Heart

by Higginson, Rachel

  I was just a girl that wanted to be free. And as long as Nix was alive, I would never be free from him.

  I understood Exie’s choice in this moment. Death was better than this. Death was infinitely better than the hell that was Nix.

  With the salty air in my lungs, my power came to life. I felt it everywhere, tingling through my blood and vibrating in my bones. I breathed in the air, but I breathed in the island too.

  This sand was mine. These waves were mine. This ocean that stretched farther than the eye could see was mine.

  My power built and expanded until I was nothing but energy and control, influence and muscle. I was a Siren at my basest, in my very center… at my very core.

  I turned to look back at Nix and I felt on fire with authority. I wasn’t the girl he had held beneath his thumb and manipulated my entire life. I wasn’t the scared victim that ran away and tried to hide.

  I was a worthy adversary that would send him to his watery grave.

  “Let’s go get the sword,” I whispered.

  I will never know if he followed after me because I told him to or because he finally believed I was serious. His actions could have been for either reason or maybe they were for both.

  We took off at a sprint, racing each other for the waves. I kicked off my sandals so I could dig my feet into the sand and find purchase. The beach was warm beneath my feet until it turned cold and wet at the shoreline.

  I hit the waves with purpose, wading through the rough surf with my knees high and the expertise of a veteran.

  My athleticism on land was pathetic at best, but in the water my body instinctively knew what to do.

  I dove over the last wall of waves, when my feet could no longer touch the sandy bottom.

  Nix was directly to my left. His long, lithe body cut through the water without issue. He disappeared beneath the surface of the water and my heart beat with frantic haste to catch up to him.

  I had always kept my eyes shut tight in the ocean before, but instinct whispered to open them. I listened because there was no way I could find the god-killer blind, but I was surprised to learn that I could actually see plainly under the water.

  The deeper we dove, the clearer my surroundings became. I didn’t need the filtered light of the sun; I had some supernatural power that made these depths my realm.

  This was my world.

  The god-killer floated beyond our reach. Its heavy hilt dragged it toward the bottom, but it seemed reluctant to go.

  I kicked my legs and sped through the water. My arms pumped with the effort to beat Nix. I had to swim faster. I had to be better. I had to kill him before he killed me.

  Tropical fish darted out of our way. Bright colored coral made the terrain beautiful and breathtaking. But we kept swimming without paying them any attention.

  Down we went. Beyond the warmth of the sun to the cold depths in their dark wonder. The water sluiced over my body, the temperature only invigorating me.

  When I couldn’t hold my breath any longer, I stopped trying and found that I didn’t need to breath.

  Not here. Not in this place that I belonged.

  It was strange at first. The human part of me wanted to open my mouth and suck in a long lungful, but thankfully instinct and self-preservation overruled.

  Nix stayed with me. His robe billowed around him in the weightlessness of the water and tangled his feet, but his focus was only on the god-killer.

  My gown was just as obstructive. I kicked my legs and tried to work through the folds of fabric.

  Nix’s elbow hit my side and knocked me in a wall of coral. My eyes bulged with the slice of pain as my arm scraped along the unforgiving sea rock. My dress tangled in the abrasive plants and ripped as I pushed off with bare feet, cutting more of my skin.

  Blood trailed behind me, but I pushed harder, swam faster. The sword danced out of our reach as we became increasingly aggressive to get it.

  I pushed him, his fist landed in front of my face and I ran into it. The water barely slowed us down. We could move faster down here. We were born for this.

  The light in the water closest to the surface disappeared completely. We were submerged in the darkest depths of the ocean.

  Without seeing it, I knew the sky churned with storm clouds and lightning flashed ominously far above our heads.

  Nix became increasingly desperate the deeper we dove. He managed to wrap his arms around me, but I wiggled out of his hold before he could do much damage. Using the top of his head, I pushed off and used the momentum to finally grasp the cold hilt of the heavy sword.

  Nix’s hand snatched my ankle at the exact same time. I learned my lesson before and held onto the sword with a permanent grip. I wouldn’t lose it this time. He would have to pry it from my cold, dead hands before I gave it up again.

  I turned around and sliced the god-killer through the water. He let go of my foot to rear back.

  Lightning flashed around him beneath the water. I felt the surge of electricity hit my body, temporarily debilitating me.

  With strength I didn’t have, I kept my hold on the sword. When I could finally move again, I let out a pulse of energy that rolled through the water with devastating accuracy.

  Nix flew backwards, but didn’t stay gone for long. He torpedoed toward me, with legs elongated behind him. His trident lit up with lightning that snapped and singed the water around it.

  He looked like the god of the sea like this. This was Nix at his greatest.

  His face twisted with pure hatred and something deeper, something permanent. He needed me more than he needed anything else.

  But he also hated me. He loathed that he couldn’t take over the world without me. He abhorred his own powers for being weak… for being dependent on patrons. He detested my strength, my absolute control.

  He hated me.

  But there was a sickness inside of him that wouldn’t, couldn’t let me go.

  And I wanted nothing more than to cure him.

