Fractured

by Leanne Pearson

  He stares at me like I’ve grown an extra head, contemplating my words before shaking his head and offering a wistful smile.

  “All Dan would want is for her to be happy again. If you can somehow miraculously make that happen, who am I to stand in your way? But if you fuck this up, Dell, you’d better leave town and not look back. I mean it.”

  Gotta admire this guy. If I’d walked into a situation like this, I’d probably hit first and ask questions later. He hasn’t told me to back away from Kate completely, and I’ll not make him regret the small dose of trust his words imply that he has in me.

  “Point taken. As I said, I’d never hurt her intentionally.”

  “Let her cool off a bit, then I’ll go talk to her, think seeing you again tonight would just flip her out further.”

  “Yeah… maybe you’re right. Thanks, man.”

  Chapter 19

  IGNITE

  ~ Kate ~

  I had set my alarm for an early start, and sneak out before anyone else is up. I send Sarah a text letting her know I’ll be back around midday, then take a leisurely walk up along a secluded trail, which leads through a gorgeous native forest that I had discovered just behind the kitchen block.

  It’s so quiet and peaceful up here. Finding a rocky outcrop just short of the highest point, I rest up and just take in some of the sights of Hanmer from my vantage point under a canopy of native vegetation. I desperately need this time alone to clear my head. My emotions feel very close to the surface again today, my thoughts so conflicted. I hate being so far away from Danny’s graveside. Today I wish that I could visit him and pour my heart out. But high up here in the mountains, with the rich tapestry of Southland nature surrounding me, I begin to feel somewhat buoyant, my thoughts less turbulent and troubled.

  A few hours later, trudging through Hanmer town, I pass a building that is obviously a club of sorts. A sign on the door catches my eye.

  If dancing is your passion, don’t miss this opportunity to shine.

  Top $ paid for doing what you love.

  I pull my phone from my pocket, and without another thought, quickly enter the mobile number displayed. I notice too, that I have three missed calls from Sarah, one from Mel, and two texts from Dom. I place my phone back in my pocket without reading any of them.

  I love dancing. I had been a regular member of a pole-dancing studio in Christchurch before that lethal earthquake redefined who I am today. There is such a misconception about this form of dancing. We never stripped naked; our routines were beautiful and very tastefully choreographed. I don’t know why I’m saving the number, but I do feel compelled to.

  As I enter my room back at the resort a while later, a fragrant floral aroma hits my nostrils. A bouquet of beautiful red roses sits on the small dining-room table. Knowing immediately who they must be from, emotion clogs my throat, and my hand shakes while extricating the card nestled deep within the green foliage.

  Sorry babe. No further mention of screaming orgasms. Scout’s honour.

  I clutch the small card to my chest and fight the urge to seek Dominic out and fling myself into his arms. I’m still not sure what I want with Dom exactly, but I know I need him. Even if it’s just friendship. I can’t lose what we have. I just need time to process this.

  Two hours later, having just showered, I’m sitting on the bed in just a towel, waiting for Sarah to make an appearance. We have planned on doing hair and makeup together. The four of us, Chase, Dominic, Sarah and I, are attending the local dinner dance tonight, which is being held at a hotel in town in aid of the Christchurch Earthquake Appeal. But sitting on my bed in a daze, I’m confused. I don’t know what to feel or what the emergent evening will bring.

  Sarah bursts in shortly thereafter, having spent the best part of the morning trawling through a few shops in the town centre in a quest to find a dress for tonight.

  “Hey, Katy. How was your morning? I finally found a dress by the way,” she says while rummaging through a large blue bag. At my non-reaction, she glances up, her eyes landing on the flowers first.

  By the time she registers who they are from, and looks across at me, my tears are already falling; I am so sick of crying.

  Head in my hands, I feel the mattress dip as Sarah sits down next to me. Hot torrents of tears blind my vision while Sarah rubs my back. “That’s a beautiful bouquet. Don’t feel guilty, honey, please. I know you’re nursing an open wound in your heart that you don’t think will ever heal. Danny’s left this world, but he’ll never leave your heart. You’ve got to believe that, Katy.”

