by SJ West
It’s been years since I thought about Jered’s son, but I’m sure Silas has been in his father’s thoughts every day since his death. I see Mason and Jess come to stand on either side of Jered, both looking concerned over what our friend will ultimately have to face here.
He looks over at Mason and says, “I’ve tried to put the night he died behind me, but it always returns to haunt me in my dreams.”
Mason places a comforting hand on his shoulder, and I can see the strength of the bond between them that was forged out of a shared guilt.
“You’ve done a lot to atone for what you did in your past,” Mason tells him. “Don’t let Helena drag you back down by using your son against you.”
“But I failed Silas the worst way a father can, Mason. I forced him to go to Mama Lynn’s house that night to feed my own ego and need for revenge against you. If I hadn’t, you wouldn’t have had to kill him. He lost his chance at salvation because of me. I’m the one who led him into the darkness, and he’s suffered because of my mistakes all this time. That’s something I will never be able to forgive myself for doing. I should have been a better father and protected him, even from myself.” Jered looks at me. “I wish I had protected Silas like you did Sebastian. You never let him participate in our stupid games. If I had been stronger, Silas wouldn’t be here right now.”
“If there is one thing that I’ve learned in my life,” I tell him, “it’s that you can never change the past, no matter how much you might want to. Helena showed you my memory of Riley for a reason. She knew it was something I came to regret doing later on. At the time, I thought it was the best thing for everyone involved, but in retrospect, maybe I should have encouraged Riley to follow her heart and seek you out that night. If I had, you might have led a very different life.”
Jered shakes his head at me. “No. You did the right thing for the both of us. If she had come to me and professed her feelings, I wouldn’t have been strong enough to turn her away. Our life together wouldn’t have been what she deserved, and I would have missed this opportunity to save Silas.”
“And how exactly do you plan to do that?” Jess asks, sounding suspicious of his intention to free his son from Helena’s domain.
“I’ll make a deal with her.”
“What kind of deal?” Jess presses for a more specific answer.
“The kind that she won’t be able to pass up.”
“Absolutely not,” I say, walking over to stand in front of him, because I know exactly what he’s planning. “I won’t allow you to trade in your own soul so she’ll release his. That’s what you’re intending to do, isn’t it? What makes you think it will work this time?”
Jered looks at me in surprise. “What do you mean by ‘this time’?”
“Did you really believe Lucifer wouldn’t taunt me about your attempts to make a deal with him for Silas?” I ask. “I’ve known you’ve been trying to save your son by bartering your own soul for years now. Lucifer used to tease me that it was only a matter of time before he wore you down and forced you to give him the location of the princes in order to save your son.”
“You knew about that all this time?” Jered asks in confusion. “Yet you never said anything to me about it? Why? Why did you continue to trust me when you knew I might betray you at any moment?”
“Why do you think it took me so long to finally trust you? After a few hundred years, you proved to me that you would never betray our mission or me. You had countless opportunities to be disloyal to us, yet you never were. You stayed true to our cause and never wavered in your dedication to fulfill your promise to Caylin all those years ago. She had faith in you when others didn’t, especially me. I tried to remember that after she passed away, but it still took me a long time to see you the way she did. I know now that, once given, your loyalty is steadfast, even when others try to knock you down.”
“That was something you attempted to do yourself, and quite often, if memory serves me well,” Jered quips good-naturedly.
“I had to test you,” I tell him. “Granted, I’ve never tested anyone’s loyalty for as long as I did yours, but even I came to the conclusion that you were someone who would always stay true to his word and never fail in a mission. The only thing I’ve seen you fail at is forgiving yourself for what happened to Silas.”
“That’s something I’ll never be able to forgive myself for,” he confesses. “He’s my son, Malcolm. I should have shielded him from what we were, but instead I chose to drag him down with me. He never wanted to kill, but I made him become a murderer. I’m the one who turned him into a monster, because that’s what I was. I never even considered the possibility that we wouldn’t share the same fate. It took losing him to open my eyes and make me face who I had become. His death saved me, but maybe I didn’t deserve mercy.”
“Mercy …” a gravelly voice says from somewhere close by in the fog. “Mercy is for the weak.”
We all hold our weapons at the ready, prepared to face whatever new threat is about to present itself.
The head of a Watcher child pokes through the thick fog in front of us, giving the illusion that it’s floating in the air. Its elongated snout, large pointy ears, and hollow black eyes harken back to a time that I would just as soon forget. On Earth, the children of the Watchers weren’t able to speak, but it seems the same rules don’t apply in Hell. The Watcher child stares at us all until it finally settles a steady gaze on Jered.
“Hello, Father,” Silas says. “You’ve finally found me after all these years.”
“I never gave up hope that I would,” Jered tells him earnestly.
“There was a time I wanted you to rescue me from this place and take me back home,” Silas admits. “Unfortunately for you, I no longer care to leave. I’ve found my place in the world, and it’s by Helena’s side.”
Jered lowers his sword and takes a step toward his son.
“No, it’s not. It never was. You only think that way because you’ve been trapped down here for so long.”
Silas begins to chortle. His laughter is deep and menacing.
