Shade: Northern Grizzlies MC (Book 7)

by M. Merin

  “No one’s ever said that to me before, Jessa,” his words rip my heart in two.

  I can’t imagine growing up like he did, and anger like I’ve never felt flows within me. I wrap my legs around his hips and thread my fingers through his silky hair. “I’m here now, Shade. We have things to figure out but I love you, and our boy in there? He’s going to fucking love you, too. You understand me?”

  “Oh, pretty momma, I’m not gonna fight you when you’re all mad and shit,” Shade starts laying kisses all over my face. “You’re the only person who I ever wanted to be better for. Y’know? Not let my temper fly off or to maybe do something different with my life? I see you and I’m happy, I touch you and my heart starts beating faster. Then I hold Danny and I feel calm inside. Like nothing’s ever been wrong.

  “Is that what love is, Jessa?”

  This time there’s no stopping the tears his words bring. Within seconds, I’m sobbing and hear Ellie calling to us from the porch. Waving her off, I hold Shade tighter but say a silent prayer for my parents. I never had any doubt how much they loved me, even when I screwed up.

  Well, there were a few times my mom would yell her head off but then that was it. Dad, on the other hand? He would want to sit down and calmly discuss my behavior – that was sometimes more painful than getting yelled at for a of couple minutes. But to never have anyone who cared if you screwed up?

  “I’m hardly an authority on it and I’m a little biased, but it sounds like it could be.”

  “Don’t cry over me, Jessa,” he mumbles against my lips. “Just don’t give up on me, either.”

  “Take me in to see our son?” I whisper when he ends the kiss.

  “Better warn you,” he puts me down to collect my bag and flowers. “He’s gonna be hungry.”

  That night is as relaxed as it’s ever been between Shade and Roy. With Ellie not feeling great and me just home from the hospital, the two of them order pizza and go to pick it up. Ellie and I just exchange a shrug over their behavior.

  Danny definitely missed me and expresses his annoyance every time I try to put him down. I sleep soundly that night until the early morning hours when I leave bed at the first sound of him fussing. The house is quiet and I find peace in this time with my son.

  Thinking about the conversation with Shade yesterday that continued long into the night, before we finally fell asleep; I think out the pros and cons of moving in with him.

  There are a shit ton of cons. I know the Sheriff warned me about murders that Shade was suspected of, but hearing the words from his own mouth was scary as hell. I’ve also been near Shade when his temper flared up and it’s like an entity of its own. Something I could feel rolling off of him in waves, but it was never directed at me and I could always feel him work to control it.

  There’s one truth that I am sure of though, Shade wants me and is trying to get his life together to make that happen. I sit there trying to figure out how absolutely mental that makes me for excusing his crimes.

  “You alright?” Ellie’s soft voice comes from the doorway.

  “Yeah,” I smile up at her. “Shade and I had some real talks, you know? He wants to make me his Ol’ Lady and for us to move in with him.”

  “I appreciate how attentive he’s been, but I am still worried about how rushed this all is,” she responds after a moment.

  “I get that, and trust me; I remember what you said about me moving in with a guy when I was eighteen. I just have this crazy connection with Shade. It feels wrong when I’m not with him. I don’t know, I’ll talk to him about moving in gradually, but do you mind if he stays with us at night before that happens?” I ask, worried about making her uncomfortable in her own home. “I don’t want to take advantage after everything you’ve done for me and if it’s going to be an issue, we’ll…”

  “I know you’re not thinking of taking this sweet boy away from me!” Ellie’s quick response is accompanied by a smile as she runs her hand over Danny’s head. “When you’re ready to move, we’ll figure out nights that you’ll drop Danny here on your way to work or when you go to parties at the clubhouse. Shade best be home with Danny when he’s not working or taking you out, though. I’ll get after him if he’s expecting me to babysit for him to go off partying while you’re working, but I’m closer to this little guy than my own grandchildren, so you can count on me being around to help you.”

