by Ml Rodriguez
I let out another big sob. He gives up and just holds me. Gunner has my girls and Zane is holding me tight.
Finally, after a couple of minutes, my sobs subside and I start to calm down. I lean back and look at the amazing and considerate man that I am lucky to have in my life.
“Thank you, honey. Thank you for being here with me and for gettin’ to know Jake,” I tell him. “I love you.”
“I love you too, Faith. Can you please stop cryin’ now? When you cry, I don’t know what to do and I hate that shit. I hate not knowing how to make you feel better and I don’t like it when you cry. I associate cryin’ with pain and sadness and I definitely don’t like it. You done now?”
“Yes, honey,” I say, chuckling. “I was cryin’ happy tears because you’re so sweet and amazin.’”
“Babe, I’m not sweet,” he growls. “I’m a badass motherfucker and we’re not sweet—we protect what is ours, and you and the girls are mine to love and protect. Now, can we please get up and have the picnic. I’m pretty sure that Jake hated it when you cried. So get your cute little ass up and feed us, woman.”
“You’re right,” I say. “He hated it anytime I cried. Okay, honey, let’s go get you and the girls fed. Skylar is probably starvin.’”
This makes him laugh because the little girl that’s become his princess is always starvin.’ He gives me his hand and helps me up. With his arm around my waist, we turn and face the rest of the crowd. I notice everything has been set out. The food is laid out, the drinks separated with beer for the men, wine for the ladies and juice for the girls. Jax has his guitar out and is seated, ready to take requests from Rylee and Skylar. My parents draw me into a hug and Carmen and Jacob follow. Everyone is ready to spend our day remembering what a great man my Jake was.
As the day progresses, the guys tell stories of how Jake was during their deployments and at work. They have us in tears laughing at the time Jake was flipping out in his room when Duke decided to catch a camel spider—myth has it they are rather big, scary spiders—and released it in Jake and Gunner’s room. In reality, it was a normal size spider that wanted to be left in peace, but Jake plain did not like spiders—from the moment we married, I became the spider exterminator in our household. That story is followed by many others from the rest of us. Skylar makes her way to Zane’s lap and he holds her as he hears stories about what type of man Jake was. Skylar listens as well to the stories that will be her only way of knowing her father.
Before we know it, it’s three o’clock in the afternoon, and Rylee has to leave to get ready for prom. Zane, Rylee, Skylar and I pack up all of our things and kiss everyone goodbye. My parents are staying at the Hilton and we’ll be meeting at our house for prom pictures, and then a quick dinner later in the evening before their late flight back home. We make our way to the Jeep and get in. Before joining us, I see Zane look up to the sky, his lips moving, and I could swear I see something surround him.
After two long hours of getting ready, Rylee comes down the stairs looking like a Greek goddess in her ivory floor-length dress. The dress is an off-the- shoulder affair embellished with gold and diamond jewels on the top of the shoulder drape and around the waist. It fits her beautifully and she looks so grown up. She’s wearing gold strappy heels that are visible through the slit, which goes up to about three inches above her knees. Her hair is down and curled in a tousled look, and her make-up is flawless. She looks beautiful and I feel tears coming on.
Rylee is growing up so fast.
Jake would be so proud of his little princess.
Zane, Jacob, and my Daddy are in the living room with Rylee’s date. As she walks down the stairs, Dean turns to face her. His face is freezes in amazement. We ladies have our cameras out and quickly start taking pictures. Zane jumps up, beating Dean to Rylee, and the boy quickly wipes an irritated look off his face. Zane gives Rylee a hug and whispers into her ear. She looks up at him and smiles her beautiful smile, and I capture the moment. My father follows Zane after giving him his time and then he, too, hugs and kisses our Rylee. He whispers in her ear and is rewarded with a smile. Jacob follows and gets his time with his granddaughter. He steps back, and Dean finally gets her attention. He hands her the red rose corsage—not a good choice since her favorite flowers are blue orchids, but I tell myself it’s the thought that counts. Thirty minutes and hundreds of pictures later, they head out the door.
