The Undoing of a Libertine

by Raine Miller

  She held his gaze for a long time. Such a solemn expression she wore, telling of ancient wisdoms and womanly secrets as she sized up his offer, like she was peering into the future.

  “You have to trust me,” he coaxed. “I want you, Georgina. The past is only that—behind us—over and done with. We can start a new life and forget about what came before. Don’t be afraid to trust me.”

  She blinked slowly and then said the words he most wanted to hear. “All right, Jeremy. I will marry you.”

  His mouth went forward again, a celebration of sorts—another kiss. A kiss to seal their bargain. This time he was just a bit more demanding of her than before.

  Her lips parted and took in his tongue. He swirled it over the perfect smoothness of the inside of her sweet lips. He nibbled on her lower lip, grazing with just the lightest touch of teeth, thinking he could kiss her for hours. If she stayed soft like this, he could. She let him in so sweetly, and her scent stirred him in a remarkably familiar way, but he couldn’t understand how. Like he could lose himself to abandon but understanding that she controlled him utterly.

  She pulled back, flushed and glowing. Taking a deep breath, she commanded, “Now you’ll tell me. You gave your word. Why did you leave before? I have to know the reason.” Her breath was a little heavy and got that husky sound he adored.

  A glimpse of the spark of her fiery spirit returned as she eyed him. He loved when she was feisty, loved her strength and independence.

  “Georgina, it was because I was afraid you’d be unable to bear my—my touch—the touch of any man because of what happened to you. And you would have to bear my touching you.” He lowered his voice to a whisper and spoke gently. “For I must get an heir. Ours must be a real marriage…in every way.”

  She didn’t say anything, just looked at him with those serious, amber eyes.

  “You know, when I take you to bed, and we are together as a man and a woman,” he prompted, knowing she must hear the truth.

  “I—I understand. I know what you mean, and I am still afraid of just that.” She blushed but didn’t look away.

  He watched her golden eyes get sparkly again. God, she had such bravery in her! It must be very hard to speak of this with him, but she did it with such genuine dignity, he was humbled.

  Coming in very close, he gave a gentle kiss right below her left eye, atop her scar. He kept his lips near and spoke the rest. “But I was miserable when I left, and without any hope of you. I—I will never hurt you like that. I’ll be so very careful when we are together. I know it’ll be all right. It’ll be something good between us.” He kissed below her right eye. “If the way you let me kiss you is any indication, I think we’ve got nothing to worry about.”

  “What if I cannot—” Georgina touched his lips a second time, probably to make him focus on her words, but she needn’t have worried for he was taking in every word and gesture. Jeremy couldn’t get enough of her and probably wouldn’t ever get enough, rejoicing in simply being close to her and knowing he could protect her and keep her safe.

  “You can,” he assured, unable to refrain from kissing her fingertips, nibbling and pulling them partway into his mouth. She tasted divine to him. “I know you can.”

  “How do you know? What if there’s something wrong with me?”

  “There is nothing wrong with you.” He stroked a silky lock of hair at her crown. “I know you can do this because you’re so courageous.” He cupped her face and held it. “Georgina, I could never hurt you. Trust me to take care of you. I only want to make you smile and happy. The rest will come in its own time and in its own way.”

  “And you still want me like that? Even after knowing what happened—”

  “Shhhh. Hush.” Jeremy didn’t want to even think about what she had endured, and he certainly didn’t want her remembering, so he cut her off with a kiss instead to her sweet lips. His hands held her head steady while he plundered with a gentle, but determined pressure. Georgina let him. She even opened her mouth enough for him to get his tongue along the inside of her lips for a taste. And oh, the taste of her, soft and sweet like a ripe pear. “Does that answer your question about me wanting you? I am mad for you, and your past does not change that fact.”

  “If you say it is so, I suppose I must believe you mean it.”

