Knocked Up by the Alien Hottie

by Laney Kaye

  I had to intercede before Yanno, who had at least dropped his aggressive attitude, went into full-on lecture mode. “Language difference, Yanno. This cum Stella speaks of is something different. Not Creatures-Unauthorized Management.”

  “Oh.” He frowned for a moment. “Oh!”

  Yup, that was the sound of the xasa dropping.

  Time for us to go before he replayed all of the conversation and caught on to Stella’s innuendo. Like me, Yanno and Xander went far too long without female company, thanks to the shortage. The guys were my comrades-in-arms and we were tighter than brothers. But I hadn’t been brought up to share. Call it Royal privilege. Call it greed. Call it whatever.

  Stella was mine.

  At least for now.

  I gestured for her to precede me to the entry hatch. Mostly so I could watch her buttocks wiggle beneath the tight stretch of fabric. Buttocks I’d reveal in just a few minutes’ time.

  “Wait. I’ll look after the donkey-cat if you wish,” Xander said.

  “He might not settle without me—” Stella started, but broke off as the foolish animal leapt from the softness of her embrace and stalked back to Xander.

  The lieutenant winced as the beast extended claws, dug them into Xander’s pants, and then dragged itself up his leg. Evidently, the creature had a need to establish dominance.

  “Well…I guess you know where to find me if he doesn’t settle?” Stella said, sounding a little uncertain. “Oh. And his name is Ol’ Gray Donkey. Or just Donkey. Not donkey-cat or cat-donkey.”

  Yanno shook his head. “Much of this human language and behavior is incomprehensible,” he muttered.

  “I’ll be in my quarters working on improving our cultural understanding, then,” I said.

  He snorted, but I caught the grin flash across his face.

  “Tennn?”

  As I reached the door, he called to me. I turned, my hand, which had been in the small of Stella’s back, sliding down to her buttocks, now that she was hidden by my bulk from the lieutenants’ view. “Yup?”

  “Two lunar cycles, right? No more.”

  My jaw suddenly tense, I nodded, determined to ignore the sinking feeling in my gut.

  Chapter Three

  Stella

  “Do we have to walk much farther?” I whined.

  “I could have taken you to a room closer to the command pod. But I wanted to make sure we wouldn’t be overheard,” Tennn said, observing me steadily. His eyelids shuttered horizontally, and my ovaries exploded.

  Damn it, I needed to keep my focus on sex, only. After the prolonged Guy Drought, that should be plenty for me. Plus, I’d already seen and tasted him; I knew he was plenty for me.

  “Why do you have ledges?” I asked trying to divert my thoughts as I joggled — a cross between a jiggle and a jog — to keep up with Tennn as he strode along. This corridor was shorter and narrower than the one we’d taken to the command pod.

  “What do you mean, my Stella?”

  I wasn’t possessive — well, hell, maybe I was, it wasn’t like I’d ever spent this much time in a guy’s company before — but I did wish Tennn would call me ‘my Stella’ in front of his crew. I liked the possessive sound of that. Very much.

  Which slightly irritated me.

  It was the government’s fault; if I’d been allowed a vibrator, I wouldn’t need a man. Well, not for anything other than breeding, anyway. I shot a sideways glance at Tennn and a thrill rippled through me. Imagine carrying his child? Like, my aching uterus would be thrilled if I got knocked up by literally anyone, yet I couldn’t help but envisage Tennn as the father of my baby. He’d be protective and sweet and possessive.

  I walked faster, trying to outpace the ridiculous thought.

  Tennn would have women of all races throwing themselves at him. I had to make the best of the lunar cycles I’d somehow won. It was surreal that he’d chosen to be with me. I mean, I didn’t hate on my chocolate-soothed self, I was what I was. But even so, I couldn’t pretend my proportions weren’t somewhat more generous than the women who generally managed to attract the few men we had available on Earth.

  Yet Tennn made it clear he had no issue with my form.

  Maybe his job meant he was stuck without female company for long stretches? Judging by the reactions of Xander and Yanno, taking a lover from among their abductees wasn’t a regular occurrence. But that was fine; if his interest was driven primarily by sexual starvation, I could definitely get down with that.

