Lost In His Kiss (Love, Emerson Book 4)

by Isabel North

  Jenny lifted her cup to her lips and took a ladylike sip. “I’d hate to pry.”

  “You love to pry.”

  “Must be the pregnancy making me all serene and shit.”

  “Ugh. Like I’m not pissed enough at him already, Derek’s baby is making you nice.”

  “Aha! I knew you were pissed at Derek. Why?”

  Lila glared. “Why do you think? He stole my favorite toy.”

  “Aw. I’m your favorite toy?”

  Lila considered her vibrator, and what Burke had done to her with it. “Second favorite.” She took a swig of coffee.

  Jenny grinned. “Derek stole me months ago. You’re only noticing now?”

  “It’s taken a while to sink in.”

  “My life has expanded, Lila. It’s not the same size. There’s as much room for you as there ever was. There always will be.”

  Lila took another big gulp of coffee. “Hot,” she muttered, eyes watering. From the coffee. Nothing else. “And, you should know, I’m leaving.”

  “You’ve been here five minutes. Can’t you stay any longer?”

  “Emerson.”

  “Huh?”

  “I’m… I’m leaving Emerson.”

  “You’re going on vacation?”

  “No.”

  “A conference?”

  “A job.” Hopefully. She was meeting with one of Allison’s contacts in Seattle on Saturday.

  Jenny tapped the table between them. “I don’t know what you’re telling me. I know what it sounds like. But I also know it can’t be that. Because you wouldn’t do that.”

  “Jenny—”

  “No. No! You can’t leave me.” She sucked in a breath. “I don’t want my sister to see my vagina!” she wailed.

  Lila blinked. “I can understand that. I’m struggling to see the connection though—”

  “Don’t leave me. I’m pregnant. I don’t want my sister seeing my vagina when I give birth. I know she’s a nurse, but I don’t care, she’s my sister. There are things that should not be seen by family members.”

  “If it helps, I don’t much want to see—”

  “Tough. You saw it when I gave birth to Kate, and so help me you will see it when I give birth to this baby. No. You are not leaving. End of discussion.”

  “Because of your vagina.”

  “Yes! Don’t say it like that isn’t an amazing reason. It’s an amazing reason.”

  “What about Derek? I’m pretty sure he actually wants to see—”

  Jenny waved this off. “Derek? Are you kidding? He’ll faint.”

  “He won’t faint, don’t be dramatic.”

  “He’ll take one look and he will faint. I don’t care what anyone says about the beauty of birth, Lila.” She dropped her voice to a low and meaningful whisper. “You were there. I was there. We know the truth. It’s horrifying.”

  She wasn’t lying.

  Jenny continued, “You want me to horrify Derek with that?”

  “Kind of. Yes. A little bit. Yes, I do.” She smiled and took a deep breath. “But, Jenny? Derek will be there for you. For anything. Everything.” She rounded the table to crouch beside Jenny’s chair. “You don’t need me.”

  “I will always need you.”

  “No,” Lila corrected. “You don’t need me. You have Derek. You just want me.” She stretched up and kissed the top of Jenny’s head. “And who can blame you, right?”

  Jenny gave a watery chuckle.

  “Right. Because I’m awesome. And I am so awesome I will take sick days or vacation days or whatever, and I’ll be here when you’re due.”

  “You are awesome. I love you.”

  “I love you too, drama queen.”

  “I do, however, think you’re a moron.”

  “Good to see that the mood swings haven’t kicked in yet.” Lila returned to her seat.

  “Why would you want to leave? What about, you know.” She flapped a hand at Lila.

  Lila wrinkled her nose. “My blouse?”

  “Your neck.”

  “What about my neck?”

  “Beard-burn guy.”

  “Do you need a nap? You’re not making sense.”

  “Aren’t you starting something?”

  “With Bu— With beard-burn guy? Who doesn’t have a beard, by the way.” He had sexy scruff that felt amazing against her skin. Too amazing. Lila should have told him to ease up or shave, because while he was kissing her neck, he’d also been marking her. “I’m not starting anything with him. It was a one-time thing.”

