Knocked Up by the Alien Hottie

by Laney Kaye

  KNOCKED UP BY THE ALIEN HOTTIE

  A flirty, dirty, shorty romcom

  The Warriors of Crasasi, Episode Two

  by

  Laney Kaye

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  The use of artist and song titles, locations, and products throughout this book are done so for storytelling purposes and should in no way be seen as advertisement. Trademark names are used in an editorial fashion, with no intention of infringement of the respective owner’s trademark.

  Copyright © Laney Kaye 2019

  All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book, in part or in whole, in any form whatsoever without the prior written permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law.

  ASIN: B07YRQLYTK

  BOOKS BY LANEY KAYE

  THE SPIRIT OF OHANA CRUISE SHIP SERIES

  Hawaiian Hurricane

  Hawaiian Taboo

  BENT, NOT BROKEN SERIES

  Malicious Desire

  THE LURE OF THE MER SERIES

  Hook

  Line

  Amazon

  The Wild Rose Press

  FLIRTY, DIRTY, SHORTY ROMCOM SERIES

  Abducted by the Alien Hottie

  Knocked up by the Alien Hottie

  Adored by the Alien Hottie

  CAT SHIFTERS OF AAIDAR SERIES

  Escape

  Engage

  Ensnare

  Endings

  FRACTURED FAIRYTALES & MANGLED MYTHS:

  ALIEN ABDUCTION SERIES

  Beast's Beauty

  Minotaur's Mate

  BENT, NOT BROKEN SERIES

  Malicious Desire

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  Knocked up by the Alien Hottie

  …a flirty, dirty, shorty romcom

  The Warriors of Crasasi: Episode Two

  Tennn (yes, that is his real name, and he is all that — plus about two inches more). Anyway, Tennn abducted me — no, wait, rewind. Can I call it abduction, when I was basically screaming ‘take me’?

  Anyway, Tennn had a job to do: deliver me to the flesh-traders at Daorheris. But now he’s had a taste of me, and I’ve had rather more than a handful of him, he seems happy to delay that eventuality.

  Aided by his comrades, who are eager to serve their commander and king-to-be, we’ve come up with a new plan. And, if it happens to be one that allows my man-starved — and still earth-bound — sister, Aurora, to experience the star-spinning talents of a Crasasi warrior, hey, I can be generous.

  But who should I choose to pair her with? Xander, who harbors a deep love of reading? Or Yanno, with his alpha domination tendencies?

  Of course, my sister is a librarian…

  Chapter One

  Stella

  It was kind of awkward dragging my uniform coveralls back on. Though the fabric was super smooth and soft, like the finest bamboo fiber, the, ah, lubrication resulting from Tennn and my little interlude was definitely not enough to make pulling on clothes any easier.

  No, that was wrong. There was certainly enough lube; it just wasn’t of the right viscosity. In fact, struggling into the pale pink garment Tennn handed me was like trying to clamber into a wet swimsuit. One that was several sizes too small. Not that there’d ever been any other kind of swimsuit in the history of woman, according to my experience. But you’d have thought alien tech would have the issue covered.

  Never mind the tech; my alien lover wasn’t really helping, either, though he did act like having his hand parked on my butt beneath my clothing should be of huge assistance.

  It was about as much help as the agile tip of his tail toying with my nipple while I struggled with the unfamiliar fasteners that ran up the front of the suit.

  Eventually, I snorted in exasperation, half-slapping at Tennn’s tail. “I thought you wanted me to get dressed?”

  He grinned, doing the double wink thing that turned me on faster than a flick mixer. Made me about as wet, too. Not that a wink in itself was sexy; human men had finally cottoned on to that fact a few decades ago. But an alien wink, where one set of almost-transparent eyelids closed horizontally before the second set of ‘normal’ lids flickered down? Beam me up, Scotty. Or tie me down and have your way with me.

