Buried Passions

by Andrew Grey

  “Because I see you. Not as man who is onstage, but the real you. And you see me—you always see me.” Luka lifted my hands to his lips. “I will take what you can give.” He leaned closer, but I tilted my head to the side.

  “I wish I could kiss you, but these people aren’t ready to see what might happen if we do.” I brought my lips to Luka’s ear. “So tonight you and I will have to do our best to see if we can keep Chet awake.” I grinned as Luka blushed heavily.

  “He hear us?”

  “I’m afraid so. Apparently we aren’t very quiet.” I chuckled. “I think he was jealous.” I leaned against Luka’s solidity as Chet strode back over, dropped his bag to the side of the blanket, then ran toward the lake and into the water. Kids raced after him, mimicking his actions, and the water became a hive of activity. “He doesn’t have a bad idea.”

  “No. Can we leave this here?” Luka motioned to the picnic things around us.

  “Go ahead and change. When you get back, I’ll change, and then once Chet gets out of the water, we can go swimming.” I opened the cooler, pulled out the container of fruit and a fork, and munched as Luka walked to the changing rooms. Damn, I could not pull my gaze away from him, and judging by the way the chatter of conversation softened, neither could half the people sitting in their chairs. Not that I could blame them. Who wouldn’t want to get to know Luka better? He was stunning, tall, strong, dark, caring, and now that I’d gotten to spend time with him, I knew he was sensitive and carried a lot of hidden pain along with him.

  “Damn,” Chet said as he returned, drying himself before placing his towel on the edge of the blanket. “He’s hot enough to make glass.”

  “Yeah, and he’s mine… at least for now.” I smiled. “I’m going to go back to New York, but I’ve made a number of decisions. I’m going to keep the house and car here. I’ll store the car in the garage and take the train here on the days that my show is dark. I’ll spend that time with Luka. I’m going to do my best to make something work. He deserves someone who will fight for him and be there for him, and dammit, I want that person to be me.”

  “But why?” Chet snagged a piece of melon and popped it in his mouth.

  “Why did I fall in love with him?” I asked.

  Chet nodded. “Is it because he looks like that?” He turned as Luka stepped out of the changing room.

  My mouth went dry, and I realized I could watch him until the day I died. “Maybe at first. But, see, he isn’t one of those guys we meet at the theater who waits outside the door. They’re interested in us because of what we do. I know people like me for my looks. It’s part of the reason I get cast. He likes me for me. We talk and laugh together….” How could I describe it? “I know things about Luka that no one else does.” I sighed. “At least this way I won’t be burning any bridges. He and I will be able to see each other and find out if what we have will go the distance. I have to see if that’s possible.”

  Chet nodded as Luka joined us, taking a seat on the blanket. “You change now?”

  “Yes.” I grabbed the plastic bag I’d put my things in and jogged to the changing room. In a stall, I stripped down and stepped into my shorts, then pulled on an extra T-shirt to prevent sunburn. When I came out, the sun was nearly blinding. Once my eyes adjusted, I smiled as Chet threw his head back, laughing at something Luka had said. Then Luka laughed, the sound reaching my ears over the din, and I smiled myself. I hurried over to get in on the fun. “What are you laughing about?”

  “You. I was telling Luka some stories. Like the time the leading lady was supposed to hand you the gun and she handed you the letter opener instead.” Chet giggled, a sound I had rarely heard before, and Luka rolled his eyes, also something new. “Anyway. She handed him the letter opener and he shot my character with it, then passed by the table, switched props, and came up with the gun. It was an incredible bit of sleight of hand and stagecraft. The audience barely noticed, and by the time they did, they weren’t sure it had actually happened.”

  They both laughed.

  “What else was I supposed to do?” I asked seriously and then smiled, thinking of my own experience. “I guess the best thing I saw onstage was years ago, though. It was at a performance of Nabucco. I think it was at the Met. There is this scene where a prisoner, who is supposed to love the queen, is down on his knees, begging. But what neither of them realized was that he’d knelt on the edge of her huge cape. She turned to walk away and yoink. Just like something out of a cartoon, her head snaps back.”

