The Secret Affair

by Brenda Jackson

  “You’re right. A true gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell. But I don’t like the thought of you cheapening what happened yesterday, either.”

  She placed her hands on her hips and leaned in, glaring at him. “How is it cheapening it when the whole thing meant nothing to you anyway?”

  * * *

  Jillian’s question stunned Aidan. For a moment he couldn’t say anything. She had definitely asked a good question, and it was one he wasn’t sure he could answer. The only response he could come up with was that the kisses should not have meant anything to him, but they had. Hell, he had spent the past twenty-four hours thinking about nothing else. And hadn’t he changed his plans so that he could stay another day just to spend more time with her?

  She was standing there, glaring at him, with her arms crossed over her chest in a way that placed emphasis on a nice pair of breasts. Full and perfectly shaped. He could just imagine running his hands over them, teasing the nipples before drawing them in his mouth to...

  “Well?”

  She wanted an explanation and all he wanted to do was erase the distance separating them, take her into his arms and kiss that glare right off her face. Unfortunately, he knew he wouldn’t stop there. Whether she knew it or not, Jillian Novak’s taste only made him want more.

  “Let’s ride,” he said, moving toward his horse. Otherwise, he would be tempted to do something he might later regret.

  “Ride?” she hissed. “Is that all you’ve got to say?”

  He glanced back over at her as he mounted his horse. “For now.”

  “None of this makes any sense, Aidan,” she said, mounting her own horse.

  She was right about that, he thought. None of it made any sense. Why was she like a magnet pulling him in? And why was he letting her?

  They had ridden a few moments side by side in total silence when she finally broke it by asking, “Where are we going?”

  “Bane’s Ponderosa.”

  She nodded. “Has he built anything on it?”

  “No, because legally it’s not his yet. He can’t claim it until he’s twenty-five.”

  “Like Bailey. She told me about the age requirement.”

  “Yes, like Bailey.”

  He wished they could go back to not talking. He needed the silence to figure out what in the hell was happening to him. She must have deciphered that he was not in a talkative mood because she went silent again.

  Aidan glanced over at her, admiring how well she handled a horse. He couldn’t help admiring other things, as well. Such as how she looked today in her jeans and western shirt, and how the breasts he had fantasized about earlier moved erotically in rhythm with the horse’s prance.

  “There is a building here,” Jillian said, bringing her horse to a stop.

  He forced his eyes off her breasts to follow her gaze to the wooden cabin. He brought his horse to a stop, as well. “If you want to call it that, then yes. Bane built it a while back. It became his and Crystal’s secret lovers’ hideaway.”

  “Crystal?”

  “Yes. Crystal Newsome. Bane’s one and only.”

  Jillian nodded. “She’s the reason he had to leave and join the navy, right?”

  Aidan shrugged. “I guess you could say that, although I wouldn’t place the blame squarely on Crystal’s shoulders. Bane was as much into Crystal as Crystal was into Bane. They were both sticks of dynamite waiting to explode.”

  “Where is she now?”

  “Don’t know. I’m not sure if Bane even knows. He never says and I prefer not to ask,” Aidan said, getting off his horse and tying it to the rail in front of the cabin.

  He moved to assist her from her horse and braced himself for the onslaught of emotions he knew he would feel when he did so.

  “You don’t have to help me down, Aidan. I can manage.”

  “I’m sure you can but I’m offering my assistance anyway,” he said, reaching his arms up to her.

  For a minute he thought she would refuse his offer, but then she slid into his embrace. And as expected the moment they touched, fire shot through him. He actually felt his erection throb. He didn’t say anything as he stared into her face. How could she arouse him to this degree?

  “You can let go of me now, Aidan.”

  He blinked, realizing her feet were on the ground yet his arms were still around her waist. He tried to drop his arms but couldn’t. It was as if they had a mind of their own.

  Then, in a surprise move, she reached up and placed her arms around his neck. “This is crazy,” she whispered in a quiet tone. “I shouldn’t want this but I’m not thinking straight.”

  He shouldn’t want it, either, but at that moment nothing could stop him. “We’re leaving tomorrow. When we get back to our respective territories we can think straight then.”

  “What about right now?” she asked, staring deep into his gaze.

  “Right now all I want to do is taste you again, Jillian. So damn bad.”

  She lifted her chin. “Then do it.”

  He doubted she knew what she was saying because her lips weren’t the only thing he wanted to taste. He lowered his mouth to hers, thinking that she would find that out soon enough.

  * * *

  At that particular moment, Jillian couldn’t deny herself the enjoyment of this kiss even if her life had depended on it.

  She was getting what she wanted in full force—Aidan Westmoreland–style.

  She stood with her arms wrapped around his neck and their lips locked, mesmerized, totally captivated, completely enthralled. How his tongue worked around in her mouth was truly remarkable. Every bone, every pore and every nerve ending responded to the way she was being thoroughly kissed. When had she become capable of such an intense yearning like this, where every lick and suck of Aidan’s tongue could send electrical waves through her?

  “Let’s go inside,” he whispered, pulling back from the kiss while tonguing her lips.

