Malik (Carter Brother Series Book 1)

by Lisa Helen Gray

  I miss my parents; I miss them so badly that lately I’ve been feeling guilty about enjoying life with my new friends. It’s been just over six weeks now since they died, but every day it kills me just a little bit more inside. The guilt I feel every time I laugh, or relax into my life eats away at me. I think it’s the reason for my nightmare last night because deep down I know my parents would want me to be happy. It also might be the whole Davis predicament I’m in and not having them here to protect me like they normally would.

  I guess I just don’t feel like I deserve to be happy when they’ll never get to do anything again. My heart breaks for my mom who will never know how her favourite TV series will end, or do all the things she wished she could when I left school. For my dad who will never get his sports car he had been saving up for or getting the promotion he had applied for. It also kills me I’ll never have them each and every day to talk to, or to have them watch me grow up, to have kids, to get married.

  Moving over to face the wall in my bed, I let the tears fall freely, curling up into a ball. It’s not the first time I’ve cried today and it certainly won’t be the last.

  It’s close to dinner time when the door to my room opens. The floorboards in this house are old and creaky, so trying to sneak up on someone is impossible. Thinking it’s just my Gram’s I stay curled up staring at the wall like I have done for the past few hours thinking about my parents and the life we had and will never get back.

  I’m surprised when my bed sinks down. My Gram’s hasn’t pestered me once today. Well, that’s a lie. She tried to get me to eat at lunch time, but I pretended to feel sick so she left me alone and went back downstairs.

  “I’m not hungry,’’ I mumble out quietly.

  “And here I was thinking the McDonalds Mason has left to go and get would cheer you up,’’ Malik says making me scream and jump.

  “Shit! What the hell are you doing here? I thought you were my Gram’s,’’ I scold him, my hand placed over my rapidly beating heart.

  “Ah, well, I’m too good looking to be your Nan, plus the wrong gender. I’m all male, baby,’’ he winks sending those crazy butterflies off in my belly and making my lips crack into a smile.

  “What are you doing here?’’ I ask once I’ve calmed down. Then I realise I look a mess. I’d literally thrown on one of my dad’s old t-shirts that I kept with a few other things of my parents when I got back from school this morning. Not only do I look a mess wearing it, but I’m only wearing panties on underneath. My hair must be a wild mess from tossing and turning all day in bed and I’m willing to put a fiver down that my eyes are red and swollen from crying most of the day.

  “You look gorgeous as always,’’ he smiles moving my hand away from where I’m trying to tame my wild bed hair. “And to answer your question, Granddad has taken your Gram’s out to see her friend Edna so I told her I’d make sure you ate. We have to choose our emotion for art class tomorrow anyway so this gives us a chance to do it. You are coming tomorrow, right?’’

  “Edna? Is that the crazy old lady who calls every two minutes ranting about someone trying to steal her gnomes?’’

  “That would be the one,’’ he laughs.

  “You have a great laugh,’’ I blurt out not meaning to.

  He smiles warmly at me with his head leaning forward an inch and I honestly believe he is going to kiss me, but then the bedroom door slams open with Mason and Denny in tow, making me raise my eyes at them. Did they come together? Or did they just happen to be outside at the same time? Not that I don’t like Mason, I do, but to like him with my best friend? Nu-huh.

  “I come bearing food,’’ Mason yells making me wince. I’ve gotten so used to it being silent all day, apart from when my sobs filled the room that his loud voice makes me wince and grab my head to keep it from exploding.

  “Yum,’’ I mutter sitting up in the bed. Malik sits up against the headboard, his long, muscular, lean legs stretched out in front of him. It’s still hard looking at him and remembering he’s a student. He looks so much older than his years. His large arms strain in the black t-shirt he’s sporting with a pair of worn out denim jeans. He looks freaking hot. When his eyes catch me ogling him he gives me that panty dropping smirk. The one that brings out those sensual dimples that make me want to nibble at them. Freaky? I know.

  “What?’’ he mouths, so the others don’t hear him.

