Equity (Balance Sheet #3)

by Shannon Dermott

  This distance was tearing me apart. I had to convince her to move back to New York. The thought of her and my unborn child consumed me every waking moment. After stepping into her apartment trying to persuade myself that lying next to her would be enough until morning, she stepped out of her room.

  It was like an electric jolt hit me. Its magnetism attached to her too. Suddenly we were moving in each other’s direction without words. She wore a fluffy white robe that covered far too much of her skin. The flimsy tie that held it closed was no match for my hands. I had it undone before her mouth parted.

  Stopped with my kiss, she wasn’t able to say a thing while I allowed my hands to explore what I hadn’t yet seen because I needed her taste in my mouth.

  “Kalen,” she pleaded pulling back. Her voice was breathy, and damn if that didn’t send another jolt to my cock.

  One of my hands overflowed with her breast clad in what felt like a silky bra. As promised by pregnancy, her tits were getting bigger than the perfect handful they’d been before. My other hand trailed a path to what promised to be a matching bottom to the top.

  Two things happened that stopped everything.

  “Kalen wait,” Bailey cried.

  A figure emerged from her bedroom. The guy, because it was a male, had a towel pressed to his head. It looked as though he was drying his hair from a shower. However, the bathroom was down the hall and Bailey had also come from that room.

  I stepped back and got a view of what lay underneath her robe. She was clad in a blue underwear set. It was sexy as all hell. I stared at her, then I glanced at him. He’d stopped and I gripped the fabric of her robe closed.

  “Kalen,” she begged.

  Fury was an ugly whisper in my head. Yet it wasn’t anger that fueled it, it was fear. I couldn’t articulate that. And why would I? Never show fear, especially around another man.

  “It isn’t what it looks like,” Bailey said calmly.

  A dark almost wicked chuckle escaped me. “And what does it look like?” I pointed at the other guy, who held his hands in a pleading fashion, the white towel crumbled in one of them. “It looks like you came out of your room dressed like that.” I gave her an appraisal over her now covered body. “It looks like he came out of your room after having showered. But the shower is that way. That’s what it looks like.”

  One step back and Bailey was out of my reach. She fastened her tie quickly, assessing me. Then her face scrunched up and she spoke. “You don’t trust me.”

  I was two seconds from saying the obvious. But that wouldn’t have been the truth. The truth was I did trust her. I didn’t think she’d cheated on me as much as my temper outwardly said otherwise. I was more afraid that he’d come back to convince her to be with him.

  “What am I supposed to think?” I uttered because I couldn’t come up with the right words.

  “You’re not supposed to think I’m cheating on you. I never cheated on you.” There was a lot of conviction in the last few words she said. It was technically true. She’d never cheated on me or him that I know of. So what was the problem?

  “I don’t think you cheated. What I think is the two of you have history. And I don’t think he’s here to congratulate you on us being together.”

  “Why don’t you just ask me why I’m here,” Turner suggested.

  “Fine, why are you here?” It was a dumb question. I knew why. He’d heard the news and most likely he wasn’t up to date.

  “I’m here because I got a letter from Bailey that she was pregnant.” Bingo. I knew that.

  It was my turn. “And now you know that the Lass is carrying my wee bairn.”

  Turner boldly stepped forward, having dropped his hands to his side. “That’s yet to be seen.”

  “She is ten weeks pregnant and it was eight weeks ago when you two…” I couldn’t say it. I didn’t need to though. We all knew of the event to which I was referring.

  “It still could be—,” he began.

  I cut him off. I had to get this straight. And I wanted to set the stage to let him know I wouldn’t be walking away from my kid like my father did me. “Fine. When the babe is born, we’ll do a test. That will put all our minds at ease. And when it’s mine, you can count on me being there every day.” I said this as much to him as I did to her because I knew it was mine.

  Bailey stood there with her mouth hanging open.

  “And that’s it,” Turner said with a wave of his hand then let his eyes glance between us.

  “That’s it.” I said. When he made no move to go or leave, I continued. “Let’s face it. You want her to be the one. You want it so bad you can taste it. But she isn’t the one. And not because of me. You had a chance. When she left for college no matter that she didn’t tell you. You could have gone to her, fought for her. You didn’t. In Scotland, I tried to tell you where she was. You’d won. But you didn’t go. I’ll give you that she ran. But if you felt it like I did, and it was within your grasp, you would have reached for it.”

  I couldn’t say where all that relationship advice came from. Yet it was the truth.

  “So you went to Dublin after her?” He cocked a brow at me, calling bullshite.

  “No. But only because she had chosen you. If I’d been in your shoes, I would have been there.”

  Turner deflated. His shoulders sagged. I wasn’t exactly sure if it was travel fatigue or if he’d accepted what I said. “So now what?”

  I sighed. “Since I actually like you, I won’t kick your arse. However, you do have to go. Three is a crowd. I can set you up in a hotel?” I offered.

  He shook his head. “Fine,” I said. “Bailey, go put that trench coat on.” I flashed her a wicked grin. She had to know I was talking about the one she wore to my office the other day. “You stay here and we’ll go to a hotel. We have things to work out.” My eyes were all for her when I spoke.