“You should have stayed in the world of the living, Father. Coming down here was a foolish mistake on your part. It may even end up costing you your soul.”
“I would trade places with you in a heartbeat, Silas,” Jered declares. “I tried for years to make a deal with Lucifer to release you, but he never would. Maybe Helena will allow me to trade in my soul and release yours.”
“Even if she does accept your sacrifice, what makes you think I will?” Silas challenges. “I’ve found a home with her here, and I like the person she’s helped me become.”
“You can’t mean that,” Jered says firmly. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”
“Who are you to presume to know what’s best for me?” Silas argues as he takes a step forward. He towers over the rest of us at seven-feet tall. The backward legs and hairless white skin covering his lanky form brings back unpleasant memories of Sebastian transforming into his werewolf alter ego.
“Being down here for so long has warped your mind, Silas,” he says in what sounds like a futile attempt to reach his son. “Let me try to save you.”
“Don’t bother,” Silas replies. “Helena has already promised to send me back to the land of the living.”
Everyone remains silent after hearing this revelation. I’m certain we’re all thinking the same thing. Whatever Helena’s reason is for sending Silas back to Earth, it can’t be good.
“Why would she do that?” Jered finally asks, needing to know more about Helena’s plans for his son. “What does she want you to do for her there?”
Silas laughs again. “Do you think me so fickle that I would betray her to help you? She has earned my trust and loyalty over the years. The only emotion I feel when I look at you is contempt. This loving father act you’re putting on is wasted on me. I no longer care what you want or what you think. I don’t even consider myself your son anymore. You mean less than nothing to m
e now, and the sooner you accept that fact, the better off we’ll both be.”
Silas vanishes back into the fog, leaving us alone in silence.
“That’s what your children used to transform into?” Roan asks out of curiosity. “Those are the things that are howling out there?”
“Yes,” I tell him as I look back at the other War Angels. “They were cursed because of our disobedience to God and forced to transform into werewolves every night.”
“Do you think Helena plans to send them all back to Earth?” Gideon asks. “The Watcher children who are down here?” he clarifies.
“I have no idea,” I reply, slowly shaking my head.
“Why would she send him back?” Jered says, but I know it’s not a question he expects any of us to answer. He’s simply thinking out loud. “She has to be planning to use him against us in some way.”
“I don’t think that’s something we need to worry about right now,” Mason says to him. “Let’s all stay focused on what we came here to do, and that’s finding Anna and Lucas. We’re going to have to play Helena’s game in order to do that, and I suggest we move as quickly as possible. The less time you all spend in here, the better.”
“Mason’s right,” I say. “We have to keep moving.”
“But which way?” Zane questions, looking dubiously at the fog surrounding us. “We can’t see the castle through this fog. We could end up moving farther away from it instead of toward it.”
“We’re going to have to take a leap of faith,” I tell them.
“Helena said you might be able to feel Anna,” Alex says. “How is that possible?”
“When God opens the link between soul mates, you can feel their pain,” Jess explains.
“But it has to be a deep pain,” I remind her. “One that practically tears your heart or body apart.”
“What do you think Helena is going to do to Anna to make her feel that way?” Cade asks worriedly.
Of all the War Angels, he has the closest personal relationship with Anna. He was, after all, the War Angel she created as Seraphina to protect her during the war in Heaven. I’m sure that’s why she chose him to be our son’s guardian angel. Their connection to one another was extremely strong during the war because it was designed to be that way. Of any class of angel, the Guardians of the Guf were the most important. They were charged with creating the War Angels to ensure that the rebels didn’t win.
“I have no idea what her plans are,” I reply. “The first time I felt the connection with Anna was right after she received the first seal.”
“So the pain can either be physical or emotional?” Atticus asks.
“Yes,” I answer.
“Either way,” Roan says, “Helena plans to torture Anna.”
The immense guilt I feel for wanting her to cause Anna enough pain to set off the connection between our souls weighs heavily on my heart. I need to find her and Lucas, and the only way I can sense her in Hell under our current circumstances is for that to happen. My only solace is the fact that I know Helena won’t kill my wife. In her twisted mind, she truly believes Anna is her sister. Perhaps they are connected to one another in some odd way. I have no way of knowing the ins and outs of being made the way they were. Each of them had been brought to life from parts of Lucifer’s soul. I can’t deny that the circumstance in which they were created is unique, and it isn’t like there’s a handbook explaining the consequences of being conceived in such a fashion.
All I do know is that I need to find my family before it’s too late. I need them back. My sanity depends on it.
Chapter 5
(Anna’s Point of View)
While Helena is away doing God only knows what to Malcolm and the others, I walk over to the bed to check on Lucas and make sure he’s all right. As I sit on the edge of the bed, I lay a hand on his side in order to prove to myself that he’s still breathing. The gentle rise and fall of his rib cage reassures me that he’s simply in a deep sleep. In a way, I envy his slumbering state. I don’t know if she realizes it, but Helena did Lucas a kindness by providing him an escape from Hell for a time. I feel on the verge of hysteria from being trapped here, but I know I can’t give in to my fear.
