by Alys Landale
“I... don’t plan... on going anywhere.”
B’Elanna’s eyes flew open as she heard the voice underneath her. “Tom,” she said. “Tom, how do you feel?”
He closed his eyes for a moment. After a while, he replied. “Tired.” He then opened his eyes again. “How long have I....” His voice then trailed off.
“You’ve been here for almost four hours,” she told him. His voice wasn’t at all reassuring to her. It was barely above a whisper, but it was enough to raise her hopes. She just thanked all the Spirits that were present that he was able to speak.
“I’m going to get the doctor okay. He’ll need to check on you.” She said. Tom nodded and closed his eyes again.
B’Elanna left her position next to Tom and walked over to the EMH’s office. “Doc, he’s awake,” she told him.
The doctor got up from his desk and was at his patient’s side before B’Elanna even had the chance to leave his office.
Tom looked up when he saw Doc come up beside him. The EMH passed a tricorder over Tom’s body. Tom was the first to break the silence.
“You should...consider yourself lucky,” he told him. “You managed to keep... me in here... twice in one week. That has to be some kind of record.”
Doc finished up examining his patient. “I don’t know if I’d call it luck,” said Doc. His tone then shifted to a more serious one. “How do you feel?”
Tom took a few minutes to respond. “Just tired mainly. My head feels like it’s about to explode, but not much else.”
Doc nodded. He ran the tricorder over Tom again.
“What’s the diagnosis?” Tom asked.
Doc hesitated as to whether or not he should tell him the truth. “Your bodily systems are beginning to shut down. I have to find a way to slow down your neural activity, and then your other systems should return to normal.”
Paris nodded. “Any other news.”
Doc smiled slightly. This was beginning to be the Tom Paris he knew. “Not much, just the same old thing.”
B’Elanna sat back down in her seat next to Paris.
Tom turned to her. “You don’t have to stay here for me. I’ll be fine.”
Her face turned to one of resolution. “I’m staying right here. Look what happened the last time you said you were fine.”
He smiled slightly. His voice was beginning to grow a bit stronger and he could make it through an entire sentence without having to pause.
He looked at the biobed next to him. “I see you aren’t the only one who protested on staying here.” At the mention of Xara, the little girl seemed to shift slightly in her sleep.
B’Elanna smiled as she looked at the girl. “I’m not the only one who has a stubborn streak to her.”
Doc saw where the conversation was heading. “I’ll just leave you two alone,” he told him. “I’ll be back to check on you later.”
The couple barely even noticed him leave. Tom was the first to speak. “Would you do something for me?”
She nodded. “Of course. Anything.”
He turned his view to Xara. “Would you take care of her while I’m here? You’re the only one I can trust.”
She was caught by surprise at the sincerity in his voice. It meant the world to her that he would trust her with something like that. “You can count on me,” she told him.
He nodded. “I know I can.” he said. His eyes began to grow heavier. At that moment, Xara stirred. She looked over at the other biobed. Her eyes popped open as she saw Tom was awake. She jumped off her bed and ran over to Paris.
“Rune, you’re up,” she said.
He smiled at her. “Yeah, it looks like I am.”
“Are you going to be able to leave sickbay now?’ she asked. She knew he had never stayed in sickbay if he was awake. That meant he had to be fine.
He sighed. “I’m sorry Squeaker, but I’m going to have to stay here a little longer.”
She looked at the floor. “But you’re going to be alright aren’t you?”
“We’re going to make sure he is.” B’Elanna told her. “But he has to stay here and rest for now.”
She looked to Tom for confirmation. “She’s right,” he told her. “Now you need to get to bed. These biobeds aren’t the most comfortable places to sleep.”
The look she gave him was full of apprehension and worry. “I don’t want to leave you.” she said and threw her arms around his neck.
He returned her hug. “I know Squeaker. I feel the same way.” He whispered into her ear. “But I need you to stay with B’Elanna for now. She’s going to take care of you while I’m here.”
She nodded reluctantly. “Okay.” Her face was downcast as she spoke.
He turned her chin up so he could look in her eyes. “Don’t worry. I’ll be out of here before you know it.”
She gave him one last hug and then retreated away.
B’Elanna gripped Tom’s hand once more before she left. She could already see that he was falling asleep again.
“I’ll take care of her,” she told him once again.
He nodded again. His eyes were already closed. “I never... had any... doubt...” his voice then trailed off as he entered sleep once more.
She placed his hand back on the biobed. His breathing was soothing for her. It reinforced the face that he was still here.
She smoothed back a piece of hair from his forehead. After taking another long look at him, she left sickbay with Xara.
Doc watched from his office as the woman and child left. Both seemed reluctant to leave but they did so anyway. The older woman took the little girl’s hand in hers and led her towards her cabin. Doc shook his head. He would have never guessed how naturally B’Elanna could assume a role such as this.
Xara walked with B’Elanna to her room. The two were both exhausted and each a little apprehensive about the other.
B’Elanna was worried about how she was going to take care of Xara. Xara was worried about staying with a someone new. For the past year, Tom had been the only one who had ever really taken care of her.
