by SJ West
“Well, luckily for you, the same rule doesn’t apply here,” Helena says. “Perhaps, in my small way, I can actually help you face the demons that continue to haunt your dreams.”
A hundred yards in front of us a mirror image of our own group suddenly appears. It takes me a moment to adjust to what I’m seeing.
“Yes, you are seeing what you think you are,” Helena says, giggling at her own mischief. “Oh, if only all of you could see the expressions on your faces right now. What better way to work through your own self-loathing than to literally fight yourselves? This should save you all years of therapy. Enjoy!”
She disappears, and our doppelgängers raise their weapons as they silently charge us.
We only have time to react as they attack. When my double reaches me, I raise my sword sideways, just over my head to block the downward strike of his blade. Helena’s version of me isn’t a very good fighter, and I experience a moment of vanity because I feel insulted by my doppelgänger’s lack of skill with a sword. I easily run him through with my blade and watch him vanish from sight in a puff of black smoke. All of us end up killing our mirror images rather quickly, which immediately sets off a warning inside my head.
“Something’s wrong. That was too easy,” Xander says, voicing my own thoughts.
“Yes, it was,” Jess replies, raising her sword with both hands and assuming a defensive stance. “Here comes wave two.”
I follow Jess’ gaze and see that another set of our doppelgängers has appeared exactly where the first ones did. As they begin to charge, I have a bad feeling I know what Helena’s plans are for us now.
As soon as we dispatch our mirror images, new ones spawn and attack. We seem to be trapped in an infinite loop, and I begin to wonder if Helena will ever stop this particular test of our stamina. I assume she’s trying to not only wear us down physically, but mentally as well. How many times can someone kill themselves before they break? I don’t know how long we battle ourselves, but after killing the five hundredth me, I begin to lose count.
Eventually our doubles stop spawning, and most of us are breathing hard from the exertion. I look over at Jess and see that she and Mason aren’t even sweating. When she was alive, I always worried over her since she was human, but in this situation, I guess it’s only myself I need to be concerned about.
Jess catches me looking at her and says, “That won’t be the end of it, Malcolm. She’s just getting started.”
I nod. “I know.” I look out to the black castle in the distance. “And we’re not stopping until we get to Anna and Lucas.”
I start to walk forward. The first step I take makes our surroundings change again, and this time we find ourselves standing in a green meadow covered in a multitude of wild flowers. There’s a small pond in the middle of the scene with a majestic weeping willow standing beside it. The sudden change to our setting is jarring, to say the least.
“What a lovely spot,” I hear Helena comment.
I turn around to find her standing behind us.
“And what exactly are you going to make us fight here?” I ask her. “Hay fever?”
She laughs. “Oh, nothing that provincial. I just thought you could all use a moment to relax and get to know each other a little bit better.” Helena directs her gaze in Alex’s direction. “You remember this place well, don’t you, Alex?”
His shoulders stiffen at being addressed. Reluctantly, he says, “Yes. I remember it.”
“Sweet, motherly Amalie,” Helena croons. “All those days you spent here together and all that pining for what you could never have.”
Underneath the weeping willow by the pond, we suddenly see Amalie and Alex appear. Of course it’s only an illusion, but if someone didn’t know any better, they would mistake them for being real.
They’re lying on their sides, facing one another on a white quilt. Amalie is dressed in a light blue dress with a white flower print around the edges of the skirt. An open book lays between them, and they each have their heads propped up on one bent arm. I don’t need Helena to tell me what Alex’s secret is. It’s plainly written on his face as he watches Amalie.
“Poor Alex and his unrequited love for Lucifer’s bitch of a wife,” Helena says scornfully.
I look over at Alex and see his face contort with unmitigated fury. I’m not sure if he’s angry about Helena showing us his true feelings for Amalie or her derogatory reference to Anna’s mother. Either way, I know it’s not good.
“She’s baiting you, Alex, don’t let her,” I warn him in an attempt to bring him back to his senses. I know firsthand how dangerous it can be to allow your temper to take control of you, and in a place like Hell, the smallest spark of anger can ignite into an inferno of rage before you realize what’s happened.
“She has no right to speak about Amalie like that,” he says in a low, menacing voice.
“Still have the hots for her, eh?” Helena mocks. “Why don’t we all watch what happens on this day together? When I first started delving into your memories, I have to admit I became a bit bored with what I found there. But when I came across this little gem, well, I discovered just how pathetic you actually are, Alex.”
“Helena, don’t do this,” Cade pleads, taking a step toward her. “It’s not right.”
For a split second, I see her hateful expression soften after hearing Cade’s words, but maybe it is just wishful thinking on my part.
“Right or wrong,” she tells him with a stern expression, “it’s the truth, and the sooner you come to terms with who I really am, the better off we’ll both be.”
“Okay, now,” I hear the vision of Amalie say, drawing my attention back to the scene, “let’s see where we left off the last time.” She begins to flip through the pages of the book as a warm heavenly breeze blows through her hair, causing her brown tresses to float around her shoulders as she concentrates on her task.
