Faith in Rayne

by Dannie Marsden

  As she hit the ground, her head struck a rock, and she lost consciousness. When she came to, her head ached and her shoulder throbbed. She was dizzy and, as she brought her hand up to her shoulder, she could feel blood still seeping from the wound. She needed to stop the bleeding, so she patted the pockets of her duster and found a handkerchief in one of the pockets. She reached in with her left hand and pulled it out. Through breaths of pain and gritted teeth, she reached up to her right shoulder and pushed the material hard against the wound. Immediately, her forehead beaded with sweat and her head spun.

  She closed her eyes in an effort to keep her churning stomach from emptying. She opened her eyes to the light of the moon and saw the horses walking back towards her. “Oh thank God,” Rayne muttered and gently whistled for the horse. “Come on…yeah, that's right.” The simple noise caused her head to throb. With a lot of effort, she finally made it up onto the horse and gently spoke to the animal, “Oh boy, I'm gonna trust that you know the way home. How about it, wanna take me home?”

  Maddie had stepped out into the cool air, when she saw the horses approaching. She turned towards the entrance and shouted, “Someone run get the doc and tell the sheriff we got a wounded man here.” She ran to the horses and caught the reins just as Rayne fell off her horse. Several men ran up and were taking the reins and pulling the dead man off the back of the animal. The doc dashed out and knelt down to examine the fallen deputy. “We need to get him warm and somewhere I can get a better look at his wounds.”

  Maddie replied tersely, “My room’s the closest, take him there.” Maddie pushed a path through the crowd, as a couple of men helped carry Rayne upstairs to the room. Once Rayne was placed in the bed, the doc cleared everyone out, except for Maddie, who insisted on staying to help.

  The doc cut away Rayne’s shirt and the binding that held her breasts flat. Without a word, he went to work to remove the bullet that was still in Rayne's shoulder.

  Maddie kept a neutral expression on her face, but was smiling to herself; she had just known that Rayne wasn't who she pretended to be, and it intrigued her even more. Oh Rayne, do I have plans for us.

  It was close to an hour later when the doctor and Maddie finally descended the stairs to a crowded room.

  “Is my deputy gonna be alright?” Hawks asked solemnly.

  “Took the bullet out and finally got the bleedin’ stopped. She's gonna be weak, lost a lot of blood, but I’m optimistic. I am worried about her head wound, though. But ain't nothin’ I can do till she wakes up.”

  A low murmur went through the room when the crowd heard that the deputy was a woman, then whoops of happiness erupted in the saloon, and smiles appeared on the faces of the miners as they heard the deputy would be fine.

  The doctor walked over to the sheriff. “Did you know?” he asked, as he reached for the shot of whiskey the sheriff handed him.

  “Yup, Mathews confided in me a couple weeks ago. Asked me to keep her secret, and I did. Hell, if she can do the job, what difference does it make? Folks have taken to her, and she's good people.”

  “That's what I was hopin’ you’d say. How about the other rider?”

  “From what the fella's here are tellin’ me, he and another fella were passin’ through. They stopped for a couple of beers and were playin’ cards with Horace earlier. Horace was jawin’ about havin’ made a strike. I asked for a couple of volunteers to go out to Horace's and check on him. They should be back by mornin’.”

  “Well, I'm thinkin’ it ain't gonna be good, what with the deputy and a dead man ridin’ in like they did.”

  “Yup, I know. Keep an eye on Mathews and let me know soon as she wakes up.” Hawks drank his whiskey then headed for the swinging doors.

  Once outside, he said under his breath, “God damn it, Horace, what the hell were you thinkin’?”

  He headed towards Harry and Etta's place; he needed to tell them about their friend.

  †

  Maddie sat in the chair that she pulled close to the bed. She wiped the beads of sweat from Rayne's forehead, wrung the cloth in the basin, wiped Rayne’s brow, and paced the floor.

  When Rayne did finally stir it was to kick at the blankets and ramble incoherent words. It was close to the next evening before she opened her eyes and glanced around the room.

  Rayne spotted Maddie in a chair. She closed her eyes and passed out again.

