The Care and Feeding of Stray Vampires

by Molly Harper

Page 42

 

  I scoffed. “Mr. Crown has loyal humans?”

  “Some people like cranky, anal-retentive men. ” Ophelia shrugged. “Crown called Dodd, knowing that he was following you, and the pair of them attempted to contact you at the theater. ”

  “I think we need to clarify the definition of ‘contact,’ because Mr. Dodd seems to think it means ‘chase the subject and her minor sibling into a darkened parking lot. ’ ”

  Mr. Dodd’s mouth opened to protest, and I cut him off with a raised hand. “If you give me another half-assed apology, I will smack you with this IV pole. ”

  Mr. Dodd cleared his throat. “I was going to say that Mr. Crown believed that he was being framed by Mr. Marchand. He thought that if he delivered you and your sister safely to the Council for questioning, it would go a long way toward clearing his name. ”

  “Because calling you and explaining himself was the less reasonable option?” I asked.

  “Vampire logic is difficult to explain. However, Mr. Crown does send his regards and promises to come by for a visit later. ”

  “Oh, good,” I muttered.

  Ophelia seemed to close the business portion of our visit with an overbright smile. “I’m told that puzzles and board games are a typical way for humans to pass their time in a hospital,” Ophelia said. “Do you prefer Scrabble or chess?”

  “Like I’m going to play games of strategy with you under the influence of opiates. ” I snorted.

  “Well, it’s not like you’d win without the influence of opiates,” she observed dryly.

  “Scrabble it is,” I decided.

  “Go fetch the board from my car, won’t you, Mr. Dodd?” Ophelia asked sweetly. “And on your way back, be sure to stop by the cafeteria to bring Iris a nice human breakfast. I’m sure she’s hungry. ”

  The grumpy, chastened vampire loped out the door with a resentful glance over his shoulder. Part of me felt sorry for Mr. Dodd, who would be vomiting Jell-O and broth for the next few days.

  I got over it.

  18

  Remember to keep in contact with the “daytime world. ” Go to work. Answer your friends’ e-mails. One day, your vampire guest will leave your house, and you want to have a life to go back to.

  —The Care and Feeding of Stray Vampires

  I closed the front door behind me with a snick and leaned my head against it. One more day down. Until what? I had no idea, which was sort of depressing. I just knew that I’d survived another day.

  I dropped my messenger bag by the table, wincing at the effort it took from my still-tender muscles. I was healing. Stairs were still difficult. Gigi had sweet-talked Ben into helping me during my first few days back at work. It stung my pride, but I couldn’t lift anything heavier than ten pounds with my shattered shoulder. With tales of my “heroic efforts” to help Cal through his ordeal spreading through the undead gossip circuit, referrals had tripled. I needed Ben’s help. Plus, I’d had to hire Jolene as my full-time assistant and apply for a loan on a second Dorkmobile.

  Cal had been gone for nearly a month. I’d come home from the hospital to find the house empty, his tent neatly folded in the basement. He’d left a fangwort flower pressed between the last pages of my mother’s cutting journal. And that was it.

  I wasn’t keeping track of the thirty-two days since he’d made love to me. I hadn’t marked the thirty days since I’d told him I didn’t want to be a vampire like him. And I certainly wasn’t aware that it had been two weeks since I’d had any sort of update from Ophelia. Despite being grateful for my assistance, she didn’t seem to think it was healthy for me to continually check on Cal’s progress in closing the investigation.

  Time was the enemy, but it was all I had. Gigi was set to graduate from high school in a week. She’d attended the prom with Ben, wearing a gorgeous yellow strapless gown that set off her dark hair beautifully. Ben had arranged for a wrist corsage consisting of yellow gladioli. Gigi had rolled her eyes but accepted it gracefully, particularly after I pulled her aside and told her that the flowers symbolized infatuation. To receive a gladiolus implied that the recipient had pierced the giver’s heart with passion. Gigi had pinked up prettily, while I prayed that Cal’s “pepper spray” lecture had been effective.

  Gigi had decided on the University of Kentucky, where she planned to major in nursing. Watching the staff at the hospital take care of me had had a profound impact on her. And it didn’t hurt that Ben was majoring in information systems there. She had a roommate lined up. She was collecting towels and sheets and the dolphin posters required to decorate her dorm room. After August 1, I would be an empty-nester, and I wasn’t sure how to feel about it.

  Somehow I didn’t think that working more hours was going to be a big comfort to me. Maybe Mr. Rychek could tell me where he got Diandra’s hypoallergenic cat.

  Returning to a darkened, empty house was something I needed to get used to. I sighed, dropping my purse onto the hall table and trying to remember what I had in the fridge. Jolene had organized some sort of casserole brigade among her aunts to feed us while I was laid up. For days, we’d gorged on meatloaf, pot pie, chicken-and-rice casserole, and pasta salad, none of which appealed at the moment. But making dinner for just myself was a singularly depressing thought. And eating Jujubes for dinner, though appealing, couldn’t be responsible. Maybe I needed to consider one of those sad, single-lady “dinners for one” cookbooks.

  I didn’t bother turning on the lights as I made my way to the kitchen. The house was spotlessly clean. I’d gone into a sort of dusting frenzy the previous week, as it was one of the few household chores I was allowed. Gigi mastered the heavier tasks but did mention that she was glad the dorm had a cleaning staff. I planned to let her figure out that meant that the main hallways and communal bathrooms were cleaned, not individual rooms.