The deal I’ve made with Helena may have been coerced out of me, but it was the best I could do, given the circumstances. What I’ve agreed to sets my heart on fire with worry. It’s not that I doubt Malcolm will do everything he can to win this game of hers. I have complete faith in him, but I also trust Helena as much as I would a viper slithering up my leg making promises that it won’t bite me. I know her too well to believe that she’s doing this just for the entertainment factor. She believes she can come out on top in this wager. I feel as if I’m missing a piece of a larger picture and that’s preventing me from seeing how she plans to manipulate things into her favor.
“Stop it, Anna,” I berate myself.
Worrying over something I can’t change won’t do me, or anyone else, any good. I need to figure out a way to help Malcolm and the others, even if I can’t physically be with them. How can I make sure they succeed in their game against Helena? She’ll definitely try to outwit them. She might even try to wear them down physically, but torturing them in that way just seems beneath even her. She finds her happiness by messing with people’s minds. She only uses physical abuse as a means to an end.
“Well,” I hear her say from the same spot she was standing in before she left, “the game is afoot, as it were. Let’s see just how strong lover boy is.”
I stand from the bed and walk over to her while asking, “What have you done to them?”
“Would you like to see?” she asks with an excited smile. “Look out that window,” she instructs, pointing to a paned window with black curtains draped around it. When I first entered this room, it was a windowless space. The sudden appearance of this new addition to the room tells me that Helena can change almost anything she wants to here just by willing it into being. I walk over to it and peer outside. It’s apparent from the angle of my view that the room we’re in is very high off the ground. It might even be in the tower of a building. Far in the distance, I can see Malcolm and the others fighting. I have to squint to make out who it is they’re battling against. When I do, I quickly turn to look at her.
“You’re making them fight mirror images of themselves?” I ask, horrified by the notion. “Why would you do that?”
“What better way for them to work through their own issues? If you think about it, this could actually be beneficial to them in the long run.”
I turn to face Helena fully, crossing my arms over my chest.
“And how, in your uniquely twisted sense of logic, do you believe you are helping them?”
“It’s the perfect way for them to express the self-loathing they feel for themselves,” she answers, as if her reasoning is sound. “Each of them hates something that they did in the past. What better way to work through those issues than punish themselves for their transgressions?”
“Are you planning to use their guilt against them to win?”
“I’ll use whatever works best,” she says, shrugging nonchalantly.
“How long are you going to make them fight themselves?” I ask, turning back to the window to watch the love of my life and my friends fight their doppelgängers. Among the group, I notice two people with Malcolm who shouldn’t be in Hell. “Is that Jess and Mason?”
Helena lets out an exasperated sigh. “Yes. Those were the two souls I couldn’t identify earlier. I don’t know what good they think they can do here.”
I let out a derisive laugh. “Even you aren’t that dense,” I say, turning back to look at her. “They’re here to protect Malcolm and my friends from you.”
“Well, I can assure you that they’ll wish they never came after I’m finished with them.”
“Can you even do anything to them?” I ask.
“Maybe not to their souls,” Helena admits. “Those seem to be protected from me, but I can stil
l see their memories. They’ve each been keeping secrets from each other. It seems a shame for them not to share with the group. Since I plan to make most of your friends work through their worst memories, I don’t see why those two shouldn’t participate in the fun.”
“Is that what torturing is to you? Fun?” I ask in disgust.
“The best kind.” She smiles.
“Are you going to make Cade relive his worst memory, too?”
Helena’s expression becomes impassive with the mention of her soul mate’s name, and I know I’ve hit a nerve.
“What I do with or to him is none of your business, sister. If I were you, I would worry more about what Malcolm is hiding from you.”
I feel my heart begin to beat a little faster because her statement sounds more like a threat.
“I don’t think you can show me anything about him that would surprise me,” I tell her confidently.
Helena giggles. “Oh my, you are too much sometimes, sister! Malcolm is a treasure trove of guilt. He’s done more wrong than good in his life. Don’t you know that about your own husband?”
“He’s already shared his past with me. He hasn’t tried to hide who he was from me.”
“I can assure you there’s one thing that you don’t know about him,” she says haughtily. “He didn’t even share this little gem of a secret with his dearest Lilly. I’ll bet you anything that when you see it, you and your children will think twice about going back to him.”
“There is nothing you can show me that will make me second-guess Malcolm’s love for us.”
Helena grins. “We’ll see.”
She vanishes from my sight, and I’m left to watch Malcolm and the others fight against themselves over and over again. It seems like hours pass by, but I can’t be sure since there’s no way for me to keep track of time in the room. Eventually, I have to pull a chair over by the window because standing for so long begins to hurt my back. After a while, the fighting finally comes to an end, and Helena reappears before the others. The scenery around them changes to one with a lush meadow full of flowers and a small, picturesque pond. I instantly recognize my mother and Alex lying underneath a weeping willow near the water’s edge. This has to be a replication of his worst memory, but how can such a seemingly tranquil scene be something he doesn’t want to remember? When he leans over and kisses my mother, I let out an involuntary gasp in surprise.