  “What she do?” Luka asked, grinning with excitement and anticipation, leaning closer, and for a second I forgot where I was going with the story.

  “She turned to him, really haughtily, and tugged the cape like he wasn’t good enough to kneel on it. The effect was marvelous, and the scene went on. Sometimes mistakes onstage are hilarious, but most of the time we cover and the audience doesn’t know.” I smiled and turned to Luka. The delightful man seemed to love stories almost as much as I did. “Do you want to get wet?” I certainly hoped so.

  Luka stood and raced to the water. I followed right behind, splashing as we ran in, and fell into the cool lake. It was amazing. I paddled out to the floating platform, climbed up, and waited for Luka, who rose out of the water like a Greek god, all rich skin and powerful muscles, with water sluicing off him. He could be a model in one of those fragrance commercials. But the way he looked at me once he stood on the platform threatened to evaporate the water off my skin. It was damn heady having someone look at me with such smoldering eyes, and I wondered just how long it would be before I messed something up again and Luka realized just how easily he could find someone better.

  He walked to the other side of the platform, shorts clinging to his backside, and dove into the water with incredible grace, barely raising a splash. I jumped in after him, and Luka swam up. We were behind the raft and out of sight of everyone as he came closer, arms encircling me.

  “You take breath away.”

  “Me?” I whispered.

  “You.” He closed the distance and kissed me just as someone blew a whistle.

  We broke apart, and I chuckled as I realized one of the lifeguards was chastising a kid on shore for something. I turned back to Luka, who was already swimming over to climb back up. I headed in toward the beach, but spun around to watch Luka as soon as my feet touched the sand. He glided into the water and came up with a grin. I walked out and grabbed a towel when I reached the blanket.

  “Am I being an idiot?” I asked Chet. I shifted to watch Luka again. “What the hell am I going to do?”

  Chet shook his head. “But I think you’re going to have to figure that out sooner than you wanted to.” He handed me my phone and showed me I’d missed a call from Payton. There was a message asking me to call him back at four if I could, telling me he had the opportunity of a lifetime for me. He sounded excited even in the message. “Well?”

  “He wants me to call at four.” I left out the rest.

  “Is that all?” Chet leaned forward.

  “He said it was the opportunity of a lifetime.” I had a hard time mustering the same kind of excitement. “We’ll see what the details are when I call him back.” There was nothing else for me to do. I fixed Chet with a hard stare as Luka returned, dripping water everywhere. I handed him a towel and made room for him, then pulled lunch out of the cooler.

  “Aren’t you hungry?” Luka asked, and I realized I’d eaten half a sandwich and nothing else.

  “I’m okay.” I picked up the half sandwich, took a bite, and chewed, but didn’t taste anything. I ate some fruit as well before scooting closer to Luka and leaning against him with a soft sigh. I should have known the contentment I’d fallen into for the last few days wasn’t going to last. I’d known this was coming. I was going to have to go back to New York, and then I’d only see Luka whenever I had a break from whatever show Payton had been able to get me. At least I was going to be able to see him. That would have to do.

  “It�
��s nearly four,” Chet prodded, saying it as though it weren’t important.

  Luka had pulled on a T-shirt and lay back on the blanket, hands behind his head. I’d lay down as well, leaving room for Chet, who decided it was a good time to take a walk.

  “My agent left a message and asked me to call him at four.”

  “I see.” Luka didn’t move, so I scooted closer, my hand touching his, our fingers curling together. “I thought maybe we have longer.”

  “Me too. I don’t know when I’ll have to go back, but Payton will tell me what’s going on.” I rolled onto my side, burying my face in Luka’s shoulder. “I have to go back and work. It’s what I do. But I did mean what I said earlier. I get days off, and I’ll come back to visit as often as I can. It’s easy enough to catch the train from New York.”

