Severance (The infernal Guard Book 3)

by SGD Singh

  Both of them raised their hands without turning, and Satish sang, “No one can say no to him. No one.”

  “Shit,” Zaiden said, switching to English. “I'm not a singer.”

  “But you have such a beautiful speaking voice!” Nidhan called from behind him, startling Zaiden.

  The giant Tvastar leaned against a palm tree, holding a garment bag over one massive shoulder, his other hand in his pocket. He looked like a model for some Sikh men's magazine. Zaiden shook his head and walked past Nidhan without a word. He was suddenly aware of his sweaty, disheveled clothes and hair.

  “Hey,” Nidhan called, falling into step next to him. “I brought your formal clothes for tonight. Ordered for you special by Lexi herself.”

  Zaiden stopped. “Really? She—”

  “Yep. She knew you guys didn't have anything, what with traveling between realms and all, so she took care of it. She put a lot of thought into it.” This time it was Zaiden who snorted in a Satya-like way.

  Nidhan lowered his sunglasses. “What? It's true.”

  “You told her to do it, didn't you?”

  “What? No!” But Nidhan grinned. “I would never! Trust me, Your Highness, I would rather see you stuck in that scruffy Japanese fusion thing tonight. I would look even more amazing in comparison.”

  Zaiden glared at him, willing himself not to smile and failing.

  “But alas, you will outshine us all, I'm afraid, including the groom.” Nidhan looked thoughtful. “Although, admittedly the groom's not hard to outshine, being extremely puny in size, plus all that messy hair and everything.”

  Zaiden snatched the garment bag from Nidhan. “Fine. But I am not singing.”

  “Silas says you are!” Nidhan called after him, his laughter filling the garden, and Zaiden was tempted to practice one of the rude hand gestures Ursala taught him.

  Zaiden refused to look inside the garment bag until he had showered and eaten something from the always-available pile of fruit, bread, and nuts laid out in his bungalow. He wondered if Lexi had sent some kind of ridiculous joke outfit, and then felt guilty for wondering such a thing.

  In the end, Zaiden ignored the clothes and fell asleep.

  The clothes, of course, were perfect, and Zaiden knew the moment Lexi saw him that night at the celebration that she thought the same thing. She turned away, of course, guilt and anger quickly replacing her initial reaction, but not before Zaiden felt her emotion like a kick to his heart. He tensed, hoping Dinesh and Satish wouldn't see his reaction.

  She sat near Asha, surrounded by her family of Infernal Guard members. She was beyond radiant in a simple blue silk dress that managed to look both regal and as if it could be worn in combat.

  Zaiden found it impossible not to stare at her.

  His sister entered the circle, wrapped in complex layers of bright green lace that perfectly matched her skin and feathers, and Zaiden tore his eyes away from Lexi to nod at Sashi, who found a seat next to Ariella.

  Zaiden considered the wide circle that had been dug into the beach, creating a sand bench that surrounded a sunken clearing, with a small fire at its center. Two cloth-covered chairs faced each other across the flames, presumably for the bride and groom. Everything looked too simple for Zaiden's idea of a Satya realm wedding, and his curiosity grew.

  Kai stepped toward them with a smile, guiding Zaiden, Satish, and Dinesh to sit with Silas on what was apparently Aquila's side of the circle, facing Asha. A second too late, Zaiden realized he was right across from Lexi.

  He forced himself to pay attention to the couple getting married. Aquila never took his eyes off Asha, who gazed steadily back at him with her eerily glowing eyes. She wore a white dress that fell to the ground in layered ruffles, golden thread and beads sparkling in the firelight along bodice and hem in flourishes of unmistakably Indian embroidery. Diamonds winked in a crown within Asha's dark hair, surrounded by red and orange roses, a blend of Colombia and Punjab.

  Nidhan sat next to Asha's grandfather, next to Lexi, looking the picture of brotherly pride in formal Sikh clothing.

  Everyone settled into their seats along the sand-bench, and silence fell on the crowd. Zaiden's gaze went inevitably to Lexi, and he stopped breathing as her eyes met his.

  Zaiden.

  Lexi. She was speaking to him.