We all watch as a mixture of emotions plays across memory-Alex’s face as he continues to gaze at Amalie. It’s painfully obvious from the yearning in his eyes that he’s in love with her. Either on impulse or finally giving into a long-held desire, he leans his body forward over the book and kisses her on the lips. She’s shocked for a moment as her eyes go wide, but she quickly comes to her senses and pushes him away from her.
“Alex,” she says, breathless with surprise and confusion, “what are you doing? Why would you do that?”
“I love you,” he confesses, opening his heart to her in a moment of vulnerability. “I’ve been in love with you for a very long time now, Amalie.”
She hastily sits up and automatically begins to shake her head at Alex. “No. You have to stop. I don’t love you in that way, and I never will.”
He sits up too. “Why? Is it because of your feelings for Lucifer? You’ll never see him again, Amalie. Why waste an eternity longing for someone you can never have?” he questions. The earnest expression on Alex’s face tells us all that he hopes to convince her that he’s right.
“It’s not just my feelings for Lucifer,” she tells him, on the verge of tears. “I love you, too, Alex, but only as a friend. If I’ve led you on in any way, I’m sorry. All I’ve ever wanted to do is help you learn how to express your thoughts to others better, and we’ve worked so hard to accomplish that. It’s taken a long time and a lot of hard work, but you’re finally able to tell people exactly what you’re thinking and feeling.”
“You make it sound like you see yourself as my mother, Amalie,” he says disdainfully.
Amalie remains silent, and we can all tell that’s exactly the way she feels about him. I know this is a fact because of my discussion with Anna after her visit with Lucifer and her mother. Apparently, Alex misunderstood the love she showed him, and this is the first time he realizes the truth for himself. As I watch the light of love fade from his eyes, a new understanding seems to take its place and everything he thought he knew up until this moment is forever changed.
“I don’t want to lose y
ou as a friend,” Amalie says desperately, holding her hand out to Alex for him to take. “Please, don’t be angry with me …”
He looks at her outstretched hand with a sense of longing, but instead of accepting her offer of friendship, he phases.
“Poor Alex.” Helena’s words may have been sympathetic, but the way she said them was anything but. “There you were opening your itty-bitty heart to Amalie, and she crushed it like a bug because she could never allow herself to love anyone except Lucifer. I might have felt bad for you if it wasn’t for that pathetic look you gave her at the end.”
“At least he can love someone else,” Jered says, sticking up for Alex. “Can you, Helena?”
Unfazed by his question, she immediately turns her sights on him.
“You’re a fine one to talk, Jered. At least Alex had the gumption to tell the woman he loved how he felt. You, on the other hand, decided to take the coward’s way out. Why don’t we all take a trip down memory lane and see what you could have had if you had only been man enough to fight for it?”
I have a bad feeling I know exactly what Helena plans to show Jered. I just hope his heart is strong enough to take it.
Chapter 4
The setting around us changes once again to the inside of my New Orleans home not long after it was constructed. The world was on the cusp of war. We had done everything within our power to put an end to the petty bickering between the feuding economic classes, but humans can be stubborn creatures. After those who could afford to build and live in the cloud cities finally left the surface, fighting amongst the clans left in the down-world reached a fever pitch. We Watchers knew there was nothing we could do to stop the war, so we simply tried to help where we could. If the people in the cloud cities hadn’t fled, I believe we could have prevented the nuclear holocaust that followed their departure. With no one trying to find a peaceful resolution to the disputes, a mad dash for power ensued among those left behind. They did this through the bloodiest combat in human history, and it ended in an all-out nuclear conflict. Besides the war in Heaven and the loss of loved ones during my time on Earth, the years during and after the Great War were some of the worst in my life.
The day Helena has decided to depict is actually from one of my own memories, and I know exactly why she’s showing it to us. All I hope is that Jered can forgive me for what he’s about to see me do in it.
“Riley! You’re going to be late for your own wedding!” I hear myself grumble as I walk into the living room. My memory of her materializes in the space, and we see her as she was so long ago, sitting in front of the fireplace, clad in her wedding dress.
She looks away from the flames of the fire that seem to have her hypnotized and watches me as I walk over to her. She doesn’t look like a bride should on her wedding day. There is no happiness in her eyes, only turmoil.
“What’s wrong?” I ask her. “Are you having second thoughts about marrying him? If you are, I can throw Ollie out onto the street right now. I don’t have a problem with doing that.”
Riley begins to cry. I only stand there for a moment before I sit on the floor next to her and bring her into my arms.
“I don’t know what to do, Uncle Malcolm,” Riley sobs as she leans against me for comfort. “I’m so confused right now.”
“Confused about what exactly?” I ask, resting my cheek against the top of her head and holding her close to make her feel safe.
“Jered,” Riley confesses to me in a whisper.
