Seeds

by Chris Mandeville

  “Just because this is what I do, doesn’t mean it’s always business. And Brandt had no right to tell you.”

  “No one told me. I didn’t know until now.”

  “So you admit it. You don’t want me because of my job. Well, you can go to hell. I’m not ashamed. I chose it and I do it well. I won’t apologize to you or anyone else.”

  Her eyes flashed with rage as she turned away, but Nikolai knew it was a mask for her fear. He grabbed her arm and spun her around.

  “That’s not why,” he said.

  “You’re all a bunch of prudes. Let me go.”

  Nikolai laughed. “Do you have any idea what my mother does? And my sister? I grew up in a whorehouse. I have nothing against what you do. I understand you, perhaps better than you understand yourself. And I know what you really want now is not a fuck in the rain.”

  She looked up at him, soaked to the bone, her soul naked and vulnerable. This was the real Mia—a frightened, lost child. “I’m all alone here. I have no one.” She wasn’t playing him now.

  “You’re not alone. I meant what I told you last night. I’m not going to abandon you. You don’t need to flatter me or play me or fuck me. I give you my friendship freely.”

  He held out his arms to her. She hesitated a moment, then stepped forward and let him envelope her. She was stiff. Tense and unsure. So he waited, giving her time to realize there was nothing sexual about his embrace. After a moment, she slid her arms around him and rested her forehead in the crook of his neck, the way Tatiana did when she needed to feel safe. As he held her, he wondered if Mia had ever known the love of a father, or of any man who didn’t want something from her in return.

  One Hundred Twenty-One

  Sausalito

  The sun was coming up when Reid left the new mother and baby. The ground was wet, but the sky was clear. He’d missed the chance to take that walk in the rain with Mia.

  Maybe he’d ask her to go for a walk anyway. They needed to finish their conversation.

  All night he’d tried not to think about what Brandt told him, or the fact that Mia hadn’t denied it. It had been easy to forget during the delivery itself. A breech baby was all-consuming under the best of circumstances, but this one had gotten hung up on the umbilical cord and entered the world blue and still. Reid refused to give up, though, and when he’d finally handed over the baby, pink and squalling, the new mother said it was a miracle.

  Miracle. That’s what she named the baby.

  An image of Kayla flashed in Reid’s mind, the way she’d look in a few month’s time, her belly round and full with Brian’s baby. Then a realization hit him like a physical blow—he wouldn’t be there for the baby’s birth, the naming, for any of it.

  He wouldn’t be there for Kayla if the baby didn’t make it.

  The guilt nearly drove him to his knees. How could he live with himself if he didn’t go back? He owed it to Kayla. He owed it to his grandmother. They shouldn’t spend the rest of their lives waiting and wondering. They deserved to know Tinker had died, even if they hated him for it. They needed to know there were others in the world, people thriving on fish, and seaweed, and apples.

  He absolutely had to go home. But, he realized, he didn’t have to stay there. He could come back to Sausalito and bring anyone who wanted to join him. They’d be free from malnutrition and have a better life than was ever possible in the Mountain.

  He pictured himself returning to Sausalito with dozens of people from Colorado. He could imagine the astonishment on their faces as they saw the green of the trees for the first time, and the warm welcome they’d receive from the colonists. He could see Mia standing there in her pink dress, squealing with delight as she saw him, running to meet him with love in her eyes that was meant for him and him alone.

  For the first time since Tinker died, he knew exactly what to do. And when he came back from Colorado, he’d settle down with Mia. She was beautiful, and sexy, and she loved him, wanted him. He could be happy with her. Brandt had lied, and Reid never should have believed him.

  He hurried to town, anxious to find Mia and apologize. He’d beg and grovel until she had no choice but to forgive him, then they’d make up.

  When he got to the hotel, he bolted up the stairs and down the hall to their room. As he reached for the doorknob, he heard a man’s voice.

  “You got what you wanted. You don’t need him anymore.”

  Nikolai? Reid opened the door.

  Brandt stood toe-to-toe with Mia.

  “What’s going on?” Reid said.