  “That means a lot to us, Ellie,” Shade says from the hallway, startling us both. “I won’t go running around on Jessa. See, even before I found her again, part of me knew she was my girl. That we are connected, like she said. I won’t fuck that up.”

  Ellie walks to Shade and throws her arms around him, giving him a big hug that shocks the hell out of him – if the look on his face is any indicator. “Welcome to the family,” she says before kissing his cheek. “Now, you need to stop swearing in front of your son.” The surprised look on his face quadruples before flashing to annoyance.

  “He doesn’t understand what we’re saying! What is it with you two?” He looks between us, before coming to take Danny from my arms. “They’re a little crazy, my man. They say you’re too young to need the electrical outlet protector things but they seem to think you’re going start cussing if you hear me…”

  I throw my head back laughing as he continues complaining to Danny on his way downstairs. Ellie’s body is shaking with her own quiet laughter. She blows me a kiss before turning back towards her own room.

  Shade

  I get downstairs, still talking to my little guy about how I won’t ground him as long as he never swears at or near his momma or great-auntie. Looking up when I hear Roy bark out a laugh, I nod to him when he offers me a cup of coffee.

  “You’re getting comfortable with him,” Roy nods at Danny in my arms.

  “I’m trying. Any hints you got, let me know?” I keep my eyes glued to my son while I make that fucking hard request.

  “You gonna bite my head off if I do?”

  “Nah, figure you and Ellie are like grandparents to our boy,” I shrug. “I heard about the shit you pulled in your day, man. Trying to make a change myself, y’know?”

  As he opens his mouth to answer, there’s a soft knock at the front door. Looking back at each other, I shrug but am grinning when I see Roy retrieve a gun from the bread box and head up front. Yeah, gotta admit, he’s been protecting my family.

  “Hi! I’m Molly,” comes the most cheerful voice I’ve ever heard. “I heard Jessa got home and wanted to bring some treats by for her.”

  Looking over Roy’s shoulder, I see a curvy woman about Jessa’s age. She has straight, long hair about the same color as Jessa’s and bright blue eyes.

  “Mols! What did you do?” Jessa exclaims, coming down the front stairs, clapping her hands together when she sees the basket the woman is carrying.

  “Oh, sweetie! I felt so bad when Margie told me about what happened. Then Tabby was in my shop yesterday and said that you were released – I baked up your favorites last night,” the woman keeps talking while giving Jessa a one-armed hug.

  While Molly’s distracted, Roy tucks his gun into the back of his pants and takes the basket from her as Ellie is coming down the stairs.

  “You are the best!” Jessa kisses her on the cheek. “I can’t believe you did this! It smells like there’s coffee on, so come in and have a cup with us.”

  As she nods and enters, Molly gets a hug from Ellie before looking at my face quickly, her eyes darting down to Danny in a millisecond.

  “I’m the baby-daddy,” I smirk at her.

  “Shade!” Jessa whisper-yells at me before turning back to her friend. “Shade is Danny’s father and we’re dating now. Shade? This is Molly, she opened a bakery in the square last winter and is absolutely amazing!”

  When neither Molly nor I say a word, Jessa narrows her eyes at me. “Uh, what’s in that basket? Can I try something?” I throw out, not understanding what’s expected of me.

  Roy puts it do
wn on the coffee table before heading out to the kitchen and the ladies start going nuts over everything. Jessa cuts pieces of things off for me, taking advantage of having Danny in my arms – I open my mouth and let her feed me. Sucking or nipping her fingers at every chance.

  “What’s that red one? That’s really good.” I ask, getting a look of disbelief from everyone around me.

  “You’ve never had red velvet cake before?” Ellie gapes at me.

  “No, I haven’t…where the hell would I have had red velvet?” I look over at Roy who’s walking into the room with a few mugs of coffee.

  “Anywhere that has desserts.” He shrugs back at me, not getting that he was supposed to help me out.

  “Fuck, I never had it,” I close my eyes the moment I realize I swore in front of my boy and the ladies again. Shit.