I had known for days that she was interested in Jered. He had been away on a mission for most of her life, only meeting her for the first time when he came to celebrate her nuptials to Ollie. I knew they weren’t soul mates, but most people don’t need that once-in-a-lifetime connection to fall in love with one another.
“You’ve only known him for a few days,” I try to reason, even though I knew Jered’s feelings paralleled Riley’s. “Ollie has been in your life since your sixteenth birthday party. I seem to remember you telling me then that you were going to marry him one day, and here we are, five years later, with your fiancé patiently waiting for you at the altar.”
“How can I marry him when I have feelings for Jered? What am I supposed to do, Uncle Malcolm?”
I let Riley cry a little while longer. I could have told her to follow her heart, but I didn’t.
Instead, I tell her, “Jered has a mission to accomplish. You know that, Riley.”
“But what if I’m the one you’ve all been waiting for?” she says, leaning back to look up at me with slightly swollen eyes.
“You’re not,” I say confidently.
We all knew early on that Riley wouldn’t be the descendent we were waiting for. There was too much chaos among the humans to keep Lucifer occupied and happy. He was having a party on Earth. Why would he try to destroy it now? No, it was decided by all of us that the descendant we were waiting for probably wouldn’t be born for many generations to come. The world would have to heal, and that process would take a lot of time. The thought depressed us all, but it was simply the way things were. I knew that if Riley went to Jered that night, he would abandon our mission in order to live out his life with her as a human. It was selfish of me to deny him such happiness, but I knew I needed him to stay with us and not get distracted by love.
“Ollie loves you,” I tell her. “He has loved you since the moment he saw you. I know I was hard on him in the beginning, but I had to make sure he was strong enough to be a good husband for you. The life he’s signing up for won’t be an easy one, but he loves you enough to stand by your side no matter what. He passed all the tests I threw at him and never complained that they were too hard. Don’t toss away his love for you like an afterthought. That’s not the type of person you are.”
Riley stopped crying then, and I knew my words were enough to convince her to go through with her wedding to Ollie that night.
Helena stops the scene and looks over at Jered.
“I know this is a rhetorical question, but for the sake of the others, did you know Malcolm convinced the woman you loved to marry another man?”
His eyes never waver from the image of Riley as he says, “No. I didn’t.”
“Too bad really.” Helena sighs, mimicking regret. “It seems like she really loved you. If Malcolm hadn’t persuaded her to stay true to her fiancé, I would bet my soul that she would have run straight to you instead. But, then again, you fled that night, didn’t you? What happened, Jered? Did the possibility of someone loving you so absolutely make you feel like a scared little school boy?”
“I didn’t deserve her love,” Jered answers, lifting his gaze from Riley’s tear-streaked face to meet Helena’s mocking one. “Malcolm did the right thing. Ollie was the better man for her. I couldn’t have made her as happy as he did.”
“But you’ll never really know that for certain, will you? You loved her, but you never worked up the nerve to admit it to her. It was certainly a missed opportunity, but it wasn’t the biggest regret in your life, was it?”
Helena and Jered stare at one another in silence. Finally, Jered says, “Go ahead and show it. I don’t think it will be a big surprise to anyone here what it is.”
She grins. “No. I think I have a better way to reveal your guilt. Besides, I have something else I need to tend to right now.”
The illusion of my home in New Orleans falls away as a thick fog rolls in, making it hard for us to see each other, much less figure out where we are in relation to the castle we’re trying to reach.
“I know, you’re all thinking that this isn’t very fair of me,” I hear Helena say, even though I can’t see her. “Consider this a real test of your bond to Anna, Malcolm.”
“What do you mean by that?” I demand.
“Oh, I’m going to show your wife some things that might distress her enough to set off that pesky ability for soul mates to find one another no matter where they are. Now, you still won’t be able to phase to her, but you might be able to figure out
what direction she’s in through this fog. I don’t want you to get bored, though.” Just as she says those words, a multitude of howls—the likes of which I haven’t heard in hundreds of years—fills the air.
“Watcher children,” I hear Mason say with immense dread and a small measure of surprise.
It’s been a long time since we’ve had to deal with the cursed children of the Watchers. It shouldn’t come as a shock that some of them earned a place in Hell for the atrocities they committed while they were still alive, but I don’t think any of us totally blame them for their tragic fate either. They didn’t ask to be born to Watchers, and their damnation lies squarely on our shoulders. We were the ones who sinned against God while their only crime was being born to parents who had fallen from His grace.
“Ta-ta for now,” Helena tells us from somewhere in the fog. “I hope you enjoy your reunion, Jered.”
It’s only then that I realize Helena is still testing him. As the howls of the dead children of the Watchers sound again, even closer this time, I know we’ll recognize at least one in their midst.
“Your son is out there, isn’t he?” I ask Jered. I can barely see him through the dense fog, even though he’s standing only three feet away from me.
He doesn’t reply right away. He continues to listen to the piercing howls that seem to be getting closer and closer.
Finally, he looks over at me and says in a detached voice, “Yes. He’s here. I can sense him.”