  “Tell him the truth,” Brandt told Mia. “You owe him that.” Brandt met Reid’s gaze, then strode past him through the doorway.

  Reid shut the door and held out his hand to Mia. “I never should have listened to him. Please, forgive me.”

  Mia turned away and went to the window.

  “I was wrong,” Reid continued, crossing to her. He touched her shoulder. She didn’t turn, didn’t say anything. He slipped his arms around her and nuzzled her ear. “I love you.”

  “Don’t.” She pushed him away. “Take your stuff and go. Please, go. I’m trying to do the right thing here.”

  “What do you mean, the right thing?” He tried to make eye contact, but she wouldn’t look at him.

  “I’m not going to Colorado with you.”

  “That’s okay.” He touched her arm. “I have to go, but I’ll come back.”

  “You don’t understand. I’m trying to say I don’t love you.”

  “You don’t mean that.” What had Brandt said to do this to her? “Whatever Brandt said, he was trying to hurt you, like you said he would. He doesn’t want you to be happy. But we love each other. I’m not going to let you push me away.”

  “Listen. You don’t love me any more than I love you. I needed you to believe you loved me. I had to make sure you wanted me, needed me, couldn’t live without me. So that when you left Lost Angeles you didn’t leave me behind. But you don’t love me. Not really.”

  “Why would you say that? You know I love you.”

  “Believe me, you’re not the first to leave my bed thinking you were in love.” She shook her head, a smirk curling her lips. “That’s what I do, and I’m good at my job.”

  “What . . . what are you talking about?”

  She took a breath as if to speak, but then stared at him, eyebrows raised. The longer she was silent, the sicker he felt and the more he wanted her to keep the words inside, and not speak them. Not ever speak them. He didn’t want to know. But it was already too late.

  “That was your job?” he whispered.

  “You had to have known.”

  “That sex was your job? How would I know that? Where I’m from, that’s not a job.” Embarrassment spread from his cheeks down his neck. It all added up now—the elaborate set-up with the shower and doctor’s exam. Mia coming onto him so quickly. God. How many men had she been with? Did it take a lot of practice to become so good at pretending?

  She shrugged. “It’s better than being a seamstress or a cook.”

  “So everything between us, you didn’t mean any of it. It was all a lie.”

  She shrugged again.

  “And my grandfather?” Reid asked, his stomach clenching. “You were going to lie about that, too?”

  “As it turned out, I didn’t need to.”

  She didn’t have any trouble looking him in the eye now. This was the real Mia. How had he not seen it before? It was right there in front of him. The manipulation, the cunning, the guile, the outright lies. She didn’t love him. She’d used him. She’d been using him all along.

  He couldn’t look at her any more. He turned away, but it didn’t help. The real Mia was etched on his retinas, her callous smirk and remorseless eyes perpetuating his pain and humiliation.

  One Hundred Twenty-Two

  Lost Angeles

  Pascal cleared his throat and entered Justine’s room. “The full moon is in three days.”

  “Three days?”
Justine exclaimed. “We need to leave right away.”

  “Then we will. Tell me what you need. I’m at your command.”

  “I need to set some ground rules. First, I’m the only one who drives.”

  “Is that wise? In your condition?”

  “I’ll be fine. Second, I’m not going to tell you where we’re going.”

  “I didn’t expect you to.”

  “Third, Dr. Advani is the only one coming with us. No soldiers, no weapons. And finally, I’ll need to drug you and Dr. Advani when we get close to our destination. You agreed I could sedate you, so no arguing. It’s the only way I can protect my people. Without that, we don’t go.”

  “I understand. I will instruct Dr. Advani to bring whatever drugs you request, but I insist on a handgun for protection.” He had to make her feel like there was a little give and take. She was no half-wit. If he agreed to everything, she’d know something was wrong.

  “Fine, one gun. Now, shall we get the car?”

  Pascal nodded, carefully concealing his joy. “Absolutely, my dear, as long as you’re feeling strong enough.” Finally the vehicle. One step closer to having his revenge.