  Tennn’s fingers followed the path seared by his tail, the slightly roughened pads tickling my nipple. “I only want you clothed so we can more discreetly cross the ship to my quarters. If Yanno and Xander see you like this,” his fingers ran down between my boobs and over my belly, before sliding between my slippery folds “I will be forced to take up a sword once more to keep you for myself.”

  “Oh, I’ve seen your sword,” I gurgled. I still couldn’t believe my luck. Back on Earth, we were starved for men. A huge population imbalance, which Tennn had informed me was due to a galaxy-wide viral infection, meant that women vastly outnumbered men, and sex had become a distant memory for many of us. But I’d somehow managed to persuade this alien warrior to abduct me…although there was probably an oxymoron in there somewhere. And now, out here, in the deep, dark reaches of space, my alien lover had spun me to the stars. Twice, in fact.

  Of course, he was on his way to trade me at the flesh markets but, hey, a girl had to take what she could get, right? I’d squeeze in as many more star spins as I could before that happened.

  I leaned in close to the tall, impossibly handsome alien — though, let’s face it. Sex-starved as I was, providing he didn’t have two heads and six hands, I was going to consider doing him. Come to think of it, six hands could have their uses…however, the fact that Tennn looked hotter than a Hemsworth sure didn’t reduce his attractiveness.

  With my index finger, I traced the tattoos that illuminated blue, pink, and purple tracks and paths beneath his pale skin. It was impossible to focus on the pattern as each tiny star seemed to shift or wink out of sight if I looked closely, much like they did in the night sky. But the piercings through his dark nipples — Kalex, he had called the jewelry — remained solidly intriguing. Each fine hoop appeared to be made of polished rock, one a thin black band spangled with glitter; the other clear, shining with an almost-blue inner luminosity.

  I ran a finger around the aquamarine hoop and then tugged gently.

  Tennn’s nipple hardened and his dick stirred against my stomach.

  Well, it was more like a jab with a steel pole, than a stir.

  “Are you kidding me?” I raised my eyebrows.

  “Kidding?”

  “Pulling my leg.”

  Poor Tennn looked more confused than ever and even glanced at my legs as if to check whether he’d inadvertently yanked on them.

  “I mean, are you joking?” I clarified.

  “About what, my Stella?” he murmured as he leaned into me, both hands smoothing the wild tendrils of hair from my face.

  “I mean with this?” I flapped a hand toward his sizable male parts.

  “You think my yakeet is a joke?” He sounded more than a little hurt.

  “No, no,” I gabbled. “That sausage is definitely no laughing matter! What I mean is, I know for a fact that you, uh, just…you know,” I patted at my face, suddenly over-heated despite the arctic air-conditioning in the craft. “So, how can you be hard again?”

  “I only unloaded a single storage unit.”

  My turn to frown uncomprehen
dingly.

  Tennn took my hand, shifting it to cup his balls. Well, one of them, to be precise. It wasn’t like I could have held two in one hand. I briefly wondered where he put them when he sat.

  He closed my fingers tighter on his silky skin. These aliens, or at least this alien, had another vital difference to human men; no pubes. Unless he’d had far better luck with the wax kit than I had?

  No matter the method, the end result was indisputably nice in my palm.

  “There is more here for you,” Tennn said as I reflexively squeezed and weighed my pound of alien flesh.

  “Okay!” My reply probably came out far too eager, but I’d always been a little greedy and totally advocated surrendering to desire. However, up until now, said desires had centered largely on Tim Tams, Vegemite on hot buttery toast, and dessert wines. But was this guy seriously saying he was good for more than one rodeo? Because, though he’d totally gotten me off with his mouth and his tail, and I’d gotten a kick out of reciprocating in what was apparently, to him, a very unfamiliar manner, I wanted more.

  “But not right now,” Tennn said, wrapping his long fingers around my wrist. Really long fingers, I suddenly noticed. I could imagine how they’d feel…

  “No?” I squeaked. “Are you sure? Why not?”

