Congrats, Betsy.” Jessa nods at the small bump Betsy is resting her hand on.

  “We met last year, right?” Betsy tilts her head at her.

  “Yes, my aunt is with Roy,” Jessa explains. “We ran into you at Molly’s bakery.”

  Russian gets another chair and wedges Amy and Betsy apart, not wanting to be separated from his woman.

  After a moment of silence, Riley decides to start with: “Gunner told me that you two have a son?”

  “Yes,” Jessa smiles shyly, taking another sip of beer. “Danny is just a couple months old. This is the first drink I’ve had since I realized I was pregnant, actually.”

  And with that, the women take over the conversation. Amy talks about her three pregnancies, and the hellions they’re raising. Betsy smiles and adds a little, but I can see the sadness in her eyes from her miscarriage the year before. Russian parks his hand on her belly, as if protecting her and their unborn child.

  For the first time, I hear a few details of Jessa’s pregnancy – her worry over even taking the test, her constant morning sickness, and how her water broke at work, nearly two weeks early. That the Sheriff drove her to the hospital and called the OB/GYN to make sure she’d meet them there.

  Rage shoots through me because that fucker was with her when she was in labor and not me. Ever since I’ve found her again, he always seems to be around and it just pisses me off more and more. Jessa must sense my anger because she turns to me, panic crossing her face. Looking past her, I can see Gunner watching me closely as if reading my thoughts.

  “I’ll be right back, Rosy,” I kiss her earlobe before making my way to the john, needing a moment to get my shit together.

  When I exit, Jasper’s standing in the hallway and motions me back to his office.

  “How’re things?” He asks as I take a seat.

  “Good, I think. I need Roy to back the fuck off me, but good.” I shrug.

  “Roy never approved of having you based here, now you’re in his hen house,” Jas smirks at his little joke. “He’s talked to me. He just wants to make sure Jessa and her boy will be protected.”

  “She’s mine, Pres. Jesus Fuck, finding her? Hearing she had my child? Seeing this tiny thing that looks just like me? That’s fucking everything, Jasper. You have to know that, you have three for fuck-sakes!” I blurt out without filter and he just sits back to study me.

  “Every time I see one of our kids make a move that’s distinctly Emma or me, it’s like the Earth tilts on its axis, Shade. I get it. But that day you asked Flint and me to let you transfer here, you acknowledged what made you different. What you were bringing to the table. That was pretty fucking disturbing, but we granted it. As far as I can tell you’ve been, well, suppressing that lately, so you can understand why some of our Brothers might worry about you exploding?”

  “I’m trying to change, Pres. Been doing good at Gunner’s shop and now, I’m gonna add onto my place. Make it a real home for when Jessa and Danny come live with me. She wants to go slow, and she’s fucking ruling my life now that I came across her again,” I meet his eyes, hoping he’ll see what I’m feeling. That he’ll know this is it for me. “I mean, we had like twelve hours together that night. Started calling her Rosy early on and the next night, after I’d walked away from her I got this ink done. It’s like part of me knew she was mine but I was too fucking stupid to hold on. I’m going to make this work, I have to.”

  “And if she turns you down?”

  “No disrespect, but we all know Emma turned your ass down at first. I just need a fucking chance for Jessa and me to get close without Roy, the Sheriff, and whoever-the-hell-else sticking their nose into our business,” I struggle to keep my voice at an even level.

  “We still don’t know who set you up last year, Shade. What if they come calling instead of trying to hook you with a job?” Jasper points out something that’s been a sore spot with me.

  “Then my Brothers will have my back. They’ll help me protect my woman and child, like I’d do for them.” I give him the only answer that matters. The one that tells him that I live for the MC and she’s part of our family now.

  “I’ll try to get Roy to give you some space. Emma’s having our three baptized soon. There’ll be a party along with it, bring your family so Emma can meet her and your boy,” he stands and smiles for the first time. “Oh, and one other thing, welcome to fatherhood.”

  Jasper walks back out to the bar with me, joining the table long enough to take Jessa’s measure. I know another factor he’s considering is her job at the Sheriff’s station but considering her aunt and Roy, no one can really say anything.

  Jessa

  While the Ol’ Ladies that Shade leaves me sitting with are great company, I know he walked away to cool off. We had never talked about my pregnancy and he didn’t react well to hearing about it tonight.

  While Amy and Riley carry the conversation forward, I can’t help but tense up due to Gunner and Wrench covertly studying me. Before long, Russian whispers into Betsy’s ear and they are suddenly getting up and saying goodnight.

  “She miscarried last year, Jessa,” Amy looks at me. “Russian’s vigilant to make sure she doesn’t overdo it this time around.”

  “I’m so sorry to hear that!” I tend to stay out of the gossip mill that my aunt has her fingers on the pulse of, but now also understand why Betsy was quiet tonight.

  “Rosy?” Shade rejoins us, using that damn nickname again and I think about throwing my beer at him, but no, because…beer. Instead, he just smirks at the dirty glare I give him and introduces me to another guy in a cut. “Jessa, this is Jasper. He’s our President.”

