The Girl I Was Before_'A Fun Feel Good Read'

by Izzy Bayliss

When we finally pulled up outside the offices of First Ireland Bank, Frankie’s whole body was rigid. She let the boys out of their seats and helped me carry the boxes into the foyer. Their offices were on the fifth floor, so we had to bring the two boys and the boxes up and down until all twenty-five boxes were in the reception area. The receptionist phoned George's P.A., Sophie who came out to meet us. Frankie had to run back to the shoot she was working on. She was going to come back to pick me up in an hour's time.

  “Childminder let you down?” Sophie asked me, nodding at the boys.

  “Something like that,” I winced.

  I followed Sophie as she led me into the empty meeting room, where in an hour’s time, the presentation was going to be taking place. The two boys trailed behind us. There was a podium in front of a large screen, which was covered over with a red velvet curtain. The room was full with rows of chairs. The cupcake stand was located at the top of the room, over to the right hand side of the podium. It was really impressive. I had seen an image of it and Sophie had emailed me the dimensions but I had never seen anything quite like it before. There were three separate custom made stands in the shape of a 2, 5 and an 0. The whole thing was about a metre high off the ground and five metres long. It had been designed so that they would display exactly two hundred and fifty cupcakes. I bent down on my hunkers and got to work opening up the boxes and filling the stand with cupcakes. As I continued filling the 2, I could see Jacob and Joshua were getting bored – they had started play fighting with one another. Joshua kept elbowing his older brother, who would then retaliate with an elbow back. I bent down on my hunkers to work on the bottom of the stand, but when I got up again, the boys were nowhere to be seen. Shit. I stepped out of the door of the meeting room and saw them sprinting in laps of the open-plan office, Joshua in pursuit of Jacob. I nearly died. I hoped George didn’t see or I could kiss goodbye to any repeat business. I mouthed sorry as I walked past all of First Ireland Bank’s employees and hauled the boys back into the meeting room by the collars of their rugby shirts. I think it was because Clara normally had them so busy – she always had them doing some sort of activity, that whenever they were away from her, they tended to go berserk. Of course as soon as I would hand them back to her again, they acted like angels.

  Once we were back inside the meeting room I sternly told them they’d have to sit down and stop messing. I managed to finish the 2 and the 5 and was just starting on the 0. It was starting to come together, and even I was impressed with how it had turned out. Thankfully the boys seemed to have calmed down. They were sitting quietly on two chairs in the front row.

  “Nearly finished now, boys, just one more box to put up.”

  When the last cupcake went on the stand I stood back to admire the display. It looked amazing – it was completely unique owing to the stand; I was proud to put this on my portfolio. I took some photos to put on my website and then the boys helped me clean up the boxes. I was squashing them down inside a black sack, but when I turned around again I watched in horror as Jacob was trying to lift the 5 stand off the ground.

  “Jacob – nooo!” I cried but it was too late. I watched in slow motion as he fell forward onto the stand, causing it to crash to the ground, sending the buns flying in every direction across the carpet.

  Dear God, this cannot be happening. This cannot be happening, I thought to myself.

  Jacob started to cry.

  “I hurt my arm, Lily.”

  “Your arm? Your arm?” I was shrieking now. “Look what you’ve done to my cakes!” I pulled him up from where he had fallen on top of the stand. His clothes were covered in frosting. I stood there paralysed, just staring at the mess, not knowing what to do. The presentation was due to start in fifteen minutes. I was finished as soon as George and Sophie saw this. There was only one thing I could do to try and salvage the situation – I had to pick up the cakes that had fallen. I quickly started gathering them up off the floor, inspecting each one and picking off any bits of dirt or hairs that I could see as best I could before putting them back up on the stand again. I prayed nobody would eat those ones. I told the boys to help too.

  We were all busy scrutinising the buns and putting them back onto the stand when a voice startled me from behind.

  “Need a hand?”

  “Jesus Christ!” I jumped up, nearly knocking the 2 myself.

  It was an employee of the company – I remembered his face because he had been the only one to look vaguely amused when the boys were doing laps of the office.

