Leap of Faith (La Flor #1)

by Ml Rodriguez

  She laughs at me but still answers.

  “Things are going well. Papa made burgers and cheesy fries for the peanut because she just had to have some or she would starve. Josilyn was in awe of the house, but is getting over that and sees that Nana and Papa are normal grandparents that spoil us rotten. Am I nervous? Hmmm … yes and no. I have butterflies in my stomach but I’m also anxious to get goin.’ Once I get out there, everything will become alright. As long as I’m on the field, I can do anything. Plus, Aunt Julia is gonna be there—which is nice since I’ll know a coach—but at the same time, they’ll all be expectin’ a lot from me. Josilyn is kinda freakin’ out since this is her first camp.”

  “Well, you knew from the very beginnin’ that those trainers were gonna be expectin’ a lot from you. Sometimes it stinks havin’ me as your momma. But you’ve already made a name for yourself on your own, and I’m so proud of you. Soccer is your passion; don’t let anything get to you. You’re gonna be amazin.’ Show them what you got and blow their socks off with your soccer skills. Tell Josilyn she’s gonna rock. She’s gonna be awesome; tell her to just go out there and play her best, and everything will fall into place. Did Nana get you your purple Skittles?”

  “I will, Momma. Yes, Nana got me my Skittles. A huge bag. I didn’t know they made bags that big,” she says, chuckling. “She said the bigger the bag, the better the luck.”

  I laugh at my mother-in-law’s antics; that sounds like something she would do. I bet she had to call Mars to get a bag that big produced just for her granddaughter. She’s humble, kind-hearted, amazing, and a hoot, and I wouldn’t trade her for the world.

  “Nana would definitely say that,” I say. “Alright, baby girl, good luck today and always. Lots of kisses”—I send her some through the phone. “I love you always and forever.”

  “Always and forever, Momma. Bye, Zane! Love you! Keep my Momma happy,” she yells through the phone, making sure that Zane hears her.

  “I will,” he answers, laughing. “Take care, girl. If you need anything call, you hear me?”

  “I will,” she answers. “Here’s Nana. Tschüss!”

  Those six years in German stuck with her. She’s kept up with the language, through tutoring, that Jake and I feared she’d lose once coming back stateside, and she started teaching Skylar the language. My poor baby is probably confused learning her third language, but her sister turned out alright, so I guess I shouldn’t worry. I just tell myself that knowing multiple languages makes them more employable in the future.

  “So I hear there’s a certain young man there with you,” she says without greeting.

  “Well, hello to you too,” I say. “Yes, Zane’s here. Are you okay?” I ask, fearing that I’ve upset her.

  “Oh, mija. Why would you think otherwise? Of course I’m okay. I’m ecstatic for you, actually.”

  “I was worried you’d be upset. I don’t want you to think that I’m replacin’ Jake.”

  “Faith. I’d never think that. My son has been gone for a very long time. He’d want you to be happy and if Zane makes you happy, then we’re happy,” she tells me. “I was starting to get worried about you; not one single young man had turned your head in all these years. I’m glad that Zane came into your life. You are still young and deserve to be truly happy. You’re an amazing and wonderful mother and you’ve done so much for the girls. You’ve pulled yourself through a personal hell. I’m proud of you and so is Jacob. Jake would be so proud and happy for you, Faith. I know you loved my son more than life itself. You stood by him through thick and thin and you put him in his place when he needed it. You stood by his side always. God took him too soon, but you’re still here and deserve to live a full life. I love you, Faith. Don’t ever think I’m upset over Zane. I know you wouldn’t bring him into the girls’ lives if you weren’t serious about him—if you didn’t care for him deeply.”

  “Thank you, Carmen,” I say gratefully. “I was so scared I was doin’ something wrong. I like him a lot. I don’t want you to think that I dumped the girls on you so I could spend time with him.”

  “Psshh, mija. We both know that you’d rather have the girls there with you right now and you hate to be separated from them. Thank you for letting them come visit. Jacob and I are so happy to have them here with us. We’re going to spoil them rotten and then send them home at the end of the week. We miss them so much when they’re gone. This house needs to have some happy noise every now and then. Use this time to spend time with your beau. Have some fun, if you know what I mean.” I can just imagine her wagging her eyebrows at me.