B’Elanna keyed in the access code to her cabin and led Xara in. The little girl hung just inside the doorway for awhile. She was still uncertain as to where to go.
“You can take my bed.” B’Elanna told her. “I’ll sleep on the couch tonight.”
Xara looked at the floor but didn’t move. After a few moments, she spoke. “He’ll be alright, won’t he?” Her voice was barely above a whisper as she said her words.
B’Elanna knelt down next to her. “I’m not going to let anything happen to him. We’ll make sure he’ll be fine.” Torres’s voice conveyed the conviction she held inside her. This was her mate by dammit and nothing was going to take him away from her.
Xara looked into the older woman’s eyes. She could see that B’Elanna was telling her the truth. She flung her arms around
Torres’s neck and buried her head in the half Klingon’s shoulder. Usually she would never do this to anyone but Rune, but she knew that B’Elanna was someone she could trust.
B’Elanna was at a loss for what to do. She slowly wrapped her arms around Xara’s small form as well.
“I’m scared.” Xara whispered.
Tears surfaced in B’Elanna’s dark eyes. “I know. I’m scared too.”
Janeway woke up early the next morning.
*It’s easy to wake up when you never go to sleep.* she told herself. Last night she had been to busy worrying over Tom to sleep. She had attacked this problem from every angle she knew of. Her night had been full of research. She must have gone over almost all of the Jihaid’s medical reports pertaining to Tom.
Chakotay knocked on the Captain’s door.
“Come,” Janeway said.
The Commander entered the room. Janeway didn’t even look up from the Padd she had been reading. He walked over to her desk.
“Captain,” he said. After she looked up, he continued. “I just brought these reports back from the Doctor.” He handed h
er a pair of Padds.
She took them and began to look over the data. The Commander noticed the circles under her eyes as she scanned the material.
*I’m not going to let her do this to herself again.* he said. He could just remember all that she had gone through over the past year. She blamed herself on what had happened to Tom, all the pain he had gone through. He wouldn’t let her sink into the depression she had a suffered from a year ago.
He walked around to face her. “Kathryn,” he said. “You didn’t get any sleep last night did you?”
She looked up at him for a second. Her mouth began to open in response but she quickly closed it. How could he understand? She didn’t even understand herself.
She averted her gaze back to the Padd in her hands. “My sleep or lack there of is immaterial. I had work to do.”
His brow furrowed with worry as he looked down at the woman in the chair. She could almost put up as good a mask as
Tom, but he prided himself on being one of the few people who could see through it.
He knelt down on one knee so that they were both at eye level. With a gentle hand, he lifted her chin so that their eyes would meet. She let her eyes wander into his. The compassion she saw reflected in them cut her to the core. Tears began to form in the corners of her eyes.
After a few moments, he spoke again. “You’ve got to stop blaming yourself Kathryn.” The way he said her name was so gentle. It was almost the way lovers talked to one another.
She let her eyes linger in his for a few more minutes. She then broke their gaze and pulled her chin out of his grasp. “I’ve got work to do Commander. If there isn’t anything else.”
“Kathryn, when are you going to stop this? What happened isn’t your fault. When will you realize that?” His voice now conveyed a strength to it that demanded an answer.
She kept her gaze on the desk but responded. This time her voice lacked the cold detachment it had previously. “I don’t know Chakotay. I just can’t help it. I brought him along on this trip and I’m the reason we lost him in the first place.” She paused for a moment as her throat felt like constricting. She took control of herself and continued. “Who else is there to blame anyway?”
He felt his own emotions bubbling to the surface. He was worried about Paris but right now Janeway was foremost in his thoughts. He wrapped two strong arms around her in an attempt to give her some of his own strength. She leaned into his chest and let out a sob.
*Some way for a Captain to act.* she thought.
After a few moments, he pulled her away. With a gentle hand, he wiped away her tears. “Sometimes, there is no one to blame. Things just happen.”
She was about to protest but he cut her off. His lips sought out hers and they lingered together. She was caught off guard by his kiss, but made no move to stop him. This was something she had been needing for a long time. He brought a hand up to her hair and ran it through her auburn locks. She savored the moment but for her it passed too quickly.
Reluctantly the two pulled apart. She looked into his dark eyes. They were filled with warmth and compassion.
He could see himself reflected in the her gray orbs. Her eyes flickered for a minute and he thought he saw a remnant of the usual light still present in them.
*Hopes not lost* he thought.
“We’re not going to let anything happen to Tom.” he told her. “I promise you, he’s going to be just fine.”
She smiled sadly. *Why does he have to be right all the time.* she thought to herself. But her soul knew the answer. He just was.
Doc paced around his office. He was no closer to an answer now than he had been last night. He walked out of his office to check on his patient.
Tom’s state alarmed him. He had given Paris a sedative but it still didn’t seem to help alleviate the fitful sleep Tom was now in. The man’s fever was beginning to come back as well.
