Equity (Balance Sheet #3)

by Shannon Dermott

  “Kalen and Griffith,” my mother called from just inside the kitchen door. I was reminded of being thirteen and coming home after a night of debauchery.

  “Ma,” I said, giving her my best grin as Griff and I tried to support each other.

  “Don’t tell me either of you drove.”

  I shrugged. She tsked with fisted hands on her hips.

  “Off to bed with the both of you.”

  We stumbled forward and half laughed, half walked to the top of the landing. Griff walked past my door and to the door where Bailey was sleeping.

  “No,” I called out in a loud whisper, hoping not to wake her up. “The lass is in there.”

  His grin split and he walked backward. He’d closed himself in the other room while I stood looking at the door. If we’d woken her, I wanted to be there if she peeked out her room. To see her sleep musk would be a treat I may never see again. But she didn’t come out, as if she knew I was there waiting. Could she be that disgusted with me?

  My feet spun and I closed my own door. I fell on the bed and gave in to the sleep that called to me. I knew once my eyes closed I would dream of a lass made of fire and a sexiness I’d never experienced before. It hadn’t mattered what distractions I’d allowed myself; I couldn’t get her out of my head.

  Not too long later, off in the distance, I heard my name. I closed my eyes trying to cling on to the dream where angels lived and one died by the sword. A lass a blaze of light stood reaching a hand out to me as if asking me to stay as well. Urgent calls of my name sucked me from the pleasant place where dreams did come true.

  When I recognized the voice as that of my mothers, I regretted not staying at a hotel. What, was I five that I needed a wake-up call? My eyes blinked against the light that streamed through the uncovered window. The room I created in my mother’s house for myself was a master suite. It was large and had an attached bath. I wasn’t supposed to feel like a child here.

  “Kalen.”

  “Yes,” I called back in annoyance. My mother was no doubt on the other side of the door. “Your plane arrived.”

  Shite, I muttered. I reached for my phone on the nightstand. It was dark and lifeless. Fergus or my pilot had probably called the house when they hadn’t reached me. I scrambled to my feet and snatched my pants I’d let drop on the floor before falling into bed.

  “Is Bailey up?” I called out.

  No answer. I moved to the door. When I opened it, I caught my mother’s pensive gaze. I narrowed my eyes. “What it is?” I asked tentatively.

  There was something in her eye that said I wasn’t going to like the answer she was about to give.

  “She isn’t here,” she answered cautiously.

  Even though I held no anger for the woman before me, I felt my features tighten.

  “What do you mean? Did she go meet the plane by herself?”

  She shook her head.

  “What?” I yelled and regretted it when she jumped. “I’m sorry. Just tell me.” The Gaelic language never felt so foreign to me as it did in our exchange. My heart beat erratically, waiting for her to tell me that Bailey had been taken again.

  Her sad eyes met mine and I braced for what she was about to say. And how I would explain it to Turner.

  “She left yesterday.”

  I frowned. “Left,” I muttered because I was confused.

  “She didn’t want to sleep here. Ennis took her to the inn next to the airpark.”

  I didn’t know if I should be relieved or annoyed. I’d pushed her away with my erratic behavior. She didn’t feel safe under my roof. I closed my eyes and scrubbed a hand down my face.

  When Griff lurched out of the room across from mine, I had a sudden thought. What if she got to Turner and convinced him to take her away? Pain lanced through my chest. Never seeing her again was a burden I didn’t want to harbor.

  “Let’s go,” I commanded. I kissed my mother’s cheek hoping for forgiveness before I made my way down the stairs.

  We made it to the private airpark in record time. Turner was inside the building with a bleary eyed lad.

  “You made it,” I said to Turner. Then I turned my attention to the lad.

  “Where’s Fergus?” I asked, reverting back to Gaelic.

  In a squeaky voice that should have left the lad years ago, he answered, “Family emergency.”