  “Was it not good?”

  “Guy made me scream his name four times, and he left without even waking me up, forget about a goodbye kiss. Does that sound like a relationship with a future to you?” The end of her sentence came out in a high-pitched squeak as a tall figure filled the doorway.

  Derek raised his brows at her. “You okay, Lila?”

  Jenny twisted her upper body around to beam at Derek. “Hi, honey.”

  Lila let out her breath in a sharp gust, trying to force her pulse back to normal. “What is wrong with you?” she yelled at Derek. “What are you doing, creeping up on us? Why are you even here?”

  “I live here.”

  “You… You shouldn’t be here. I checked, goddammit, the driveway was empty!”

  “You checked I wasn’t here before you came in? Should I be offended?”

  Lila just glared at him.

  “Any coffee left?” he asked, eyeing her cup.

  Lila gestured at the coffeemaker in reply. Okay. Heart rate returning to normal.

  Derek said over his shoulder, “Burke, you want a coffee before we leave?”

  “Yeah.”

  Lila’s heart rate shot back up at Burke’s rumble. Derek came into the kitchen, Burke looming behind.

  She had to give him credit. Burke didn’t seem surprised to see her. Then again, he’d probably heard her. You know, complaining that he’d left without a goodbye.

  Lila met his eyes across the room. Beautiful dark hazel eyes that she’d last seen glinting down at her as he—

  “Lila?” Jenny leaned back from the table, startled. “What on earth is happening to your face?”

  Nice, Jenny. Now everyone was staring. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  She was blushing. If she was going to blush around Burke, you’d think she’d have done it last night when he turned her over and slipped his… oh god, thinking about it made her heated cheeks begin to throb.

  “Holy shit, Lila.” Derek paused en route to the coffeemaker to smile down at her. He rested the backs of his fingers on her cheek and made a sizzling noise.

  Lila glared. “What is this, high school?”

  “I’m just playing.” Derek tugged her hair.

  Lila smacked him, making him laugh.

  “This isn’t high school,” Jenny said. “You never blushed in high school. You’ve never blushed ever. I’ve never seen you this red. No. Wait. Take it back. The last time I saw you this red, you were ten and Jason Barnes hung you upside down from the monkey bars and everyone saw your panties.”

  “You’d be red in the face if you were hung upside down. It was gravity, Jenny. Blood flow. I wasn’t embarrassed. I was obeying the laws of nature.” She waited a beat. “Is it normal now?”

  “Yep.”

  Lila had managed not to look at Burke this whole time, and now she leveled a make-something-of-it-I-dare-you glare at him.

  Burke didn’t notice. His eyes were on her neck.

  Lila’s lips tightened. “You got something to say?”

  Burke’s gaze flicked up. “Morning, Lila.”

  “Morning, Cupcake.”

  He laughed. Lila grinned, then realized Jenny and Derek were staring at them. Scowling, Lila said to Burke, “Why are you here?”

  “Giving Derek a ride to work.” Burke leaned a shoulder against the doorjamb.

  “What’s wrong with Derek’s car?”

  “Derek’s car is in the shop,”
Derek said from the other side of the kitchen, pouring their coffee.

  Lila ignored him, saying to Burke, “Why can’t he use Jenny’s car?”

  “Jenny needs Jenny’s car,” Jenny said.

  The corner of Burke’s lips hitched and his chest expanded in a deep, slow breath.

  “Why can’t he call a cab?” Lila said to Burke, sounding desperate.

  Neither Jenny nor Derek offered an answer to this one. “Why can’t he call a friend?” Burke said.

  “No reason.” She was fixating. “I have to be going now.”

  “Don’t.” Jenny lunged over the table and grabbed Lila’s hands.

  “I have to work.” After a brief struggle, Lila extracted herself.

  “Stay for another coffee. Stay for another decade. Stay forever.”

  Derek carried Burke’s coffee over and came to stand beside Jenny. He set a hand on her shoulder, absently stroking his thumb over her collarbone.

  Jenny looked up at him. “Lila is leaving!”