  “Carmen, you’re a hoot,” I say, laughing. “Only you’d tell me to go have sex with my boyfriend.” Zane perks up and pokes me when I say the word boyfriend—he mouths, “I’m your man.”

  “Niña, I may be old but Jacob and I still have a very healthy marriage.”

  “Oh my God! TMI!” I semi-yell, laughing at my mother-in-law. “I’m gonna hang up on that. My daughters better not be scared for life after visitin’ your home!”

  “Don’t worry, we’ll lock the door,” she says, laughing at me. “Goodbye, mija and have fun.”

  “Bye, Carmen. Give my best to Jacob, and a hug and kiss. I miss y’all,” I say and hang up the phone.

  “So … what’s this about havin’ sex?” Zane asks.

  “Oh my, really, Zane,” I say, laughing.

  “Well I was fine until I heard ‘sex’; how am I not supposed to ask?”

  “Carmen is a very open mother-in-law. She would always tell me to dress sexy when pickin’ up Jake after he arrived from his deployments or when I’d Skype with him to show him what was waitin’ at home for him,” I tell him. “Now, with you, she’s tellin’ me to have fun with you, if you know what I mean.” I giggle at the end of my explanation.

  “Well, that’s a bit weird, but if she’s tellin’ you to have ‘fun’ with me, who am I to argue?” He asks me and then pounces on me. I let out a surprise squeal as I go down on the bed and then there’s a very sexy man pressing his very naked body against mine. He proceeds to show me how much he loves my curves and my taste. He takes his time stroking me and worshiping my body before making me see heaven.

  Afterwards, all I can think is how blessed I am to have such a wonderful man come into my life. I’ve been given a second chance at happiness and I’m going to take full advantage. I’ll enjoy it, however long it lasts.

  The rest of the week flies by. Whenever Zane and I aren’t at work, we’re spending time together. I’m finally going to meet the rest of the guys, his buddies from the firehouse, at O’Bannon’s tonight after work. Zane even invited Gunner along as a sign of good faith and Gunner accepted the invitation, surprising us both.

  When we first arrive it’s a bit awkward, but after a few drinks, Gunner relaxes and gets used to seeing Zane’s arm around me. The past days have been full of tension between us, but Gunner is starting to see the change in my demeanor. He’s noticed my smile is different and that I’m happy. He’s starting to accept that Zane is the man for me.

  I’ve told him continuously how much he means to me, and that I love him only as a friend. I think he’s finally realizing that we were never meant for each other. Gunner looks at Zane and me every now and then, but instead of being angry, he’s assessing the situation. He’s assuring himself that Zane is good to me. Tonight is the first time he is seeing us together and he’s realizing how good the two of us are together. I know he accepts it when he nods in our direction and gives me the first smile in days. I smile at him and lean into Zane. He turns back to the conversation, leaving me to Zane.

  Zane’s buddies are hilarious and I get along just fine with all of them. It’s the barflies that give me the evil eye and annoy the hell out of me when they approach Zane. At first it bothers me, but soon I just brush those looks off and pity their useless efforts to get Zane’s attention. It’s their problem if they don’t like the fact that he’s with me. Throughout the whole night, Zane never leaves
my side and not once does he glance at them. A couple of them try to get his attention, but he soon puts an end to that when he introduces me as his woman. He lets them know he’s serious about me and they are wasting their efforts with him, and they should focus on the rest of the single guys at our table or around the bar.

  Most listen to him and leave him alone, but there are a couple that refuse to listen. What surprises me and embarrasses me is that they ignore Zane’s words. That’s when he gets rude.

  “You don’t seem to understand, so let me put this in a manner that you will.” Zane points at me. “Look at her,” he tells a bleach-blonde, fake-breasted bimbo wearing too-tight clothes. “Now, look at you,” and he points at the clueless woman. “She’s what I want and not you. Why would I want someone that’s had almost every dick in this bar inside of them when I have her in my life? She’s class while you’re not and she gives amazin’ head. Not only that, but she’s fuckin’ incredible in bed and keeps me satisfied. So satisfied that I can’t even move after she has her way with me. Now, get gone and go try to pick up someone else or I’ll have you banned from here.” He was very harsh and rude but they were just not listening.