  I tried desperately to swing accurately when he was in arm’s reach, but I only managed to hit nick his forearm. The blade cut through his flesh with ease and lethal precision. He dropped deeper into the nameless abyss of the ocean, wounded and reeling. Just as he passed beneath me, I struck at his leg, cutting the length of his thigh, through the tender part of the back of his knee and down his calf.

  I followed him deeper, swimming through the wake of his red blood.

  We were drawing closer to the end.

  He turned over, landing against a wall of coral. His lightning trident flashed forward and struck my shoulder before I could dart out of the way. I felt the burn penetrate my flesh and come out the other side.

  My mouth opened in a silent scream and immediately filled with water. I spit out what I could and swallowed the rest as I gritted my teeth through the searing pain.

  Power somersaulted through my body, hot and dangerous. He pushed off the coral and hit me again, this time in the thigh. I screamed again and tried not to puke from the pain.

  I had never felt anything so intense… so suffocating with its potency. My blood mingled with his until I could barely see him through the thick curtain of red.

  When he raised his arm and struck me for the third time, I felt my consciousness slip. I fell back and fought the darkness of the ocean and the oblivion of the pain. My body floated downward without effort.

  I knew in that moment, as my reality became hazy and my mind wandered to darker places, that this was my realm, but if I lost control, even for a second, this place would swallow me into itself.

  I owned it until I couldn’t. Then it would, without a doubt, own me.

  The feeling grew until it became a palpable force pulling me into itself. I felt the suction take hold of my body and beckon me deeper.

  My body was broken, bleeding until I felt the frigid temperature take root in my core. I started shaking so hard that I was certain the trembling had become seizures.

  Nix appeared above me. He hov
ered there for long moments as if deciding what to do with me. With his lightning trident in one hand I watched the indecision flicker over his face. He could take me now and keep me. Or he could let the water have me.

  He was bleeding too. He was tired of this fight. And yet, he couldn’t give up.

  He couldn’t let my potential power go.

  When he started to come for me again, I knew I had to make a choice too. I could keep fighting this losing battle or I could become what I was meant to become and end this once and for all.

  With my last moment of clarity, I gave into the destiny I had been fighting for as long as I had been breathing. I let my Siren powers take over completely. I became the ancient, terrifying creature that had sunk massive ships and sent thousands of sailors to their graves.

  I became the thing that the gods quaked in fear of and the Fates tried to control.

  I became an evil so great and terrible the sea around me trembled in anticipation.

  My body changed immediately as my mind gave in. My arms became purposed again, my legs stretched and filled out until there was both beauty and muscle unlike I had ever seen. My hair multiplied around me until the fiery red mingled with the floating blood and I could no longer tell the difference between the two.

  I floated into an upright position and stopped falling. I felt energy sizzle through me, taking over, taking control… taking my fate into its hands and deciding what to do with it.

  I wasn’t something the Fates could control or Nix could own. I was free.

  I would forever be free.

  I sped to Nix, meeting him in the middle. His black eyes widened as we stood off. He saw the change in me immediately and didn’t know what to do with it.

  Should he be afraid? Or should he be excited?

  He should definitely be afraid.

  He swung out again with his trident, only this time it wasn’t to kill. He only wanted to maim. He thought he could subdue me.

  But my power told me otherwise. Nothing would ever control me ever again.

  I shifted gracefully out of the way, then again when his second hit came faster and more determined. When he lifted his arms for a third strike, I opened my mouth and whispered, “Stop.”

  My voice traveled through the water and wrapped around Nix completely. His arms paused over his head and they did not move.

  “Is this what you wanted?” I asked him with all of the hypnotic power I was capable of. “Is this the Siren you wished to enslave?”

  “Ivy…” he answered. Apparently he was capable of speaking through the water too.

  “Answer the question,” I demanded. The power reared through me, turning my mind to an abyss of revenge and insanity. I felt lightning spark in the sky above the ocean. I felt my connection to it and the destruction that it could wield.

  “Yes,” Nix whispered. “This is what I wanted.”

  “Be careful what you wish for, Poseidon,” I taunted. “You just might get it.” I swam closer to him, hovering within his reach, but he couldn’t move his arms until I told him to.

  He looked at me softly, as if I were everything he had ever wanted. His eyes danced with lust and longing. His body heat permeated the water, warming my skin and making me sick. “We could rule the world together,” he promised with a deep, melodic baritone. “We could make nations worship at our feet. We could restore our ancient power and conquer kings and Olympus alike. The world is ours for the taking.”

  Madness burned through me and I struggled to find reasons not to have those things. The power promised that they were mine anyway. Men were made to worship me. The world was meant to be ruled by someone as magnificent as me.

  I could have immortality. I could be omnipotent and eternal.

  I could have everything Nix ever dreamed of and more.

  And it would be mine.

  Everything and everyone would be mine.

  “Ivy, this is what I always wanted for us.”

  I stared into his endless eyes and knew that he was telling the truth. Beyond the energy controlling me and him, beyond our Greek natures and his centuries of life and destruction, he was being as honest with me as he had ever been.