  She pauses to think her next words through. “Just promise me you won’t let the loss of Dan hold you back from the possibility of loving again,” she implores in a watery voice.

  “D-don’t please, Sarah,” I beg through hiccupping breaths.

  “I have to, Katy. This is something you need to hear. With the way that Dan loved you, I know he’d want more for you than this...this self-imposed prison of loneliness you’ve locked yourself up in. If you feel as strongly about Dominic as I suspect you do, let him in. Let the man get past those walls.”

  This conversation is getting too close to the nerve centre of my innermost fears, to the flames of desire which have grown from a few sparks to a steady burn. My devastating loss has closed off my heart emotionally. It had frozen over, until a dangerously handsome man caused it to flutter to life again by providing the warmth and support it needed to begin to thaw, leaving me fighting an internal war: The heady rush of newfound attraction versus the bitter chill of loss.

  At a basic level, I hear the truth in her words. What she doesn’t realise is just how close Dominic is to breaching them already.

  Mutual tears, and some girly giggling through our makeup and dress selection, Sarah and I are soon all set for our night out.

  “You go on ahead, Sarah. I just need to few minutes to myself to clear my head. Okay?”

  “Sure, hon. You look really beautiful tonight. Please promise me you’ll leave this room with an open mind,” she says, coming up behind me, as I look over my appearance in the full-length mirror. Meeting her eyes in the reflection, I take a deep breath and nod slowly. Then, Sarah is gone, the click of the door closing behind her.

  I’m wearing a figure-hugging, black, short scoop-neck dress with long sleeves. The slits that run the length of the sleeves give it a chic elegance. Fixing my hair into to a messy bun, I smile into the mirror. I actually feel pretty tonight. As I’m about to exit the unit, I glance over at the bouquet of roses, biting down on my lip as Sarah’s words resound in my head. “Let him in.”

  I am nervous as hell. I haven’t seen Dom since I received his roses. Before the flowers had arrived, I had it all in the bag. The plan was to have my game face on. Determined to not let him affect me, I’d planned to be aiming for nonchalance and disinterest when I next saw him. That sensual mouth, and any words which may spill from it, would fly right over my head. Now, I am not so sure how I’ll react.

  * * *

  Holding a single rose from his bouquet in my hand, I step into the cool interior of the function room, the plush carpeting spongy beneath my heeled shoes. Sarah had sent me a text to tell me where we were seated. Making my way over to our table, my body rocks to a halt at the sound of his voice. A voice that makes my skin tingle.

  “You’re a beautiful vision tonight, Kate.”

  The words float over my skin and settle in my soul. My heart rate picks up as I suck in a breath.

  Turning in the direction of his voice, my grip on the stem of the rose tightens, and a thorn pierces my finger. This is instantly forgotten when my eyes find Dominic’s form in the semi-shadowed corner of the room.

  Stepping towards me—dressed in a fitted, tailored grey jacket over a white dress shirt which is slightly unbuttoned, and paired with form-fitting faded-blue jeans—the potency of his sexuality envelopes me as he takes my hand which is holding the rose.

  “You’re bleedin’, sweetheart.”

&n
bsp; I haven’t even realised, so caught up I am in his spell.

  I inhale sharply as he draws my finger into his mouth. My nipples harden immediately, a soft moan escaping my lips as his tongue swirls around my finger before releasing it with a slight pop. Blood usually turns my stomach, so how can Dominic sucking it off my finger be so disturbingly erotic?

  I snap my hand back.

  “I can’t play games, Dom, okay? Being the skilled puppet master you clearly are, you’re obviously used to pulling the strings to lure women into your bed,” I say breathlessly. Looking contrite, the corners of his lips tip up, not quite forming a smile, and I internally swoon nonetheless.

  “Puppet master. Seriously? That’s one I haven’t been called before. I’m genuinely sorry that I came on too strong though...but it kinda makes me think of a song I heard on the radio a few days ago actually.”

  “I’m being serious, Dom.”

  “So am I, darlin’. It was a Robert Palmer classic. ‘I Didn’t Mean To Turn You On’, is the title,” he deadpans.

