Honored Vow

by Mary Calmes

  “You shift so fast for Logan,” Crane told me. “But not for the rest of us.”

  I heard his voice tremble. “You guys were worried I wasn’t shifting back.”

  They didn’t need to answer me for me to know it was true.

  “Did anyone else see me in my nekhene form?”

  “Everyone,” Yuri told me. “All those rubberneckers you saw. And you scared the crap out of all of them, the entire tribe of Khertet, their semel, all the other yareahs and their retinues, and Danny,” he finished with a heavy sigh.

  I looked at him through the plastic as warm water sluiced over me. “But not you guys, right? You weren’t scared, were you, Yuri?”

  “No, my reah.” He smiled at me. “You never scare me or any of those that truly know you and your heart.”

  “And no one from my tribe was—”

  “No,” Crane assured me, passing shampoo and shower gel in through the folds of the shower to me. “Now hurry up before we all freeze.”

  I showered as fast as I could, but there was still ice in my hair when I stepped inside the ger twenty minutes later.

  Everyone was there, sitting, sipping hot tea, bundled up. After I changed behind the partition, I joined them, taking a seat beside Mikhail in the circle.

  “God, it must be late.” Danny yawned, sharing a heavy quilt with Andrian, leaning against him.

  “It is,” Yuri agreed, also having changed, ready to take a seat.

  Domin looked up, and I saw my sheseru’s cobalt eyes hit those of my maahes. He lifted the quilt, inviting, and Yuri sat down beside him, letting Domin put the cover around him before he scooted close, pressing into the smaller man’s side.

  The muscles in Yuri’s jaw flexed, quivered, and I wondered about that for a second before Crane dropped down beside me and wrapped me in a heavy quilt, getting comfortable, shoulder to shoulder with me.

  “Yuri.”

  My sheseru looked over at Danny.

  “Are you ready for the challenge today?”

  He nodded, his eyes drooping. “I am, I just—I need to sleep, and even though I’m exhausted, I don’t think I can.”

  “You can,” Domin told him. “And we all should.”

  “Agreed,” Mikhail said, and as he was the sylvan in our midst, we all deferred to him.

  I asked Yuri to take the partition down because I didn’t want to be separated from the others even by a slip of silken gauze. He smiled at me as he removed it.

  A half an hour later, snuggled between Crane and Mikhail, I fell asleep fast, exhaustion blindsiding me.

  THE scent of arousal woke me, hard and aching, three hours later. I sat up and looked around and instantly was pulled back down. I was faced with eyes glinting in the darkness, those of my sylvan.

  “What’re you doing?” I whispered.

  “If you make a fuckin’ noise and do anything to mess this up for him—reah or no reah, I swear to God I will smother you to death with your pillow.”

  I was still asleep, I had to be.

  “Did you hear me?”

  “What are you talking about?” I said under my breath, being quiet enough that no one but him, or Crane on the other side, could have heard me.

  He made a sign for me to lift up a little.

  I moved just enough to see over the top of his head, and there, in the flickering glow of the lanterns, on the furs closest to the stove, were Yuri and Domin.

  Yuri was positioned facedown with his ass in the air. His hand was on his enormous rigid shaft, jerking, tugging, pulling as he strove for release at the same time Domin pistoned inside of him from behind. Domin’s hands were braced on Yuri’s flanks, and if the look on the face of my sheseru was any indication, he was teetering on the edge of a shattering orgasm. I had never seen the look of absolute bliss on the man’s face before, ever.

  My head thunked down as I turned to look at Mikhail. “Since when?”

  “Since when what?” he answered, which was impressively done because I “heard” every word without him making any noise at all. He enunciated perfectly.

  “Yuri likes Domin?”

  He pointed beside me, and when I turned, I saw that over Crane’s left shoulder was where all the luggage had been stacked. It was quite the pile, and at that moment it could not have been more perfect.