  Are you singing for water?

  For… what? No, I'm not singing. Why does everyone keep saying I'm singing? He glanced at the ocean. And why would I sing for water? Is that a thing?

  Lexi was trying not to laugh, and she turned her attention to her hands in her lap. The gemstones in her hair twinkled.

  Forget it. I'm singing for water. And Silas said that… that you are too.

  Do you want me to sing? … for water?

  Lexi shrugged, turning to the Illusionist sitting next to her—Freya, Zaiden thought her name was—but he had felt, for a split second, her longing to hear him sing.

  I don't know what that means… Also, I don't sing. Just to be clear.

  Lexi raised one eyebrow and scowled at him, and Zaiden felt it was the most adorable thing he had ever seen.

  Satish sings. Not very well.

  Silas rose from his seat and Freya, and a third Illusionist, Hua Tseng, joined him near the fire. Asha and Aquila stood without taking their eyes from each other as they reverently approached the chairs at the center of the circle and sat, just as the sun set into the ocean.

  “What's happening?” Satish whispered.

  “The ceremony is starting,” Kai said, leaning in so Zaiden and Dinesh could also hear him. “The Illusionists will create elemental representations of each promise. Then the couple will prove their Eternity Marks have been completed by throwing their empty devices into the fire.” Kai brushed his long hair out of his eyes, and Zaiden noticed Satish flush as it swept along his cheek. “Then we party.”

  Dinesh frowned. “And that's it?”

  “Sure, that's it.” Kai frowned. “What were you expecting?”

  “More… spoken vows, I guess,” Dinesh shrugged. “Maybe a priest or something?”

  “Nope,” Kai said, settling back into his seat, and nodding at the fire. “Although, Hua Tseng has been gushing non-stop about Silas being the most powerful Illusionist in living memory, so this should be more impressive than most.” He winked. “The first element is Earth, representing duty and righteousness.”

  “Duty and righteousness?” Satish hissed. “That doesn't sound very romant—oh.”

  The fire had vanished, replaced by a thick carpet of grass that spread from the center of the circle to reach beneath their feet. Then a tree began to grow out of the center of the circle, twisting its branches in all directions, until it towered over the entire group, dwarfing the scene. As Zaiden gazed up in wonder, emerald leaves sprouted from every branch, followed by flowers and fruit so luscious that the group gasped in appreciation. The flowers bloomed in glittering detail and the fruit turned to sparkling gemstones.

  Next, gold seemed to fill the bark of the tree, creating shining metal veins along its surface, then flowing across the grass until it twined around their feet. Zaiden resisted the urge to reach down and touch it.

  Silas sat, beaming between Freya and Hua Tseng, who wrapped him in a crushing embrace, and Zaiden guessed the first part of the ceremony was complete.

  Asha and Aquila remained still and stoic in their seats, apparently understanding the significance of the illusion more than Zaiden did.

  “Next is Air,” Kai whispered, leaning across Satish again. “It signifies humility and oneness with all creation.”

  As Zaiden watched, the breathtaking tree began to turn gray and wither, its jeweled leaves falling toward now yellowing grass, and Zaiden found that he was sad at the sight of its death. Then, just as the leaves, fruit, and giant blooms almost touched the ground, time seemed to stop, freezing the scene in place. Even though Zaiden knew what happened next would involve some illusion of wind, he still gasped along with everyone e
lse as the scene exploded into a whirlwind of shattered light, reaching higher and higher, until the gathered assembly saw shining galaxies in the air above their heads, seemingly close enough to touch, but containing depth that made Zaiden dizzy at his insignificance within the infinite universe.

  He could no longer resist the desire to look at her, and his eyes went to Lexi. He felt his heart stutter as he watched his own awe reflected on her upturned face, her lips parted in wonder.

  Feeling his emotion, her gaze snapped to him, and Zaiden flinched at the anger in her eyes. But he also felt her own desire to keep her gaze on him spike as she turned back to the illusion.

  The galaxies changed to faceted jewels, just as quickly pulverized and turned to sparkling dust that swirled around the group, finally showering over them like gently falling snowflakes every color of the rainbow. The scene fell into complete darkness but for the occasional twinkle of blue and green lights.