  “You serious.” Luka cradled my head in his arm, and I inhaled his scent as the nerves and tension eased out of me.

  “Of course I’m serious. I’ve decided to keep the house here in town, and I’m going to work things out so the cemetery becomes more self-sustainable. I don’t know how long exactly before I have to go, but it’s happening quicker than I’d hoped.” I lifted my gaze away from Luka’s skin, just enough to see his eyes. “I didn’t come here expecting to find you or to feel for you the way I do. I only came here to settle Uncle Samuel’s estate and go back.”

  “What change?” Luka whispered into my ear.

  I chuckled because I had to. “You did. You changed everything. Well, you and Uncle Samuel. I got to know him, in a way, and I can’t just throw away everything he worked for. He was a good man, and I like it here. I found a connection to my past, my family’s past, that I don’t want to walk away from.”

  “It not just me,” Luka said.

  I nodded. “It’s more than you, but you’re the best part.” I shared a smile with him. “I thought I would have more time. That we would have more time.”

  Luka stroked his fingers through my damp hair. “Me too. What get, we get.” He smoothed his hand over my cheek, heating it instantly, the warmth flowing through the rest of me. “You must go, be in show. Maybe I come see you.”

  I nodded and smiled. “I will have tickets for you on opening night. Really good seats so I can know you’re there.” I turned as Chet walked back up, dressed in his regular clothes.

  “Are you going to drive home and call Payton from there or stay here to make the call?” Chet checked his watch. “I guess we’ll wait here.” He dropped the bag of wet things.

  I sat with Luka, shifting nervously, running sand through my fingers until I couldn’t wait any longer and made the call.

  “This is Payton.”

  “Hey….” I tried to sound upbeat. “It’s Jonah. Sorry I missed your call.”

  “Just a second,” he said, and I waited a bit before he returned.

  “I take it you have an audition for me?” I asked.

  “Better. I have a real statement of interest. Robert is putting together another touring company of Wicked. There is already a show in Chicago and Philadelphia, but more cities are lining up to host the show. They want to put together a second traveling company, and they want you for Fiyero. Robert saw you again a few weeks ago and thought you were brilliant. Apparently he has seen you in multiple shows and has been waiting for things to line up, and they seem to be now. He called me personally yesterday about your availability, and he wants to meet with you.”

  Part of me was ecstatic. That was the chance of a lifetime. It was the male lead and a real chance to make a name for myself.

  “Wait, a traveling show?” I asked, turning to Luka as my plans sprouted wings and flew up through the trees. Those shows were on the road for months at a time, and yes, I could fly back, but coming from California or Houston for a few days just wasn’t convenient. I’d be wiped out, and then I’d have to get right back.

  “Yes. But it’s a lead. And now that the word is really out, we can see if we get anything better, of course. But he wants to meet with you on Monday, first thing. Be here at eight, and we’ll go to his office together.” Payton was so excited he could barely contain himself. “The offer is substantial, and he hinted that in six months or so, the Fiyero here in New York is leaving the show and you’d be considered to replace him.” He nearly squealed.

  “Okay.” I faked some enthusiasm. “It sounds great. I’ll wrap things up here and take the train back Sunday morning. You can call me if anything else comes up.” I cleared my throat. “What about Chet? Is there anything for him? He’s here with me.”

  Payton chuckled. “I should have guessed. I’m working on things for him too. Don’t worry. You were who I got a call about first. See you Monday.” He hung up, and I dropped the phone on the blanket.

  “You go back?”

  I nodded. “Sunday. I have to arrange for a train when I get to the house.” It didn’t escape me just how easily I slipped into the mode of going back to New York. It held little of the joy I would have expected on the day my previous show closed. Calls like this were what most actors lived for. It would mean having my name up on the marquee and maybe getting some publicity in my own right. Payton was correct—this was an amazing chance, and giving it up….