  “Yes, you must because I do mean it. Now, I seem to remember that you’ve already agreed to have me.” He winked. “All that’s left is for you to trust me. Georgina, sweetheart, can you trust me?” He pulled his head back so he could see into her eyes, begging her to have faith in him. “Will you?”

  Her eyes searched his, moving back and forth between the two. “Yes.” She mouthed the word.

  He couldn’t hold back the smile that broke out widely. “Now I’m quite sure you just said, ‘yes.’”

  She nodded in her gentle way and whispered, “Take me away from here.”

  “Tomorrow. Tomorrow morning I will do just that.”

  She went into his arms fully, and he welcomed her sweet body pressed against his chest. He could feel the softness of her breasts and nearly groaned. A huge sigh puffed out of him. Feeling suddenly, blissfully exhausted, he knew he’d finally find restful sleep this night, after weeks of aching wakefulness.

  “I know Tom is not here for the vows, but we can invite him to Hallborough for a visit if you like. I think he’ll be delighted. He wants you to be happy. And you don’t have to bring much—just yourself. We’ll order you a whole new wardrobe in Somerset—whatever you like. I’ll have my housekeeper, Richards, find you a maid and anything else you require.”

  He knew he was babbling as the words tumbled out of him excitedly. He pulled back to get a good look at her. “Can you tell I want take you home as quickly as possible? Is that all right?”

  “It is very much all right,” she told him, her pretty golden eyes softening in a way that was both demure and vivid at the same time. And aroused him wildly.

  Jeremy responded with a smile. A smile that cracked wide, threatening to split his jaw open. He couldn’t have cared a whit if it had. He was thinking about what he now knew. She will be mine. I will have her. Sweet Georgina will be mine.

  Chapter Thirteen

  How silver-sweet sound lovers’ tongues by night,

  Like softest music to attending ears!

  —William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet (1595)

  I’m marrying him in the morning.

  In the midst of packing up the last of her things, Georgina kept telling herself of this fact in hopes that she might come to believe it. As hard as it was for her to accept, Jeremy seemed determined to make her his wife. Georgina had no doubts of his ability to be a good husband, but she was full of misgivings about her role as a wife. When he wanted to bed her, for instance. How would—

  Georgina felt her stomach flop, like a rock had been dropped down her throat. What would it be like with Jeremy? When he put himself inside her… She hugged her body, rubbing up and down her arms.

  He’d said she must trust in him, and that he would never hurt her. So that was what she must do. She would trust the man who had come back for her. Who said he wanted her, no matter her past. How can he be so sure?

  The soft knock at the door got her attention.

  She checked the time on the clock—just past eleven. Would Jeremy dare to come to her bedroom? He might.

  Georgina pulled on a dressing gown, belting the robe of golden yellow before padding to the door.

  “Who is there?”

  “Only me,” he answered.

  Georgina felt her heart speed up at the thought of Jeremy just behind the door. Knowing full well that he should not be there, and that she should not allow him entrance, she loosened the bolt and opened her door anyway. And there he stood. As handsome as ever and unabashedly bold Her betrothed stood at her door seeking entrance as if it were the most normal thing in the world to come to her bedroom in the night.

  “I saw the light coming from under your door a
nd figured you were awake. Still packing?”

  “Yes. I was just putting the last few things—”

  “Let me help you,” he blurted.

  “You—you want to come in?”

  “Yes, please.”

  Georgina stood aside to open the door all the way, and in he walked. Jeremy wasted no time in shutting and locking the door behind him, sealing them in her bedroom together. He leaned upon the door and faced her.

  “I had to see you.” He looked solemn before her, not his usual easy disposition.

  “Why?”

  “I just needed to see that you were safe and still determined to marry me in the morning. We were both very busy today.” He nodded toward the window. “Thought I might guard the window to keep you from bolting in the night,” he teased, but with a straight face.

  The teasing words relieved her instantly. “Jeremy. I pray you do know that I would never do such a beastly thing—leave you hanging at the altar.”