  “I was coming in to practice my speech, but I can see you’ve had a little accident there.” He pointed at the buns, which still remained on the floor.

  Sweet mother of Divinity, he had seen me picking them off the carpet. This was it now – I was a goner. I wanted to run out of the place and forget the whole thing. What did I, Lily McDermott, disaster central, think I was doing setting up a professional cake making business in the first place? Of course I would have to fail at it – I failed at everything else I had ever tried in life, why would this have been any different? I felt awful for Frankie because she had recommended me to the company. She would look bad now.

  “Here let me help you,” he said as he hitched up his slacks, bent down and started picking up the buns, inspecting them for dirt and hairs just like we had been doing, before putting them back on the stand.

  I was too stunned to speak, and didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry. I bent down and started doing the same as him.

  “What happened?” he asked.

  “The boys . . . fell . . . knocked it over.” I was hyperventilating and could barely get the words out. My heart was thumping wildly.

  “I see! That’s a wild pair there you have,” he said nodding at them. He had huge brown eyes, the kind that made him look like a nice person.

  “Oh they’re not mine. No way – they’re my nephews.” I had started to calm down. “My sister landed me with them at the last minute, they’re lovely really, just a bit . . . hyper. This is Jacob and his little brother Joshua.”

  “Nice to meet you boys!” He put out his hand to shake theirs. “My name is Sam.” I noticed his hands first. That’s the first thing I always notice in a man – his hands. They were strong and muscular and dark hairs threaded his tanned skin. I would have to have a bath in Saint Tropez to ever go that dark.

  “Hi, Sam,” the boys chorused back.

  “And you are?”

  “Sorry – I’m Lily.”

  “I know you from somewhere –” Sam said as we picked up the last of the cupcakes.

  “No, I don’t think we’ve met before.”

  “No, we definitely have – I never forget a face,” he said assuredly.

  “Right, well . . . em maybe we met somewhere before.” I really didn’t want to get into an argument with the man – he was doing me a huge favour after all but I definitely had never met him before.

  “The karaoke bar!”

  “What?”

  “The karaoke bar on South William Street – you know the one in the basement, with four tables and the glittery strips on the way to the toilet?”

  “Erm, no,” I tried to feign innocence.

  “You fell off the stage beside me. I helped catch you before you hit the floor.”

  Dear God no, please don’t do this to me. Could today get any worse? I wanted to crawl under the carpet tiles. No, no, no. Why do these things always come back to haunt me? This would never happen to Frankie. Not in a million, squillion years.

  “Right . . . yeah – look I’m awfully sorry about that. I’m normally not so unprofessional," I said as I picked up the last cupcake, examined it and placed it back onto the 5.

  “Don’t worry – you and your friend – Frankie wasn’t it? You were great fun.”

  Now that he said it, he did look vaguely familiar, but I had been so wasted that night that Kate Middleton herself could have offered me her entire collection of LK Bennett shoes and I still wouldn’t remember.
/>   “Hmm. There – all done now.” I stood back to look at the stand again. You would never know the catastrophe that had just taken place. I had put all the wonky buns at the back and swapped them for better ones at the front.

  “It looks great, Lily – well done!” Sam said.

  “Right, look thanks again, we’d better go and let you get on with rehearsing your speech. C’mon boys. Say goodbye to Sam.”

  “Bye, bye, Sam.”

  “Bye, Jacob, bye, Joshua, bye, Lily,” Sam said with a bemused look on his face.

  Chapter 23

  As Frankie drove us all home afterwards I filled her in on what had happened. She was horrified. She could remember Sam – at least one of us could. She kept on shaking her head saying, “what are the chances” over and over.

  I was starving so we stopped off for some lunch and when we finally reached my estate, Clara’s SUV was already there in the car park. She was sitting inside it waiting for us. I climbed out of the Mini and walked over to her.

  “Where on earth were you, Lily?” she fired off.

  “Just hang on a minute, Clara – I told you I had to deliver cupcakes into town.”

  “Well I’ve been waiting here for over half an hour – I tried phoning you!”

  I remembered then I had turned my phone off so that it wouldn’t go off in First Ireland Bank but I had forgotten to turn it back on.

