by Alys Landale
Seven was at a loss for words. She didn’t know why she asked either. It was just something she wanted to know.
He took over for her. “You’re still having a hard time adapting to life on Voyager,” he said.
“Yes.” she said. “Although I have a greater understanding of this crew now than I did when I first arrived, I do not believe I hold a great enough knowledge of them to understand them thoroughly enough. I still have ‘emotions’ to which I do not understand. At times I wonder whether I shall ever come upon this knowledge.”
“Give it time,” he said. “Emotions are one of the hardest things to comprehend at times. Sometimes I don’t understand what I’m feeling either. It’s natural.”
She nodded. “I apologize if I inconvenienced you by questioning you.”
He put away the last of the instruments. “No problem Seven. Believe me, over the past year, I had a lot of help as well. I don’t know what I would have done without my crew.”
“You wish to return to your previous life?” she asked.
He was silent for a moment, but nodded.
“When I was first separated from the collective, it was my belief that I wished to return. However now that I have resided on
Voyager for this amount of time, I find that Voyager is my collective. Perhaps, in time, you will share my view.”
He shook his head and laughed. “It looks like you’re the one counseling me now.”
B’Elanna walked in. “So, we’ll begin building tomorrow.” she said.
Tom nodded. The only thing left to put away was the element they had been testing. “I’ll put this up, and then tomorrow we can begin.” He was starting to feel exhausted again.
*What is going on?* he wondered.
He picked up the element. They had let it replicate itself until they not only had the one container, but five others as well.
He took the original container and prepared to move it. Vertigo washed over him for a moment when he touched the container, then
it was followed by a searing pain running down his hand.
B’Elanna watched as Tom stood there paused. “Is something wrong?” she asked.
The feeling passed by as soon as it had come. He shook his head to clear it. “No nothing’s wrong.”
B’Elanna and Seven shared a look, but Tom appeared to be fine now.
Tom took the container and walked away. As he left, a strange sound began to run through his ears. He tried to put a finger on what it was. It seemed so familiar...
After a few moments, he realized what it sounded like. *Running water?* he thought.
Naomi walked through the forest. So far nothing looked out of place. Everything seemed to be like it was before. Then she saw a flash of blue to her side. She ran towards it and grabbed the creature from behind.
“I found you,” she said.
Flodder looked downcast. “Yeah, I guess you did. Now why don’t you hide and I’ll find you ‘twice’ as fast as you found me.”
“Not now.” she told him. “I still have to find Xara.”
She and Xara had been playing hide and seek for the past hour. Xara had found Naomi about ten minutes ago so now it was Naomi’s turn.
She heard some leaves rustle to her left. They had chosen the Flodder program to play in, because it had the most hiding places, but now it looked like that choice was going to help Naomi find her target.
She crept up behind the noise. A tuft of pink hair revealed itself from under a pile of leaves. Naomi was silent as she slowly made her way to her companion. When she was close enough she made her move.
“Found you!” she yelled and tagged Xara on the arm. Naomi tripped on a tree root, however, and fell on top of Xara.
The two of them started laughing uncontrollably.
“Nice move,” Xara said.
Naomi smiled. “Hey, I surprised you didn’t I.”
The two laughed some more until they were interrupted by Neelix’s voice over their comm-badges.
“I think it’s time to leave now,” he said. “The two of you have been playing almost all day. You two need to get your sleep.”
The girls sighed but conceded. “Okay Neelix.” Naomi said. “We’ll be out in just a second.”
Xara smiled and threw a pile of leaves at Naomi. After all, they did have a second left.
Tom entered his cabin a few minutes after he had left Engineering. His head was pounding by now.
*Maybe I should go to sickbay.* he thought. But first he decided to run a tricorder over himself to make sure this wasn’t just something trivial that he could fix himself... His only worry was that usually he could tell what was wrong with himself by not even using a tricorder. It was just natural for him.
The readings on the tricorder were not what he had expected. His blood pressure was extremely low and his metabolism had fallen to half of its usual output. He put down the tricorder.
*Looks like I’m going to have to go see the Doc.* he thought.
He really didn’t look forward to paying a visit to sickbay but it didn’t look like he had any other options.
Xara walked inside just then. “Rune, we had the best time today. Me and Naomi played with the Flodder program for the last hour. It was so much fun, we....”
Her voice trailed off as she looked at him. He looked like he hadn’t slept in a week. “Rune, are you alright.”
He smiled slightly, but it only made Xara worry even more. Tom began to walk towards the door. “Xara, do you think you can go stay with Naomi tonight?” he made his way to the door. “I’m going to...”
His voice trailed off as he stopped in his tracks. Xara was getting even more worried now. She’d never seen him like this.
Vertigo washed over Tom once again and he gripped the side of a table. He could hear voices now, but they made no sense at all. That was when the pain set in. His mind felt like it was being ripped apart at the seams. Images flashed in and out, but none made any sense.
Xara noticed the pained look on Tom’s face. She also saw his death grip on the table next to him. She ran over to his side.
“Rune, Rune! What’s wrong?!” Her brow was furrowed in worry as she looked up to his face. His eyes were clenched tightly shut in pain.