  “You two behave,” she said before heading to her bedroom. I was actually surprised she didn’t put up a fight since she was angry earlier.

  Once the door to her bedroom closed, Turner sank onto the sofa. “What if the kid’s mine?” he asked, staring me straight in the eye.

  “I would never come between you and your bairn. Just as I would expect the same from you if the situation was reversed. It doesn’t matter if Bailey and I are together or not, neither heaven nor hell could keep me from my wee ken.”

  His expression changed to one of respect. “You know when I got her letter, I left. I headed for the nearest airport. Once I was able to retrieve my e-mails, I had one from an architectural firm that had been recruiting me. They were hoping I was still available. At seemed like it was meant you know. They had a deadline that connected with the day I got the message. I blindly accepted. I knew they worked a lot with Habitat for Humanity. I accepted because I wanted to be able to provide for my kid. Now…”

  “When do you start?” I asked, cutting him off. He needed a purpose. This would keep his mind off my girl.

  He scrubbed a hand over his face. “I start in two weeks. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to go home. I can’t stay here… Is Griff still around?”

  “Looking for a bromance?” I baited with a laugh, thinking about Griff and his use of international slang.

  Turner chuckled. “I’m running short of friends these days.”

  A thought hit me. “What about Matt?”

  He glanced my way as I pulled out my phone. It seemed my friends were ever expanding with Bailey’s friends. Plus it was late and waking up Matt just might make up for my crappy day. Rousing him from slumber became as our thing when I visited Bailey late at night. Each time I showed up, he had to get up from sleeping on the sofa to open the door for me. He’d never been pleased to see me, especially when he admitted to hearing what we were up to.

  That solidified our weird friendship. Matt was cool, easygoing, and so was Turner. After Matt’s growl for the late call, a plan was formed. Turner would head to Chicago in the morning and help Matt search
for Mike, Violet’s ex. Matt was looking through case files and doing Internet searches during his free time. Turner would help while Matt was working.

  Bailey came out, surprised and suspicious we weren’t at each other’s throats.

  When we were ready to go, she turned to me. “Can you give us a minute?”

  I nodded. I stepped inside the kitchen and poured myself a glass of juice. I tried not to pay attention to how close they were. They were friends, I told myself before the glass could break in my hand.

  “You take care of yourself,” she said softly. “I wish… I wish things could be different. You know I’ll always love you. I just hope you find a girl who gives you a total mind fuck.”

  They smiled at each other in a way that showed how much they cared for each other. Lucky her, I didn’t go all Hulk jealous. The look she gave him was different than the one she normally gave me. His hand moved up and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. The glass, slick from the cold juice and heat of warm air, nearly slipped from my hand. I fumbled and managed to maintain hold before it shattered on the ground.

  “I want what you two have. I want someone to look at me how you look at him. And he was right. I wanted that girl to be you.” He pursed his lips. “I wish you both well. And if he fucks up, you call me and I’ll come running.”

  “I heard that,” I muttered, unable to contain the words.

  He laughed, a full belly one. “I know you did. So don’t fuck up. She’s the best thing you’ll ever have.”

  “I know.” My words were flat. The ache of almost losing her wasn’t quite gone.

  By the time we got to the hotel, I didn’t waste time.

  “I have to have you Lass. I need to be inside you before…” My words drifted off, because there was only a coat and a slip of fabric between her and me. That didn’t take long to overcome. I’d slid inside her with no fanfare. She’d teased my cock, stroking me through my pants on the ride over there. I’d had my fingers buried in her, only to taste them when we arrived.

  “Fuck me, Kalen,” she cried out as I pushed her back on the bed. Her hair fanned out around her. I watched my dick slide in and out of her, coated with her wetness.

  “How do you want it?”

  “Hard, fuck me hard.”

  I pulled out and flipped her over. She barely had time to squeal when I sank back inside her. I thrust with as much force as I could. The bed took the brunt. I squeezed her hips and leaned down from where I stood on the edge of the bed.

  Still inside her and not moving, I said, “Do you want to come?”

  “Yes,” she panted. “Please.”

  Unable to resist, I bit her shoulder lightly as I gave her a few shallow thrust. “And what do I get?” I asked, trying to ward off the explosion that wanted release. I wasn’t ready to come yet.

  “You can have anything you want,” she begged.

  “Anything,” I said darkly.

  “Anything, please…”

  I pushed my thumb slowly in her arse. “Can I have this?”

  “It’s already yours.”

  It was true. I had it before. Still, I didn’t want to assume.

  “Yes, yes, yes you can, please.”

  Her begging was enough. I moved my other hand from her hip in between her folds to the nub that would push her over. I wasn’t sure she needed that extra help, but there was no stopping me.

  I lost my rhythm when my balls tightened. I came with a jerk and a grunt. I slammed home a few more times until I lay on top of her, panting as her release continued to milk me. I lay there for a second longer before I rolled off of her. The sensitive head of my cock caused another wave of sensation when I slid out of her.

  I pulled her on top of me, enjoying the connection between us. “Move in with me, Lass.”

  “Kalen, we’ve talked about this.”