  It was a challenge to remain patient while Dr. Advani got Justine situated in a chariot for the ride out to Anaheim stadium. The woman kept fussing with blankets and pillows, making sure Justine was comfortable, giving her a bottle of water. It nearly broke him when, after Justine was settled, the doctor asked if she had to empty her bladder. Luckily for all concerned, Justine declined.

  He and Advani both sat with Justine for the ride, making the cart that much heavier for the Blades to haul. He hadn’t intended for Advani to accompany them, but she’d parked herself beside Justine uninvited. When he’d looked at her quizzically, she’d scowled and turned back to arranging Justine’s pillows. Perhaps it wasn’t a terrible situation. He did want Justine to think that her health was paramount.

  Finally, they pulled into the stadium parking lot, and the Blades slid to a stop near the Humvee. The leader set the brake on the chariot, then assisted Advani and Justine to the ground.

  Justine drew in a sharp breath as she stepped down.

  “Are you all right?” Advani steadied Justine by the elbow as Pascal leapt from the chariot and took her other arm.

  “I’ll be fine.” Pain creased Justine’s brow as she walked to the car. “If we don’t leave tomorrow, we have to wait a month.”

  Ah, the phase of the moon.

  Justine opened the car door and climbed into the driver’s seat. “The key?”

  Pascal took the card from his pocket and placed it in her hand.

  “Step back,” Justine said. “Your men, too. No one sees how I start it. Non-negotiable.”

  “Men!” he shouted. “Form a twenty-foot perimeter around the vehicle. If it moves, shoot her.” He smiled at Justine and stepped back, hoping he could see what she did to start the car. She put the key in the reader—that much he’d done himself. It looked like she was entering a code, but it was impossible to see which digits or how many.

  The engine came to life.

  The window lowered. “Get in, Chancellor.”

  Pascal allowed himself to grin back at her. This was indeed a moment to be celebrated, more than Justine even knew.

  One Hundred Twenty-Three

  Sausalito

  Reid found Brandt in Marseille’s pub. “I’m going with you.”

  Brandt looked up from his cider. “What happened?”

  “You were right about Mia.”

  “I’m sorry. I wish I’d been wrong.”

  Reid collapsed in the chair across from him. “I wish I’d seen it sooner. Maybe things would have turned out different.”

  Brandt took a swig of his cider and wiped the froth from his mouth. “It wasn’t your fault, Reid. I know Mia told you I blame you for Justine’s death. But I don’t.”

  She didn’t have to—I blame myself. “Let’s not talk about Mia.”

  Brandt nodded. “I can live with that.”

  “So, when do we leave?”

  “Tomorrow soon enough?”

  “Now isn’t soon enough, but tomorrow gives me time to pack. I just need a minute, then I’ll get to work.” He propped his elbows on the table and rested his head in his hands, trying to put his jumbled thoughts in order.

  “You look wrecked,” Brandt said.

  “Before things went bad with Mia, I was up all night delivering a baby. I need a couple of hours sleep, but there’s no way in hell I’m going back to my room.”

  “Go crash upstairs in my room.”

  “Yeah? That would be great, because right now I can’t think straight. I’d end up packing six left boots and nothing else.”

  “Go get some sleep, and don’t sweat the packing. Everything will make more sense when you wake up.”

  Reid hoped so, but he doubted anything could help him make sense of Mia’s job.

  One Hundred Twenty-Four

  San Francisco Bay, aboard the Belle

  Nikolai stood shoulder to shoulder with Will looking out at the Bay. “Son, I have something for you.” Nikolai pulled his father’s pipe from his breast pocket and held it out. “This doesn’t mean I want you to take up smoking.”

  “Wow, Dad. It’s beautiful. You sure?”

  Nikolai nodded, and Will took the pipe, turning it over in his hands.

  “It came on the sub with your grandfather all the way from Russia,” Nikolai said. “It was his father’s before him, and I want it to stay in the family. It’s yours now, and I hope someday you will pass it down to your own child.”

  “Thank you. I’ll treasure it,” Will said.