*What’s wrong?* she wondered.
Another wave of pain splashed against his mind. He brought a hand up to his head to keep it from exploding. It didn’t help any though and soon the pain was too unbearable. He was barely aware of Xara by his side as he fell to his knees.
Tears were in her eyes as she tugged at Tom’s sleeve. “Rune, say something! Please.” After getting no response from him, she yelled out. “Computer, Emergency Medical Beam to Sickbay, now!”
The blue glow of the transporter beam engulfed the pair and soon both were whisked away to sickbay.
B’Elanna was at the console in her cabin when anxiety hit her. She was overwhelmed by concern for Tom. It was like something was wrong. She tried to shake the worry away but it persisted.
*I suppose there’s no trouble in just seeing where he is* she said to herself.
“Computer, locate Ensign Paris.” She said.
A few moments passed by and then she was given an answer. “Ensign Paris is in sickbay.”
Her heart fell out of her chest. *What’s he doing there?* From his attitude since he had returned, he would never set foot in sickbay unless it was an emergency.
*I guess I’ll just have to go find out for myself.* She then left her quarters to go see what was going on. She tried to tell herself that he was fine. There were plenty of explanations as to why he had gone there. But still, worry clouded her thoughts as she quickened her pace to sickbay.
Doc looked up from his work as he saw the two people materialize in sickbay. He raced forward as he saw who it was.
“What’s going on?” he asked Xara as he began to run a tricorder over Paris.
She didn’t know what to say. “I came back to the cabin and he looked tired. The next thing I k
new he was about to pass out on the floor.” Her tone contained the fear in it.
Doc looked at the tricorder readings. A frown passed over his face, but he tried to cover it up while in the presence of Xara.
“Don’t worry,” he told her. “Tom’s in capable hands. Now why don’t you go stay with Naomi for a while. I need to run a few tests.”
Xara looked at Tom. He was unconscious now, but pain still played over his face. “I want to stay with him,” she said.
Doc didn’t have time to argue so he just said, “Alright, but first we need to get him onto a biobed.”
They began to move Paris off of the floor. Xara noticed that he was burning up with a fever. A few seconds later, he was on a biobed and Doc was beginning his tests. Xara slipped her hand into Tom’s. She just needed to hold onto him. He was the only thing she had left and she couldn’t lose him now.
B’Elanna entered sickbay only a few minutes after Paris had beamed there. Her fears were realized as she saw Tom on one of the biobeds. She ran over to the EMH.
“What happened?” she asked. She saw Xara looking up at Doc as well. The little girl was gripping one of Tom’s hands.
“I don’t have time to talk right now,” he told her. “Get Seven down here. I need her and Ensign Wildman here immediately.”
Seven reported to the bridge. Janeway was waiting to see how the tests had been going, but just before Seven was able to speak, her commbadge bleeped to life.
“Seven you’re needed in sickbay now.” B’Elanna said.
Janeway got out of her seat. “Lieutenant, what’s going on?” Chakotay and Seven were just as confused as Janeway.
The EMH’s voice sounded over the Comm line. “Seven I need your help down here now. You know more about Mr. Paris’s anatomy than I do.”
Janeway’s breath caught in her throat. Her first thought was *what’s wrong with Tom,* but Doc had already cut the comm line so she decided to just go down and see for herself.
“Tuvok you have the bridge. Commander, Seven, we’re going to sickbay.” Janeway ordered. The three of them set out for sickbay. Janeway’s thoughts drifted to a week ago when the same thing had happened. She just hoped this time; whatever was wrong wasn’t as bad as last time. But still, she had no way of knowing.
She quickened her pace. She needed to know what was going on now.
Doc finished going over the tricorder’s data when Janeway and the others walked in. B’Elanna noticed that the EMH’s frown increased as he shut the tricorder.
She turned her gaze down to Tom. His face was extremely pale and had a pained look on it. Torres as well as everyone else in the room wanted to know what was going on, but so far, Doc hadn’t said anything.
Janeway walked over to where Paris lay. He didn’t look good. “What’s wrong?” she demanded.
Xara looked at Doc as he spoke. She gripped Tom’s hand tighter as he began to speak.
The EMH sighed. He didn’t know how to say this. He turned to Xara first. “Xara why don’t you let us talk in private. I need to tell the captain something.”
The little girl refused. “I’m not going anywhere. I have a right to know what’s wrong too.”
No one knew what to say. She had a point. “Go on Doctor.” said Janeway. “She can stay.”
The EMH took another look at his patient. “His neural pathways are beginning to restructure themselves. It’s causing his other primary systems to begin shutting down. I’ve managed to stabilize him for now, but if I don’t find another way to permanently solve the problem...”
There was silence in the room as all those present silently filled in the blank for what he had said.
Finally Janeway spoke. “Doctor, do you have any idea what’s caused this?” she asked.