  Or go down on it, as I’d already proven.

  I lifted my chin toward a door leading off the narrow corridor. “The ledges at the bottom of some of the doors make this look like the interior of a submarine. They have high sills so they can close off sections of the vessel if there’s a leak, and prevent the whole thing flooding.” I knew that, as I’d done a tour of a sub once. Okay, more than once, because I’d hoped my luck might have changed between tour number one and tour number…five. I’d risked the embarrassment of potentially getting wedged in the entry hatch-thing to brave the narrow, vertical stairs because I’d been assured the submarines were full of semen.

  Seamen.

  Whichever.

  Preferably, both.

  Unfortunately, as with most things Earthly, the majority of the crew on each submarine had been female.

  “A vessel that travels underwater?” Tennn frowned at his wrist and I figured he was checking with IAME. “We have those.”

  “I’d have expected a spaceship to be all smooth surfaces.”

  “There are certainly some smooth surfaces I look forward to investigating.” A smile tipped the corner of Tennn’s lips.

  Damn, one sideways glance from him was enough to tingle goosebumps all the way to my toes.

  At least, that was the clean version of what his glance did. I licked my lips and stuttered to find my words. “L-like the wide corridor with the travellator, I mean.”

  He nodded at one of the doors. “These serve a similar purpose to that which you describe on your aqua-craft. Each transportee has private quarters in these corridors and the areas must be cleansed after each journey. If we were to collect an infected specimen, we are able to close off the section and thoroughly fumigate.”

  “But don’t you use…I don’t know, some kind of spray to do that. Like CUM?” The acronym popped into my head, and I couldn’t suppress a grin.

  “You are very interested in CUM, yes, my Stella?” Tennn’s eyes glinted, and I knew he’d twigged my innuendo. Excellent. Nothing was hotter than word banter.

  I let my gaze drift down his tall body: well, almost nothing.

  “But, although it seems relatively low-tech, an aqueous solution works best,” he said.

  “So, a bucket of water, a mop and disinfectant wins, huh?” I scowled at the doors as we passed them. Nope. I refused to be jealous. But I couldn’t avoid the knowledge that in those rooms were other women.

  Women who would surely find Tennn just as desirable as I did.

  Women who Tennn clearly hadn’t personally collected, or he could have had his choice.

  I frowned as the faint sound of sobbing came from behind a closed door. “What’s that? I thought you said all the women were here willingly?”

  “They are consensual, yes.”

  I paused, staring at the door. “Dude, you may have to revisit your understanding of consent.”

  “Revisit? Why is that?”

  I jerked a thumb toward the door. “In my — okay, very limited — experience, that’s not what enthusiastic consent sounds like.”

  Tennn looked sheepish. “I admit, I do turn my translator off in this corridor. Human women seem to be both confusing and confused. They wish to leave Earth, yet still they mourn that which they have left behind and will never see again.”

  “Never see again…you mean, this is a one-way trip?” Holy crap. Alien flesh-traders. Women for sale. Of course this was a one-way trip! Why the heck had I been considering it like a sex-filled vacation? M
y lips trembled as I thought of my sister, Aurora.

  I guess I could understand why these women sobbed, even though their dreams were coming true.

  Tennn stepped closer, his hand tilting my chin up, his gaze riveted on my lips.

  And, just looking up at his handsome face, I knew my dreams were coming true, too. I’d trade my entire life on Earth for a few lunar cycles with this guy, then take whatever adventure followed. Aurora would understand. Especially if I could find a way to send her a dick pic.

  That wasn’t weird, right, from one girl to another?

  Tennn traced his thumb over my lips. “Are you concerned for the manner in which the transportees are kept, my Stella?”

  Uh, sure. Totally where my mind had been. Color me the caring, philanthropic type. I nodded and shrugged, rather than lie to him outright.

  He held his hand up to extend his wristcomm toward the door we had stopped at. “Come, I shall show you, my Stella. The quarters are luxurious. Actually, better than my own, as you shall see. Women are a gift, and we are honored by them choosing to come with us. We treat them accordingly.”