  I just shrug my shoulders, grabbing the bag of food Denny passes me wearing a smirk on her face.

  “What?’’ I ask her, wondering if I’d missed something. “Did you ask me something?’’

  “No, but then I don’t think you would have heard me if I did, you were… preoccupied,’’ she grins.

  My cheeks flush red and I want to hide under the covers. How in the hell do I do this to myself? Not only did I get caught by the man I was actually ogling, but from my best friend too. Life can be so cruel.

  “So what are we doing for the night?’’ Mason asks.

  “I thought you were working?’’ Malik growls.

  “That was before I found Denny outside waiting to be let in,’’ he smirks at his brother, but also giving me the answer to my silent question from earlier.

  “Well, we’ve got to do our art project, so you’ll have to annoy someone else for the night.’’

  “What about Denny? Denny, you fancy coming to see my room to watch a movie?’’ Mason flirts making Denny blush.

  “As much as that invitation sounds exciting, I have plans.’’

  “Who with?’’ he asks sounding curious and kind of… jealous.

  “My parents. They have me going to this dinner thing tonight. I just wanted to pop by to check on Harlow,’’ she shrugs. “How are you doing? You rushed out pretty quickly this morning in registration. What was wrong?’’

  “Nothing really, I just felt unwell, so nothing major,’’ I lie, not wanting to talk about my parents in front of everyone.

  “You sure?’’

  “Positive. I’ll be back tomorrow, so you can stop missing me,’’ I tease.

  “Damn straight girl,’’ she chuckles before grabbing her bag. “Right, I’ll see you guys later,’’ she waves, her eyes lingering on Mason a little longer. When he doesn’t look up she sighs, walking to the door, but before she can open it to leave, Mason stands up calling her name.

  “Do you want a lift? I’m going to go into work as there’s nothing else to do around here. I’m not playing third wheel with these pair,’’ he sniggers.

  “We aren’t a couple,’’ I say offensively.

  “You keep telling yourself that,’’ he teases before looking back to Denny. “So? Want a lift.’’

  “Yeah sure,’’ she grins looking excited about it.

  He smiles, staring back at her longingly before grabbing his bag of food and following her out.

  “And then there were two,’’ Malik says and when I look up at him I find him grinning.

  “Huh?’’

  “I honestly didn’t think we’d get rid of him. He’s been acting weird since we watched that movie Tuesday. I swear, I could have kicked his ass yesterday for being a grumpy shit,’’ he chuckles.

  “He doesn’t seem the type to be grumpy,’’ I say before taking a huge bite of the double cheese burger Mason had gotten me and moans. I’ve missed junk food. My parent’s only let me eat it every few months or so. They were all about healthy eating and shit. My Gram’s is also the same, but I have noticed the way she will eye cupcakes in town through the window, so I don’t think it will take much persuading on my part to get her to break.

  “Oh he’s not. Anyway, have you had anymore thoughts on the project? I came up with an idea earlier and wanted to run it past you?’’ he says.

  “Shoot,’’ I tell him, shoving about five fries all at once in my mouth that makes him laugh and shake his head at me.

  “She said that they were going to separate emotions right, but work them into one painting or drawing etcetera. So I was
thinking it’d be easier for us to draw what emotions we see in each other.’’

  I think it over for a few minutes wondering if that’s even wise considering. Not that I’m not intrigued as to what he sees in me, I am, but it could also be something I don’t want to know.

  “And what do you see in me Malik?’’ I ask when I manage to gain some confidence.

  “Sadness, pain, light,’’ he says sadly. “What about me?’’

  I think that over looking at him in the eyes, trying to forget what he sees in me as I’m unsure what to think about his light comment, “Honestly?’’ I ask hoping he doesn’t want me to name his emotions, but then he nods. “Darkness, but you’re searching for more. Okay, maybe I haven’t said that right,’’ I mutter. “When I see you I guess I see more than emotion. I see past the hurt, the pain, the anger, I see you. You’re a fighter.’’