  Instead of busting my balls for that slip, Jessa puts the rest of that cupcake on a napkin in front of me. Looking down, I notice that Danny’s fallen asleep – knowing I wouldn’t be able to swallow anything past the lump in my throat at her offering up the best of the sweets to me. I take him upstairs to put him down. Hearing the women laughing and having fun downstairs, I just go lie down in Jessa’s room.

  *

  I wake with a start, realizing it’s my woman crawling in next to me. I roll over to cradle her.

  “Are you alright?” She asks.

  “I’ve only ever had chocolate or vanilla before,” I confess. “That red stuff was good.”

  “We didn’t mean to make you feel weird. I was thinking…I don’t know your birthday?”

  “Fourth of July,” I nip her earlobe. “When’s yours?”

  “It was the night we met,” she turns in my arms, I start trying to do the math but figure I’ll just snag her license at some point. Facing me, she kisses me gently. “Meeting you was my present.”

  “Good thing I got you that truck then,” her eyes get wide at my comment. “I ain’t no fucking gift, Rosy.”

  “I love you,” Jessa’s eyes narrow at me. “Don’t make jokes about what you mean to me. That isn’t right.”

  “You deserve better than me, pretty momma. But no fucking way am I giving you up.” I hold her head in my hands. “No fucking way.”

  “Molly and I hang out sometimes,” Jessa looks at me shyly. “I had told her a little about you before you and I saw each other again. She’s kind of shy, I know, but today she thought you were great with Danny.”

  “Danny’s great with me. He knows he needs someone in his life that can teach him to pee standing up,” I smirk at her.

  “Jerk!” She rolls her eyes at me.

  “Rosy titties!”

  “Pervert!”

  “Fuck yeah, now you’re talking. What do you want me to teach you?” Our little exchange involves grasping hands, kisses, and me grinding my hard cock on her.

  A guilty look flashes over Jessa’s face and she looks back to make sure the bedroom door is closed before leaning up to whisper in my ear. “I want to learn everything you like, Shade. That thing you mentioned before…”

  “Gonna let me in your backdoor, aren’t you, Rosy?” My words get a groan from her as she nods and wraps a leg around my hip. “Don’t gotta be shy with me. We belong to each other now.”

  “There’s something else I want to try also,” Jessa says shyly. “Not now, with all I ate, but can you teach me how to deep throat?”

  “You’re fucking killing me, you know that, right?” I moan at the image that flashes in my mind. Knowing there’s no way I’ll do either of those things to her in this house. “I’ve never had that before, we’ll figure it out together, alright? We’ll have to take that real slow, you know how thick I am.”

  Slipping my hand into Jessa’s pajama bottoms, I find her already wet and ready for me. Her hands fumble to open my jeans and her lips silence my words of caution.

  My girl reaches over and grabs a condom from the nightstand, slipping it over my cock before she guides my thick dick to her pussy lips and lowers herself down on me. I lay back, folding my arms behind my head and smirk up at her tits as Jessa leans backwards. Arching her back and propping her hands on my calves, she slowly rides up and down.

  I’m in fucking heaven. No other explanation for this, for having a woman like this, taking my sorry-ass and choosing to see the best.

  The buildup in my balls is bordering on painful but she’s determined to keep this snail’s pace. When she sits up straight again, I can see the need in her eyes and carefully roll us over.

  Gently lowering her head to the pillow, I cover her mouth with my own as we find our release. “I love you, Jessa,” I whisper against her mouth. Supporting my weight on my arms, I keep her body covered – sheltered with my own for what feels like hours. “I want to give you everything.”

  Chapter 13

  Jessa

  By the time I get back to work the following week, I’m about to pull my hair out. Everyone is treating me like grandmother’s fine china.

  I’ve brought Danny out to Shade’s house a couple time, we’re slowing organizing the baby’s room while avoiding the topic of us moving in with him. Right now, Shade seems to understand I’m committed but want to ease into this rather than jump headfirst.

  We’ve submitted the paperwork for Shade’s name to be added as Danny’s father and he seems pleased with that, without pushing me to do more right now.