  I turned to Luka, and what little happiness had sprouted fell away. I was leaving him, and not just for a few days or weeks until I could come back. This job would mean being on the road for months, and the chances of me being able to see him would be few. I intended to tell him, but not right now. There were a ton of things that could go wrong. A part being discussed was never final until a contract was signed. I needed to know the details, and until then, there was no need to yank the rug of hope out from under him.

  Hell, who was I kidding? It was my own hopes I was hanging on to as tightly as I could.

  “Do you want to swim some more?” I jumped up. “Last one in bottoms.” I headed for the water with a glance over my shoulder. Luka zoomed past, plunged in, and then jumped up, grabbing me around the waist. We both ended up under the water and came up laughing. I didn’t mind losing in the least.

  Chapter 9

  TIME FLEW so fast. It seemed we were at the lake swimming and then, in the blink of an eye and the gasp of breath-stealing passion, it was Sunday morning. I had booked a late-morning train for Chet and me. Luka was going to take us to the station and drive the car back to the house to store it in the garage. He had also said he would watch the house. I had his phone number, but it was one of those prepaid phones, so I knew to be judicious with the minutes and texts because each would cost him. Still, the number was in my wallet as well as my phone.

  The sun was only beginning to lighten the windows and I was already awake—had been for a while, just thinking. I carefully got out of bed, not wanting to wake Luka. After grabbing some shorts, I pulled the door closed, stepped into them, and walked across the landing to Uncle Samuel’s room. I pushed the door open and stepped into the large room. His queen-sized bed caught my eye, the covers sharp and still made, as though waiting for him to return. Over the last couple of days, I’d cleaned out most of his clothes, taking them to Goodwill. The dark wood dresser stood empty, as did the closets. I still hadn’t been able to bring myself to use the room, but the next time I visited, I would.

  The letter from Uncle Samuel rested on top of the dresser, and I picked it up again, read it through, and put it back in the envelope, leaving it on the dresser. “I’m doing my best, Uncle Samuel. I did what you said. I found someone to love, and now my life is calling me back. I wish I knew what to do.”

  The answer, of course, was simple. I had to make a decision when I wanted both. I wanted the job of a lifetime, and I wanted to be here with Luka. That’s what I fucking wanted.

  “I hope you’re happy, and I hope William was waiting for you. I haven’t figured out what to do with your ashes, but I’m going to leave them in the house until I return. I thought of burying you with the family, but figured you wouldn’t want that, so maybe you’ll be the
first in the columbarium. I hope that’s okay.” I figured I’d move Uncle Samuel to his bedroom and he could stay there until I came back and figured out what to do permanently.

  “What you doing?” Luka asked as he padded into the room, naked as anything.

  I jumped up and pushed the door closed. “I was talking to Uncle Samuel. What are you doing running around naked? Chet is here, and I don’t want to peel his tongue off the damn floor.”

  “Why you talk to Samuel? He dead.”

  I shrugged. “I think it made me feel better.” I tugged Luka to me and rested my head on his chest, listing to the faint beat of his heart. My hands wandered, and soon they were exploring certain ample, sexy parts of his anatomy. His chuckles shifted to groans, and I backed away. “Come on. Let’s go back to bed so we can create something to remember.”

  I opened the door, made sure Chet’s door was closed, then led Luka back to the other bedroom, and kicked the door closed as I pushed him toward the bed.

  There was no holding back. I threw myself on Luka, shedding my shorts in a desperate effort to get as close to him as possible. He wrapped his arms around me, stroked my back, and, winding lower, gripped my buttcheeks firmly, pressing our hips together.

  I was hard as nails and grew even more heated as he thrust his cock along mine. I bit my lower lip to keep from crying out as Luka bucked against me. He pulled me closer, kissing away the cries and threatening screams, swallowing the sound, taking it into himself, sharing my energy and giving it back.

  “Want you,” I whispered when I had enough control not to yell, and he cupped my cheeks in his hot, strong hands, guiding me so our gazes locked and I knew soul-deep happiness.