  A bubbling laugh escapes me and eases the tension immediately. “You’re an ass, you know this, right?”

  His handsome features instantly relax and I’m treated to another toe-curling grin. “Guilty as charged, darlin’.”

  “Come here, sweetheart. Promise to try behavin’ around you from now on.” His expression grows serious as he opens his arms out to me for a hug. Unable to resist, I step into his embrace. As his powerful arms wrap around me, I immediately feel a confusing sense of belonging as an unyielding flutter of desire ripples through me once more.

  My eye catches Sarah fist pumping the air, and grinning at me like a loon, from her seat at our table. I flip her off and pull back to look up at Dom, still clutching his biceps. They flex under my touch.

  He’s so handsome it steals my breath and makes my heart ache. I restrain my hand from reaching up to cup his jaw. He scans my face like he’s trying to commit my features to memory. He’s so tall, that even wearing heels, my forehead is only line with his chin.

  My heart skips a beat at the intensity with which he’s staring down at me. I quickly avert my eyes and start to pull back. “Quit doin’ that, Kate. Don’t put up the walls, it’s a wasted effort, ’cos I’m just gonna break them down, darlin’. Let yourself feel again, trust your instincts. I’m guessin’ your heart is tellin’ you to take a chance on us but your head has it under lockdown. Am I close?”

  Great, the man doesn’t miss much. I wonder if the US Marine Corps ever used him as an interrogator?

  He is dead accurate with his powers of perception.

  While every new day brings with it uncertainty, fear, and guilt, Dom is taking it upon himself to be my rock, but I often glimpse storm clouds brewing behind those piercing blue eyes of his, hinting at darker things he keeps hidden. What untold hurt lay behind those depthless eyes that read others so well, taking in every nuance, yet never revealing much themselves?

  “Thank you for the roses, Dom,” I say into his neck, hesitating for the briefest second before softly kissing the scratchy stubble on his chin. Without a second glance, I turn away, and sashay over to our table.

  We take our seats while drinks and starters are served. Dominic is sitting directly opposite me. Every time I look up, his eyes are on mine. I battle to focus my attention on the conversation flowing around me as my eyes keep drifting back to his; an invisible tether holding me captive to his enigmatic stare. It’s as though his eyes are communicating what his mouth won’t say. “Let go, Kate.”

  It would be all too easy to get lost in the azure depths of those eyes, the emotions behind them as turbulent and powerful as the ocean. At times, I so desperately want to reach out and pull him to me, connect with him on a level that won’t require words. Part of me yearns to take that plunge and be swept away. I’m just too scared to take that chance, afraid I’d pull us both under with the dead weight of my sorrow. Dominic deserves so much more. Deserves better than me. I’d hurt him. Not even intentionally. Yet every time we are together, the air is charged. By just being the man he is, he has seduced my mind, and my body burns for him. I’m too afraid to put a name to what has grown between us over the months. The undercurrent that pulses between us whenever we’re in the same room feels like it’s amped up tonight.

  Do we have more than just physical chemistry, or is my affection for him just a temporary Band-Aid to cover my internal agony? Would we last longer than a quick fling? I know that I care for him deeply. Too deeply. My mind swims in a welter of dizzying emotions when I’m near him.

  Looking at him now, I can see a multitude of emotions flit across his face as he has me trapped in a searing gaze. I avert my eyes and swallow a gulp of my champagne. Yeah, this is more than just the physical for both of us.

  Rascal Flatts’ “I Won’t Let Go” starts playing and couples slowly begin to make their way over to the dance floor. Without looking up, I just know that Dominic is about to ask me to dance.

  I take a shaky breath and lift my eyes to his. I feel like a deer in the headlights; I want to run, as I always do, yet can’t move a muscle. Defenceless. We’re communicating without words, connecting without touching. He reaches his hand out to me.

  “Dance with me, sweetheart.”