“I love you,” I tell my daughter. “Always and forever.” My eyes are watery. “Daddy would be so proud.”
“You look like a princess,” Skylar tells her sister. “Can I come with you?”
“I hope so, Momma. I know he’s watchin’ over us from Heaven. One day, we’ll see him again,” Rylee tells me confidently. “I love you too, Momma, always and forever.”
She turns to her sister. “Sorry, Peanut, you can’t come with me; it’s just for big people.”
“Fine,” Skylar huffs and walks away with a pout.
“Be careful, Rylee. You,” he glares at Dean. “Take care of our girl. You understand?”
“Yes, sir,” is the only reply as Dean looks out the door.
“Rylee, you call me if you need anything. Anything. No matter the time, you hear?” Zane calls out.
“I will, Zane, thank you,” she answers. “Take care of Momma and Skylar and have fun with Grandma and Grandpa. Bye, Nana, Papa, Grandma and Grandpa. Love y’all,” she says as she heads out the door.
Our arms are around each other, our bodies close together. My head is on Zane’s chest as I watch my beautiful daughter walk out the door. Tears are streaming down my cheeks—the five-year-old little girl I fell in love with so many years ago is now a beautiful young lady. How I wish Jake was here to see her.
I didn’t know it, but that was the last time I would see my Rylee—my Rylee with beautiful green and innocent eyes, full of life and fearlessness. If I had known that, I never would have let her walk out that door. Five years ago, our lives were changed by tragedy, and today, Zane and I unknowingly let my daughter walk out the door and into the hands of a monster.
Zane
Today, I gained the acceptance of her family and friends. We spent the day reminiscing over memories of a damn good man—a husband, father, son, friend, and soldier. I got to hold my little princess as she heard stories of the father she never got to meet. I was there for my woman and my girls.
Jake was a good man. Knowing how much love they shared, I believe life played a shitty hand when it took him so young. We may never understand why, but we have to accept. As Faith believes, everything happens for a reason.
I’m lucky to have Faith’s love. I have the amazing woman she has become in my life and I’ll fight till my dying breath to keep her.
I just need to make sure that the little secret I haven’t told won’t tear us apart. Because, man, it could make us or break us. I just have to make her understand.
26 April 2013
That night I go to bed without a care in the world—I’m in the arms of the man I love, my daughters are safe, and Zane’s been accepted by everyone.
My world is perfect.
Nothing can go wrong.
Despite busy schedules and being located all over the world, everyone managed to take a little time off to come be with us on this day, and we greatly appreciate it. The only one missing was Gabriel, but with everything going on in his neck of the woods, he couldn’t get away.
Carmen and Jacob head back home because she needed to get some last-minute things ready for her show the following day. It was a rushed visit, but at least they were able to be here for us and to see Rylee head out to her senior prom. After goodbye kisses and promises of visits, they head back to Dallas.
Now, it’s just us and my parents. We decide to meet at my favorite restaurant, Olive Garden, for dinner. Oh! The deliciousness of the place—the breadsticks and the salad, the unlimited refills with an entrée and their frozen margaritas and mudslides … Yummy!
This dinner is the la
st one I will have with my parents before they fly back to Italy, and it’s mainly for Zane and Daddy—their bonding time. During dinner, my parents get to know Zane—well, it’s more Daddy interrogating him and Momma and me catching up, with Skylar coloring. They definitely notice how wonderful Zane is with Skylar. He treats her like a little princess and she has him wrapped around her little finger.
“Faith, that boy looks at you like you’re his whole world. His eyes are always on you or Skylar and he makes sure that y’all have whatever y’all need. He even cut her chicken for her, darlin’! I always prayed you’d find another wonderful man and I see my prayers have been answered,” she says with tears in her eyes. “He’s even won your father over and you know how hard he is. He was ready to scare the boy away when you first called us to let us know about him. Now, I don’t think he needs to do that or even wants to.”