  “No, you are right. My whole life I’ve been surrounded by darkness and as cheesy as this may sound to you, you’re my light. The minute I set eyes on you, you blinded me. You knocked me for six and you never even knew it,’’ he says looking down at his hands. My belly flips over, shivers racing down my spine from his words. Malik doesn’t talk much; in fact, he’s never given much away about himself other than the basics, so for him to tell me this much is a massive step. It also makes me like him even more knowing he can be honest with me and not put on an ‘I don’t care’ facade like any other teenage boy would do.

  “What happened to you?’’ I whisper out loud.

  “I…my dad, my mom, they weren’t like your parents Harlow. They weren’t good people. After mom left when we were just kids, and my dad, my dad, I wish he’d have left us when we were kids,’’ he says, his eyes distant and his body rigid. I don’t want to pry anymore knowing that whatever it is that is running through his mind right now is haunting him. Softly, I rest my hand against his warm shoulder, slightly rubbing it to soothe him. Then he flinches making me jump, like my touch had burnt him. Shaking his head, like he’s getting rid of his demons, he looks at me with that cocky smirk of his, only now it doesn’t reach his eyes.

  I smile back, letting him know I’m not going to press anymore. When he’s ready to talk to me about it I know he’ll come to me. The connection between us is strong. It’s strong enough to make me trust whatever this is between us and not think about how fast everything is moving. Sometimes it feels like it’s moving too slow, but then I remember we haven’t known each other that long.

  “So what shall we do?’’ I ask gesturing to the topic.

  “I think those could work. Might be a bit gloom and doom, but it will work. Do you have any idea on what picture to draw?’’ he asks me, as we start packing all the food wrappers up.

  I think about it for a while, lying back down on my bed to get comfy. Malik follows by lying down next to me, our arms pressed together and our pinkie fingers lightly touching. I can feel my little finger inching to move closer, to link it with his, but I don’t want to look like an idiot.

  As if reading my thoughts, Malik reaches the short space between us, but instead of linking our little fingers together, he interlocks our hands together. His large hand feels warm and good wrapped around my tiny one and it has me wishing we could stay like this forever.

  We stay this way for a while, both our minds going over our projects or at least mine is trying to, but all I can think about is his hand in mine and how good it feels to be there. Plus, I really want to know what the hell is going on between us, if there is an us. It’s another thing that confuses me about him. He acts like we’re a couple, but I’m pretty sure my memo got lost in the post or something. I don’t even know when it happened or how. Then again I would never pursue Malik like he has me, so in a way I’m thankful to him making the first move.

  It’s when Malik’s phone starts ringing that I realise I lost track of time. We’d been lying there for over an hour doing nothing but staring at the ceiling holding hands.

  “Yeah?’’ he asks. “Oh hi, yes, that’s fine. I’ll stay over here. Okay, does she want to talk to her? Okkkaayyyy then,’’ he says drawing out his response and looking at his phone funny.

  “What? I ask, seriously dying to laugh at his expression.

  “Your Nan isn’t coming back tonight. Edna has been taken in to the hospital, so she and my Granddad are going to stay with her. They think it was a heart attack. Um… someone… from what Granddad said will need to stay in overnight with her. They’d gone over to sort the gnomes situation out once and for all, but then when Edna opened the door she found all her gnomes back,’’ he chuckles.

  “Huh?’’ I ask wondering if Edna’s okay or if this is some sort of joke and I’m missing the punch line. It wouldn’t be the first time that’s happened. He can’t seriously be laughing when an old woman is in hospital.

  “Hey, I’m not laughing at her, I’m laughing at the situation,’’ he says, his lips twitching.

  “Well… What is the situation then?’’ I ask frustrated.

  “They put the gnomes back, but they were all in sexual positions, some having dicks and tits drawn on them,’’ he laughs, then I can’t help it, I burst out laughing. How the hell does my Gram’s know her? My laugh gets louder and louder, I can’t help it I snort, which has me laughing harder. I’m not laughing that she’s in the hospital, that’d be disrespectful, but I’m laughing over the garden gnomes. Whoever did it didn’t mean any harm. I will have to admit though, the thought of someone doing that to her gnomes is funny as fuck.

