Daughter of the Loom (Bells of Lowell Book #1)

by Tracie Peterson

  She jumped up and fell into his arms. “Oh, Matthew, he’s gone. Lewis is dead. He died before telling me if he had accepted Christ,” she said through her tears.

  Pulling her close, Matthew held her for several moments, then led her from the room. “There’s nothing more you can do here, Lilly. Let me take you home. Look, I’ve brought your wrap. Miss Addie thought you might need it.” Gently, he helped Lilly on with her cloak and directed her toward the door.

  Lilly turned around. “I should tell Dr. Barnard I’m leaving,” she murmured.

  “I talked with him when I came in. He knew I was going to escort you home.”

  The smoky air filled Lilly’s nostrils. “The fire, Matthew? Were you able to save the mill?”

  “We won’t be able to evaluate the actual damage until daylight, but the fire is out. Most of the damage was to the printworks. Mr. Boott and Farnsworth and I will assess the damages first thing in the morning,” Matthew explained. “It doesn’t appear we’ll be shut down for more than a week or so.”

  Lilly sighed. “I hope it won’t be too long. The girls can’t afford to pay their room and board when they’re not receiving wages.”

  “I’m certain the Corporation will make arrangements to protect the girls,” he said.

  The two of them walked in silence until they neared the boardinghouse. “Matthew, I believe Lewis has a son,” Lilly blurted.

  Matthew stopped and gave her a look of surprise. “What would give you such an outlandish idea?”

  “He mentioned a baby on his deathbed—a boy. I don’t think a man lies while on his deathbed, do you?”

  “No, I don’t suppose a man would have much reason to tell falsehoods on his deathbed, but what did he actually say?”

  Lilly gave him a thoughtful look. “He said the mother was dead. It’s a boy. I don’t know how old he is, but he has a birthmark, a mushroom-shaped birthmark on his arm,” she recounted.

  “Anything else?”

  “He said the child is in the Paddy camps. I assume the mother was Irish.”

  Matthew rubbed his jaw and gave her a thoughtful look. “I do recall several occasions when I saw Lewis around the Acre. I wondered why he was there. Perhaps he did have more reason to be there than I imagined, but he never mentioned anything to me. You should remember, however, that his words might have been the delirious ramblings of a dying man. Please promise me you’ll not worry any further. I plan to spend a good deal of time in the Acre over the next few days, and if I find any evidence of a child, I’ll tell you.”

  “Oh, Matthew, would you? Thank you so much,” Lilly replied, giving him a weary smile. “But why are you planning to spend time in the Acre?”

  “Didn’t you hear William Thurston say he had observed Lewis fighting with some Irishmen who were supposed to have started the fire? I need to investigate his allegations.”

  Lilly thoughtfully considered his reply. “I don’t think you’ll find anyone to substantiate Thurston’s claims. Lewis admitted he started the fire,” Lilly said, her voice barely audible.

  Matthew held her by the shoulders. “Lewis told you he started the fire?”

  “Yes. He said he set the fire at night so none of the workers would be injured. Somehow he felt it was the one noble thing he could do if he was going to set the fire,” she said, beginning to weep. “Oh, Matthew, I’m truly alone in the world now. My entire family is gone. Even though Lewis and I weren’t close, he was my brother. And just as he was beginning to turn his life around, he’s snatched away. When my father died, I didn’t think the void could be any greater. Now I know I was wrong. I have no one.”

  Matthew pulled her into his arms, and Lilly relished the comfort of his embrace. It felt so right to be with him. Perhaps he would speak words of reassurance, even love.

  “Everything’s going to be fine, Lilly.”

  Lilly looked into his eyes. She had once loved this man and had pushed him away in anger. Her own pain had made it impossible to continue their relationship. Now her pain made her desire that relationship more than anything.

  Matthew gently touched her cheek. “You needn’t feel alone. God is always with you, and besides that, you have Addie—and the girls here at the house are your friends. And you know how much my family cares for you.”

  Lilly felt a wave of disappointment. Stepping back, she wiped her eyes. “Thank you for helping me tonight. It was good of you to see me home from the doctor’s. Good night, Matthew.”