  “Hey!” Amy smiles at me as she walks into the station. “I noticed Michaels’ truck was still here, can I pop back there?”

  Looking over my shoulder at his closed door, I return her smile but put a hand up to slow her down. “Let me just call him,” lowering my voice, I add, “He’s been in a mood today.”

  I’ve barely hung up with him when he yanks his door open and comes striding towards us. But not before making sure to close his office behind him.

  “What’s up, Amy?” He greets her.

  “I just need your signature on getting the electrical work for your apartments on Lake done. It’s more than I usually sign off on and you never showed up at the diner earlier,” she says, handing him a file and a pen.

  “Sorry, it slipped my mind,” he says, but not before his eyes flicker over to me. Michaels is obviously distracted as Amy tries to engage him in conversation about Tabby. Giving up when he hands the file back to her, she heads out.

  “Everything alright, Sheriff?” I ask to his back. He barely grunts before locking himself back in his office.

  *

  Getting home around dawn, I walk in to find Shade on the couch. Flipping through channels while holding Danny.

  “You’re here?” I ask unnecessarily, not expecting to see him.

  “Roy wanted to bring Ellie to that party last night, so she called me,” he leans up for a kiss when I get close. “How are you feeling?”

  “I’m good. How’s our boy?” I snuggle in next to them.

  “He was fussing a bit, so I brought him down here and heated up a Rosy Special – Ouch!” He finishes his sentence with a yell as I yank his earlobe harder than normal. “Jesus, woman. That hurt.”

  “You do not call my breast milk a Rosy Special. Jesus - yourself! You’re making it sound like a milkshake from the diner!” Shade’s eyes flash with humor at the end of my mini-tirade. Before I know it, he’s shoving Danny into my arms and his shoulders are shaking as he lurches off the couch. “Stop laughing! I’m serious.”

  “I need some more, Jessa,” he cups one of my cheeks in his hand, angling my face to look up at him. “Feed my son, then maybe let me have some of what’s left? I can’t get enough of you.”

  “What’s in it for me?” I cock an eyebrow at him.

  “I think you have a pretty good idea,” he strokes a hand over his jeans, letting me see how he’s already getting hard at the thought of me.

  *

  Coming downstairs an hour later, leaving both my guys sound asleep; I get some ice water before going to get some shut-eye myself. I no sooner start upstairs tha
n I hear a sharp rap on the door.

  Turning back, I see the Sheriff standing outside with Smith and Walker right behind him.

  “Hey, what’s going on?” I ask as I open the door.

  “Is Shade Hall here?” Michaels’ asks me, his voice as cold as ice.

  “Yes, let me go…Wait!” I call as he pushes past me.

  “We have a warrant for his arrest. Where is he?” The Sheriff demands.

  “What?!”

  “What’s going on here?” Roy’s voice comes from the stairwell.

  “I have a warrant for Shade Hall’s arrest, where is he?” Michaels’ repeats what he had said to me.

  “What the fuck is this?” Shade asks coming downstairs, the fly of his jeans still open.

  “You’re under arrest for the murder of…” Michaels says the name of the man who assaulted me a couple weeks before and reads him his rights. I’m standing beside them, slack jawed. I just can’t process this.

  “I didn’t fucking do it!” Shade says. The shock in his voice even has Michaels standing up straighter. “Roy, call Jasper. Jessa, I swear to you, I never…”

  “Shush, now, Shade. I trust you.” I get a sharp look from Michaels as I wrap my arms around Shade. “If I’ve learned anything, you don’t say another word without a lawyer.”

  Michaels moves to tug him out the door. “Michaels, he needs his wallet, shirt, and his boots, so wait a minute,” I call. As Michaels reads him his rights and escorts him outside.

  “Meet us at my truck, he should survive that far,” Is Michaels’ reply.

  Looking over to Roy, he’s walking back in from the kitchen, his phone to his ear and I dart upstairs to grab some things for Shade and pull on my pajama pants under my robe.

  “What’s happening?” Ellie calls from her doorway.