  I almost asked why the lad was afraid when I caught sight of Griff standing off to my other side. Including Turner, three of us towered over the boy and made an imposing presence. I tilted my head to the side to get Griff to give us some breathing room. Being used to nonverbal cues, he easily understood and gave us some space.

  “Do you know how to take care of the paperwork?” I asked.

  The lad nodded and I saw Turner’s passport on the counter before him. “Alright then, I’m going to talk to the pilot.”

  I strolled passed Turner, not ready to speak with him until I had Bailey near. Outside, I found the pilot doing a flight check. We talked briefly before I pulled out my phone, having used a rapid car charger on the ride over. I looked up the number for the inn next door and got voicemail.

  With purposeful strides, I walked back into the main building. I searched for the kid. He looked up when the bell jingled over the door. I said, “Who’s overseeing the inn?”

  He shook his head like he hadn’t understood my question. I couldn’t remember if I’d spoken English or Gaelic, but the lad should have understood either if he was Fergus’s backup. “Who’s seeing to the inn,” I asked again.

  “No one,” he stuttered. And I had to wonder about the expression on my face. I’d scared my mother this morning and I was doing it again with the boy who stood before me.

  “Isn’t there a guest?”

  He shook his head again and I had the urge to wrap my hand around the lad’s throat. I spun and strode out the door, trying to calm myself. My first call was to Ennis. He assured me he’d dropped Bailey off here last night. Fergus had been finishing up with Angus before he left. Angus ran a small plane operation shuttling people who could afford him between the isles. Fergus was going to walk Bailey over to the inn himself. My head began to spin an idea. I knew Angus and had used him before my father died and I got control of the plane.

  I had a sinking thought I didn’t yet want to accept. I headed out the door and briefly looked over my shoulder when the door didn’t immediately close behind me. Griff came out. His expression said he smelled trouble.

  “Where’s the lassie?” he asked in a low tone. Somehow he’d figured out that I didn’t want Turner to know. Maybe Turner had introduced himself to Griff or asked about Bailey.

  “Can you check the inn for me?” Although I trusted the lad, I needed to make sure. He nodded and stalked off.

  My next call was to my security team. I wanted them to start tracking her. I stepped into the building, continuing to ignore Turner. I wasn’t sure how much longer his patience would last. I walked up to the counter and hoped I’d smoothed out my frown lines.

  “Do you have Angus’s number?”

  “Sure,” the lad said. He pulled out a binder and flipped through it.

  Turner walked over to me. I wasn’t ready for his question. “What’s going on? Where is Bailey?”

  “Here it is,” the lad said, pointing to a number on a page of paper protected in plastic. The binder looked like a manual of sorts, or maybe somewhere all the important information was stored in hand’s reach.

  I ignored Turner and began to dial. I walked back outside when the phone rang. I knew I didn’t have long. Turner would follow. He was showing more tolerance than I’d expected, but I was sure he’d run out of that.

  “Angus here,” the voice on the line was answered.

  “Angus, this is Kalen.”

  “What can I do for you?” he spoke with the lilt of the Irish.

  “Did you ferry a woman last night that you picked up from here?”

  He cleared his throat before answering. “And why m
ight you be needing to know?”

  What had she said to gain his loyalty? Because I knew by his evasion, he had taken Bailey somewhere.

  “Because she’s mine,” I gritted out. Angus was an acquaintance. I shouldn’t be burning bridges over a woman.

  “Well now,” he began. “I did bring a young one back to Dublin with me. What did you do to scare her away?”

  “Please just tell me where you dropped her off.”

  We played cat and mouse for a few more minutes before he finally gave me the name of the hotel he’d left her at. I was in the middle of sending that information to my team when Turner stepped in my line of sight.

  “Where is she?” he asked.

  Chapter Twenty

  The mirror didn’t reflect me. The sadness that leaked from my eyes did nothing for the grim curve full of fake cheer that was planted on my face. Yet it was my reflection.