  I set my cell phone on the kitchen counter. My foot caught on something on the floor, and I went flailing down. “Yipe!” I shrieked as I fell on top of something rather firm and smelling of leather and oak moss.

  “We have got to stop meeting like this,” Cal’s voice said, all smug and cool as I struggled to pull my face out of his chest. “We are terrible at staying away from each other, Miss Scanlon. ”

  I righted myself, pushing up on my elbows so I could see his happy, relaxed face. He was fully recovered. His face had filled out a little, and his color was even. He’d lost that tired look around the eyes. He trailed his fingers over the ridge of my cheekbone, stroking the skin reverently. “Iris, aren’t you going to say anything?”

  Oh, I had plenty to say.

  “You prick!” I yelled, smacking out at him. “You jackass! You moron! You insufferable, arrogant ass-monkey!”

  “Ass-monkey?” He chuckled, catching my wrists and holding off my blows. “I see you’ve gotten past your reluctance to curse. I don’t think ‘ass-monkey’ is a word, by the way. ”

  “It is now! I just made it up!” I brought my knee up so I could catch his balls.

  Or I would have if he hadn’t dodged. Stupid lightning-quick vampire reflexes.

  He dodged my kick, caressing my thigh as he gently forced my leg into a less injurious position. He nuzzled my throat. “Well, as an insult, it’s highly effective, so congratulations. ”

  “What the hell do you think you’re doing here, lying on my kitchen floor?” I demanded. “And by the way, did you get your sword back? I think I should have asked that before I started beating on you. ”

  “Yes, I got it back. ” He drew his hands over my hair, drawing me closer. “And I’m down here because I wanted to start over. So I came back to where we started, so to speak. I couldn’t figure out a way to get you to my kitchen floor without tipping you off. ”

  “Did they medicate you heavily while you were gone? I mean, they had plenty of time to get the dosage right. ”

  He looked sheepish. “I’m sorry. It took a while to get all of t
he details wrapped up. ”

  “And obviously, you were in a remote location where phone signals could not reach. ”

  “Until recently, I wasn’t sure that you would be willing to see me,” he said. “I thought you’d moved on. ”

  “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “I came to the hospital the night you woke up,” he said. “I had finally managed to satisfy Ophelia’s demands for basic information about Waco’s killing. During her debriefing, the only thing that kept me sane was that she was receiving regular updates on your condition from Jane. I came to your room and found Paul there. He was touching you, and you were smiling. You told him you loved him. ”

  “I thought it was you!” I exclaimed. “I was drugged out of my mind and woke up to someone stroking my face. I assumed it was you. ”

  “I’m sorry it wasn’t. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. And when I heard you say those words to someone else, even if it was a mistake, it broke my heart. I didn’t know it could break. I don’t want to be away from you ever again. I don’t want to be anywhere without you. Or Gigi. If she’ll have me. ”

  I sat up, leaning against the cabinets. My lips twitched, but I bit back the smile while he continued.

  “I panicked. I put you in danger. I put Gigi in danger. I was so sure you were going to decide that being with me wasn’t worth it that I ran at the first sign of rejection. I should have talked to you instead of running away. If Gigi hadn’t tracked me down to knock some sense into me—”

  “Gigi? Really?”

  “Well, Gigi and her sweetheart. Did you know Ben can track cell-phone signals from up to ten miles away? Gigi came to see me at my new Council housing and told me that I was, quote, ‘a total dumbass’ if I didn’t see how much we loved each other. ”

  I loved my sister. I really did.

  “And you didn’t call me after my baby sister kicked your butt because?”

  “I couldn’t call,” he said. “The Council can be very persuasive when they’re trying to convince you not to retire. You see, I’ve learned a lot about my vampire brethren over the years, things that would make life uncomfortable for the vampire hierarchy if released to the general public. I had to make arrangements for certain packets of information to be left in key locations so that if I or anyone I cared about came to harm, that information would be distributed. ”

  “How does your local Council supervisor feel about this?” I asked, thinking of the bloody revenge Ophelia could be planning at this very minute.

  “Who do you think helped me set it up?” he asked. “She likes the idea of having her own freelance consultant in her backyard. And she likes you. She wants you to help plan the wedding when Jane finally gives her permission to marry Jamie. Jane says hello, by the way, and that you’re still on for Girls’ Night at River Oaks next week. I believe Gabriel, Dick, Jamie, and I are expected to do some sort of manly bonding activity involving gaming equipment. ”

  That seemed awfully settled. For someone who spent so much of his time fighting attachments, Cal was practically drawing up a potluck rotation with my friends.

  I crossed my arms over my chest. “You’re staying nearby?”

  He grinned, pulling me into his lap. “I was thinking very close by. It’s a very convenient location. Beautiful gardens, spacious underground accommodations, and it’s Iris-adjacent. ”

  I snorted. “Surely you don’t think I would bring a vampire into my home. Do I look particularly stupid to you?”

  He chuckled, recalling our very first conversation. “No, I make a habit of only loving brilliant women. Besides, I already know where you live. ”

  “Don’t you threaten me! There are a lot of handy, breakable wooden objects in this room. As I have mentioned before, I’m not above living out one of my fonder Buffy fantasies. ”