  His eyes got a devilish gleam to them. “I need reassurance that you won’t.” He held out his arms.

  Georgina couldn’t resist such an offer. Standing before her, still dressed in a dark suit, but missing the neck cloth, his hair a little disordered from dragging it back with his hands. The hair dragging was a habit she had observed in him more than once, and one she found very charming. That, and the fact that being in Jeremy’s arms was the most comforting place she’d ever known.

  When his arms closed around her, drawing her against his body, she could feel the hard strength of this man who she would soon call “husband.”

  Laying her head on his wide chest, she just breathed him in. The cloves and the soap he favored mixed with a trace of Scotch whiskey, filled her head. She found the elixir very soothing and realized the blended scents of his unique fragrance were already familiar to her. The notion struck that he was doing the very same with her—breathing in her scent.

  Jeremy rested his chin atop her head, draping his arms around her, settling his hands on either side of her waist.

  They stayed that way for a long time.

  “Are you reassured yet?” she finally asked.

  “A kiss or two might seal it for me.”

  She laughed softly and looked up at him. His clear blue eyes laughed back.

  “I’m not sure if that’s a good sign. I ask you for kisses, and you laugh at me.”

  She smiled wide.

  “But I love the sound of you laughing. And now you’re smiling, so I must not be too far off the mark.”

  Georgina pushed her face up closer to his. She looked at his lips, full and just a little bit parted. She wanted to kiss him. Closer. She offered her lips up to him.

  He accepted her offering, bridging the short distance between them without hesitation. This time his kiss was very soft. Slow. Careful. He drew his mouth wide and covered her lips with his. He held their mouths together in the gentlest caress. Instead of just smelling the scotch on him, she could now taste it, and decided she liked the tang.

  Jeremy pulled back first. He brought a thumb up and drew it down her lower lip achingly slow. “So sweet. The first proffered kiss from you. I want to remember you like this and never forget.”

  Georgina suddenly felt like she might cry. The way he looked at her, and touched her, and spoke to her tugged at her heartstrings. He made her feel special in a way she’d never experienced and filled her with the desire to please him. “Why did you really come?” she asked.

  “To see you. Spend a little time together. To let you know how much I want this.” He combed gentle fingers through her hair again. “We’ll be married in the morning, and tomorrow night we’ll be…home. It’s rushed, I know, and I don’t want you afraid of me. I thought, that in this way, it might ease the path for you.”

  “Oh.” Despite the shock of what he’d just told her, she was remarkably calm. Did he expect to claim a husband’s rights? Tonight?

  “You want to stay the night, in here, with me?” she asked, looking up at him again, now feeling awkward in their embrace and having no idea what to do.

  “Yes. If you’ll let me. I thought we could be together, and when you get drowsy, you may go to sleep. And I’ll be with you. I just want to help you get used to me.” Jeremy bent toward her for another kiss, seeking her mouth with his. He moved slowly over her lips, joining them together in a soft burn of moist flesh. His hands moved up to hold her face to him. “That is why, my sweetheart. So tomorrow night won’t be such a…new…thing between us,” he breathed against her mouth in between searching kisses that turned her inside out and left her weak in the knees. After another kiss, he pulled back slightly and asked, “So, may I stay?”

  Georgina could only nod at first. The words came hesitantly a few seconds later. “I trust—I trust you, Jeremy, and I know you will be…kind, as you always are to me.” Her chest was pounding so hard she was sure he must feel her. He had a point. Getting this over with would make tomorrow easier and show him she intended to do her duty. But by the gods, how could she let him—

  Before she could think about it too much, she stepped back, walked to the edge of the bed, turned and faced him, untied her golden dressing gown, and opened it, exposing the sheer shift she wore beneath and feeling as naked as if she wore nothing.

  Jeremy’s eyes widened, and he tilted his head forward. “What are you doing?” He sputtered the question even as his eyes swept over her body, probably clearly visible through the thin fabric.