  “Inside?” She could barely get the question past the feeling of burning from the inside out.

  “Yes. We don’t need to be out here in the open.”

  No they didn’t. She had gotten so caught up in his kiss that she’d forgotten where they were. But instead of saying they shouldn’t even be kissing, in the open or behind closed doors, she didn’t resist him when he took her hand and tugged her toward the cabin.

  Once the door closed behind them she looked around and was surprised at how tidy the place was. Definitely not what she’d expected. It was a one-room cabin with an iron bed. The colorful bedspread matched the curtains and coordinated with the huge area rug.

  She turned to Aidan. “This is nice. Who keeps this place up?”

  “Gemma promised Bane that she would and of course she had to put her signature on it. Now that she’s getting married and moving to Australia, Bailey will take over. This place is important to Bane. He spends time here whenever he comes home.”

  Jillian nodded. “How’s he doing?”

  Aidan shrugged. “Okay now. It was hard for him to buckle down and follow authority, but he has no other choice if he wants to be a SEAL.”

  She’d heard that was Bane Westmoreland’s goal. “So no one usually comes out this way?” She needed to know. There would be no turning back after today and she needed to make sure they didn’t get caught.

  “Rarely, although Ramsey uses this land on occasion for his sheep. But you don’t have to worry about anyone showing up if that’s what you’re worried about.”

  She turned to face him. “I don’t know why I’m doing this.”

  He touched her chin and tilted her head back to meet his gaze. “Do you want me to tell you?”

  “Think you got it all figured out?”

  He nodded. “Yes, I think I do.”

  “Okay then, let’s hear it,” she said, backing up to sit on the edge of the bed.

  He moved to sit down on a nearby stool. “We’re attracted to each other.”

  She chuckled slightly. “Tell me some
thing I don’t know, Aidan.”

  “What if I say that we’ve sort of gotten obsessed with each other?”

  She frowned. “Obsessed is too strong a word, I think. We’ve only kissed twice.”

  “Actually three times. And I’m dying for the fourth. Aren’t you?”

  She knew she had to be honest with him and stop denying the obvious. “Yes, but I don’t understand why.”

  He got up from the stool and stood. “Maybe it’s not for us to understand, Jillian.”

  “How can you say that? How do you think our family would react if they knew we were carrying on like this behind their backs?”

  He slowly crossed the room to stand in front of where she sat. “We won’t know how they’d react because you’re determined to keep this a secret, aren’t you?”

  She tilted her head to look up at him. “Yes. I couldn’t hurt Pam that way. She expects me to stay focused on school. And if I did get involved with a guy, I’m sure she wouldn’t want that guy to be you.”

  He frowned. “And what is so bad about getting involved with me?”

  “I think you know the answer to that. She thinks of us as one big family. And there’s your reputation. But, like you said, we’ll be leaving tomorrow and going our separate ways. What’s happening between us is curiosity taking its toll on our common sense.”

  “That’s what you think?” he asked, reaching out and taking a lock of her hair between his fingers.

  “Yes, that’s what I think.” She noticed something in the depths of his eyes that gave her pause—but only for a second. That’s all the time it took for her gaze to lower from his eyes to his mouth.

  She watched as he swept the tip of his tongue across his lips. “I can still taste you, you know,” he said in a low, husky tone.

  She nodded slowly. “Yes, I know.” Deciding to be honest, she said, “And the reason I know is because I can still taste you, as well.”

  Six

  Aidan wished Jillian hadn’t said that. After their first kiss, he’d concluded she had enjoyed it as much as he had. When they’d gone another round he’d been sure of it. Just like he was sure that, although her experience with kissing had been at a minimum, she was a fast learner. She had kept up with him, stroke for stroke. And now, for her to confess that she could still taste him, the same way he could still taste her, sent his testosterone level soaring.

  He took a step closer, gently pulled her to her feet and wrapped his arms around her waist. He truly didn’t understand why the desire between them was so intense but he accepted that it was. The thought of Dillon and Pam’s ire didn’t appeal to him any more than it did to her, but unlike her, he refused to believe his cousin and cousin-in-law would be dead set against something developing between him and Jillian.

  But he didn’t have to worry because nothing was developing between them. They were attracted to each other; there was nothing serious about that. He’d been attracted to women before, although never to this degree, he would admit. But after today it would be a while before they saw each other again since he rarely came home. This would be a one-and-done fling. He knew for certain that Pam and Dillon would definitely not like the thought of that. They would think he’d taken advantage of her. So he agreed they did not need to know.

  “I won’t sleep with you, Aidan.”

  Her words interrupted his thoughts. He met her gaze. “You won’t?”

  “No. I think we should get that straight right now.”

  He nodded slowly. “All right. So what did you have in mind for us to do in here?” To say he was anxious to hear her answer was an understatement.

  “Kiss some more. A lot more.”

  Evidently she didn’t think an intense kissing match could lead to other things, with a loss of control topping the list. “You think it will be that simple?”

  She shrugged. “No. But I figure if we both use a reasonable degree of self-control we’ll manage.”