  “Next is Water,” Kai's voice whispered in the darkness. “Symbolizing divine sound and gratitude.”

  Zaiden realized the turquoise and green lights were multiplying, flowing like water to collect around Lexi's dress.

  And then she stood, taking a few steps forward to stand near Silas and the other Illusionists.

  Singing for water.

  Music filled the night, and Lexi was singing, and Zaiden was sure his heart would break from the sheer beauty of the sound. As she sang, her voice purer than any angel's, the ocean itself seemed to rise to hear her, rushing forward to form a pool of glowing water within the circle. Zaiden could see creatures swimming in its depths, their iridescent scales shimmering as they splashed along with the song.

  He didn't understand more than two words of Lexi's Spanish lyrics, but that didn't matter. Zaiden had never imagined music could touch him this way, igniting his soul with gratitude that brought tears to his eyes. Blinking in embarrassment, he glanced around the crowd to see there wasn't a single person without tears on their faces.

  Between Asha and Aquila, an elaborate fountain of water began to dance to the music, glowing greens and blues that mirrored Asha's eyes as she laughed and cried at the same time, still never taking her eyes from Aquila's.

  Too soon, the song was over, and as the light faded from the water, Zaiden was surprised to hear a familiar tune from his realm taken up where the other left off as the glowing lights moved across the sand to find him in the gathering darkness like blue fireflies.

  “Dude,” Kai hissed. “This is the part where you sing.”

  Zaiden started to shake his head, but in that instant he felt Lexi relax her grip on her thoughts and emotions.

  The realization froze him to his seat.

  Lexi wanted to hear him sing. She had wanted it since the first time she'd heard him speak.

  He found her gaze across the circle, her tall figure fading as the lights went out along her gown.

  But Lexi, I don't sing.

  She smiled at him then, and Zaiden couldn't breathe, let alone sing.

  Sure you do. Silas said so.

  Zaiden stood, though he could barely feel his legs, and somehow made it to Silas and the others. The music swelled, and the dance of water began once more, this time in blues of every hue.

  Taking a few deep breaths, Zaiden told himself to just get the singing over with, and not make a scene at Asha's wedding by acting like an uncooperative asshole. He closed his eyes and told himself he was back home, in the shower, instead of standing in Satya, in front of at least fifty Infernal Guard members.

  After one more deep breath, Zaiden began to sing, focusing all his attention on not messing up as he recalled the lyrics of his kingdom's song in praise of nature's abundance. He knew only Satish, Dinesh, and Sashi understood the words, and he also knew they would recognize just what a mediocre singing voice he had.

  As the song ended, Zaiden became aware of an entirely new sensation that made him forget where he was for real.

  Lexi loved him. She loved him.

  He knew it with as much certainty as he knew day followed night. He opened his eyes to see her sitting in the shadows with her head bowed. Tears streamed down her face, and as he willed her to look at him, she shook her head once. Just as fast as he had felt her devotion, Zaiden felt her anguish.

  He found his seat again, somehow, reminding himself to never again attend another Infernal Guard wedding ceremony. His heart had been run through a shredder.

  “You all right?” Dinesh whispered in their own language, not caring who he offended.

  Zaiden nodded, running a trembling hand through his hair. “I'm fine.”

  “Now lastly, Fire,” Kai said. “Symbolizing bliss and eternity.” He elbowed Satish in the ribs. “That sound romantic enough for you?”

  Zaiden thought of eternal bliss, and he searched for Lexi in the light of growing flames. She still stared at her clasped hands. She couldn't have looked more the opposite of eternal bliss if she tried.

  Lexi.

  She shook her head almost imperceptibly.

  I'm sorry I ruined your best friend's wedding for you.

  Lexi smiled at her hands, but it was a smile filled with sadness. Zaiden, you could never ruin anything.

  The fire blazed into the sky all around them then, with lilies, orchids, and roses made of flame blooming on vines to hang like a giant umbrella of warmth over the crowd. Zaiden marveled at how an illusion could make him feel, as if the flames were real.