  The next thing she felt was the doc examining her shoulder. The pain was enough to bring her out of sleep and cause her to be in a foul mood. “Jesus Christ. I swear if ya poke at me one more time I'm gonna shove my fist down your throat and pull your guts right up outta your mouth,” she shouted. The shout startled Doc Granger enough that he jumped, and Maddie dropped the pitcher of water she had in her hands. Rayne didn't know what hurt more, the doc poking at her or the noise of the pitcher hitting the floor and shattering.

  After the momentary surprise, Doc stepped closer to Rayne and spoke, “Well, I suppose that's a clear sign that you're still with us.”

  “Considerin’ the pain in my head, I would beg to differ with ya. Where the hell am I?” Rayne groaned, fighting nausea in her stomach.

  Maddie, who had been cleaning up the broken porcelain walked to the side of the bed. She glanced at the doc with a questioning look in her eyes and carefully began to say, “Rayne, honey, you're in my room. Do you remember ridin’ into town last night?”

  “Rayne, can ya open your eyes for me?” Doc Granger spoke.

  Rayne complied, even though the light from the lantern caused her head to explode. Doc looked into her eyes and carefully felt the back of her head. “Can ya tell me your name?”

  “Can I close my eyes? The light is killin’ me.”

  “Of course. Tell me everything ya remember.”

  “Well, my name is Rayne Mathews, I'm a deputy here in town, and I think I rode into town with a dead man slung over his horse. Yeah, there was a shootout up on the mountain.”

  “Right, what else do you remember?” Maddie asked, “Do you remember me?”

  “Well, of course, I remember you, Maddie, what kinda fool question is that?” Rayne asked, her patience dwindling.

  “It's alright Rayne, get some rest. We'll talk later,” Doc Granger said, as he motioned Maddie to follow him.

  †

  Once out in the hall, Doc spoke, “She looks like she's gonna be alright. It's gonna take some time for her to heal, but right now, I don't see anything to indicate any infection. I'd like ya to keep an eye on her cuz of that bump on her head. She's gonna have a headache for a couple of days, but that should start to lessen soon. Make sure she don't move the arm and cause any more bleedin'. She's gonna need to rest in bed a few more days.”

  “Alright, I'll take care of her, Doc.”

  “Maddie, behave yourself. Mathews is gonna need time to heal.”

  With an incredulous look on her face and an indignant tone, she responded, “I can't believe you would imply that I'd do anything other than care for Rayne.”

  “Maddie, I know you and see that look in your eye when you see Mathews walk in. The image of a hungry wolf about to devour a wounded animal comes to mind.”

  With a huff, Maddie spun on her heel, reached for the door knob, and hastily walked back into her room.

  Chapter Seven

  For Rayne, the next couple of days all drifted together, and her headache slowly eased as her shoulder healed. Maddie took care of her. One day, as Maddie was re-bandaging the wound, Rayne asked, “Maddie, how come you’re doin’ all this?”

  The redhead turned her eyes from the wound and looked into the dark-haired woman's blue eyes. With a tilt of her head, she replied softly, “Well, because it's what you do for someone you love. Rayne, do you remember anything about our relationship?”

  Rayne blushed slightly, cleared her throat, and hesitated. “Well, honestly, not a whole lot. I mean I remember I was supposed to come see ya the night I was shot, kinda feel like I was comin’ to court ya. Was I?�
�

  “That's right,” exclaimed Maddie. “You and me, we got feelin’s for each other, and well, there's folks in town that would rather us not be together. But you were slowly makin’ your intentions known.” Maddie’s hand was gently touching Rayne's arm.

  “Who…who don't want us together?” Rayne asked, confused. “I mean, I know it ain't exactly conventional and all but, if we love each other, ain't no one got the right to tell us any different.”

  “I know, darlin', now don't go getting yourself all upset. It really don't matter who, as long as you remember you love me and want to be with me, that's all that matters.”

  “I wanna know who. Friends of mine?” Rayne pushed. She was frustrated with the pounding in her head. While it was easing up, it still hurt more often than not. She was frustrated that she was still weak and not able to be up and moving around as she wanted, and she was extremely frustrated that she couldn't really remember much of her life before arriving in town the night she had been shot.