  Georgina lifted her chin at him. “Getting ready for y–y–you to t–take me to bed.” She realized her mistake too late.

  “You thought—” He shook his head and frowned. “No! That’s not what I meant! That is not the reason I came in here tonight. You are mistaken. Georgina,” he admonished, looking appalled and maybe even somewhat hurt by her assumption.

  Oh God! He didn’t mean to bed me. Mortification filled her, and suddenly everything became too much. The emotions of the past day overwhelmed her and took hold. She buried her face in her hands and turned away so he wouldn’t see the tears.

  Jeremy was there in an instant though, cradling her from behind, as comforting and as strong as ever, the heat of his body bracing through the layers.

  “Shhhhh. I’m so sorry for upsetting you. You must think me the worst sort of man. That I would come to your rooms and demand such of you.” She felt his breath on the back of her neck, filtering through her hair as he moved his hands up and down her arms in a soothing way.

  “I misunder–s–s–stood you, J–Jeremy. I did not want to deny you that you might think me unable—unable to be a g–g–good wife…”

  “Hush now. I wouldn’t think that. I know you’ll be a good wife. This is all my fault. I pushed myself in here.” He took her hands gently away from her face and turned her around to him. “Forgive me for distressing you. I really did have good intentions. I—I wouldn’t expect you to—” He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead and stroked over her hair and down her neck. “Georgina. When we are together, in that way, we will be bound by the vows of matrimony.”

  “But that will be in the morning,” she reminded him, wanting to dive under the bedcovers and hide.

  “Yes. In the morning. But not right now. I just want to be near you and see you through the night.” He took the two halves of her dressing gown and overlapped them. “As much as I love the luscious view of you in your pretty nightdress, we’ll just wrap you back up so the carnal beast in me won’t be too sorely tempted.”

  He tied her belt closed with purposeful fingers. And Georgina’s heart melted anew at his chivalry. She wiped the tears off her cheeks, thinking she must look frightful.

  “A beast? Really, Jeremy? I never think of you like that. And I never will.” She shook her head at him.

  “Give it some time, sweetheart. I’ve no doubt you’ll see my beast. It’ll come ’round eventually,” he shot back with plenty of sarcasm.

  He still held her loosely, his hands resting at her waist. Georg
ina sensed that he needed to touch her, and did not mind in the slightest.

  “I truly doubt it. Others may be beastly, but not you.”

  He looked at her in puzzlement and cocked his head. “You are the only person, Georgina, who holds me in such lofty esteem, and I can’t for the life of me know the reason. I figure your opinion of me can only go down in direct proportion to the amount of time you spend in my company.” He winked. “All the more reason to wed you quickly, before you discover these things on your own.”

  Georgina couldn’t help the roll of her eyes. “Didn’t you gain entry into my room tonight by begging to help me pack up the last of my things?” She diverted their conversation to a safer topic and ignored his last comment.

  “I did indeed, my lady.” He bowed his head. “What did you have left?”

  “Just my books and drawing supplies.”

  “Show me.”

  They spent the next half hour wrapping up the few books and sketches she wanted to bring. Georgina observed him while he packed her things. She saw how he handled each item with awareness, considering the placement in the cases with thoughtful care and respect. He didn’t just cram the things in carelessly in order to finish the job.

  There was so much more to Jeremy than she had any inkling of, and she wondered what it would be like to truly know him. To learn his secrets. To know his likes and dislikes, his habits and his strengths. To discover his faults. Everyone had them. She sighed, thinking he would learn hers soon enough, and hoped he wouldn’t be too regretful in choosing her.

  It was strange to think about how they were pledging themselves to a lifetime partnership in the morning, with still so much unknown about one another.

  Georgina was glad for the simple task of packing up the last of her things. It diffused the awkwardness of before and helped put her embarrassing misstep behind them.

  “Ah. I’m glad you’re bringing this one.” He held up a small volume. “I actually wish to read it.”

  “Which one is that?”

  “The Works of Robert Herrick.”