  “How did the lunch go?” I asked.

  “Luncheon, Lily – it was a “luncheon".”

  “Luncheon then – how did it go?”

  “Yes, it was most enjoyable, we had a lovely afternoon.”

  She never even asked me how I got on, or how the boys were for that matter. She climbed down from her Range Rover and came over to Frankie's car. She looked disapprovingly at the Mini before taking out the boy's car seats and putting them back into her SUV.

  “Right, Lily I’d better go – the boys have swimming lessons at four.”

  She strapped them in before hopping into the driver's seat and heading off.

  “I don’t know how you don’t throttle that woman, Lily!” Frankie said as she watched the SUV disappear out of sight. "She never even thanked you!"

  “You know what she’s like, Frankie – that’s just Clara.”

  ***

  I decided to have a lie-in the next morning – after the stress of the previous day, I reckoned I deserved it but just after eight my phone rang. I didn’t recognise the number.

  “Hello, Lily?” It was a man’s voice.

  “Yes?”

  “Lily – hi it’s Sam – Sam from First Ireland Bank – we met yesterday?”

  “Oh yeah – hi, Sam” I tried to make my voice sound like I hadn’t just been asleep.

  “Oh sorry, did I wake you?”

  “No, no, I've been up for ages,” I lied getting out of bed so I would sound more serious.

  “I got your number from Sophie, George’s P.A., and well I just thought you might like to know that the cupcakes went down a treat.”

  “Well thank God for that, eh?”

  “Yes, hairs and all.”

  I groaned.

  “Don’t worry no one went near the ones at the back of the stand, everyone was far too full by that stage.”

  “Phew! Look thanks again for helping me out like that. I really appreciate it.”

  “I hope you don’t mind, but the reason that I'm ringing you is because I’m looking to have a birthday cake made – but not just any birthday cake, it has to be a dinosaur cake.”

  “Sure. When is the party?”

  “This Saturday.”

  “This Saturday?”

  “Right.”

  It was short notice but in fairness Sam got me out of a tricky spot the day before so I wanted to help him. “And what age is the child?”

  “Cian is seven.”

  “And do you want any writing on it – 'Happy birthday Cian' or something?”

  “Yeah, perfect.”

  “Great. Okay and where do you want me to drop it off?”

  “The address is 99 Bull Island View, Clontarf.”

  I grabbed a pen and quickly scribbled it down. “Is one o’clock okay?”

  “Perfect, see you then.”

  There was no point going back to bed - I knew I wouldn’t sleep. I put my dressing gown on and opened up my laptop to start researching ideas for dinosaur cakes. So much for having a lie-in.

  ***

  The following Saturday, Dad picked up the dinosaur and I. I really needed to get some wheels – it was getting ridiculous having to get everybody else to transport me and my cakes everywhere. I knew Dad didn’t mind, but what if he or Frankie weren’t able to do it some day? Dad put the address into his sat-nav, and we headed for Clontarf.

  I was delighted with the way the cake had turned out. I had moulded the chocolate biscuit cake vertically and covered it in icing to make a grey 3-D Tyrannosaurus Rex standing on its back legs, with its front legs raised and white teeth bared. He looked pretty fearsome – I just hoped Sam’s son wouldn’t be scared of it. I had shaped a 7 to look like it was carved out of rock, and stood it on the cake-board, which I had covered with red icing. Then I had written “Happy Birthday Cian” diagonally across the board in front of Rex. I was too afraid to put it in the boot or on the back seat of the car in case it would slide, so I put the board on my knee and had Rexy eyeballing me the whole way to Clontarf.

  Eventually Dad pulled up on the kerb outside the house. 99 Bull Island View was a handsome red-brick two-storey house right on the seafront. He climbed out and went around to help Rexy and I out of the car. I walked up to the house and balanced the cake with one arm, while I rang the bell with the other. The door was pulled back by a woman dressed in a flowy white kaftan. She wore a pair of skinny denims cut off at the ankles on her endless legs and had a pair of flat Roman sandals. I noticed she had nice feet - her toes were all the right length, not like my deformed feet where my second toe was bigger than my big toe. She had her toenails painted with red nail varnish and not a chip in sight. Her blonde hair was tied up loosely on her head, and she had a pair of sunglasses perched on top. Even though she was casually dressed, she was still very glamorous. Her and Sam made a good looking couple.