  It took long minutes of maneuvering to get us both over my best friend, who luckily slept like the dead, and down on the other side of the suitcase, duffel bag, and backpack mountain. As I faced a grinning Mikhail, I realized that in all the time I’d known the man, I could count the times he’d smiled at me. He was not a man given to shows of affection.

  “Talk.”

  He shrugged broad shoulders as we huddled close together, whispering. “Yuri Kosa has been in love with Domin Thorne since he was sixteen years old.”

  “What? How?”

  “Why would Logan just allow a man that tried to kill him to be his maahes? Why would he care about that man’s tribe?”

  “Logan cares about all tribes, he cares about everyone.”

  “Not enough to allow a viper into his home.”

  “He let Abbot George into the house, and he nearly killed me,” I reminded my sylvan.

  “He let a sheseru in training into his home, but he never thought for a minute that someone wouldn’t be there with you at all times. He was certain that Yuri would never leave you unattended with Abbot.”

  “That wasn’t Yuri’s fault,” I defended him.

  “It was Yuri’s fault,” Mikhail told me. “But that was when he thought that everyone was as mindful as him. He thought that you would be fine because the burden of the protection didn’t just fall to him. Now he knows better.”

  “But then—”

  “But we’re talking about before that, we’re talking about when it was brand new—Logan would have never let anyone he didn’t know live in his house. Abbot was visiting; I’m talking about a permanent fixture in the house. Why would he do that?”

  “Why would he do that?” I echoed the question.

  “Think.”

  “Because Logan and Domin had history,” I said, the truth hitting me.

  “Exactly.”

  “Why didn’t he explain?”

  “It has nothing to do with you.”

  “Tell me.”

  “We all went to school together: me, Logan, Yuri, Domin, and Christophe. We’ve known each other forever. But Domin never saw Yuri, only Logan and then Koren.”

  “Domin had a crush on Logan?”

  “We all had a crush on Logan; it’s the lure of the semel. When they first shift, their pheromones—you know, it’s crazy; all anyone wants to do is roll over and submit, men and women alike.”

  It was true; a semel’s first shift was a heady thing for the entire tribe.

  “You don’t know until later, until you sort things out, whether what you’re feeling is real or not. Me and Christophe figured out that we were straight, Yuri that he was bi, and Domin that he was gay. But then when Domin shifted, Yuri knew who he really wanted in the whole forever-and-ever way.”

  I nodded. “And when Christophe shifted?”

  “Christophe’s shift came so long after Logan’s and Domin’s that by then Logan had asked me to be his sylvan and Yuri to be his sheseru, so we were all separated already.”

  “How did Domin choose Ivan and Markel?”

  “He met Markel at a club, and they got in a fight that ended with Domin holding him down and asking him to be his sheseru, and Ivan was the son of Domin’s father’s sylvan, so it made sense.”

  “I see.”

  “It’s great that Logan’s going to make them both akers when we get home, they deserve that.”

  “Yes, they do.”

  He waited for what I would say next.

  “So because Logan and Domin had a history, that’s why he made him his maahes.”

  He widened his eyes, gave me a subtle nod of his head.

  I heard breath catch from the other
side of the ger, there was a hiss of pain/pleasure, and then purring, whining, and soft, urgent whimpering. Scents came as well, the tell-tale smell of semen and sweat.

  Leaning sideways so I could see around the mound, I saw Yuri’s head twisted back, over his shoulder, and Domin kissing him hard, grinding his mouth down over my sheseru’s, claiming him. Yuri’s tears surprised me, as did his trembling and the low moan that escaped as Domin fisted his hand in the bigger man’s hair, holding tight. The angle, the pressure, Domin’s weight—the entire action was suggestive of a kind of domination that I would have never guessed that my hulking, scary sheseru wanted.

  Low growl, and I turned back to Mikhail. “What?”

  “Stop that,” he scolded me.

  “But they’re so pretty together.” I smiled at my sylvan. “And hot.”

  His scowl was dark.

  “You knew, all this time.”

  “Of course.” He squinted at me. “Like you know Crane, I know Yuri.”