  No! I didn’t want him to go in there, to view my competition! I’d far rather they were kept behind locked doors. “Uh, that’s fine. So, who usually does your abductions — I mean, collections? Yanno and Xander?” I rattled off, trying to distract him.

  Stupid IAME swished the door open, revealing another short corridor with three doors opening to the left. The now-quieted sobbing seemed to come from the furthest door.

  Tennn shook his head. “We work together. These ships are crewed with three men because that has proven the safest number to provide the necessary combination of navigation, guard, and Persuader.”

  “I thought you didn’t have to do any persuading?”

  Tennn’s long coat brushed against me as he lifted one huge shoulder. “That is simply a title. It’s more a case of memorizing a set piece to recite.”

  “The ‘We Come in Peace’ bit, you mean?” I adopted a sonorous, melodramatic voice. It came out sounding more Dracula than Alien Invasion, and I sniggered.

  “Precisely.” Tennn looked surprised that I knew his spiel.

  What could I say? Way too many nights bingeing sci-fi flicks. Alone. Except for a mountain of corn chip packets and chocolate wrappers.

  Which reminded me, I was kind of hungry.

  But Tennn stood back, gesturing for me to go ahead of him into the corridor.

  Bugger.

  The corridor — no, it was more an entry hall, with a high, ornate ceiling, and beautiful photographic works of flowers and forest scenes adorning the soft oatmeal-colored walls — still held the ozone smell of the rest of the ship, but it was layered with a cheery mix of frangipani, reminding me of the flower-laden trees lining the streets in the tropical north of Australia. Which suddenly seemed very far away.

  As it was.

  Tennn guided me into the first room on the left. Like most things on this ship, it was enormous. But beautiful. A cross between a living area and a bedroom, everything was presented in shades of ecru and white, from the luxurious bed — which had to be at least king-size — to the dense fur throw on the floor. The headboard of the bed was padded in fabric liberally sprinkled with printed flowers, and the same flowers were in vases dotted on occasional tables and shelves around the room.

  Additional blankets, in a pleasing palette that graduated from white to beige, were piled on a polished wooden chest at the foot of the bed. More polished tables flanked the bed, and a plush lounge and recliner adorned with soft-looking throws faced a well-stocked bookshelf, complete with gooseneck lamps either side. The room looked like an advert for the most gorgeous B&B ever.

  My mouth hanging open, I wandered toward the lacy curtains that elegantly billowed either side of a window which looked out onto a serene lake. The sun reflected brightly off the mirror-like surface. Snow-capped mountains shone in the far distance while, closer to us, what appeared to be fairytale castles and colorful houses clung to the steep slopes among verdant green trees.

  Wait. A lake? And billowing curtains? “We’re already at Farisank?” My stomach sank to the bottom of my naked — and slightly grubby — feet. The view was lovely, though.

  “No, no. We are light years from Farisank, still. The window is, of course, a giant vidcom screen,” Tennn said.

  Well, of course, duh. Like I’d been fooled for a moment. But wait! “It opens, though.” I gestured at the shivering curtains.

  “A tangible effect created and monitored by IAME. If we had been prepared for you to join us, the view would have been different. More of that odd-colored desert and few trees, I expect. And the window dressing would have matched that of your house.” He waved at the view. I mean, screen. “I suspect this scene of Lake Worthersee is as unfamiliar to you as it is to me?”

  “Worth a see? You’re kidding me, right?”

  I waited a beat for him to check with IAME and then get confused about baby goats, but he seemed familiar with the term. “Kidding you? No. That is the name of this Austrian Lake.”

  “Austria, huh? Figures I’d have to go to Outer Space to see something of Earth, doesn’t it?” I muttered, trying to ignore the impulse to stick my hand through the apparently open window. “But red desert wouldn’t have been much like home to me.”

  Tennn raised his brow questioningly. “Yet that is what I saw where we collected you. Red snow — I mean, sand — rocks and dead trees.”

  “I only moved there recently.”

  “Moved there? You mean you transited through like we do on this craft?”