  This was what he wanted.

  I was what he wanted.

  I couldn’t listen to it for another second. “Hold still,” I commanded him.

  Fear flickered in his eyes as I raised my arms and plunged the sword straight through his heart. His face contorted with pain as it slowly drained of life.

  Suddenly he was too heavy to hold. I released the hilt and let his body drop to the bottom of the expansive abyss where he would never be heard from again.

  I floated there for long minutes, watching him disappear into a blackness so thick and dark, not even I could see through it.

  I kicked off and shot toward the surface with new urgency. The power that consumed me soured in my system and I fought desperately to tame it.

  It consumed me, turning my thoughts wild and sickening. It wanted ultimate control. The power had killed a god and now it wanted the world.

  My mind became a tangle of sanity versus madness, a twisted dichotomy of morality versus wickedness.

  I wanted blood and death and utter annihilation at the same time I wanted nothing but peace and normal.

  My head broke the surface and I sucked in lungs full of air, hoping to clear my mind and think lucidly. I didn’t find anything but more confusion. The sky flashed with lightning and boomed with thunder. The turmoil in the clouds mirrored the battle I’d fought below the surface.

  I continued fighting my way to the shore. I swam and swam and swam until every muscle was exhausted and my body threatened to give up.

  But I still couldn’t shake the darkness. I had given myself up to a power that shouldn’t exist… to something so malicious that it would make every nation bleed until there was nothing living left.

  I stumbled over a shifting bottom when the shore finally came into sight. The violent waves tossed and turned me until I was choking on the very water that had saved me.

  The ocean spit me onto shore with no ceremony, as if it were as thankful to be rid of me as I was to reach dry land.

  My head hurt as I warred with the power that was taking me in savoring degrees.

  I couldn’t fight this.

  I couldn’t win against this.

  This was too much… too consuming.

  I wasn’t enslaved to this, I was this.

  But then he was there.

  He was at my side. My head was in his lap.

  “Ivy,” he whispered and it was balm to my broken soul. “Breathe, Red. I’m here. I’m with you.”

  And so I did.

  I took a breath.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Warm sun on my face and the tickle of an ocean breeze brought me back to life. Calloused hands wrapped around mine, the faint scent of coconut oil shampoo and my name whispered like a prayer in a gravelly, smoky voice brought me back to myself.

  I blinked up at Ryder’s concerned face and smiled weakly.

  “He’s dead?” he asked immediately.

  I nodded, unable to find my voice to speak the words.

  Ryder’s face relaxed with potent relief. My dried, cracked lips spread into a wider smile. I licked them, tasting the salt of the ocean and the remnants of metallic blood. My tongue tasted the reminders that he was truly dead, the battle was finally over.

  He didn’t say another word. He leaned over me and pressed his lips to mine, taking my mouth in a hungry, desperate kiss. I felt his need to my toes and then again as it surged back to my heart.

  He kissed me in a way he never had before. Or maybe it was just different for me.

  This was my first kiss in freedom. This was my first kiss without the paranoia of looking over my shoulder or the hushed conversations of how we would run away. This was the first kiss of an unapologetic relationship. This was the first kiss in which I gave everything that was me and didn’t feel like I was poisoning Ryde
r with my lips or killing him with my touch.

  This was the first kiss of Ryder and Ivy forever.

  And I loved the taste of it.

  His fingers trailed over my stomach and landed on my hip. He cupped the bone with his rough hand and squeezed.

  I loved the feel of him. I loved his familiarity with my body.

  I loved him.

  When he pulled back there was a smile on his face and light in his eyes. “You nearly killed me.”

  I didn’t tell him how close I’d come to killing myself. “I had to do it.”

  He nodded, the humor draining from his face. “I know. But no more. Please. For my sanity… for my heart.” He took my hands and pressed them to his chest where I felt the steady thump-thump beneath corded muscle.

  “There are no more demons to fight. We’ve slayed them all.”

  We stared at each other until someone cleared their throat behind Ryder. I found Hermes standing not far away. I realized we were still on the beach. Ryder had carried me away from the water, but not far. Hermes looked incredibly uncomfortable as we lay side by side, drinking in our special moment.

  “Sorry to interrupt,” he said dryly. “But we’ll need to go back to Olympus and… fill them in.”

  “No.” Ryder jumped to his feet and pulled me up with him. “There’s no way in hell. We’re not going back there.”

  Hermes looked to me with beseeching eyes. I doubted he wanted to go back to the mountain any more than we did, but he was right. We needed to explain what happened or this would never go away. Olympus would bother me until the day I died.

  “We’ll go with you,” I told the Messenger. “This one last time.”

  “Ivy,” Ryder growled.

  I slid my hand over his roughened jaw and coaxed him to look at me. “It’s okay, Ryder. This time we’re calling the shots. They can’t touch us.”

  His forehead wrinkled with worry. “You’re sure?”

  “Yes,” I answered confidently. “I promise we’ll be okay.”

  He ran a frustrated hand through his hair, but he nodded his consent. “One last time. If we have to.”