  “So she’s not coming back?’’ I ask wiping away my tears still chuckling.

  “No, they’re going to stay there until they know more on her condition, then they’re going to head back to Edna’s to get her some clean clothes and shit. That’s all I know. In the background I could hear your Nan telling Granddad to put the moby thingy away,’’ he chuckles.

  “Sounds like Gram’s. Hold on, you said you were staying. Staying here?’’ I ask suddenly, my mouth dry.

  “Yeah, Granddad said to come around to take you back to ours, but you’d never get any sleep at ours, trust me, so I said here.’’

  I want to tell him that I hardly sleep anyway, but then I’d have to tell him about the nightmares which I don’t fancy doing.

  “What do you want to do then?’’ I ask looking at the time. It’s getting late now, usually I’d be getting ready to go to bed, read for a while and then go to sleep. With Malik here though, I don’t know what to do.

  “What do you usually do now?’’

  “Um… I need to take a shower and get ready for bed. I usually read or watch a movie before falling asleep,’’ I shrug.

  “Well you go take a shower, I’m going to head home to take a shower, grab my school shit then I’ll be back. I’ll grab a film while I’m over there,’’ he grins.

  “Malik?’’ I call, stopping him from leaving.

  “Yeah,’’ he says as he gathers up the McDonalds rubbish.

  “Where will you be sleeping?’’ I whisper my face flushed.

  “Here with you,’’ he says like it’s no big deal. I mean, yeah, we slept together the first night I really met him and had an anxiety attack in front of him, but this is different. My breathing escalates rapidly, my palms sweating from nerves of the thought of being alone all night, in a bed, with Malik Carter. Strange thing is I like the sound of it.

  “In my bed?’’ I squeak out.

  “Um yeah,’’ he says looking at me confused. “Don’t worry Harlow, I don’t bite,’’ he grins.

  “What if I do?’’ I blurt out, then groan once I realise what I just said.

  “I’d probably like it,’’ he says hoarsely, his eyes a shade darker than they were a moment ago.

  A noise comes from the back of my throat, its in-between a groan and a-humph sound. Malik just grins giving me one last wink before he turns leaving the room.

  “Hurry up Harlow; I’ll be back soon,’’ he shouts from the stairs snapping me out of my haz
e.

  Finding myself grinning I jump up off the bed, moving to the bathroom to take a shower.

  Three quarters of an hour later I emerge from the shower. Drying off, I wrap a towel around me before wrapping another one around my hair.

  Fuck! I say to myself when I realise I never brought any clothes inside with me. With Malik consuming my thoughts, everything else went out the window. Sighing I grab my toothbrush, making quick work to brush them so I can go get my clothes.

  Making my way quickly tiptoeing over to my drawers, I grab a fresh pair of knickers, bra, and my comfy pyjama set. Turning to head back to the bathroom I scream dropping all of the items along with my towel to the floor when I see Malik sitting on my bed wearing a smirk. That soon vanishes and his eyes widen with surprise and desire. That’s when I realise the towel just dropped in my stupidity. I should have guessed he would already be here.

  “Shit,’’ I squeak bending back down to grab my towel. When I stand back up Malik is standing in front of me, his eyes hooded and his expression intense. He keeps his eyes looking into mine, not straying to look at my body like any other teenage boy would have done by now.

  I make sure the towel is tightly secure before I try to take a step back, but my feet land in a tangle in the clothes I dropped, making me fall back. I close my eyes waiting for the pain to come from the fall, and the humiliation of making a fool out of myself twice in the span of five minutes. The pain doesn’t come, instead strong arms wrap around my waist bringing me flush against a rock hard body. When I open my eyes, he’s staring down at me with so much emotion I have to swallow back the lump in the back of my throat.

  “You’re so beautiful,’’ he tells me huskily, making my stomach flutter and my skin tingle from where he’s touching me. “You don’t even see how beautiful you are,’’ he says, but it doesn’t sound like he’s talking to me anymore but himself.