  She walked up the stairs, remembering Matthew’s words and wondering why he had failed to include himself among those who cared about her. When he had asked to escort her to the Blowing Out Ball, she was certain he had romantic feelings for her. Better still, she finally felt that she might be ready to accept her own feelings for Matthew, maybe even open her heart to him. Obviously she had once again misinterpreted his intentions.

  Chapter 34

  Matthew bounded up the front steps of his parents’ home, still wondering if he had done the right thing. He had wanted to declare his feelings for Lilly the night before, but it seemed inappropriate to avow his love when she was grieving her brother’s death and the loss of all familial bonds. Holding back was the hardest thing he’d ever endured—short of losing Lilly in the first place.

  Julia Cheever rounded the corner of the parlor as Matthew entered the front door. “What a wonderful surprise, Matthew. You’re just in time for breakfast,” she greeted, her hair perfectly coiffed and her pale green dress setting off the color in her eyes. She embraced her son, kissing him lightly on his cheek as he bent obediently to receive her greeting.

  “Do you miss living on the farm, Mother?” Matthew inquired as they walked to the dining room.

  She turned and gave him a puzzled look. “Why are you asking about the farm?”

  “I suppose because life seemed much more simple back then.”

  Julia patted his hand. “That’s because you were a child, Matthew. Life has complexities in varying degrees throughout the years; where you live is of little importance. It’s how you handle the difficulty that really counts. How we deal with life’s problems gives evidence to our love and compassion as well as our relationship with God. Don’t you think?” she asked. “Good morning, Randolph,” she said as her husband entered the room.

  Randolph pulled out a chair and seated himself at the table. “Good morning, my dear. Matthew, this is a pleasant surprise. To what do we owe this unexpected visit?”

  “We were just discussing the complexities of life,” Julia replied.

  Randolph gave her a hearty laugh. “That’s a rather profound subject for so early in the morning, isn’t it? Is that truly why you came over here this morning, son?”

  Matthew gave his father a grin as he helped himself to a piece of ham. “Not exactly. I came to tell you that Lewis Armbruster died last night—from the injuries he sustained in the fire at the Merrimack.”

  “Oh, Matthew, how sad. When your father returned home last night, he told me Lewis had been injured. I didn’t realize it was so serious.”

  Matthew nodded. “Lilly is distraught. With Lewis gone, she has no family. Added to that is the fact that Lilly wasn’t sure where Lewis stood before the Lord prior to his death. She’s feeling an overwhelming sense of loss.”

  “And well she would, Matthew. I can’t believe you took her back to that boardinghouse. Why didn’t you bring her here to be with family?” Julia chided.

  Matthew stared at his mother momentarily. “Because we are not Lilly’s family, Mother,” he said in a patronizing tone.

  “Exactly!” Julia replied, giving Matthew a stern look while pointing a serving ladle in his direction. “When are you going to set aside your foolish pride and make Lilly your wife?”

  “My foolish pride? It’s Lilly who’s filled with pride and won’t admit that she’s in love with me!”

  “Well, of course not. She did that once and what did it reap? You went off to school and came back filled with pride and arrogan
ce, telling her that life on a farm was a foolish dream. Then you prance about town with that uppity Boston socialite who’s related to Kirk Boott holding on to your arm. And you expect Lilly to declare her love to you while you sit back and wait? Such foolishness, Matthew!”

  Matthew looked toward his father, hoping for some assistance. It was obvious none would be forthcoming. Instead, while propping his chin in one hand, his father grinned and remained silent. Turning toward his mother, Matthew took a sip of coffee. “I wanted to tell Lilly of my feelings last night, but it didn’t seem the appropriate time. After all, Mother, she had just lost her brother.”

  Julia stirred a spoonful of sugar into her cup of tea. “You always find one excuse or another to wiggle out of tying the knot,” Julia scolded.

  “I don’t think a funeral would make a very romantic setting for a proposal,” Matthew countered. “And what about the proprieties? Why, proper society would surely be of the opinion that Lilly remain out of social settings for at least six months.”