  Jasper nods at me, obviously taking my measure before sitting in the seat Betsy had vacated. Shade sits down next to me and seems to have relaxed again.

  “You okay?” I lean over to whisper in his ear, checking on him once all the guys start talking. He opens his mouth to answer but the music changes and he tugs me away to dance instead.

  “I wasn’t mad at you, Rosy,” he holds me tight as he leads my movements with the song and I lean back to make eye contact, waiting for his explanation while trying to keep up with his footwork. “The fucking Sheriff got to be with you when I should have been.”

  My guilt flares when I realize why he pulled himself away from me earlier.

  “Soon, Shade, I want to ask Ellie to watch Danny for a couple hours. I’ll tell you everything about my pregnancy, everything I was thinking, and then I want you to yell at me. I didn’t keep him from you to be cruel.” I narrow my eyes at Shade when he tries to cut me off. �
�You were totally honest with me. You only wanted a one night stand, and I know Roy could have tracked you down…but, well, I was alone and scared and I had to make a decision. I care about you and we need to get past that. I don’t know what will happen with us but I’m not fragile and I’d rather you get it out of your system, not for you to push your feelings aside.”

  He stays silent but grabs my hips tightly as he moves to the song, leaning down to kiss me before looking over my shoulder. It doesn’t take more than a moment to realize that he’s maneuvering me to a dark corner.

  “What if I don’t want to yell at you, Jessa? What if I want a rough, dirty fuck to get it out of my system?” Shade growls as he grinds his hard dick into me and even through both of our jeans I swear my pussy is throbbing in rhythm with his dick.

  I can’t help the moan that escapes my mouth or the liquid heat that floods my panties. Looking up, his green eyes have darkened, filled with lust and anger. Hooking my arms around his neck, I lean up to whisper in his ear.

  “Do you fuck any other way?” I’m playing with fire and I can’t afford to act on the impulses flowing through my bloodstream. “We can’t Shade, I can’t only think about what I want anymore.”

  “You’ve got me by the balls here, you know that, right?” Sliding his hands down, he cups my ass and pulls me up – my legs instinctively wrap around his hips. “Just so you know, your pussy’s only getting my cock from now on, so you best expect rough and dirty, Rosy.”

  His possessiveness should irritate me; instead, it has my body and mind warring with each other. Pushing myself back, I try to get him to release me. He shifts one hand to the back of my neck before pressing his lips to mine. I brace myself, expecting him to roughly claim my mouth. I could have held myself back from that.

  I’m not prepared for the gentle kiss he gives me. Immediately followed by soft pecks, until he slowly shifts them along my cheek to my earlobe. The tenderness is so unlike him that I have no defense against it. “Not here, Shade,” I moan into his ear, registering the men beyond him who are watching our show. “Please?”

  “I take you home, you gonna send me away?” He growls into my ear. “Or you gonna let me rest my head against your juicy tits?”

  “Roy will be there, so can you keep it PG tonight?” I smile up at him as I release my legs from around his hips and slide down to the floor, enjoying his groan.

  *

  Getting home, I grab the bag for my pump and head upstairs. I have enough bottles to get Danny through the next afternoon but want to do a pump and dump after the beers I had. “Jesus, fuck.” Shade bites out coming into my room after he checked in on Danny.

  “I’ve heard a few beers aren’t bad for the milk, but new mother worries…” I explain. Shade kneels at my feet, his eyes shifting between my face and the bottle that I’m filling.

  “Does it feel good?” He asks, his hands wrapping around my calves.

  “It aches a bit,” I shrug shifting the pump from one side to another. “I’ll probably only nurse Danny for another few months.”

  Before I register what he’s about to do, Shade leans in to lick some drops off the breast I had just been pumping. My back arches towards him even as I bring an arm up to block him. Grabbing my wrist in one hand, his green eyes holding mine, he takes the pump away from my full breast.

  “Please, Rosy. Let me?” His eyes are locked on my breast as he pleads with me and my resistance flies out the window.

  A sigh escapes my lips at the thought of him doing something so intimate and dirty. Taking that soft noise as permission, he leans forward and gently suckles from me. His tongue works to ease the milk from me as he gradually figures out how pull a steady flow from me, but it’s the moaning noise he makes that fires up my blood. Pulling my wrist away from his, I unbutton my jeans and slide into his arms – toppling us onto the floor.

  “I don’t have any answers about us, Shade, but I need you. Right now,” I say, moving to capture his mouth with mine, I taste the sweetness of my milk on his tongue. “Quietly.”

  “Quietly,” he promises before slowly deepening our kiss. He caresses my body, his fingers making their way to my core. “I should have kissed you that night, Jessa. I’m so fucking sorry. From the moment I walked away, I fucking regretted it. Regretted not getting your number, not promising I’d track you down,” he slowly works one of his thick, callused fingers into me, quickly adding a second one, until he’s scissoring them, preparing my body for the girth of his dick.