  “And so Yuri’s been what, pining away?”

  “Not pining, hoping.”

  “Hoping that Domin would get over Koren?”

  “And every other guy,” Mikhail grunted, and even in the quiet I could hear the bitterness in his tone. “Yuri’s been breaking his heart over Domin since he was sixteen, like I said.”

  “Sex changes nothing.”

  He shook his head. “It will, you’ll see. Domin’s not stupid anymore, when he feels the love that’s there, ready, waiting, he’ll claim it. Before, when he was a semel, he was a self-destructive, vain, egoistical piece of shit. But when Logan beat him in the pit, made him maahes, he started to change. I mean, Yuri died a little when he started up with Koren, but I knew it was only a matter of time.”

  “What?”

  “I knew it wouldn’t last.”

  I studied his profile in the darkness.

  “Jin?”

  “Domin wanted Koren for a long time.”

  “And my guess is that it was mutual.”

  “But?”

  “But this is Koren we’re talking about.”

  I thought about that.

  “What?”

  “I was so happy when Koren finally stood up for Domin, when he took a stand and said that Domin was the one he loved.”

  “He never said that,” Mikhail corrected me. “He showed the man affection in front of the rest of us, but there were never any words. You told Logan’s father that if Koren became Domin’s mate it would be cause for celebration, but Koren never chimed in that that was what he wanted. Think back, it wasn’t.”

  And he was right, but I didn’t want him to be. I still wanted to think of Koren as wanting Domin at least at one time.

  “Koren’s always been like that, Jin. He’s different from Logan and Russ and Delphine; he’s never had any backbone at all. They all look alike, even her, but that’s as far as it goes.”

  “You don’t like him.”

  “No, I never did, but I didn’t start hating him until he was dicking Domin around, because while he was doing that, he was killing Yuri too.”

  I stared at Mikhail and realized that we never talked, just him and me. I had really been missing out.

  “But this time, Koren made it permanent. He finally cut deep enough to sever the bond between him and Domin.”

  And I had felt that too.

  “Domin’s finally over it. He grew his spine back, and for once I’m glad.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Did you see him that last night with Logan before we came here?”

  I had, I just didn’t think anyone else did. “He seemed like he wasn’t bleeding over Koren anymore,” I whispered back.

  He nodded.

  “So maybe he can finally see Yuri.”

  “God, I hope so,” Mikhail sighed softly. “I want it for him so fuckin’ bad.”

  “You want what?”

  “I want Yuri to get what he deserves.”

  We were silent and heard the rustling, the movement, as two bodies that had been involved in something that resisted cold were finally at a stopping place and so were assaulted by the frigid air.

  I held my breath, and so did Mikhail.

  When it was quiet again, both of us lifted up because, shit, we had to look. We had to see.

  Domin was on his side and Yuri was spooned around him, his face nuzzled into Domin’s hair, his bicep under the smaller man’s head. I watched Yuri’s nostrils flare, Domin’s scent causing him to sigh contently.

  I sat back down at the same time Mikhail did.

  “You know, you worrying about Yuri’s happiness—that’s kind of great.”

  “It’s what you do for your friends.”

  And when he turned and smiled at me, I fell in love with him just a little.

  Chapter Fifteen

  THE trial of blood was vicious. Everything I thought it would be was wrong. I had pictured a sheseru in the center of the pit standing still using only his pheromones and willpower to basically calm the raging panthers that came at him one after another. From the texts, from everything I had ever read, that was my understanding.

  What I sat and witnessed was simply an attack. The sheseru was put into the pit and eight panthers were released, and he used brute force to either wrestle them into submission, render them unconscious, or kill them. When I realized that all it was, was a brawl, I was thankful that Yuri had worked so hard, day and night, building up his stamina, his muscles, and his agility. It did not make it easier to watch.