  “Uh-huh.” Derek took a sip of his drink. “She does have to work. She’ll be back.”

  “She’s leaving Emerson.”

  Derek swallowed his next mouthful hard and his head whipped around to Lila. “You can’t.”

  Lila was watching Burke, who returned her gaze without blinking. “It’s happening,” she said.

  “No.” Derek sounded panicked.

  Lila switched her attention to him. “Not today.”

  “Are you going on vacation?”

  “Nope.”

  “A conference?” He nodded as if willing her to say yes. “Seminar, convention? Training camp?”

  “Yes, Derek. I am going to realtor training camp.”

  Derek started to smile in relief.

  “You are an idiot. There is no such thing as realtor training camp!” Lila said. “I’m leaving as in I’m moving to Seattle.”

  “But Jenny’s pregnant.”

  “Yes. She is. And I think her uterus has got things covered without requiring me to be in close proximity.”

  “For now, sure. But what about—” he sent a desperate look at Jenny, “—the birth.”

  Jenny held out her hand, palm up. You see?

  “Don’t worry, princess,” Lila said to Derek. “I’ve already promised I’ll be back here to catch the baby.”

  “But—”

  “What’s that? My phone’s ringing? Excuse me.” They all watched as Lila grabbed her silent phone from her tote, and lifted it to her ear. “Hi, Allison. What’s that? You need me right now? Real estate emergency? Be right there.” She stuffed the phone back in her tote, slung the tote over her shoulder, and got to her feet. “Sorry, guys. I’m out of time. Got to go.” She took a step toward the doorway, remembered Burke was blocking it, and changed direction.

  “I’ll walk you out,” Burke said.

  Heading for the back door, Lila said, “No need. Call me later. About viewing the property.” She turned the door handle, but the door didn’t open. She gripped the handle with both hands and tugged, rattling it. “Why is this locked?”

  Burke was close behind her, almost—but not quite—pressed against her back. He reached around her hip and turned the old-fashioned key, then stretched over her head to flip the lock, his forearm brushing the hair at her temple.

  Lila turned and plastered her back to the door. She peered around him and waved to Jenny. “See you later,” she said.

  Jenny’s wide eyes went from Lila to Burke.

  To Lila’s neck, to Burke.

  To Lila.

  Don’t even, Lila beamed into her brain.

  Burke? Jenny beamed back. Burke??

  Don’t you dare say a word.

  You’re telling me about this later.

  I will tell you when I’m good and ready.

  I’m so excited. Jenny bounced in her chair.

  Calm down.

  No. I want to hear all about it.

  When I’m ready.

  Fine. See you later. Love you.

  Love you, too. Bye.

  “That,” Derek said into the silent room, “was one of the creepiest things I’ve ever seen. No competition. I think I’m scared.”

  Burke gave Lila his coffee cup, opened the door, and nudged her out.

  Lila stalked along the garden path. Burke kept pace with her with an easy, loose-limbed stride.

  As they made it around the front, he caught her elbow, pulling her to a stop.

  “What!” she said.

  “My coffee.”

  “Oh.” She looked at it, shrugged and took a sip, then passed it to him. She licked her lips. “What? I said you could call me about the viewing later.”

  “Five.”

  Lila stood by her car. Watching her from the corner of his eye, Burke drained the coffee and set the cup on the car roof. He then bumped her back so she was leaning against the side panel, and rested one hand beside her head. The other dropped to her neck. He ran a gentle fingertip up the quivering tendon and smoothed it over the small area where his stubble had turned her skin pink.

  Lila made a noise.

  He raised a single brow.

  She arched her neck away. “Five?” she said.

  He had a hand either side of her now, and he smiled. “Five times you screamed my name. Not four.”

  He had heard her talking to Jenny, then. Great. “Really? I lost count.” Wait. That didn’t sound like the snippy dismissal she’d intended. It sounded as if he’d made her lose count, and her mind with it.

  “You’re angry at me for leaving,” he said.

  “I’m angry at you for sneaking out.”

  “There was no sneaking. I made plenty of noise. You sleep like the dead.”