  A reasonable degree of self control? Jillian had more confidence in their abilities than he did. Just being here with her was causing a hard pounding in his crotch. If only she knew just how enticing she looked standing in front of him in a pair of jeans and a white button-up blouse that he would love to peel off her. Her hair was pinned up on her head, but a few locks...like the one he’d played with earlier...had escaped confinement.

  “Is there a problem, Aidan?”

  He lifted a brow. “Problem?”

  “Yes. You’re stalling and I’m ready now.”

  He fought to hide his grin. Was this the same woman who only yesterday swore they would never kiss again? The same woman who just that morning had refused to go riding with him? Her enthusiasm caused something within him to stir, making it hard to keep his control in check. His body wouldn’t cooperate mainly because her scent alone was increasing his desire for her.

  And she thought all they would do was some heavy-duty kissing?

  Deciding not to keep her waiting any longer, he slanted his mouth over hers.

  * * *

  When had she needed a man’s kiss this much? No, this much, she thought, leaning up on her toes to become enmeshed in Aidan’s kiss even more. Jillian felt his arms move from around her waist to her backside, urging her closer to the fit of him, making her feel his hard erection pressing against her middle. She shouldn’t like how it felt but she did.

  The tips of her nipples seemed sensitized against his solid chest. When had she become this hot mass of sexual desire?

  When he intensified the kiss even more, she actually heard herself moan. Really moan. He was actually tasting her. Using his mouth to absorb hers as if she was a delectable treat he had to consume. She was losing all that control she’d told him they had to keep and she was losing it in a way she couldn’t define.

  When he groaned deep in his throat and deepened the kiss even more, it took all she had to remain standing and not melt in a puddle on the floor. Why at twenty-one was she just experiencing kisses like these? And why was she allowing her mind to be sacked with emotions and sensations that made it almost impossible to breathe, to think, to do anything but reciprocate? Their tongues tangled greedily, dueling and plowing each other’s mouths with a yearning that was unrelenting.

  When she noticed his hands were no longer on her backside but had worked their way to the zipper of her jeans, she gasped and broke off the kiss, only to be swept off her feet into Aidan’s strong arms.

  Before she could ask what he was doing, he tumbled them both onto the huge bed. She looked up into his dark eyes as he moved his body over hers. Any words she’d wanted to say died in her throat. All she could do was stare at him as intense heat simmered through her veins. He leaned back on his haunches and then in one quick movement, grasped her hips and peeled the jeans down to her knees.

  “What—what are you doing?” she managed to ask, while liquid fire sizzled down her spine. She was lying there with only bikini panties covering her.

  He met her gaze. “I’m filling my entire mouth with the taste of you.” And then he eased her panties down her legs before lifting her hips and lowering his head between her thighs.

  The touch of his tongue had her moaning and lifting her hips off the bed. He was relentless, and he used his mouth in a way that should be outlawed. She wanted to push his head away, but instead she used her arms to hold him in place.

  And then she felt a series of intense spasms spread through her entire body. Suddenly, he did something wicked with his tongue, driving her wild. She screamed as a flood of sensations claimed her, tossing her into an earth-shaking orgasm. Her very first. It was more powerful than anything she could have imagined.

  And he continued to lap her up, not letting go. His actions filled her with more emotions, more wanting, more longing. Her senses were tossed to smithereens. It took a while before she had enough energy to breathe through her lungs to release a slow, steady breath. She wondered if she had enough energy to even mount her horse, much less ride away from here.
/>   Aidan lifted his head and slowly licked his lips, as if savoring her taste, while meeting her eyes. “Mmm, delicious.”

  His words were as erotic as she felt. “Why? Why did you do that?” she asked, barely able to get the words out. She felt exhausted, totally drained. Yet completely and utterly satisfied.

  Instead of giving her an answer, he touched her chin with the tip of his thumb before lowering his lips to hers in an open-mouth kiss that had fire stirring deep in her stomach. Tasting herself on his lips made her quiver.

  When he finally released her lips, he eased back on his haunches and gazed down at her. “I did it because you have a flavor that’s uniquely you and I wanted to sample it.”

  She lifted her hips off the bed when he pulled her jeans back up. Then he shifted his body to pull her into his lap. She tilted her head back to look at him. “What about when we leave here tomorrow?”

  “When we leave tomorrow we will remember this time with fondness and enjoyment. I’m sure when you wake up in your bed in Wyoming and I wake up in mine in Boston, we will be out of each other’s systems.”

  She nodded. “You think so?”

  “Yes, I’m pretty sure of it. And don’t feel guilty about anything because we haven’t hurt anyone. All we did was appease our curiosity in a very delectable way.”

  Yes, it had been most delectable. And technically, they hadn’t slept together so they hadn’t crossed any lines. She pulled away from him to finish fixing her clothing, tucking her shirt back into her jeans.

  “Um, a missed opportunity.”

  She glanced over at him. “What?”

  “Your breasts. I had planned to devour them.”

  At that moment, as if on cue, her breasts began to ache. Her nipples felt tight, sensitive, pulsing. And it didn’t help matters when an image of him doing that very thing trickled through her mind.

  “We need to go,” she said quickly, knowing if they remained any longer it would only lead to trouble.

  “Do we?”