After

by Morris Gleitzman

  A third man, who must be Doctor Zajak, is bending over doing something to Gabriek’s head.

  Oh.

  There’s a hole in Gabriek’s head. Doctor Zajak is doing something in the hole with a long thin knife.

  I feel sick and panicky.

  Gabriek looks like he’s unconscious. I hope he is. But the two partisans are pressing down on his arms and legs like they think he could wake up at any moment.

  ‘Salt,’ snaps Doctor Zajak.

  I realise he’s talking to me.

  I look around the bunker for some salt.

  The bunker is small and bare, and I can’t see salt anywhere.

  ‘Salt’s finished,’ says one of the partisans.

  Doctor Zajak swears under his breath.

  He grabs a bottle of liquid and tips some on a rag he’s holding, which is already wet with blood. The liquid smells like the homemade vodka Gabriek likes to drink.

  Doctor Zajak wipes around the edges of the hole in Gabriek’s head with the rag.

  He throws the rag to me. Startled, I catch it.

  ‘Clean,’ he barks.

  I can’t see any clean rags in the bunker, or anywhere to wash this one.

  ‘Quick,’ shouts Doctor Zajak.

  I take my hat and coat off, and Yuli’s shirt. Underneath I’m wearing a wool vest and a cotton vest as well.

  ‘Wool or cotton?’ I say to Doctor Zajak.

  The two partisans scowl at me.

  ‘This isn’t a shop,’ one of them mutters.

  ‘Cotton,’ says Doctor Zajak without looking up.

  I take both vests off and hand Doctor Zajak the cotton one. He takes it silently.

  He tips vodka onto it and wipes around the edge of Gabriek’s wound again. I guess because surgeons are important and save people’s lives, they don’t ever have to say thank you.

  I can’t stop looking at Gabriek’s head and the blood. I wish I could stop looking, but I can’t.

  I pray to Richmal Crompton that Doctor Zajak can save Gabriek’s life.

  ‘Hot,’ snaps Doctor Zajak.

  He’s holding the long thin knife out to me. I think he wants me to heat it. In a candle flame, I guess.

  I take the knife and wrap the metal handle in my wool vest and hold the tip of the knife in one of the candle flames.

  When it starts to glow red I hand it back to Doctor Zajak, who doesn’t want the wool vest. His hands must be very tough.

  There’s a hissing sound. Doctor Zajak is touching something inside Gabriek’s head with the hot knife.

  I smell cooking meat and feel sick again.

  Gabriek starts to shudder and kick. His eyes are still closed, but he’s shuddering so violently the men are struggling to hold him on the table.

  ‘Tongue,’ barks Doctor Zajak. ‘Don’t let him bite his tongue.’

  I don’t know what to do. I’ve never stopped anyone biting their tongue before.

  Doctor Zajak grabs my hand, forces Gabriek’s mouth wide open and wedges my hand between Gabriek’s teeth.

  Ow.

  Gabriek is biting my hand. It hurts a lot, but I leave my hand there while Doctor Zajak does more things to Gabriek’s head. Gradually Gabriek’s shuddering stops. The biting doesn’t.

  To take my mind off the pain, and how cold my bare chest is, I concentrate on being helpful.

  ‘Is there anything else you need?’ I say to Doctor Zajak.

  ‘No,’ he says. ‘We’re finished.’

  ‘Now,’ says one of the other men, ‘we pray.’

  You know how when you’re lying in an underground bunker and partisans are asleep all around you and the smell is worse than anything you’ve ever smelled including your own private parts but you don’t care because next to you is a family member who’s just had his life saved by an operation except he doesn’t seem to be breathing very much and there’s a lot of blood on his bandages?

  That’s how it is for me and Gabriek.

  I want to wake him up and tell him to breathe more. But I’m not sure if I should. When you’ve just had something mended inside your head, you probably need as much sleep as you can get.

  ‘How is he?’

  Somebody kneels next to me in the gloom.

  It’s Yuli.

  She puts her gun down on the straw, takes off her headscarf and looks closely at Gabriek.

  ‘I’m worried,’ I whisper. ‘I don’t think Gabriek is breathing enough.’

  I’m whispering because I was warned that if I make a noise and wake the partisans, they’ll kill me. I think the person who said that wasn’t joking.