  My fingers make lazy circles on her back as I spoke into the crook of her neck. “It’s not just me being a shite. When I walked in and saw Turner, I thought maybe I’d lost you again. And if that wasn’t bad enough, I thought I might only see my kid every other weekend. I don’t want to be a weekend da.”

  “I would never stop you from seeing our child.”

  “I know. But if you’re here and I’m in New York. How is that going to work?” She looked away. “There’s something else,” I added.

  Slowly, her body heat left mine. It may have been the tone of my voice that caused the alarm on her face.

  I let the back of my finger stroke her cheek. “There is something you should know about my past.”

  “Go on.”

  My words took me back to a time and place I would rather forget. “When my mother left America and took me to Scotland, I could barely speak the language even though I understood it. It was there but locked away inside. I remember we went to my grandparents’ house. My grandmother fed me while my grandfather raged to my mother about her choices. I was surprised we were eventually sent away the same night. We ended up in a part of town where people did what they had to do to survive. I spoke English with an American accent and was dressed in fine clothes. I didn’t understand this until other’s made it clear that a rich American kid wasn’t accepted there.”

  A flood of memories nearly chocked me. I paused, trying to compose myself.

  “An older boy, one with a foul mouth and a fist to match it, let me know just how welcome I was.”

  Her hand gripped my shoulder as if the memory pained her.

  “That’s when I met Griff. Who knows if I would have survived that beating if Griff hadn’t come and gotten the crap beaten out of himself to stop them from kicking me while I lay in the dirt with my blood staining my shirt and pants?”

  “Oh my god,” she gasped.

  “I survived. And when my mother asked what happened to me, I didn’t tell her. I’m sure she guessed because she ended up trading in all the clothes I’d come with for crap ones.”

  “What did you do?”

  With a half laugh, I said, “I grew hungry, literally and figuratively. I did whatever I had to do to toughen up so I wouldn’t have to endure the abuse longer than necessary.”

  “What was done to you?”

  “A lot of things I rather not remember. I think after living with Thomas and having to take blows for my pestering him, I come to expect being hit. Being hit by anyone else including Sandy wasn’t as bad.” Before she could think that I’d been beaten up by a girl, I clarified. “Sandy was the guy who basically ran the streets, at least for us wee ones.”

  “Oh,” she said. And I knew she needed that clarification. “What did you do on the streets? Your mom mentioned you’d gone to jail.”

  “I did what I had to do to survive and eat to live another day. I won’t apologize for it. I tried to pick my marks as the ones who looked like they could live with a loss.”

  I paused trying to think how to explain about jail. “My mother didn’t complain about our lack of money. I tried to man up and do what I could to bring home food when I knew she didn’t eat so I could. One day I came across a notice that said things like our electricity would be shut off due to non payment and another one from the flat manager demanding rent.”

  It felt fresh even though it was years ago.

  “By that time, my memory of the states was somewhat diminished. But Sandy never let me forget where I came from. Anger that my father who had more than enough hadn’t bother to help us in any way made me feral. I devised a scheme. What better mark was there than my father. He had an office. It was late after hours when I showed up demanding to see the man. I didn’t think he was there. I was just the distraction as Griff went in and hauled out some computer equipment we could resell.”

  When her face did turn to disgust, I finished. “The police hauled me from the streets armed with my name because I’d given it to the security guy. Some part of me wanted to be caught I guess, plus it was the excuse why I demanded to see my father. They also had a grainy video of me. When they asked who my accomplic
e was, I lied and admitted that it was me that had gone in and stolen he stuff. I never told them about Griff. My father must have gotten word and dropped the charges.”

  “Is that when he contacted you?”

  “No, but it wasn’t so long after.”

  She looked more concerned than anything else and I loved her all the more for it.

  “Did you stop after that?”

  I hadn’t specifically told her all I’d done except for fighting and steal from my father. “I had more fights with Sandy until the day I caught him and his gang about to rape Keely.”

  The quick intake of air suggested that even though there wasn’t any love lost between her and Keely, she wasn’t heartless either.

  “Keely was always there hanging around and wanting to be like Griff and me. He’d become my best mate. We were inseparable. And she was the annoying little sister I was supposed to watch while my mom and hers tried to feed us both on meager tips and wages.”

  I paused in reflection, hating myself over again for what I’d done. “My mom got called into work unexpectedly one of many times. That day she told me to watch Keely because her mom was working that night too. I had other plans. Griff and I were going to meet a couple of lasses from school. Keely being the hardhead she is, didn’t stay at home. She followed us. When she caught up with us, I told her to wait in this abandoned building nearby, not wanting to walk her back all the way home. I told her I’d kiss her if she waited like I asked. She was young and I knew she had this crush on me. So I took advantage.”

  It still rankled that Keely overlooked this and was with Sandy. “After we left her, I didn’t get far before I had this bad feeling. I don’t know. Whatever it was, it told me to go back. When I got there, I heard her muffled cries through the door I’d told her to lock. After I broke the door down, Sandy was there with four other guys lined up to take a go at her. I lost it. Between Griff and me, we took them all out on our own.”

  “They got what was coming to them,” she said aghast.