  “Hi – you must be Sam’s wife? I’m Lily from Baked with Love. Here is the cake for your son.”

  The woman smiled kindly at me. “Wow, Lily it looks great – Cian will be thrilled – he is obsessed with dinosaurs. Do you want to come in? Sam is in the kitchen.”

  “Oh no it’s fine, my Dad is waiting for me in the car.” I felt like a teenager, I really was going to have to learn how to drive.

  “Here put that down on the table. Your arms must be hanging off you!”

  I placed Rexy onto the hall table, and just then Sam came into the hall with a child hanging over his back as he held him by the ankles.

  “Lily, wow!” He stopped to look at the cake. “How long did that take you? It looks amazing doesn’t it, Cian?”

  “Let me down, let me down. I can’t see it,” the boy cried. He couldn’t see it from where he was hanging down Sam’s back.

  “No way – I told you if you scored that goal I would get you,” Sam laughed.

  “Put him down for God's-sake will you!” The woman said good-humouredly.

  Sam put Cian down on the floor, and I saw he was a gorgeous boy with huge brown eyes like his Dad. "Wow the cake is so cool!" Cian said.

  “Lily – this is, Marita, Marita – Lily”

  “Nice to meet you, Lily,” Marita held out a slender hand to shake mine.

  “Will you stay for a while and try some of your creation?” Sam asked me.

  “I’d better not – my Dad is waiting in the car for me.” Sam looked over my shoulder towards Dad. Dad waved from the car, and Sam and Marita waved back at him. I cringed.

  “Right so – look I’d better go. Enjoy the day. Oh and happy birthday, Cian.”

  "Well thanks, Lily, I really appreciate
it."

  We said goodbye and I walked back down the driveway and hopped back into the car, not missing Rexy’s weight on my lap.

  “Dad?” I asked as he pulled out into the traffic.

  “Yes, Lily?”

  “Will you teach me how to drive?”

  Chapter 24

  The next day my phone rang. I recognized it as Sam's number.

  "Hi, Sam, how did the party go?"

  “Lily, I'm so sorry! I completely forgot to pay you – I’m so embarrassed. You were gone off in the car when I thought of it.”

  “Don't be silly, I didn't want any money – after everything you helped me with that day, I’m just glad I could return the favour.”

  “No way – all I did was pick up a few buns from the floor. I insist – if you don’t tell me where I can send it – I’ll turn up at your bakery.”

  “I don’t actually have a bakery,” I mumbled. “I work from my own kitchen.”

  “Right then, I see . . . well, I’d better not turn up at your house. That might get awkward . . .” He started laughing. “How about you meet me for a drink instead?”

  “Honestly, Sam - it’s fine.”

  “Please, Lily?”

  “I . . . ehm -”

  “How about Young’s? Would Friday at seven be okay with you?” He was insistent.

  “Right, I'll see you then I guess.”

  I hung up the phone and felt strange. Maybe I was reading too much into it but it didn’t really feel right – he was married with a child. I know I was technically just meeting him to get paid, but why did we need to go for a drink too? Marita had seemed like a nice woman, and after everything that happened with Marc, there was no way I would ever do that to another woman. No way.

  ***

  With trepidation, on Friday evening, I got ready to meet Sam in Young’s bar. I had decided that I would be polite and stay for one drink, but then I was going home. I made my way down the back of the darkened pub and I spotted him sitting alone at a table. He was dressed in a shirt and jeans, and his hair was styled up in an “I've-just-woken-up-but-really-it-took-me-an-hour-to-get-it-this-way” look. He stood up straight away when I reached the table, leaned over and gave me a kiss on the cheek like we were old friends. I could tell immediately from his body language that his intentions weren’t innocent. This was all wrong and I felt really uncomfortable being there. I felt awful for Marita. We ordered a pint of Heineken for Sam and a white wine for me, which I intended to drink very fast.