Don't Think Twice

by Nikky Kaye

  We sped to the door, which was still unlocked. Thank fucking god. Everyone else was still getting settled, too, so nobody noticed when we slunk in. Everyone except for Dylan, though, who seemed a little too interested in the way Cass was taking off her coat.

  Fuck, why wasn’t I helping her with her coat? Goddammit, that teaching ass was turning me all around. I needed to focus on Cassie and get my head out of my ass.

  “Hey, Will?”

  “Yeah?” I pulled a couple of pens and pencils out of my bag and slapped them down on the bench.

  “Uh, about the other night—”

  I looked up. She was looking directly at me, which was a good start. She was also a little flustered, and her fingers nervously molested her pen. Ah, shit. I put my hand out and lay it over hers.

  “Cass, it’s okay,” I told her in a low voice. “I needed some vasoconstriction then anyway.” No man truly wants erectile dysfunction, but there are times and places when it’s preferable to sporting a raging boner.

  “You know, I just realized that my…” She glanced around before leaning into me. A weak smile on her face, she whispered, “safe word is just a more clinical term for cock-blocking.”

  Well, yeah. Most safe words were used exactly for that reason. She was so fucking cute sometimes, like Bambi on the ice for the first time. I wanted to make her legs buckle and send her into a dizzying tailspin.

  “We can talk about it later, okay?” I said.

  She looked down at my hand over hers, and flipped them around so hers was on top. Squeezing my fingers, she gave me a real smile—the kind that radiated from her eyes and wrinkled her nose. “Yeah. After.”

  Dylan stepped in front of our bench, shoving an exam book in my face. “Opposite sides of the bench. No talking.” His face was studiously blank.

  We shifted our stools away from each other, and got to work. It was mostly multiple choice and short answer, which I found a piece of cake. Poor Cass. As an Arts student, she’d probably rather have an essay question.

  After the midterm, she’d moaned to me that she couldn’t decide on the right answer. She’d changed some of her correct responses to the wrong answer. I’d told her to go with her first instinct next time.

  Little did I know it would be the philosophy guiding my love life.

  The way her pencil flew over the bubble sheet showed me that she’d studied hard, listened to me, or was creating art on the answer sheet. As much as I would have loved to take the credit, I would put money on the studying.

  She actually finished the first section before me, which gave me the chance to watch her seduce her pen as she read over the questions. She tapped it against her mouth before dragging it under her chin and back up again to rest in the dent under her lower lip. My gaze followed the pen’s path as I bit my own lip. Lucky fucking pen.

  If only she was tracing her face with the bottom end of it instead of the uncapped tip… Oh, Cass…

  The sound of a stool scraping the floor jolted me back, and I shook my head. Fucking focus, Will!

  The rest of the time flew by, in contrast to every other part of the day. Maybe it was because I knew that Cass was breathing five feet away from me, or maybe it was the fact that I knew my shit for this test and wanted to move the fuck on. Either way, the sneer on Dylan’s face when I handed him my exam book didn’t phase me.

  When I grabbed my stuff from the bench, I stood as close as I could to Cass while putting my coat on. I was probably the only person in the room who could hear her humming softly to herself as she read over her answers, adjusting things here and there. My stomach flipped when she glanced up at me with a relieved smile.

  “No talking!”

  Fuck you, Dylan.

  Cassie blushed and went back to her paper. Her hair was swept up in a ponytail, and I curved my palm over the back of her neck.

  Relax, you got this, the gentle squeeze of my hand said.

  She beamed up at me again, mouthing, “Wait for me.”

  Dylan’s stool squeaked as he straightened to stand, his clenched fists in contrast to his try-hard casual look. The douche canoe probably spent twenty minutes in the morning creating “beach hair”.

  Cass shivered under my palm, but she didn’t move away or brush me off. Even better, she seemed to be completely unaware of the teaching ass’s derision. I met Dylan’s glare head on, silently daring him to say or do something. The only move he made was to plant his hands on his hips and shoot me death rays from his eyes.

  I snorted quietly. His threatening glare was a lot less effective coming from behind wire-rimmed glasses. It wasn’t exactly like incinerating ants under a magnifying glass in the sun.

  Risking my grade and a kick in the balls, I caressed Cass’s nape one more time before impulsively bending over and dropping a soft kiss there. Her back arched in reaction and she sucked in a quiet gasp through her teeth.

  “Proud of you,” I whispered in her ear, feeling her sag. “See you outside.”

  * * *

  I stood in the hall as people dribbled out. I had no interest in anyone’s worried expressions, questions about the break, or even saying hi. In fact, I was probably coming off as an anti-social asshole.