  The khatyu were all from the tribe of Rahotep, and I was thankful at least that these were men loyal to Ammon and not members of the tribe of Khertet. I didn’t like the idea of the host tribe losing members because of my household even if it was a trial. Normally any cats participating in a challenge where they attacked another were paid menat, or tribute, and this was passed to their families. So if Ammon’s men were killed, their families would be compensated. I hated the practice that seemed, in my opinion, a way for the semel in charge of the challenges to feel better about the fact that even if men were dying, their families would be cared for. And while I liked that, liked knowing that the tribe itself would care for its own and take responsibility, I understood that trials themselves were antiquated and, as Logan’s little brother was fond of saying, barbaric.

  Watching Yuri fight for his life amidst snapping jaws and shredding claws, feeling the bloodlust that filled the pit, was brutal. I held my breath knowing that one slip, one wrong turn, a second of hesitation, indecision, would allow my sheseru to be slaughtered. I was nauseous watching it, but to look away, even for a second, would shame Yuri. My regard was as important as his defense of Logan and the display of his power so that others could see that the tribe of Mafdet had a fearsome sheseru.

  When it was finally done, Yuri Kosa still stood, washed in blood, his and others’, but the important part was that he was on his feet. The second the priest called his challenge done, they released Logan into the pit with him. This was the final stage, to see if the shifted semel in his werepanther form would tear his bloody, bruised sheseru to shreds.

  Logan flew over to Yuri, who slowly went to his knees, and when he was there, staring up at Logan Church, he simply waited for whatever came.

  My mate slid a clawed hand down his sheseru’s throat, leaned in, inhaled the scent of blood and sweat, nuzzled the wet hair, and then turned away, looking for me. When he saw me, he called out, and the long painful roar was hard to listen to after the carnage I had just been forced to witness.

  I wanted Yuri the hell out of there, I wanted Logan out of there, and I wanted us all on a plane flying home. When the priest proclaimed the trial concluded and Yuri victorious, I ran from the edge so I could throw up without anyone seeing.

  It was Yuri’s trial first, and then the sheseru of the tribe of Nebthet, and then the sheseru of the tribe of Reshep. It would take all day.

  AS IT turned out, I was not the only one who was sick. People fled at different inter
vals, and some didn’t make it out in time.

  The spectacle was ghastly, and no one was unaffected. When I was finally able to return to my quarters, dragging in after dark, numb and exhausted, still shaking, I found everyone there but Yuri and Domin.

  “Where are they?” I asked Mikhail.

  “Yuri had to shift and eat and drink, so Domin went with him once he had gorged on meat and drank more water than I even thought was possible.”

  “You saw him, though? You sat with him?”

  “I fed him,” he said, smiling at me. “And he’s sore and he needs to sleep and—”

  “He’ll probably have nightmares for weeks,” I said, flopping down beside the stove. I was tired of being cold too. I just wanted to go home.

  “Why would he have nightmares?” Mikhail seemed surprised.

  “Because he was attacked by panthers,” I said like it was obvious.

  “It was a trial, Jin, and Yuri can separate that in his head. He did what he did for Logan, for our tribe… for you. It’s over, and if he dreams about it at all, it won’t be the horror part, only the victory part.”

  “You’re so sure.”

  “Very. I’m very sure.”

  I was silent for a few minutes. “So he went to shift?”

  He looked at me. “That’s what he told everyone.”

  “But they needed to be alone.”

  “They took bedrolls, so the chances of you seeing your sheseru and your maahes before the morning are very slight,” Mikhail said with a chuckle. “Yuri is gonna do his damndest to make the man his before we go home. I’m sure he wishes this trip would never end.”

  “And all I want it to be is over.”

  “Agreed.” Mikhail sniffled, glancing around the room. “We’re all wrung out and ready to turn on each other.”

  “Who wants hot chocolate?” Crane asked as he walked over to us, beaming, eyes glinting china blue in the low light.

  “Most of us,” I said to Mikhail even as I smiled up at my best friend, accepting the steaming mug as my sylvan got dibs on the next one.

  Andrian and Taj and Danny could not have been more appreciative of Crane Adams making it feel a little less like a nightmare we were living through and a lot more like home.