We both turn to look at our men and one little princess. Skylar is keeping both of them entertained with tales from her Pre-K class. She has both men captivated. My heart is filled with love. My father approves of Zane. He did put him through the ringer with his questions, but Zane held his own like a champ. Mama and I just lean back and enjoy the show that Skylar is providing while we catch up on all the family gossip—mainly, we discuss my brother, Cristian.
Much later, my father comes to my side.
“Pumpkin, you’ve done well. He’s a good man—Special Forces and now a firefighter. Damn good man you got there, pumpkin. He treats y’all like I treat your mother and you kids. He’s always watchin’ y’all, makin’ sure there’s no danger—I like that and I can rest comfortable at home now. And, he held his own when I questioned him. Jake would’ve liked him. I can imagine he’s sittin’ up there in heaven drinkin’ a beer and watchin’ Zane take care of his girls. I love y’all, Pumpkin. You, Skylar, and Rylee.”
Despite being in the military for over three decades and living in numerous countries, neither he nor momma have lost their accent. Or their pride in their home state. As they always say, “God bless Texas!”
The night continues with drinks—for me anyway, since Zane is driving—and lots of talking. My parents and I haven’t seen each other in well over a year and we want to know everything that has occurred during that time period. We share pictures and Zane tells them his side of “our story,” making my parents laugh with his description of my escape attempts and the scrapes I got myself into. Everything is wonderful and good.
Then it is time for my parents to leave.
After a tearful “see you soon” to my parents, Zane helps a very tipsy me into the Jeep and straps a sleepy Skylar into her car seat. He ensures we’re both buckled in before getting into the vehicle and taking us home.
“Babe, do I need to carry you inside and put you to bed too?” He asks.
“Nah, honey, I’m good.” I giggle. “I’m feelin’ soooo good; you’re gonna be a very lucky man tonight.” I look at him as seductively as I can after a few drinks. “I just need you to get our little peanut to bed and then I’m gonna Rock. Your. World.”
“Alright,” he replies chucking. “Ready. Set. Go!”
He hurries out of the Jeep and grabs Skylar, and I quickly follow him.
When the hell did these shoes get so hard to walk in? I’m only wearing four-and-a-half-inch heels, but still … I stumble into the house and head up the stairs to Skylar’s room. I give her a goodnight kiss and make sure she has her nightlight on.
After Zane gives her his kiss, I grab him by his shirt and basically drag him to our room. I throw him on the bed and watch his body bounce. He looks at me smiling and my heart stops. He’s so handsome and he’s all mine. All mine. I’m one lucky woman.
I take a few steps back and take my clothes off, leaving only my bra, panties, and heels on. I make my way to the bed, swaying my hips like Jessica Rabbit. I unpin my hair on the way and shake it loose. I feel so sexy walking towards him—due largely in part to the alcohol, as well as the look he’s giving me—like I’m the most beautiful woman in the world and the only thing that exists for him.
I reach him, climb on top, and straddle him. I grab his head and bring his lips to mine. I moan at how delicious he tastes. He takes a firm hold of my hips. Soon he takes over the kiss and I rub myself against him. I pull back and lift his shirt, shucking it off him. He takes my mouth again and I move my hands down to his belt. I undo it, unbutton his pants, and slide my hand in to cup him. He’s hard and it’s all for me. He lets me go and helps me get the rest of his clothes off.
Holy freakin’ crap!
His body is a work of art. His panther tattoo looks wicked and dangerous—“the ghost of the rainforest,” I’ve heard panthers are called because they are so rare and elusive. And just like the man, it stares back at me, claiming me. I love how it makes me feel, and I love Zane. He’s all mine.
I push him back onto the bed and I look at his cock. It’s beautiful—long, thick, and hard. Very hard. I look at him and smile. I lick my lips and tell him, “It’s my turn now.”
I move my lips up and down one thigh and then the other. I go over and around his cock, feeling him move. He’s anxious for me to take him into my mouth, but I want to make him lose control just like he makes me. I torture him for a while longer, kissing, licking, and nipping everywhere but where he really wants me to. Finally, he begs me and I take him into my mouth. I swirl my tongue and suck him, like I do a lollypop.