  But I was waiting for Cass. I had been waiting for Cass for a long time. Eventually I went from standing to leaning, then from leaning to dropping my bag on the floor and sliding down the wall into a crouch.

  What the fuck was taking so long?

  Finally, my mental tally accounted for pretty much everyone in the class, which just left her in the room. And Dylan.

  I jumped up and looked through the little window in the door, but couldn’t see shit. I opened the door to find Cass setting up her lab equipment at our bench. The frown on her face made me frown as well, and then I just downright scowled when I saw Dylan hovering like a kid who got a drone for Christmas.

  She looked up when the door closed behind me. Something melted in her face and body when she saw me, an almost microscopic change that I saw and clearly Dylan did not.

  “We’re busy,” he said dismissively. “Cass has to finish this today to meet the grading deadline.”

  “I know, she told me. But I’m sure she gets a quick break between the final and this lab, right?” I dropped my bag, my eyes on her. I promised myself I’d be cool, friendly and detached—even stoic.

  “I’m sure I do, right Dylan?” She looked to him, and the poor bastard was caught.

  If he said no, then he looked like an asshole. If he said yes, then it was giving me time with her that he wanted to monopolize. In the split second it took him to agonize over the decision, Cass made it for him.

  “Go get a coffee or check your email or something while I set up here, Dylan.” She looked up at the clock above the door. “We can start in about twenty.”

  “But—”

  “I promise, I will do all the set up myself. Will won’t help me at all.”

  I turned wide, innocent eyes to the Teaching Ass. “Not one bit. I won’t lay one hand on the bench.”

  I would be the bigger man. As I held the door open for him, it was satisfying to see that I literally was the bigger man as he dawdled out. And yeah, I can’t lie; it felt pretty fucking great to look down on him.

  The second he was gone, Cass jumped at me, squealing.

  “I think I did okay! That exam didn’t feel as bad as I thought it would!”

  Her legs wrapped around my waist, and I thrust my hands under her ass to support her. It was either that or let her knock me down like a child with a Great Dane. I stumbled back, holding on tight so she wouldn’t fall. Her grin was contagious.

  “You rocked it, baby. Why the fuck wouldn’t you?” My girl was brilliant. She was an idiot for doubting it.

  Winding her arms around my neck, she kissed me hard. I stumbled again, my hands squeezing her ass. Jesus, this girl would be the death of me. I fell back against an empty lab bench, my tongue sliding against hers. She tasted like cinnamon gum and felt just as hot to th
e touch.

  “Will, I feel so awesome.”

  I tightened my grip on her, my arms straining a little. “Yes, yes you do.”

  She threw her head back and giggled. It was the sexiest display of pen marks on a person’s chin that I’d ever seen.

  “I wish everyone could feel this awesome,” she said.

  “I’m pretty sure I aced it, too, you know.” True, I wasn’t doing the same kind of happy dance, but—

  “I want you to feel awesome, too,” she announced, then dropped her legs to slither down my body—and kept going. Her hands on my waistband, she had my fly open and my dick out before I could even look at the clock to see that we only had—oh fuck!

  “Cass, what are you doing?” It was a rhetorical question. I was already throbbing in her hands.

  “Making you feel awesome.” And she took me in her hot, wet mouth and sucked hard.

  “Fuck!” My hands flew back and slapped the side of the bench as she laved her tongue around me. She never failed to surprise me. Even though she was licking me like a fucking ice cream cone, she still had a blush on her face.

  Although now it was occurring to me that her blushes could have been from arousal, not embarrassment. My bad?

  “Cass, we only have—” My gaze flew wildly to the clock. “—twelve minutes.”

  My cock slid out of her mouth with a popping sound as she eyed me suspiciously. “Are you doubting my time management skills?”

  “Uh, no?” More like I doubted Dylan’s ability to handle seeing her sucking me off.

  “Then don’t make me talk with my mouth full.”

  She proceeded to blow my mind, and thanks to being in a state of semi-arousal for three days, blowing me took an embarrassingly short time.

  “Fuck! Are you going to swallow me down, Cass? You want me down your throat, don’t you?”

  She nodded, her eyes watery as she looked up at me. Her mischievous blinks made me groan, but it was the squeezing of her throat around me as she swallowed that was my undoing.

  I couldn’t help panting as she licked me clean. My heart rattled in my chest as though I’d sprinted all the way to my apartment—which was my next destination, with Cass slung over my shoulder.

  “I think I sucked out your brain cells, Will.” She popped up and started fiddling with my jeans. “Dylan will be back any second.”