  ‘We just have to wait,’ says Yuli. ‘It’s out of our hands now.’

  ‘I know,’ I say. ‘It’s in Richmal Crompton’s hands.’

  I don’t think Yuli knows exactly who Richmal Crompton is.

  I explain to her.

  Yuli listens carefully, then tells me about some of the authors she used to read when she was growing up in Russia. They don’t sound as good as Richmal Crompton, but interesting.

  We talk about other things too.

  Yuli tells me how the Nazis kidnapped her and made her into a slave worker like Gabriek, but she never met him in Germany because the Nazis made millions of other people into slave workers too, so it was very crowded.

  She tells me the Nazis killed her parents and afterwards she changed her name to Yuli, which was her father’s name, so he wouldn’t be forgotten.

  I ask her why she didn’t choose her mother’s name instead.

  She doesn’t answer.

  The sadness on her face makes me think there are some things she wants to forget.

  I tell her the Nazis took my parents to a death camp and killed them too.

  We don’t say much after that.

  I wake up.

  The smell in the bunker is just as bad and the snoring from the partisans is just as loud, but one thing has changed.

  Gabriek’s eyes are open.

  Yuli is sitting next to him and they’re talking softly.

  I don’t say anything. I don’t want to interrupt them. I stay quietly lying down, watching them.

  They seem to like each other.

  That’s good. Maybe they’ll become friends. Maybe they’ll even fall in love. If they do, maybe they’ll let me stay with them.

  OK, my imagination’s getting carried away, but you can’t help imagining that sort of thing when you know you’ll never see your real parents again.

  I know it won’t happen.

  Gabriek still loves Genia, even though all he’s got left of her is her photo. And Yuli has probably got a boyfriend back in Russia. And one of the men in Doctor Zajak’s bunker told me that partisans aren’t allowed to get married. They get shot if they do.

  Which is a shame.

  Because if Gabriek and Yuli did want to be my new parents, I’d like that.

  I think Mum and Dad would too.

  a long sleep, I woke up and had a stretch and something didn’t feel right.

  I had another stretch.

  Still not right.

  No dirt under my fingernails.

  Then I remember where I am. With a jolt of alarm I roll over to see if Gabriek is alright.

  No Gabriek.

  Another partisan is asleep next to me on Gabriek’s patch of straw.

  I clamber over the man and crawl past other sleeping partisans to the door flap and stumble outside.

  It’s dark.

  And cold.

  I look around anxiously for Gabriek. Or Yuli or Mr Pavel or somebody who can tell me where he is.

  Over on the other side of the clearing I see what looks like a group of partisans standing with their heads bowed. I hurry towards them. The moon comes out and I see two of them are holding a stretcher with somebody lying on it.

  Gabriek.

  I try to call his name but all I can manage is a croak.

  What’s going on?

  Why isn’t Gabriek moving?

  Why are the othe
rs all just standing around?

  It’s like a funeral or something.

  ‘Get him out of here,’ says Mr Pavel’s voice.

  I can hardly breathe.

  And then, as I stumble frantically towards them, I hear Gabriek’s voice. It’s faint and wobbly, but it’s definitely his.

  ‘If that’s your final word,’ says Gabriek, ‘I’m not going.’

  ‘Gabriek,’ I say. ‘Are you alright?’

  He looks up at me from the stretcher. I can tell he’s weak and in pain. Something’s happened to him while I was asleep.

  ‘Don’t worry,’ Gabriek says. ‘You’re coming with me. I’m not leaving you here.’

  Leave me here?

  Why would he leave me here?

  ‘You’ll obey orders,’ growls Mr Pavel at Gabriek. ‘I’m under orders too. When a valuable technician is badly wounded, he goes to the main camp to recover. End of story.’

  ‘I’m going with him,’ I say.

  Mr Pavel doesn’t even look at me. He closes his eyes and breathes deeply.

  ‘You’re staying here,’ he says. ‘Zajak needs an assistant.’

  ‘No,’ I say. ‘I’m going with Gabriek.’

  Mr Pavel looks at me and even before he speaks I can see that nothing will change his mind. It’s probably why he’s the leader.

  ‘You’ll obey my orders,’ Mr Pavel says to me quietly. ‘Or I’ll shoot you.’