  Sure, she remembered the basics; she knew her name, knew she was the deputy; she had vague flashes of memories of a cabin in the mountains, a shootout; she recognized some faces and could match names but had no real memory of how she knew them or their relationship. Some of the things she heard and was told made sense, but other than hearing about them, she had no way of knowing if they were true. She felt like she was missing a big part of herself, and she didn't know what it was or how to find it.

  “Rayne …”

  “Who, damn it? I wanna know,” Rayne shouted, instantly regretting her actions, as her head pounded.

  “Well, Etta for one and Harry, though he is just saying that so he and Etta don't fight,” Maddie replied, as she dropped her eyes.

  “Thank you for tellin’ me. If ya don't mind, I need to close my eyes.”

  “Of course, I'm done with your bandages anyway. You get some rest, and I'll make sure you have some supper when you wake up.” Maddie stood and gathered the dirty bandages and washbasin then slipped quietly out the door.

  In the hallway, she came face to face with Etta.

  “How's Rayne today?” Etta asked.

  “I'm sorry Etta, but the deputy is still really weak. There isn't much improvement yet, and the doc says she should be left alone so's she can regain her strength,” Maddie replied protectively.

  “Are you sure she isn't up to seeing me? I have mail for her from back home. I think she would love to read it, or at least have me read it to her.” Etta glanced at the door.

  “Look, I'm just followin’ the doc's orders, and he said no visitors. Give me the mail, I'll make sure she gets it.” The redhead impatiently shifted the basin in her hand to reach for whatever mail Etta had.

  Etta once again glanced towards the door and hesitated before she reached into her purse and pulled out the letter from Lisbet. “Alright, make sure she gets it, please.”

  The anger flashing in Maddie’s eyes signaled her patience was stretched thin. She grabbed the letter from Etta and spat, “Well, of course, she'd get it. Now, if you don't mind, I have things to do while Rayne is sleepin’. ‘Sides, I'm sure Harry will be wonderin’ where you are.”

  Etta stiffened but politely said, “Of course, I apologize for keeping you from your duties.” Then she brushed passed her.

  “Etta, don't go thinkin’ you're any better than me. From what I've heard, you're just like me.”

  Etta stopped for a split second as the comment struck its mark then continued walking down the hallway. All the while, Maddie's laughter rang in her ears.

  Maddie clutched the letter in her hand, as she walked downstairs. She placed the wash basin on a counter in the back room then ripped the letter open and began to read it. While her education was lacking, she did manage to make out a few of the words written on the paper.

  She jumped and hid the paper behind her back when she heard Jane. “Maddie what are ya doin’ back here? Jonas ain't gonna be happy if he catches you. Ya know he’s already mad that you've got the deputy up in your room and ya ain't makin’ no money.”

  “I know he ain't happy. Hey, Jane, you got any schoolin’?”

  “Some why?”

  “Well, do ya know how to read?” Maddie ignored the other woman's question. Her eyes darting to the doorway behind Jane.

  “Like I said, I got some,” Jane approached Maddie “Whatcha got in your hands?”

  “If I let ya see, ya can't tell no one. And I do mean no one.”

  “Lord Maddie, if ya don't wanna tell me, then don't be expectin’ me to read for ya.”

  “Look, it's a letter for the deputy from someone back from where she came from. You know how I feel about Rayne, I…I wanna know what I'm up against.”

  “She's in your bed, so I don't think you got anything to worry about,” Jane laughed. ”Come on, let me see that letter.”

  Maddie handed Jane the letter she had hidden behind her back then waited for Jane to start reading.

  Sweetheart,

  It feels as though you've been away forever. Lord knows I miss you. I doubt ya know how much the few simple words ya write have come to mean to me or how much I look forward to them. Maybe ya do since ya tell me that you look forward to readin my letters to you. I love readin the words ya write, but it reminds me of how much I miss ya.

  It's so hard without you here. I know you're workin hard to get us a home there, but sometimes I just want ya to come back home to us. I feel so torn, cuz I want ya to follow your dreams, but I want ya to follow them here with us. I know that sounds selfish, and I'm so sorry Rayne. I know you’re gonna do what ya gotta do before ya come back home. Just promise me you'll come back to us, we're here waitin for ya and we ain't goin anywhere.