  “Oh, bother with proper society,” Julia replied. “Sometimes love must overrule society.”

  Julia continued stirring and gave Matthew a stern look. “You know, Matthew, there are some distinct differences between men and women. Obviously, you don’t know how women think and what makes them happy. I, on the other hand, know that a bit of good fortune is exactly what Lilly needs. I’m sure she’s bereft. I can’t think of anything that would cheer her more than . . .” Julia hesitated and met Matthew’s gaze. “Did you say proposal?”

  Matthew nodded and continued eating his breakfast.

  “So you are going to ask Lilly to marry you?”

  Matthew gave her a winsome smile. “Yes, Mother, if she’ll have me.”

  Julia appeared to digest the affirmation before bounding from her chair and embracing Matthew.

  Matthew pulled back. “But I intend to give her time to think this through. I don’t want her to marry me simply because she’s feeling her loss over Lewis. I want her to marry me because she loves me.”

  “Of course she loves you, darling boy,” Julia said, hugging him close again. “Who wouldn’t love you?”

  ****

  Lilly wandered through the early June blanket of grass that covered the cemetery until she stood before the small granite stones that marked her parents’ graves. Only a few scattered blades of grass could be found on the freshly turned earth that marked Lewis’s final resting-place. Lilly picked up a clump of the dirt and sifted it through her fingers, watching the fine soil drop onto the grave. She would save enough money to purchase a proper marker for Lewis, she decided.

  Why had God taken him? she wondered. Hadn’t the death of her parents been enough without the loss of her only other relative? And Nadene’s death only days after Lewis’s death had been equally devastating. Lilly had wept bitter tears when the letter had come from Nadene’s mother. It had simply stated Nadene had succumbed to death, no longer able to fight the debilitating illness that had caused her cough and weakness through her final years.

  For a time Lilly had avoided everyone. The pain of her loss threatened to eat her alive, and dealing with her ragged emotions consumed her time. Work had become nothing more than routine, but at least it filled her days. Nothing, however, had filled the lingering void in her heart. She prayed for God to fill the emptiness, and yet she continued to yearn for something more, something that seemed unobtainable: family.

  The birds chirping overhead as they built their nests served as another reminder of her isolation. “Why, Lord?” Lilly murmured. “Just when Lewis was beginning to change his ways, when we could have resolved our problems and drawn closer—why did you take him then, Lord? Why did you leave me all alone?”

  Gazing heavenward, Lewis’s dying words came to mind. Something about a child, a boy, in the Paddy camp, he had said. “I do have family,” she announced to the sky. “I have a nephew—and somehow I will find him!”

  ****

  “I know you think me rude, but you’ll enjoy the day if you only get out and give it a try,” Miss Addie stated as she fairly pushed Lilly ahead of her.

  “You sound just like Matthew. This morning after church, he said that I needed to get out and enjoy myself, that I had been mourning far too long.”

  Addie nodded in agreement. “That young man has a good head on his shoulders. You listen to him,” Addie clucked. “He’s been more than patient in waiting for you.”

  “Lewis has only been dead three months, Miss Addie. I’d hardly say I’ve been in mourning too long,” Lilly contradicted. “Besides, what do you mean Matthew’s been patient in waiting for me?”

  Addie began fussing with the bow on Lilly’s dress, pulling it first in one direction and then another. “You’re a young woman, Lilly, and I think mourning three months for a brother who spent his entire life tormenting you is sufficient. I know, I know,” she said, holding up her hand, “you and Lewis had begun to reconcile your differences, and he was changing his ways. I commend him for his repentant behavior, Lilly. The fact remains, however, that moping around here with your chin on your chest every day is not going to bring your brother back, and it certainly doesn’t help you. Now go out and have a little fun,” she said, giving the bow one final twist.

  Lilly reached down and embraced Addie in a hug. “Thank you.”

  “You are most welcome,” Miss Addie replied, opening the front door. “I believe your young lady is ready,” Addie said to Matthew with a sweeping gesture.

  “Matthew!” Lilly gasped.