  A grin flashed across his face, and I noticed only one side of his mouth lifted with it, a faint white scar holding the other side in place. “Because, as the captain of Her Majesty’s craft, I am rather expected to be present on the flight deck for at least some of our transit hours.”

  “How long did you say the trip will take?” If the universal translator Tennn wore around his wrist was worth its salt, it would convert that to ‘how many orgasms is this trip?’ Because Tennn had definitely promised me more, and dammit, where was my phone? I should have recorded his statement as evidence, so he couldn’t renege. If we had only hours together, I needed to get what I could because nothing — on Earth or anywhere in the galaxies presumably spread around us — could match what this gigantic, sexy alien was offering.

  Tennn frowned, his shoulder muscles rippling as he extended a sinewy arm toward the immense window which looked out onto…space.

  I should be a lot more impressed by the once-in-a-lifetime view out there, but hey…once-in-a-lifetime naked alien dude standing right in front of me.

  Except, maybe his frown meant it was time I should let go of his balls.

  Ball.

  I released my hold reluctantly. I mean, what a waste; the guy’s dick was nudging up against my ribs — which, extra kudos to him, I hadn’t been able to locate since I was a teen — but he was stiff as an iron bar and streaking me with warm trails of precum. Which, I realized as I glanced down, glittered and sparkled like diamantes in a jeweler’s Christmas window display.

  I took a step back so I could look up at him properly, and licked my lips nervously. I’d always been good, played by the rules — including the dumb ones regarding no vibrators or porn. And I’d always been more than happy to do my bit to help with repopulating the nation, it wasn’t my fault there’d been no takers among our over-serviced men. Surely I deserved a break now?

  “There are only two lunar cycles until we reach Farisank, where we take on fuel and offload trade goods.” Tennn’s voice sounded heavy, as though he did not relish the idea of a refueling stop. He turned to the bundle of clothes on the floor and drew on his leather pants and then the long trench coat. I did my best not to whimper with disappointment as his pale, sinewy body disappeared from view.

  I assumed a lunar cycle meant a day, rather than a month. Or, more logically, a night. So, if we had only the equivalent of two days — wait! I choked a little on my sudden inhalation, but waved off Tennn’s concerned glance. How long did cystitis take to show up? It used to be called the honeymooners’ disease, a result of unusually frequent or vigorous intercourse. If I was ever to have either of those things to look forward to, it’d be thanks to Tennn. He might claim he was no longer a warrior, but that weapon of his was worthy of a knight’s jousting lance. Even though I’d be the first to complain that lack of personal experience meant I didn’t have much to compare it to, I had been hanging out on a farm in the Outback. I’d seen animals I could — Animals! Crap. “Tennn, where is my cat?”

  “The donkey-cat?”

  “That one.”

  “Xander has him.”

  “Is he safe?”

  Tennn’s eyebrows knit and he glanced toward the arched doorway through which I’d entered, an hour or more earlier, to catch the three huge aliens naked, Tennn’s tail swishing in gentle synchronicity as they bathed in the moonlight cascading through the massive window. Not a sight I’d forget anytime soon.

  The tense set of Tennn’s shoulders made it seem he was ready to bolt toward the door, and he slammed one hand against the large watch on his wrist that seemed to serve as a mini-computer and communicator. “Does the donkey-cat eat Crasasi?”

  “This week, he seems to prefer munching sausage,” I shrugged. Crasasi sounded vaguely familiar; it must be some kind of salami. In any case, Ol’ Gray couldn’t possibly be hungry yet.

  Though I guess we had missed breakfast, woken in the predawn hours in our remote camp by the arrival of these aliens.

  “Like you did?” Tennn grabbed his leather-clad groin protectively. His horizontal lids blinked rapidly. “It was very nice when you did it, my Stella, but I don’t believe Xander will care for that. Not from the donkey-cat, anyway.”

  “He — what, now?” I quickly replayed our conversation. Then I snorted with laughter. I’d hidden my embarrassment a few minutes ago by referring to Tennn’s yakeet as a sausage. Now he thought Ol’ Gray was going to blow Xander. The language differences weren’t exactly a barrier, but they sure made for some interesting mistakes. “No, no, that’s not what I meant.”