He paused for a moment. “About a year ago, the synapses in his cerebral cortex were flooded with some type of ionic sweep. I have been going over the medical logs of the Jihaid for the past week. It seems that this ‘procedure’ was administered to him while he was in Takma’s care. It’s the reason for his loss of memory but due to his new physiology the elements in his blood reacted with its potency. For the past year, these synapses have been trying to reconnect themselves but for some reason now, the speed has increased dangerously high within the past few days. It has slowed down for now, but it can peak back up again at any moment.”
“So what you’re saying is that this is happening because he’s beginning to remember?” B’Elanna asked.
Doc nodded. “To put it bluntly, that’s the reason. But these memories are coming back too fast. His body doesn’t have time to compensate for the energy flow produced by it.”
Xara’s eyes now rested on Tom. She squeezed his hand tighter as if to convey reassurance to him. “You can do something for him right?” she asked.
He looked down at her sadly. “I promise, we’re going to try. I just wish he would have come in earlier. If we would have caught this a few days ago, we might have been able to prevent it.”
B’Elanna suddenly felt responsible now. *I should have made him go down to sickbay yesterday.* She told herself. *If I would have just insisted...*
As if reading her thoughts Xara spoke again. She told the doctor. “He would have never come down here,” she said quietly.
“He never goes to sickbay, no matter what.”
Janeway knelt down beside her. “Why wouldn’t he have gone?”
Xara looked at the captain. She didn’t want to betray Rune by telling them his reasons, but she had already let it slip.
“Aria explained it to me once. She was there when he was in Takma’s lab,” she paused but then continued. “She told me that after Dr. Rosin had erased Rune’s memories, he started operating on him to enhance the Borg physiology in his body. Rune woke up during the procedure right when the doctor was cutting open his stomach. He never has trusted Doctors after that. I suppose Satira was an exception but not even she could get him to stay in sickbay. I guess it just brings back to many bad memories.”
B’Elanna felt her throat constrict as she listened to the little girl. She had no idea what Tom had been through..
Janeway was caught off guard as well. She took the little girl’s hand. “I promise that isn’t going to happen here. We’re going to do whatever it takes to make sure he’s alright.”
Xara looked at Tom and nodded. She trusted them. Tom did too. Now she just had to trust that the Fates would protect him through his time of trouble.
*
Tom felt himself being pulled in hundreds of different directions at once. Images of B’Elanna, Janeway, Takma, they all flowed through his mind. He tried to grab onto one but they were elusive. He tried to stretch his mind out to discover what was happening.
Everything began to take shape after a while. One form began to separate itself from all the others. It walked over to him and he recognized it immediately.
*Aria* he said.
She smiled. *Hello, Tom.*
He was caught off guard by her manner. She seemed to take what was happening in stride. And something else caught his attention as well.
*You called me Tom* he said. She had never called him anything but Rune or Captain Landis before.
She came over to him. *There is a lot you have to know.* she told him. *And one is your true past.*
*What’s going on* he asked her. *Where are we? You...died a week ago. How can we be together?*
She raised a hand to his face. She let her fingers trace down his cheek line. *There is so much I have to tell you, but I can’t right now. First you have to find out for yourself.* She paused for a while, then spoke again. *We’re on a different plane of existence than what you have been on. This is the mind’s plane, to put it simply, this where all thoughts gather.*
*That still doesn’t explain what we’re doing here.* he said. *Aria what’s going on?*
*I’m sorry. I can’t tell you anymore now. All I can say is this.* She paused for a moment. She struggled to tell him what she was tol
d to say. *You are going to be forced into a battle soon. It won’t be the first and it definitely won’t be the last, but this is going to be one of the toughest you’ve ever fought. You have to be strong and remember you have many allies who will be fighting right along side you.*
He ran a hand through her hair. It felt so different, like energy flowing through his fingers.
*Aria,*
She realized what he was saying. *Tom, you have to go now. I’ll be with you always, but it’s not me that you need.
There’s someone else who you love more than me. You always have.* She stepped away. *Go back now. You’re battle is near, but first you have to rest. You need to keep you’re strength.*
She began to drift away. *Wait!* he yelled. *Don’t leave.*
He could see her fading into the distance. Her voice however reached him even though it seemed like they were worlds apart.
*It’s not me who’s leaving* she said. It’s you.*
The people in sickbay had dwindled down to only two people. B’Elanna and Xara sat around Tom. The lieutenant looked at the little girl lying on the biobed. She had refused to leave sickbay so B’Elanna had consented to watch over her. She had fallen asleep almost two hours ago. Now Torres was the only one awake in the room. She sat in a chair next to Tom’s biobed.
She sighed. Doc was in his office working on a plan of action to help Paris. By his expression earlier, it looked like he held only minimum hope but the perseverance that he was working with was enough to fuel an entire fleet of starships.
She took Tom’s hand in hers. It was warm but lacked the fever to which he had earlier. She squeezed slightly as if for reassurance.
*Why does this have to happen?* she thought. *I just got you back. I’m not going to lose you now.*
Her Klingon side was fueled with rage at not being able to fight an adversary such as this one. But her human side was bent with worriment. The two sides of her waged war on one another.
“You’re going to get through this Tom Paris,” she told him. “I’m not going to lose you again.”