  Matthew held out his arm to Lilly. “Our carriage awaits,” he said with great formality, which caused all three of them to laugh. “It’s good to hear you laugh again, Lilly,” Matthew said as he helped her up into the carriage. “There’s a place not far from Pawtucket Falls where I thought we could picnic.”

  “That’s private property, Matthew. Are you planning to trespass?”

  He gave her a smile. “I think we’ll be safe,” he replied as he urged the horses onward. “I’ve been concerned about you, Lilly. You’ve been so withdrawn since Lewis’s death.”

  She nodded. “I realize that’s true, Matthew. I’ve been feeling so alone, floundering for some sense of identity. I know it may sound feeble, but I’ve been dwelling on the fact that I’m the only Armbruster left. Then the other day I went to the cemetery and was praying, wondering why God had permitted Lewis to die, questioning why I had to be completely alone, without family. It all seemed too unfair. I didn’t want to be alone.”

  Matthew pulled the carriage to a halt. “Good! I’m glad to hear you don’t want to be alone, because that’s what I want to discuss with you,” Matthew replied as he helped her down and retrieved the picnic basket.

  “Really? Well, let me tell you what God revealed to me the other day,” she said, her words gushing forth. “I’m not alone. I have a nephew, Lewis’s child. I want to find him, Matthew. I know you asked a few questions at the Acre shortly after Lewis died, but you didn’t really look for the child. I want to find the boy. He’s an Armbruster. Will you help me find him?”

  Matthew placed a cloth on the ground and began to spread out their picnic luncheon. “Sit down,” he said, patting the blanket and waiting until she seated herself. “I would be willing to help you find the child if you would agree to help me in return,” he said. “Is that something you think you could agree to?”

  Lilly gave him a quizzical look. “I can’t imagine how I could possibly help you with anything, but I promise to do my very best.”

  Matthew nodded and slowly pulled a small box from the inside pocket of his coat. He carefully arched his hand over the box, and although Lilly tried her best, she was unable to peek around his fingers.

  Matthew gave her a solemn look. “Now, remember what you’ve promised,” he said with finality.

  Lilly was beginning to question the propriety of her decision. Surely Matthew wouldn’t ask her to do anything inappropriate, would he? “I remember,” she meekl
y answered.

  Matthew handed the box to Lilly. Nestled inside was a beautiful sapphire ring. “This ring once belonged to my grandmother,” he said.

  “It’s beautiful,” Lilly replied, handing it back to him.

  He smiled. “I’m pleased you like it, because my grandmother gave me the ring so that I could one day give it to my wife, Lilly.”

  It took a moment before she understood the full impact of what Matthew was saying. She gazed at him in disbelief. “Are you—do you—I mean . . .” she stammered.

  “Yes, Lilly, I’m asking you to marry me. I want you to become my wife.”

  Tears streamed down Lilly’s cheeks. Matthew wanted her to be his wife. She was going to belong to someone—have a family.

  Matthew softly brushed away her tears. “I know I can’t make up for all you’ve lost, but I’m determined that together we can create an even better life. It won’t replace your old family, and that’s not what I want to do. You need to keep your memories. But I want to make you happy. I want to build new memories with you, Lilly. I want you to be my wife.” He paused and gave her a look so full of love and longing that Lilly thought her heart would burst. “I love you, Lilly. I’ve never stopped loving you.”

  “Oh, and I love you, Matthew. I did you wrong by blaming you for everything that happened here in Lowell. I wanted so much for life . . . for us, to go on as it had always been. It was safe and I was happy.”

  “I want to make you happy again. Will you marry me?” He paused and gave her a roguish grin. “Don’t forget your promise that you’d do anything I asked.”

  Wiping away a stray tear, Lilly permitted Matthew to slip the ring on her finger. “It would make me very proud to be your wife, Matthew,” she said, gazing down at the ring. Tears of joy spilled over and trickled down her cheeks. “Yes, yes, I’ll marry you,” she said, lifting her lips to accept his kiss.

  ****

  “I’m not sure how I’m going to hide my ring,” Lilly said, gazing down at the sparkling stone as they arrived at the boardinghouse.