Doc ran another scan on Paris. His brain waves were disconcerting as well. They were off the scales. He didn’t know exactly what could be considered normal in Tom’s case, but the readings were definitely not what could be considered healthy.
He put the tricorder back down and picked up an ever-present hypospray. The only thing he knew to do was up the dosage of Tom’s medication, otherwise the synapses would begin to overload in his brain.
“I just wish I could do more,” he said to himself. He administered the hypospray and watched as his cerebral activity began to drop into safer levels.
He shook his head. It seemed that Paris’s body was beginning to adapt to this medication already. If he didn’t find some other method then pretty soon hyposprays would be all but useless.
He sighed. “Back to work.” he told himself and went into his office to do further research.
B’Elanna woke up that morning later than usual. She was caught by surprise as she realized for a moment that she wasn’t in her sleeping quarters.
The reality hit her. *Xara’s got my bed for the night.* she thought. She didn’t want to resurface the reasons as to why the little girl was staying with her.
With all that had been going on, B’Elanna wondered how she had been able to sleep last night. Somehow, after she had put
Xara to bed, weariness just overwhelmed her and she fell asleep on the couch seconds after she had laid down.
She thought it was odd for a moment but quickly pushed aside the thought. Xara walked in the room a second later. She came towards B’Elanna tentatively.
“Hey,” Torres said. “Did you sleep alright?”
The little girl nodded and walked over to where B’Elanna sat. “Can we go see how Rune’s doing?” she asked.
Torres smiled sadly. She admired the relationship Tom had forged with this child. “That’s just what I had on my mind.” she told her. “Just give me a second to get dressed and we’ll leave.”
Tom felt his world constrict around him as he was pulled back to reality. The dreams he had suffered from last night had been unimaginable. He felt like all his energy had been drained out of him.
He thought back to what he had experienced. Aria hadn’t been present this time. All it that was there were images and emotions washing over him at once. They came so fast and hard that he never had a chance to distinguish anything out of them. For a time he thought that they would drag him down into the abyss from which he had come, but something had given him strength. It was like he held an anchor to this reality somewhere near him.
He blinked his eyes a few times to clear them. His vision was still swimming by the time the doctor came over to check on him.
“I see you’re awake,” he said. Doc held a smile on his face. The scans he had taken of him were beginning to look increasingly better. Maybe he was getting closer to a cure than he had thought.
Tom smiled weakly. All his energy seemed to be gone now. He just felt drained. “Halfway there.” he said.
Seven walked over to where the two were. “Doctor I have come to review the information you wished me to see.”
He stepped away from the biobed. “It’s in my office Seven. You can work from there.”
She nodded and proceeded to her work area.
Tom watched her leave. “I see you’ve already called in the reinforcements.”
Doc turned back to his patient. “She understands your physiology better than anyone else here. I need her expertise to find a cure.”
Paris’s eyes seemed to look inward. He knew that a ‘cure’ wasn’t going to be that simple. If he hoped to get through this, he had to do it himself, just like he always did.
Seven looked over the data she had in front of her. Paris’s anatomy was different than any Borg’s she had ever seen before. It was also slightly more advanced than One’s had been.
She studied the readouts. It seemed that something in his environment had caused a reaction to form in his system. It was almost like something on Voyager was poisoning him.
His nervous system had sustained the most damage so far. Someh
ow, it was being overloaded by what looked to be...a virus? Seven’s brow furrowed as she reviewed the information again. Yes, it looked similar to a computer virus. Almost like someone, or something, was trying to hack into his nervous system.
Seven looked over more of the information before her. If she hoped to get an answer maybe it was somewhere in here. She just had to dig hard enough and she was sure to find it.
Paris was asleep again by the time B’Elanna and Xara came to sickbay. Xara walked over to his bed while the older woman approached the doctor.
“Do you know what’s wrong with him yet?” She asked in a low voice.
Doc shook his head. “All I can tell is that something is causing his synapses to reform much more quickly than normal. I’ve gone over the information all night. So far, I can only administer a hypospray to try and slow down the damage. But at the rate his body is adapting to it...”
B’Elanna didn’t need to hear the rest. She knew what was going to happen. She clenched her fists in anger but managed to control her emotions.
Seven walked out of the doctor’s office a few minutes later. “Doctor I require your opinion.” she stated.
He and B’Elanna walked into the office. “Yes, Seven, what is it?” he said once he was inside.
She handed him a Padd. “I have reviewed this information and found a virus in his system. I believe it is the cause of his sickness.”
The doctor scanned over the information. “I can’t believe I missed this. It’s similar to the virus you were infected with that caused your personality changes. However, I hate to admit that it’s much more advanced.”
The ex-Borg nodded. “I would hypothesize that it has been in his system for an indefinite amount of time. It appears to have been in a period of dormancy before now.”
“Since you know what the virus is, you can cure it now, right?” B’Elanna asked.
Doc was still looking over the Padd. “I’ll get to work right now. Seven, if you’ll assist me, we have work to do.”
B’Elanna took that as her time to go. She left the doctor’s office just as Sam Wildman came in.