  Nikolai pulled him into a hug. “I’m proud of you moy zolotoy mal’ch’ik.”

  “Yah vahs lyoo-blyoo, Papa.”

  “Who taught you that?”

  “You did.”

  “When you were five.”

  “I have a good memory.”

  “Hmph. Go find your sister. I have something for her, too.”

  Will went belowdecks, and Nikolai hurried to the bow where Kennedy was checking the riggings.

  “There’s something I need to say to you privately, but with my nosey daughter on board, we have to make it quick.”

  “Yes sir?”

  “You asked me something once, and I gave you a less than pleasant answer.”

  “I’m afraid you’ll have to be more specific.”

  Nikolai laughed, realizing that statement could apply to multiple occasions. “I’m talking about when you asked to marry my daughter.”

  “Ah yes, I believe your answer was, no fu—”

  “If you’ll allow me,” Nikolai interrupted, smiling despite himself. Kennedy was already feeling like a son. “I’d appreciate the chance to answer you differently . . .” Nikolai pulled a small box from his pocket and opened it. “I’d like for you to have this, along with my blessing.”

  “What are you doing?” Tatiana called.

  “Damn, not quick enough,” Nikolai said.

  “Is that mom’s ring?” Tatiana exclaimed. “Will said you gave him Grandpa’s pipe. Are you going to kill yourself?”

  “What?” After a split second of shock, Nikolai roared with laughter. He laughed and howled and snorted until his sides hurt and he had to sit down on a barrel and blow his nose. No one else was laughing. “Tatiana, you are the most direct person I’ve ever met.”

  Tatiana glared, hands on her hips. “This isn’t funny.”

  “I’m not going to kill myself,” he said. “I can’t imagine why you’d think that, but you don’t have to worry. It’s the furthest thing from my mind.”

  “I’m sorry, but when a person changes and gets all emotional and gives away their most prized possessions, then it’s logical to think that maybe they’re planning to, you know.”

  “I don’t know about logical,” Will said, coming up behind her. “It’s not the first thing that came to my mind.”

  “You’ve never been kno
wn as the most logical person,” Tatiana said.

  “Hey! Not nice,” Will said.

  “Well, what did you think was going on?” Tatiana demanded. Then she gasped and turned back to Nikolai. “Oh no, don’t tell me you’re having a midlife crisis and you’re going to marry someone half your age. Oh God that’s it! That’s why you have mom’s ring out. That’s what the big announcement is going to be at the party tonight.”

  Nikolai couldn’t help grinning.

  “No, no, no,” Tatiana said. “That is so wrong, so terribly horribly wrong. Do something, Will.”

  “Like what? What can I do? It’s not like giving back the pipe will change his mind.”

  Nikolai looked at Kennedy, pleading with him for help.

  “Guys,” Kennedy said, getting their attention. “I don’t know what your father’s big announcement is about, but I know why he has the ring, and I’m afraid it is for a young woman. Someone your age, Tati.”

  “I knew it,” Tatiana said.

  “Way to go, Dad,” Will said, socking him in the arm.

  Kennedy held out his hand. “Sir, may I?”

  Nikolai whispered, “Now?” When Kennedy nodded, Nikolai handed him the ring.

  Kennedy turned to Tatiana and bent down on one knee. “Tatiana Grace Petrov, you are the most incredible creature on this planet. You make my life interesting every moment of every day, and I want to spend the rest of my life trying to keep up with you. Will you marry me?”

  “Oh my God, that’s what this is about?” Tatiana said. “You let me think my dad was committing suicide or marrying a teenager so you could surprise me?”

  Nikolai was incredulous. “Is this how you answer his proposal?”

  Kennedy’s grin was wide. “I wouldn’t have it any other way, sir.”

  “Oh, stop it,” Tatiana said. “Don’t worry, Dad. He already proposed quite romantically, and I already accepted.”

  “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised,” Nikolai said shaking his head. “Don’t tell me you’re already married, too.”

  “Married? No, I didn’t want to get married without Mom’s ring. I figured it would take you awhile to come around, so I planned on an extra-long engagement.”