  They finally clue in and leave. I’m red in the face. “Did you just really announce to everyone that I give great head?” I ask him, mortified.

  “Babe, not great head—amazin’ head, fuckin’ awesome, incredible. There’s a difference, and you leave me so fuckin’ worn out that I can’t move afterwards.”

  “Zane! You don’t say that in public. What’s everyone gonna think now?” This is one of those times you want the earth to open up and swallow you whole.

  “Faith, they’re thinkin’ I’m a lucky bastard and that you’re fuckin’ hot. You’re like that song says, ‘A lady on the street and a freak in the bed.’ They wish they were in my shoes and had you in their beds, but too fuckin’ bad for them—you’re mine and only I will ever get to taste you, fuck you, and love you. No one else. And, I couldn’t let them disrespect you, Faith. I had to say somethin’ and put them in their place.”

  I don’t even bother to respond to this. It’s a losing battle, especially when all the guys are laughing their asses off and teasing Zane about being pussy-whipped and “man-down.” I just order another Tequila Sunrise and enjoy the rest of the evening with my man.

  Later that night, when we get home, he shows me how much we belong together and makes love to me “where I can see how fuckin’ incredible and hot I am,”—in front of the mirrors.

  Before I know it, it’s time to meet the girls. Zane, Jackie, and I head to Dallas for prom dress shopping and to bring them home.

  Before heading out to the mall, I inform Zane that this is serious business and he should stay with Jacob. He laughs when I tell him he wouldn’t last all day with us.

  “Faith, if I can lay in wait days for a target, I can definitely handle dress shoppin’ with my girls for a day.”

  And like any man who thinks he knows best, he decides to prove me wrong.

  Ha, he should’ve listened to me. When will he learn?

  Hour one, he’s into the shopping. He decides to help and picks out all these … um … horrendous dresses—dresses even my grandmother wouldn’t wear. They’re more like potato sacks or muumuus. And of course, they’re all rejected.

  Hour two. Since he was a failure with the dresses, he decides to try his hand at picking shoes. Poor man. Let’s just say that man has no place trying to dress the opposite sex. Thank goodness I have Julia to help me coordinate outfits because he’ll be absolutely no help. Again, his picks are all put back.

  By hour three, he’s done and accepts defeat. He decides to take Skylar to a movie and “do whatever the hell she wants” just as long as it’s away from dresses and our crazy selves.

  “Y’all are like fuckin’ military generals plannin’ a takeover by the way y’all go about lookin’ for the perfect dress. Skylar will be in college before y’all are satisfied,” he grumbles. “Let’s go, princess. Save me.”

  “I told you so,” I tell him, laughing.

  Skylar decides to take pity on him. They head out to have fun “away from this nightmare” as Zane puts it. And our day continues.

  Several hours later, Rylee and Josilyn have each found the perfect dress. Successful in our mission, we head back to Carmen and Jacob’s house. We pack up the girls’ belongings and load the vehicles. We relent and let the girls head back alone in Rylee’s Jeep. Even Skylar begs. Zane, Jackie and I get into Zane’s truck. It’s filled not only with the girls’ dresses, but also a closetful of other clothes that we just had to have. It’s a good thing we brought the truck and the bed is covered; our loot wouldn’t have fit in the Jeep.

  Two hours later, we arrive at our house. Josilyn and Jackie head home, and the rest of us decide on take-out. I’m worried about how this is going to work. How am I going to sleep without Zane in my bed holding me tight? I feel guilty—I’m excited my daughters are home but at the same time, I’m dreading my lonely night.

  I don’t expect the girls to take matters into their own hands.

  “Zane, you’re stayin’ the night, right?” Rylee asks, making us choke on our food.

  Surprised, we look at each other. How do we answer that question? We want to be together, but we fear it might set a bad example or upset the girls’ routine.

  But before either one of us can answer “no,” Skylar pipes up.