  Ben is growin like a weed. I doubt you'd recognize him, even though it's only been a few months. I tell ya, the more he eats and grows, the more I pray that ya get this expansion goin. We'd best have plenty of plots for a garden and plenty of fattened cows.

  I reckon you’re chompin at the bit to hear about the ranch, and there's plenty to tell ya about.

  So far, the ranch is lookin real good. We got a real good stand of crops for the cattle, and let me tell ya, it looks beautiful. If we aren't rained out, we're gonna have a nice harvest. Tom says with all the small towns poppin up along the railroads, we should have a good market for both the crops and the cattle, so we stand to make plenty of money. With that said, ya best be gettin home to work the deals.

  Rayne, I do have some news that ya ain't gonna like, but ya gotta know about it. I know ya got a soft spot for John, but I had to let him go. I wish with all my heart that I didn't have to tell ya, but after ya left he changed. The way he looked at me made me uncomfortable, and honestly, he was tellin folks in town that with you gone the ranch was gonna be his. I felt like he expected you to not come back. But that ain't the worst of it. He really started drinkin and gamblin more. There were weeks that he wouldn't even bother to come back to work. And when he did, he behaved as though he didn't have to lift a finger and bossed the other hands around while he sat and smoked and drank. Now mind you, I don't mind a drink after work is done, but he was drinkin all day. I suppose the last straw was when he went to whip Ben. He said Ben had been tormentin Romeo all day long, and that wasn't true. You know Ben adores Romeo. I ain't ashamed to say, had Tom not stopped by to check on us and seen what he was about to do and stopped him, I would have killed him.

  I feel like the good Lord was watchin over us. Tom was bringin Jesse over to see about work when all this happened. You know Jesse, he's Otis Jenkins's oldest boy. I don't mind tellin ya, I was glad that they was here. It took em both to keep John from actin on his anger. I got Jesse stayin in the bunk house, and I feel safer with him here. John made some threatenin comments when Tom was gettin him on his horse to take him to town. Don't worry about us. Things are handled here, and we're safe, I just felt ya needed to know.

  Rayne, I miss you. I'll be fixin dinner and remember somethin Ben did earlier in the day
and went to tell ya and ya ain't there. Or I'll look over at Ben playin, and I'm surprised to not see ya there with him.

  The days are easiest. I suppose it's because I got so much to do. What with the daily chores and chasin after that boy of ours, I don't have time to miss you. But at night, after Ben is in his bed asleep and I got time alone for my thoughts, that’s when the loneliness sets in.

  Lord Rayne, I miss everything about you. The way you watch me when ya think I ain't payin attention. The smile that meets your eyes, those amazin blue eyes of yours. I miss them watchin me. I miss your strong arms holdin me and your lips as you kiss me. I go to bed at night and miss you beside me. I'll roll over and expect to feel you there and ya ain't. I pray that I'll wake up and you'll be there when my eyes open, and I'm disappointed when ya ain't. Then I remind myself that it's only for a while, and that works for the day and then it happens all over again that evenin.

  Darlin, I hope you know, I ain't the only one that misses you. When Tom or Matt stops by to check on us and the door opens, Ben's face lights up cuz he's expectin it to be you. And while he's happy to see Tom or Matt, you can see the disappointment in his eyes. We all know that it's you he wants to see walk through that door.

  I'm sorry, I don't mean to make ya feel bad. I just want ya to know that we all feel your absence.

  I suppose I should close now so that when Tom shows up tomorrow he can take this to the post office. Rayne, I love you with all my heart. Please know I can't wait to be in your arms again and for us all to be a family once more. We miss you and are here waitin for ya.

  All my love,

  Lisbet

  Jane cleared her throat. While she had told Maddie a few minutes ago that she shouldn't worry about whoever Rayne had waiting for her, she now realized that wasn’t true. Clearly, whoever this woman was, she loved the deputy, and there was a good reason for them to be separated for the time being.

  “Maddie, I know I said that you had nothin’ to worry about, but I think maybe ya should leave things alone. Whoever this woman is, it's clear that the life the deputy left back wherever she came from is waiting for her and a good one at that.” She folded the letter and handed it back to the redhead.