  “No, I moved there to live.” As Tennn screwed up his face — which my presence seemed to cause him to do frequently, I continued. “Don’t your…people…move around?”

  “We move, as you see, for missions or to work or to fight. But our home? No. It is forever. Where our clan lives. Does your clan move with you?”

  “My clan is only one person, I guess. And, no.” I bit at my thumbnail, staring out of the window. Or staring at the screen, I guess. My clan was small, but I loved her.

  And I’d miss being able to fly home to her every month.

  Sudden uncertainty clenched my lungs.

  “Why did you move then, my Stella?”

  “In search of…well…” I might as well be frank. Tennn had enough trouble understanding without me deliberately muddying the explanation. “In search of a husband.” Again, the eyebrows. Great, like saying it once wasn’t excruciating enough. “A partner?” I tried. “No?” What word had Xander used? “A life mate.” My fingers moved reflexively to where Tennn had marked my face, noting me as his life mate. Accidentally, as he’d been at pains to point out.

  “But did you not tell Yanno that you sought adventure? How is this compatible with seeking a mate?”

  “Well, rumor has it, the two aren’t mutually exclusive. Not that I’m ever going to find out.”

  “This I do not understand, my Stella.”

  “Shortage of dudes on Earth, remember? So, no mate for me.”

  “But surely you are a prize for those men that remain?”

  I snorted. “If wishes were fishes, I’d be…I don’t know. A pescatarian, I suppose.”

  “This I do not understand.”

  “Joke. A pescatarian eats only fish, so…ugh, don’t worry about it.” Too hard to explain the old rhyme I’d mangled.

  “No, the meaning of that word I understand.” He tapped his link to IAME. “I do not understand how you do not have a mate if you wish it to be so.”

  “Aaaanyway,” I drew out the word as I crossed to a huge wardrobe, opening it to cover my embarrassment and distract Tennn from his line of questioning. “What the—?” I ran my hand across the few neatly-hung clothes in the cupboard. “Tennn, the girl whose place I took” — I felt a stab of guilt at the thought I’d stolen a place from someone who had wanted to escape Earth even more than I had, someone who’d talked and dreamed about it. Evidently to the hairdresse
r/doctor/whoever tattooed her, marking her for collection.

  One glance back at Tennn had me stuff that guilt way back down inside faster than I’d stuff a Krispy Kreme on diet cheat day. “The woman you were supposed to collect from Austria. Did you agree to take me just because we’re the same size?” Though that made no sense, as Tennn hadn’t originally been planning on showing me this room.

  Tennn followed my glance to the clothes as I fingered through them. “The clothing is standard-issue. As is the garb you wear.”

  “What do you mean ‘standard’?” Sudden excitement thrummed through me so hard, it was lucky I’d not had my morning coffee or I’d definitely be needing to pee. “Are your women all this size?”

  “Crasasi women, sadly not. Generations of illness has wasted them.” He looked a little shamefaced and quickly added, “Not that they are any less beautiful. However, as it is hard for us to assess beauty in other races, yet we wish to maximize the xasa we earn at market, we take only women that fit our specifications, who are appealing to our eyes. For a green-blooded Crasasi male, the ultimate fantasy woman is—” he gestured toward the wardrobe, then swept a hand down, indicating the entirety of my less-than-glamorously-clad body “You.”

  He had to be kidding. I was well aware I was rocking an overstuffed potato-sack look, but at least it covered up more than my raggedy sleep shorts and tee had. Fact was, I’d felt more confident naked, knowing Tennn’s attention was focused on certain parts.

  But could he really mean that my form exemplified beauty among his race?

  Fidgeting with the snaps on my coverall, I dropped my gaze while I processed.

  The leather pants he wore sure were tight.

  And they did nothing to hide the evidence of the truth of his statement.

  Hell, why was I overthinking this? If I thought too much, my head would explode with all the possibilities, or, rather, impossibilities: me, Stella Carragher, a plump thirty-something teacher willingly abducted by aliens from the middle of the Australian desert, being flown across the galaxies in a spaceship, and hit on by the freaking hottest alien dude ever?