  I bite my lower lip to keep from crying out. Reaching for his belt, I work to get the button and zipper undone, wanting him in me before my orgasm hits. “Please, please, please,” I repeat until his pants loosen and he draws his fingers out of my wet pussy.

  Rolling on top of me, he slides his thick dick into me while I’m still begging for it.

  Shade

  Jessa’s slick, tight pussy is everything my memories have been tormenting me with this past year. Once I push inside of her, I just stop moving. I guess I thought she’d feel different since having a kid, but she’s still as tight and wet as I remembered. And like last year, she gets frustrated, wanting more and wiggling under me. My girl doesn’t want gentle this time, but that’s what she’s gonna get. I will not be rushed.

  I just need to keep her worked up enough so she won’t notice I’m bare inside her.

  Slowly pulling out, her walls contract around me – as though insisting I stay where I belong. When the head of my dick is back down to her entrance, I shift and lick up more of her milk as it leaks from her breast before I slowly start to fill her again. Never gonna get enough of this sweetness.

  “Shade, harder! I need you to…” she begs, in a louder voice than I’m sure she realizes.

  “Hush now, love. Take what I give you,” I murmur against her lips. Continuing this snail’s pace takes every bit of will power I have, but feeling her tremble around me is worth it. “This? This is me claiming what’s mine. I’m here now, Rosy. I’m fucking here and I’ll never walk away from you again.”

  With my words, she cups my face and holds my head so she can search my eyes. It’s like having my soul examined and I know the only way to keep her is to lower my shields. I pick up my pace a little, while letting her see how fiercely I feel about her, without looking away or any embarrassment at baring myself to her. All those nights I missed her, I swore I’d give her all of me if I ever had the chance.

  I’m no goddamn catch. I enjoy killing too much for that. Only have that GED to hold up to those college classes of Jessa’s. And I tried every drug around before I gave that shit up, now I gotta figure out really fucking fast how to be a family man. But as I keep eye contact with her, I realize I’m not the only vulnerable one here. She’s letting me see inside of her right now, also.

  What I see in her eyes is something I’ve never had much of. I see hope. She wants me every bit as much as I want her and suddenly I want to beat my chest in satisfaction.

  “My balls are getting real heavy, Jessa. Mind if I kick it up a notch?” I smile down at her and get a harsh ‘fuck yea’ in reply.

  Covering Jessa’s mouth with my own, I mute her cries. Wouldn’t do to have Roy run in here while I’m balls deep in her on the bedroom floor. “I can’t hold it,” I whisper harshly against her lips.

  “Cum. I’m with you,” she hisses back. And just as my balls tighten up, I feel the first of her contractions choking my dick and I explode into her. It’s the first time I’ve ever been bare in a woman and it overwhelms me. The possibility of filling her with another child makes me throw my head back and call out.

  So much for being quiet.

  My shout makes her eyes widen, then she tenses up – no doubt realizing that I just filled her to the brim with my jizz.

  “Shit, shit, shit!” She calls out, still coming with me.

  Yeah, I think it’s safe to say she’s onto me. Next, I hear the floorboards in the hallway creaking and she starts trying to shove me off of her.

>   “Stay here, I’ll get you a towel,” Jessa loudly whispers as she grabs her robe. She pulls the door closed behind her and I can hear her tell someone that everything’s alright. Reaching for some tissue, I clean myself off enough to sit on her bed and wait for her. Just as I get impatient, she slips back into the room, freshly showered and with a half damp towel for me.

  “You can’t do that again,” she starts, pointing at my bare dick. “That’s a conversation and not something you just get to decide.”

  “I didn’t plan any of what happened, Jessa. Won’t apologize cause it’s everything I wanted but I don’t want you regretting anything either. Tell me you don’t?” I toss the towel over near the door and pull her into my body.

  “I’m nursing so it’s unlikely I’ll get pregnant, but I wanted you so badly I wasn’t paying attention.”

  “Wanted me that bad, huh?” I smirk at her.

  “Cocky asshole!” She tugs on my earlobe while grinning at me.

  “That’s right. Now I’m just hoping you want me bad enough to let me hold you tonight?” I can’t believe I may have a chance in hell with her.

  She nods slowly, while chewing on her bottom lip.

  “What did you think of my Brothers?” I ask as I pull her down beside me. I don’t know her well enough to understand what it means when she bites her lip, but I’ll keep her talking until she’s ready to spill her thoughts.

  “There were one or two around the clubhouse that I had finger printed before but I was relieved that I didn’t know the guys we sat with from being in lockup,” she smiles as she moves over me to turn on the baby monitor. “That would have been awkward! ‘Hey, did the ink come off your fingers okay? Yeah, sometimes it takes a day or two to wash away.’ I mean, how do you follow up that line?”

  “Funny girl,” I laugh, kissing her forehead as she cuddles into my chest. “Gunner’s record is clean and I think even Michaels would approve of you hanging with Amy and Riley. He ain’t ever gonna accept me though, Rosy. Don’t go expecting that. But Amy was his sister’s best friend so he knows her pretty well.”