  Nobody else says anything, and I can see from their faces Mr Pavel doesn’t say something like that if he doesn’t mean it.

  Gabriek tries to sit up, but he can’t and he slumps back onto the stretcher with a groan.

  Suddenly I think of something that might change Mr Pavel’s mind.

  I turn and run.

  ‘Doctor Zajak,’ I say, struggling in through the hospital bunker door flap. ‘You’ve got to come and tell Mr Pavel that Gabriek doesn’t have to go. That you can cure him here.’

  There’s only one candle burning, but I can see Doctor Zajak lying on his table with his eyes closed.

  He swears under his breath and sits up.

  ‘Negative,’ he says. ‘I can’t cure him here.’

  ‘You can,’ I say. ‘You’re a really good doctor. You got that blood clot out of Gabriek’s head without dropping it or anything.’

  ‘Don’t show your ignorance,’ snaps Doctor Zajak, swinging his legs off the table.

  ‘You should have more confidence,’ I say wildly. ‘What makes the doctor at the main camp better than you?’

  Doctor Zajak’s shoulders slump and he reminds me of a nun I used to know who was always going on about what an unfair place the world is.

  ‘Penicillin,’ he says.

  I don’t know what that is, and I don’t want to show my ignorance, but I need to convince him it’s not important enough to send Gabriek away.

  ‘We can learn how to do penicillin,’ I say.

  ‘Penicillin is a very rare medicine,’ says Doctor Zajak crossly. ‘Even the Nazis don’t have it most of the time. The doctor at the main camp is Russian and he has a little. Your friend Borowski’s wound is infected. Without penicillin, he will die.’

  I don’t know what to say.

  Yes I do.

  ‘Tell them you don’t want me as your assistant,’ I say. ‘So I can go too.’

  ‘Negative,’ says Doctor Zajak. ‘I do want you as my assistant.’

  ‘Why?’ I shout, close to tears. ‘Why do you want me if I’ve got ignorance?’

  ‘Because you’ve also got something else,’ says Doctor Zajak. ‘Experience. Yes, only with a teeth-puller, but in the forest I take what I can get.’

  I stare at Doctor Zajak. I don’t know what to say. I wish I hadn’t mentioned Barney to Mr Pavel. I wish I’d kept my mouth shut.

  Doctor Zajak grabs one of my hands. The one he used to stop Gabriek biting his own tongue. He holds my fingers out next to his.

  ‘Also,’ he says, ‘you’ve got surgeon’s hands.’

  I glare at him. That’s stupid. Doctor Zajak’s fingers are long and slim and leathery. Mine are short and ordinary and soft. Plus surgeon’s hands don’t have bright red teeth marks on them.

  Yuli asks Mr Pavel to give me and Gabriek a few private moments to say goodbye.

  Mr Pavel agrees.

  They put Gabriek’s stretcher down in a patch of moonlight and move away.

  I try not to be upset. I don’t want Gabriek to worry about me. Not till his head has healed.

  Gabriek’s voice is almost a whisper.

  ‘Remember what we agreed?’ he says. ‘To do our best to stay alive. That’s why I have to go. It’ll be a waste if I stay here and die, after you put so much effort into saving me.’

  He looks so grateful I want to tell him to stop. He saved my life every day for two years and two months.

  ‘That’s why I want to come with you,’ I say. ‘To look after you.’

  ‘You’ll be safer here,’ says Gabriek. ‘At the main camp they’d send you into combat.’

  I’m about to say I wouldn’t mind, but Gabriek looks at me pleadingly.

  I’m shocked.

  I’ve never seen Gabriek look pleading before. It makes me think how stressful it must have been for him these last two years, worrying about my safety.

  Gabriek signals to somebody standing near us. It’s Yuli. She comes over. She’s holding Gabriek’s violin and photo frame.

  ‘Will you look after these for me, Felix?’ says Gabriek. ‘Just for a while.’

  I nod. I know this is Gabriek’s way of saying he’ll be back.

  ‘How long is a while?’ I say.

  ‘A month,’ says Gabriek. ‘Doctor Zajak says I should be fine in a month.’

  I think about this.

  ‘The main camp,’ I say. ‘Where is it?’

  I hope Gabriek knows this is my way of saying that no way am I staying here without him for a whole month and that I’ll be escaping with Dom as soon as I can and coming to the main camp.