  I finished doing up my overalls to hide the jiggly bits that swayed with my sudden fit of the giggles. “I meant Ol’ Gray Donkey eats meat. But not that sort of meat,” I gestured at Tennn’s pants. And I really had to stop saying ‘meat’, as the connotations were making me all hot and wet again. My long-neglected girl bits throbbed anew with anticipation and a totally non-vegetarian hunger.

  What the heck; cystitis couldn’t be that bad, right? My fingers paused on the top fastener. “Don’t worry, Xander is safe with him. Unless gloomy is contagious.”

  “Your donkey-cat carries a disease?” This time, Tennn did press the unit on his wrist, bringing it toward his lips as he spoke. “Bridge. Isolate the donkey-cat immediately. The life form harbors a virus.”

  “No, no he doesn’t!” I lurched forward, grabbing Tennn’s arm. God, they’d probably exterminate Ol’ Gray if they thought he was diseased.

  “Hold that order.” Tennn covered his wrist with his hand and cocked an eyebrow at me. “Must the donkey-cat be isolated, or not? I do not understand what you say, my Stella.”

  As long as he kept calling me his Stella, he didn’t need to understand a whole lot. Pretty could get him a really long way in my books. Or, to be more geographically precise, in my knickers. “There’s no problem, I wormed and flea-treated him last week — though he did spit up a giant furball on my bed shortly after. But that was just his regular revenge spew. He should be fine.”

  By the time I’d delivered all this, rapid-fire, Tennn looked beyond bewildered. I patted his well-muscled arm — mainly because, despite our dalliance, it would probably be inappropriate to pat any further south at this point. I needed to be a responsible pet owner as Ol’ Gray had, in his completely disinterested manner, provided me company for a long time. “Just take me to him, I’ll make sure he’s fine.”

  Tennn nodded. “As you say. I will acquaint you with the layout of the craft. Not that there is need for you to know much of it.”

  “Yeah, I get it,” I said, my mouth twisting with disappointment. “Short trip.”

  “I meant that I intend for you to spend much of the time in my quarters. With your
agreement, of course.”

  In writing, in triplicate, if that’s how he wanted it. I only hoped he didn’t mean alone. “Lead on, Macduff.”

  “Tennn,” he said, tapping his fingers on his chest.

  Sigh. “Yep. Gotcha.” Maybe he thought I’d confused him with an old lover. Fat chance of that. He wasn’t comparable in any way.

  Tennn gestured toward the sliding panel through which the other men had disappeared. His dark coat swished as he strode toward it, the sound of leather brushing his calves a sexy whisper in the quiet.

  Quiet. Yeah, that was weird. Entire galaxies were scrolling past the viewing window — though I’d rather check them out on Tennn’s body, exploring just how far each skin map extended — so we were definitely moving. But there was no vibration, no engine noise, no sensation of movement.

  Not much chance of travel sickness in an alien craft, then.

  There was, however, a sweet, pungent smell drifting on the chilled air, which I couldn’t immediately place.

  I inhaled deeply as I followed Tennn into the corridor, then I clicked my fingers. “Got it!”

  “You have what?”

  “The smell in here. I know what it reminds me of. Thunderstorms.”

  Tennn nodded. “We have created an ozone-rich environment to fully charge your bodies, much as the lunar rays do for ours. But we also added the scent of petrichor, as that is a proven mood enhancer.”

  “Petrichor?” I lifted one shoulder.

  “You do not know of this?” His dark brows quirked. “It was discovered by Australian scientists.”

  “Probably Austrians, actually.” I darted a grin up at him as his hand moved to the small of my back to usher me along the broad, brightly-lit corridor.

  “I am certain they were not Austrian.” He tilted his head, accepting the jibe. “Petrichor is a mixture of plant chemicals and geosmin.”