Just as I’m really enjoying myself, thinking I’m going to make myself come by blowing him, he jerks me away, turns us, and pounces on me.
“No fair, honey,” I say with a pout. “Tonight is my turn …”
“Faith, when I come, I’m gonna come inside of you. I want to feel your pussy stroke my juices out of me and leave me dry. I want to feel you surrounding me, love.”
He tears off my lingerie and begins to stroke my body, knowing how to make me fall apart with pleasure. He takes me higher than ever before. My legs are wrapped around him and my heels are digging into his back. It’s freaking hot and I love it. When we explode, I’m so exhausted that I fall asleep immediately.
My last conscious thought is Zane taking off my heels, kissing my lips, and whispering.
“I love you, Faith.”
Hours later, I hear a phone ringing.
Ugh!
Thinking it’s mine, I lift my hand to my nightstand.
It’s not. Mine is dead—great.
It’s Zane’s.
I try to wake him but the man is dead to the world. Work has been exhausting lately and he hasn’t been getting enough sleep.
Well, crap. I’m actually going to have to get up. This stinks big time.
I wriggle out of his hold, find his pants and search his pockets until I find his phone. I take the phone out to check and make sure it’s not the station. I notice something fall out, and then I see a strange number on the screen. Missed call.
It’s midnight—strange.
I use the light from his phone to pick up what fell out of his pants and notice a patch. Not just any patch—an Army patch. I’m about to put it back when I notice that a set of dog tags is attached to the patch. I think nothing of it at first until I take a closer look at the patch, and then I look at the tags.
WTF?!
DUVAL
JACOB H.
638–18–9821
AB POS
ROM CATH
These are Jake’s tags!
“Zane! Zane, wake up,” I yell.
He immediately wakes and looks around, searching for the unknown threat.
“Turn on the light,” I say harshly.
He does as I ask and looks at me, confused.
“What the fuck is this?” I ask with deadly calm, holding the dog tags up in the air. At first he’s baffled by my attitude and language, but then he sees the tags in my hand.
“Faith, I can explain—” he says, but I don’t let him finish.
“Really? How could you possibly explain why you have Jake�
��s dog tags? Is this some sick joke?”
My voice is calm and emotionless. I feel like a knife is going through my body. I feel betrayed. I don’t understand what’s going on. Was everything a lie? By why … how?
“Those are mine,” he tells me. “Jake gave me those tags.”
“No!” I finally yell, losing the calmness I felt before. How dare he lie to me? “He couldn’t have given you anything, Zane. HE’S DEAD. Jake is dead and he’s never comin’ back!” My eyes fill with angry tears. “He’s never gonna see our daughter grow up and marry or our grandchildren born. We’re never gonna grow old together like we planned. Because he’s gone forever. He’s dead, Zane.”
“Faith, let me explain before you go off your rocker.”
“Excuse me? Are. You. Fuckin.’ Serious?! Don’t tell me to calm down because I‘m calm—I’m just fuckin’ pissed right now. And I have every right to be because I’m not the one that has Jake’s tags in my pocket. Even if I did, it wouldn’t be strange because he was MY husband.”
At this point, I don’t care if I sound irrational. Jake’s tags were in Zane’s pockets. Zane never mentioned meeting Jake before, and he had plenty of opportunities to inform me if they had met. He lied to me. Why would he keep it to himself?
“Calm down, Faith, and let me explain,” he says, but he’s interrupted by his phone ringing again.
“It’s that strange number that was callin’ you before, and after you answer, I want you out of here,” I say angrily, handing him the phone. “I need time to think.”
He answers the phone.
“Yes, this is her household. This is Zane Knight … No, I’m not. Is she okay? … What hospital? Okay—we’re on our way,” he says and hangs up.
“Get dressed. Now. Hospital. It’s Rylee. They won’t tell me anything because I’m not her next of kin. Let’s get movin’—the sooner we get there, the sooner we find out what’s going on.”