  ‘It’s about six hours to the north,’ says Yuli.

  Good. Me and Dom can probably do it in five.

  ‘It’s very well hidden,’ says Yuli.

  I glance at her and get the feeling this is her way of saying don’t bother, you’ll never find it.

  Well, she’s wrong. I give my birthday compass a secret squeeze in my pocket.

  I notice something else.

  The photo frame Yuli’s holding is empty. The necklace and turnip knives are still around the edges, but Genia’s photo is gone. I hope we didn’t lose it on the way here.

  ‘Felix,’ Gabriek says. ‘I’m going to be fine. I want you to concentrate on looking after yourself. That means obeying orders.’

  I nod. I’m nodding to the bit about looking after myself, not the bit about obeying orders.

  Mr Pavel comes over and gives the order for Gabriek to be taken to the main camp. Two partisans pick up the stretcher. Four other partisans are travelling with them as guards.

  Me and Gabriek hug each other. There’s a crackling sound. I see Gabriek has got Genia’s photo inside his shirt.

  They start to go.

  ‘Thanks for the birthday present,’ I say to Gabriek.

  He raises himself on the stretcher and looks back at me over his shoulder.

  ‘Education,’ he says sternly.

  Then they’re gone.

  I feed Dom.

  The only straw around here is from the sleeping bunker and it smells horrible and probably tastes as bad.

  Dom doesn’t care. He hasn’t had much to eat for the last two days.

  He stands up and gobbles it.

  ‘I’m glad you like it,’ I whisper to him. ‘You’ve got to stay strong and healthy for when we leave. We might have to do a lot of running.’

  Dom doesn’t seem worried by that.

  I give him a hug. He saved my life every day for one year and nine months, ever since Gabriek bought him from a farmer who couldn’t afford to feed him.


  Gabriek is so clever. To stop the Nazis taking Dom, Gabriek told them he could grow them twice as many cabbages with a strong workhorse. They believed him. It was true, but Nazis don’t often believe the truth.

  ‘Beautiful horse.’

  I jump.

  Yuli has come up behind me. I hope she didn’t hear me whispering to Dom about leaving. She’s really nice, but she takes Mr Pavel’s orders very seriously.

  ‘We’re lucky to have you both,’ says Yuli. ‘I think you’ll both make good partisans.’

  I don’t say anything.

  ‘Try not to fret,’ she says. ‘A month will pass quickly. We’ll keep you busy.’

  I nod and try to smile.

  Yuli strokes Dom.

  ‘What I’m saying is don’t risk it,’ she says quietly. ‘We have guards all over this part of the forest. You wouldn’t get more than a few hundred metres.’

  Yuli is looking at Dom while she says this, but I’m pretty sure she’s speaking to me. She turns to me, and I can see she’s not being bossy, just concerned.

  ‘Gabriek will always know where to find you,’ she says.

  She points to the tree Dom is tethered to.

  ‘This tree’s hollow,’ she says. ‘I told Gabriek we’d leave him a note in there if we have to move camp.’

  I stare at her.

  ‘Move camp?’ I say.

  Yuli looks at me as if I’m showing my ignorance.

  ‘That’s why we spend half our lives doing guard duty,’ she says. ‘The moment the Nazis find out where we are, we move camp. If we’re lucky.’

  ‘Which is why,’ says another voice, ‘once you join our little gang, you don’t ever leave.’

  It’s the tall thin unfriendly partisan.

  ‘Szulk,’ says Yuli. ‘Do you mind? We’re having a private conversation.’

  Szulk smiles and shrugs. He doesn’t look like he really understands what a private conversation is.

  ‘I just wanted to encourage our apprentice surgeon to do the best work he can,’ says Szulk. ‘Because if Zajak doesn’t think he’s up to the job, and decides he doesn’t want him, we’ve got another security problem, haven’t we?’

  I don’t understand.

  ‘Leave it, Szulk,’ says Yuli.

  ‘I’m just encouraging him,’ says Szulk. ‘Jews respond well to encouragement. I’m explaining to him that if he gets fired, we can’t let him waltz out of here and into the arms of the Nazis. Not now he knows so much about us. I’m sure he understands. He seems quite intelligent for a Jew.’