  I took in the black and wondered if it would ever come out. The hair dye that Kalen had brought for me to the community had come in handy. He’d put it with my things in the hotel before we left Virginia. I found use for it.

  If someone was searching for me, they would be looking for a redhead that I was no longer. It was weird how much more I looked like my sisters Violet and Mary once the flame of my hair had been muted out. The fire had been smothered by the black dye leaving behind the sooty embers of smoke very much like my heart.

  After one last look, I strolled out of my room, having gotten the bill under the door showing what would be charged for the room on the credit card they’d swiped the night before if I didn’t formally check out. I set out into the day with no destination in mind other than getting as far from this place as possible. With nothing but time, I didn’t bother with a taxi. I walked and walked and walked.

  Only after my feet hours later burned for relief did I finally stop at a café down a small one-way street. There had been a larger more crowded one on the corner. However, even with anonymity, I was drawn to the smaller one about halfway down the block.

  They served coffee, which was a surprise to me. I sat at a table closer to the front in a corner near but not in front of the picture window. With the warm mug in my hand, I tried to think about what to do next.

  Last night, I’d called Lizzy. She had been frantic with worry and wanted me to go back to Kalen if nothing more than for my protection. After I told her the story, her indignant tone only confirmed her words of agreement that I was right for leaving his ass.

  She’d said, “How could he be so cruel? He has to know how you feel.”

  I shrugged and it took a moment to remember she couldn’t see me. “He has a right to be with whoever he wants,” I’d said.

  “Whatever, he’s an ass.”

  I heard my sister in the background echoing her words. “Who’s an ass?”

  Lizzy must have silenced her with the promise of sharing details later because Violet went quiet. A part of me was a little jealous that two of the people I cared about most had each other, while I was alone in a city I’d never been in without a plan.

  While I could have asked to talk to Violet, I wasn’t prepared for a lecture about Turner. I would hear a thousand I told you so’s and how I crushed a guy who deserved much more. Yet, I hadn’t crushed anyone yet.

  “I left Tuner a note telling him to call you. When he does, tell him I’m in Dublin. I’ll try to get a prepaid phone or a SIM card for my phone so that I can accept calls. I’ll get you the number when I have it.”

  “Sure thing, babe. You better stay safe or I’ll hurt you.”

  “Tell Violet I’ll talk to her later. I hope she enjoys New York.”

  “Of course she will. She’s with me,” Lizzy had said before I’d hung up the hotel phone.

  That international call on the hotel line was going to cost me a small fortune, but I had little choice. At least it had been the last transgression I put on my credit card before I lost myself in the city.

  When the memory faded, the small café came into focus. It was just big enough for six small tables in a sort of messy C-shaped formation. The barista bar was right up front. Despite the popular competition on the corner, the place was filled, the language lively. I gathered that all of the patrons except myself were locals.

  As I sat with nothing else to do, another memory assaulted me with so much force I could almost feel and taste it. If I had risen on my toes and kissed Kalen like I had wanted to while he trapped me in against the outside wall of the bar, what would he have done? And what about Turner? Was it right to stay with a man only because of guilt? I loved him, I did. But was that love enough while my heart burned for another?

  I felt as disingenuous as my hair color. What had we been taught growing up? Do unto others as we would have them do to us? And hadn’t I failed that test enough to know karma had come to bite me on the ass? I should have stayed home and lived a simple life with Turner. I would have never known the hurt that I felt now thinking of Kalen with Keely or any other woman.

  Pools of my own pity filled my eyes. I took a napkin from the dispenser on the table to blot my eyes before I brought attention to myself.

  A regal woman in an apron wearing an approachable smile walked distinctly in my direction. When she sat, I wasn’t completely surprised as she looked like she was missionary kind eyes and a pure soul.

  She held out a mug. “You look like you need a fresh cup.”

  She’d taken my order earlier. I smelled the coffee and felt the steam on my hand from the cup as I took it.