  “Of course he is, silly,” she answers. “Tomorrow mornin,’ he’s gonna make me French toast with strawberries on top, eggs, and bacon—my favoritest breakfast.”

  “Baby,” I say softly to my youngest, “Zane can’t spend the night with us. He has to go home to his house.”

  “Well, why can’t he stay here?” Skylar asks, blinking her eyes slowly. Oh, boy.

  Rylee looks at me and Zane and I look at each other.

  “Princess,” he answers, “I can’t spend the night—” Before he can finish, Skylar surprises us.

  “But I want you to stay,” she says, close to tears. “You make my mommy happy. I don’t want her to cry at night. She used to cry at night and I don’t want her to cry anymore. You make her smile like the princesses in my movies do. I don’t like it when she cries. Please stay, Zane,” she pleads.

  My heart breaks.

  I didn’t realize my girls knew about my lonely nights.

  “Oh, baby,” I say with a voice full of emotion. “Why didn’t you say anything before?”

  I’ve worked hard to hide my tears from them—to always put up a strong front in their presence. During the day I was strong, but when night came—I could let myself go. I never thought anyone could hear me, especially Skylar.

  “I told Rylee the first time I heard you,” she replies, and I look at my eldest daughter. She looks back at me with glistening eyes. “She told me not to say anything to you that it would only make you sadder. She said that sometimes grown-ups cry when they are sad, and that you were sad because Daddy was gone and you missed him very, very much. With Zane, you smile a happy smile, Momma. I don’t want you to cry anymore. Zane makes you happy.”

  I can’t hold it in any longer; I turn and walk out of the kitchen. As I’m walking out, I hear my Skylar ask, “Is Momma okay?”

  “Yes, princess, your Momma is okay. Just give her a minute and she’ll be back,” Zane reassures her.

  I get to the living room when I feel a hand on me. I turn and I find Rylee. She has tears running down her face.

  “I’m sorry, Momma,” she says.

  “No, Rylee,” I cry. “I’m the one that’s sorry. Y’all should never have heard me cry. I’ve tried so hard to be strong for all of us. Your daddy—he was the love of my life. I was so sure we would spend the rest of our lives together. When I lost him, it hurt so much. The days were about my two babies, but the nights—those were so hard for me. Silly me, thinkin’ I could close the door to keep y’all from hearin.’”

  “The peanut is right, Momma. Let Zane stay,
at least for tonight. Since you’ve been with him, you actually smile a real smile. You’re better with him. He’s good with Skylar and with me—he’s even offered to beat the crap outta any guy that makes me cry. He’s tryin’ so hard, Momma, to be here for us—to make things easier and to be part of our family. All we want is for you to be happy and to find love again. I could be selfish and make things harder for y’all, but I’m not because you accepted me all those years ago as your daughter and have loved and raised me. Now, it’s my turn to accept the man that wants to love you.”

  She comes to me and I hold her tight.

  We cry.

  We cry for each other, for the man we both lost too soon, and for Skylar because she never got to meet the incredible man that her father was. We hold each other for what seems forever, but is really mere seconds, before letting go. I give Rylee a kiss, wipe my face, and we both head back to the kitchen. As we walk in, we see Zane holding a crying Skylar. Her face turned into him, tears and snot drenching his tee shirt. Zane doesn’t seem to notice, and he holds my baby tight. He’s murmuring words into her ear and we see him kiss the top of her head. My heart melts at the sight.

  They hear us enter and Skylar lifts her head.

  “I’m sorry, Momma. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

  “No, sweetie,” I say reassuringly. “I was just surprised and I had to get myself together. Why are you cryin,’ my little peanut?”

  “I just want you to be okay, Momma. Don’t make Zane leave, please. He makes you happy and he makes us happy.”

  “Okay,” I say, looking at Zane. “Zane can stay the night. If things feel weird to y’all or y’all feel uncomfortable, please let me know. The two of you will always come first and Zane knows this. We love y’all and want what is best for y’all.”

  At these words, Skylar jumps out of Zane’s lap and runs to me. She hugs Rylee and me. It’s the three of us like it’s been for years. Then, both girls turn and look at Zane.