  Asha and Aquila finally rose from their chairs and stepped forward until they stood at the edge of the small fire that burned at the center of the circle. Zaiden felt the crowd take a collective breath as bride and groom each held a piece of silver over the flames. Their Eternity Mark devices. With their eyes still locked across the flames, they tipped their hands, letting the devices fall.

  The moment the metal touched the fire, the flames burned white, flaring high into the sky, and Zaiden gasped as every bloom on the vines pulsed like diamonds, every color of the rainbow, before breaking free to explode into the night like fireworks. The illusion slowly disappeared, and a shower of red and orange petals fell onto the crowd and rained down on the couple, who stood wrapped in each other's arms, their lips locked as if they would stay that way forever.

  Zaiden opened his hands, letting petals fall onto his palms, and realized they were actual rose petals, not illusions.

  Silas laughed in the center of a growing crowd of people who hugged and slapped his shoulders and back, ruffling his curly hair, and shouted at him in multiple languages.

  Zaiden looked for Lexi, but she had gone.

  He turned to join Dinesh, but Nidhan blocked his way.

  “Go,” he said, jerking his chin at the beach.

  “But—” Zaiden stammered.

  “Just find her.”

  “She didn't leave so I would chase after her.”

  Nidhan stepped forward, towering over Zaiden, and his expression was fierce. “I don't give a shit what you think she left for. You find her, and you try to fix this. Now.”

  Zaiden held his gaze, surprised by the Tvastar's anger.

  “Okay,” he said finally. “I'm going. Calm down, yaar.”

  Nidhan's face transformed to its usual bright smile, and he slapped Zaiden's shoulder once before turning to join the others around Silas.

  “Great,” Zaiden muttered as he turned from the crowd and moved through the shadowy trees lining the beach, resisting the urge to take to the skies. “I've turned into a groveling idiot with no self-respect—or survival instinct, for that matter.”

  Lexi wasn't far. Zaiden found her sitting motionless, leaning against a fallen palm tree and watching the ocean in the moonlight. He was reminded of how she looked in the healing rooms of Tapas, and he shivered.

  Zaiden lowered himself to the sand next to her and began watching the waves himself.

  Neither of them spoke for a minute and Zaiden wondered if Lexi noticed his presence at all.

  But then she hissed, m
aking him jump.

  “Do you believe in free will?” she asked.

  Before he could reply, Lexi continued. “I used to believe in free will,” she said. “I used to think the direction of our lives is determined by our actions, our decisions, ourselves, you know?”

  Zaiden didn't speak, knowing this time she didn't want him to answer.

  “I used to think I had some kind of control over my own destiny.” She sniffed, and Zaiden saw the tears spilling from her eyes even as her feeling of pain and frustration took his breath away. “What a giant load of fucking shit I was full of.”

  “No,” he snapped, the anger in his voice surprising himself. “It doesn't have to be like this. I refuse to believe we were meant to be miserable because of this… this connection, whatever you want to call it.”

  Lexi laughed, but there was no humor in the sound.

  “I will not be the cause of your pain,” Zaiden said. “I promise you this right here, right fucking now, starting from this moment until we die. I will never be the cause of one moment of pain in your life again.”

  Lexi finally glanced at him, smiling. “Right fucking now, eh?”

  “Yes, Lexi. Right fucking now.”

  She sniffed again, shaking her head at the ocean. “Silas said something like, love cannot be denied where it exists…”

  “Silas can bite me.”

  This time Lexi's laugh was genuine, even as more tears spilled from her eyes, glistening on her cheeks in the moonlight.

  They fell into silence again.

  “And you?” Lexi said softly. “What about your pain?”

  Zaiden shook his head. Yes. What about my pain? “I've told you before. Your pain is my pain anyway…”

  Lexi lowered her head for a long moment, then turned her attention back to the ocean.

  “Promise me you'll be happy, Lexi,” Zaiden said. “Promise me you will take control of your destiny and beat it into submission, like I know you can.”

  Lexi sniffed. Then she nodded, her voice barely a whisper. “Okay. I promise.”

  The silence stretched once more, and Zaiden lost track of whose heart was aching, whose every cell seemed to be crushed into billions of jagged edges, Lexi's or his own.