  Lila poked him in the chest. “You should have woken me.”

  “I thought about it.”

  “But?”

  “But you looked so sweet and vulnerable.”

  Sweet? Vulnerable? Sweet? Lila snorted. “That’s me.”

  “That’s you,” Burke agreed.

  He was sincere. “Weirdo,” Lila said.

  “Mm-hmm.” He shifted an inch closer and studied her face. “Are you angry because I didn’t say goodbye—”

  “Yes.”

  “—or because I didn’t kiss you goodbye?”

  Lila lifted her chin. “Both. It’s good manners.”

  “Ah.” Burke’s long fingers curled around the back of her neck and he brushed a thumb over her chin, back and forth, then up to press her bottom lip. “Thing is, we both know I tend to forget my manners in bed.”

  Lila’s breathing came short. Did he ever. “We’re not in bed right now, and frankly your manners could do with some adjustment since you’re pawing me in Jenny’s driveway.”

  His eyes steady on hers, he opened his hand until no part of him was touching her.

  “Better?” he asked.

  “Tons.”

  “How about I make it up to you?”

  “How do you propose going about that?”

  “I could give you a goodbye kiss.”

  Lila pretended to think about it. She checked her watch and shook her head. “I don’t know. It’s probably not a good idea—”

  Burke lowered his head.

  Lila rose onto her toes. “But I suppose, if it will make you happy—”

  He slid both hands up her neck to cradle her face in his palms.

  “—then I might as well let you, for the sake of wrapping things up tidily.”

  He brushed his lips over hers, a ghost of a touch, soft and achingly gentle.

  Then he straightened, hands falling away.

  Lila dropped back to the ground. That was it? “Wow,” she said. “Knock my socks off, why don’t you?”

  “That was good morning.” Burke shot her a fierce grin, tangled his fingers into her hair and tugged her head back. “This is goodbye.” He captured her mouth with his and leaned his body into hers, hard, ensuring that she felt him everywhere.

  Lila th
rew her arms around his neck, mouth opening under his.

  He sucked her bottom lip, bit it, thrust his tongue inside and slid it against hers. He pulled back to adjust the angle and drove in again, slowing his demanding thrusts to lazy drags that made Lila prickle with goosebumps. Burke kissed her as if he had nothing else to do until the end of time other than drive Lila crazy.

  She sagged against the car, panting, when he lifted away.

  Burke continued to hold her, eyes on the mark he’d left. He seemed so fascinated, stroking it over and over with a half-smile, that she started to suspect he’d done it on purpose.

  Then he stepped back, taking his heat away, and the cool morning air rushed over her. For a moment, they stared at each other.

  “Goodbye,” Burke said, voice low.

  “Bye,” Lila whispered.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  It had been too much to hope, he supposed, that the first house Lila showed him would be the one.

  Despite knowing that, Burke had still hoped.

  Hoped that he’d be able to say, “I’ll take it,” sign some papers, move some money around, lock himself into a mortgage for the rest of his natural life, and stop being tortured with Lila’s cheerful, determined presence.

  Lila was exerting maximum effort to find him and David a home.

  Burke was exerting maximum effort to not throw her down and make her scream his name for a sixth time.

  The worst of it was, that he could do without any effort at all.

  He knew how to make her weak. He knew how to make her beg. He knew how to make her lose control beneath him.

  And he knew she didn’t want him to, despite the odd speculative look he’d caught from her on the two other occasions they’d seen each other since their goodbye kiss in Derek’s driveway. Lila had her reasons for proposing a one-night-friend-with-benefits stand. Burke had to respect it.

  Didn’t like it, though.

  Now it was Saturday. He’d left Emerson an hour ago and was driving to Seattle to pick up David. His son was excited about the big change in his life, from city to small town, private school to local high school, penthouse apartment with concierge to Kurt’s best guest room.

  David was vociferous enough in his excitement that Burke could tell there was some fear in there. David was bold, running for new experiences with the enthusiasm of the truly young, and yet he was smart enough to know that it wasn’t going to be plain sailing.