  “Thank you,” I said, understanding instantly why this place wasn’t empty. It wasn’t just the delicious cup of coffee or whatever anyone was drinking. It was the service.

  “I don’t mean to pry,” she began.

  I held up my mug, letting her know that the hot drink that replaced the now cold cup I’d been holding earned her a question or two. I couldn’t imagine she’d ask anything terribly personal.

  “You look like you’re in need.”

  I set the cup down to survey myself. Did I look homeless? One glance down at the bag at my feet had to be the dead giveaway that I wasn’t just browsing the streets of Dublin.

  “And don’t take it the wrong way. I just wonder…”

  She was cut off when someone yelled out a name that must have been hers. She gave me a faint smile. “I have to take that. I’ll be back. I hope you’ll be here.”

  I nodded, although I had an uncomfortable feeling like maybe I should flee as soon as she turned her back.

  Twenty-One

  Turner’s anger had simmered to a boil on the ride home.

  “What do you mean you don’t know where she is?”

  Griff, ever my protector, jumped in. “Hey dude, he told you the name of the hotel she stayed in.” If I wasn’t agitated, I might have laughed at his American accent when using the word dude.

  “Yeah,” Turner began. “But he also said they rang her room with no answer. Which means, she’s probably not there anymore.”

  Griff sighed. I took over. “My security team is on it.”

  Tuner gave a humorless laugh. “She was supposed to be safe with you.”

  I parked in front of the house. Turner hopped out and stomped towards the door. My mother opened it, no doubt having heard us pulling in. She greeted him as she did everyone. And thank God for Turner’s sake he was gracious in greeting her.

  “He’s some peace of work. Who is he?” Griff asked in Gaelic before we exited the car.

  “He’s the he that Bailey chose.” I didn’t stay in the car because I didn’t want to answer anymore of Griff’s questions.

  Inside, after greeting my mother and ensuring her forgiveness for my earlier behavior, I motioned Griff over. I said to him outside of hearing distance of Turner, “Help get him settled. I have to make a run. I’ll be back soon.”

  I ignored Griff’s questioning gaze and Turner’s reproachful stare. I headed out with purpose. There was something I needed to do.

  On t
he drive, I went over in my head all the things I needed to say. In the end, Keely was like family. She was like a sister and didn’t deserve how I had used her over the last day. If I could at least set things right with her, some of the burdens would be released from my chest.

  My knock on her door was not causal. She didn’t immediately answer either. I waited a moment before rapping again.

  When the door opened, Keely stood in a robe that looked just pulled on. Her hair was a cascade of waves over her shoulders.

  “JK,” she said dryly.

  “All play and no work,” I teased in Gaelic, trying to break the ice of tension.

  She smiled before it turned into a scowl. For a minute, she’d forgotten to be mad at me.

  “What do you want? Are you here about me not being at work?” She didn’t give me a chance to answer. My whole prepared apology was going to waste. “It’s not like they respect me there. They think the only reason I have a job there is because they assume we’re fucking.” She said the last with so much distaste, I stepped back as if slapped.

  “Keely,” I began, going to try to start anew with my prepared speech.

  “It doesn’t matter. I don’t need or want anything from you. I quit.”

  I opened and closed my mouth several times before I could speak.

  “Puss,” a voice from inside the apartment said.

  If a guy in a Darth Vader suit had stepped up and stood next to her I wouldn’t have been more surprised.

  “What?” I asked out of confusion because I knew the man who stood there with a proprietary hand around her just shy of the underside of her breast. Her robe began to open as the hastily tied belt loosened. On instinct alone, my eye followed the parting material as it fell open. I shook my head because it was Keely who stood there with nothing under the robe but skin.

  “What?” Keely spat. “What do you think? He gave me what you weren’t willing to.” The accusation hit me like a punch to the gut.

  “It was just yesterday and you called him over? Why do you even have his number? Have you forgotten…?”