  My body rises from my seat instantly. I’m incapable of saying no. Sarah and Chase stop talking momentarily as Dom leads me away from the table. I can feel their eyes remain on us. The dance floor is fairly small and swarming with couples. We meld together as the lyrics surround us. Dominic doesn’t move at first, he’s just staring at me with a hungry look in his eyes. Like a man starved. I slip my arms under his jacket and up over his shirt, resting my head against his chest, and we instinctively begin to move as one. I lift my head back up to look at him. The lyrics of the song, and what he’s growing to mean to me choke me. Such an intensity of emotions still unspoken between us. He’s in as deep as I am. I can read it in the tender expression on his face. Can see it reflected in his eyes.

  “Don’t cry, baby. Just live for the moment. Here. With me.”

  His voice resonates deep into my soul as I press up against him tightly, the beating of his heart matching the cadence of mine. With his words and his touch, I feel parts of my still healing heart pulling together, growing stronger, Dominic commanding the rhythm it beats to.

  The song changes to a track with a seductive tempo, and Dominic starts moving. Into me, against me, his palms grip my backside tightly, as his mouth sensuously ghosts over my neck. Goose bumps erupt all over my skin, which has nothing to do with the temperature of the room. My body is an inferno in the centre of the dance floor. I grip his hips, pressing myself against him, gasping when I feel the evidence of his arousal. My skin overheats as desire clenches deep within me.

  Our eyes collide and lock, the air between us sizzling. People around us float away and I’m caught in flames of burning need. The effects of the alcohol, the pulsating music, and his hands on me have rendered my lust-filled brain delirious with desire.

  Distance. I need distance between us.

  “I’m taking a breather, Dom. I’ll be back,” I whisper, knowing full well, that he won’t be able to follow me given his aroused state.

  I weave through the crowd and slip out through the doors, which open out onto a sweeping veranda.

  The cool damp air settles over my skin as I look out over the valley before me, which is cloaked in darkness. Pinpoints of lights flicker against the inky blackness. The silhouette of the mountains loom in the distance.

  I wrap my arms around my torso for warmth. Staring up into the star-lit sky above, I hear the doors behind me open and quietly shut again. I start trembling as my heart kicks up in tempo, my breathing laboured in an attempt to stifle the threatening sob that is clogging my throat. I want Dominic so badly it hurts. It feels so right on so many levels, yet so utterly wrong on others. It’s too soon. Hesitatingly, I pull my eyes from the night sky above to turn and face the man behind me.
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br />   The sexual tension that’s been pulsing soundlessly between us is palpable and thickens the air, making it hard to breathe. My pulse quickens as Dominic bridges the gap between us. Each step he takes deliberate.

  The intensity of his stare causes tingles to skitter across my exposed skin that’s being caressed by his penetrating eyes. In one final stride, he closes the distance. The look in his eyes, proprietary. His gait, predatory.

  Backing up back against a wall adjacent to the veranda railing, I brace my hands against the cold gravelly surface, attempting to get my breathing under control.

  He stops a few inches from me. I can feel the heat of his body, his scent, which makes my head start to swim. “Please, darlin’, let me in. Don’t shut the door on what could be somethin’ beautiful between us, please,” he says softly, as he reaches down slowly to cup my chin in his big hand, bringing my face up to within inches of his. I could get off on this man’s voice and mellow southern accent alone.

  I take another steadying breath as my chest rises and falls, and drag my eyes up to meet his. I could melt. On this spot. Desire dilating his pupils, they’re burning with a passion so intense, that I feel branded.

  “C’mere, sweetheart,” he says, moving closer.

  “I…I can’t do this, Dom, for your sake, and mine. I would pull you down with all the baggage I’m carrying.” I can feel the coiled tension rolling off his body.

  “You’re deep in a free fall, sweetheart, I want to be the one to catch you. Let. Me. Please,” he whispers.

  “I’m not askin’ for any promises, know it’s a risk that we’ll crash ‘n’ burn.” He expels a ragged breath, his eyes boring into mine making me feel so completely exposed, and trapped. I’m flooded with a myriad of emotions...relief, fear, uncertainty, longing. My eyes skid off to the side in an attempt to distract myself from the mesmerising pull of his eyes and deliciously warm body.