  Well, that reminder took care of any lingering arousal. “Jesus Christ, I don’t want to know how you learned to do that so, uh, efficiently.”

  “I told you, Will. Smutty fanfic.” She turned away to root in her coat pocket for some lip balm. “Internet porn for girls, remember? Twilight’s the best.”

  I never thought I’d be grateful to Edward fucking Cullen for a blowjob.

  “Are you sure I can’t stay?” I pulled her back into my arms. Dylan could go fuck himself if he came back in while I was kissing the lip balm off her. It was strawberry-flavored.

  She shook her head. “I don’t want you to.”

  Oh. I stumbled again. This time she let go.

  “Got it.” I took a deep breath. Do not push, do not push!

  She offered me an apologetic smile, then kissed my neck. “Dylan thinks I’ll do better if I focus with just him.”

  Okay, maybe push a little.

  I raised an eyebrow. “He has a crush on you, you know.”

  “So do you,” she teased. Then she turned red. “I mean, I think you do. I don’t want to assume anythi—”

  “Cass, I don’t have a crush on you.”

  Her face fell, and so did her hands. That would just not fucking do. I tilted her chin up, hoping I wasn’t just about to shoot myself in the dick.

  “Cass, I’m already crushed. I’m fucking obliterated. I’m dust, and I’m afraid you’ll just pucker up those perfect lips and blow me away.”

  So much for being detached.

  “Will, we need to talk—”

  Oh Christ. Nothing good ever started with those words. Seriously. There should just be a whole section in the card store for “We Need to Talk” between “Sympathy” and “Get Well”. Of course, I’d been encouraging her to talk. I wanted her to speak her mind, tell me what she wanted from me in every way.

  But I sure as fuck wasn’t fiending to find out what she didn’t want from me. Triple or nothing it was something I didn’t want to hear.

  Chapter Ten

  Cassie

  I’d said “we need to talk,” but now I didn’t know what to say. And whatever it was, I didn’t have a lot of time to say it. Dylan would be back any minute, and then I’d be elbow deep in a pig fetus. Ick. I couldn’t wait to be done with this class.

  “Cass, say something.”

  I blinked at Will. Will, my friend with benefits who basically just told me that I was more to him than just a fuck buddy.

  Who was this man? He’d become a friend in class, helping me with his irreverent sense of humor and a serious brain. He’d dragged me out to have fun when I didn’t want to, but made me feel safe when it was too much. And then I’d confessed that I didn’t like sex. Sure, it wasn’t the darkest of secrets, but I was only twenty-one.

  Did he make fun of me? No. Did he feel sorry for me? No. Instead, he’d shown me how great sex could be, and then reminded me how stupid it was to feel guilty or shameful about it. He’d reverse slut-shamed me and rebuilt my self-confidence in the process. Damn. He was better than Oprah.

  Then came the confusing part. I knew that he wanted to stay friends while having sex, so I couldn’t just be detached. But then he insisted that I explore my own desires, which meant that he didn’t care if I fooled around with other guys? Judging by his attitude towards Dylan, I highly doubted that.

  Will would take charge of my pleasure then back off at the last minute. It was more than disorienting. It was a total mind fuck. I wasn’t even sure why we’d upped the stakes anymore. Weren’t mind-blowing orgasms enough?

  I felt like I’d been wearing a bra that was the wrong size my whole life, and I never knew until I was properly measured and fitted. So now I was standing straighter and prouder, and anxious to fill my underwear drawer with new bras that make my boobs look and feel spectacular. And Will tells me that he wants to buy all my underwear.

  Okay, maybe that was a bad analogy.

  I’d taken too long to answer him, and his expression hardened with each moment passing while I detoured through my own stupid psyche.

  “What are we?” I asked him. Oh god, I’d become that girl. I hated that girl.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Are we dating?”

  He looked down at his crotch. “Uh, very recent history would indicate that,” he said slowly, reminding me that I’d just had his dick in my mouth.

  I felt a frisson of feminine pride about that. And I also felt damp panties. Having that power over him and knowing how good I made him feel was a big turn on. I hadn’t realized before how empowering giving head could be. I always thought it was demeaning or something to do because you had to. But it was kind of awesome.

  I wanted to do it again and again. And then I wanted him to lay me out on the lab bench and fuck me—but maybe not beside the fetal pig. That would be too weird.

  “Cass, what do you want us to be?” he asked warily, a bewildered frown carving a line between his eyes.

  “I want… I don’t know!” Again, he was giving me all the power, but I wasn’t sure that I wanted it. “I want—”

  The door opened.

  “You ready to go?” Dylan asked as he placed a bottle of soda on the bench I hadn’t finished setting up yet. Guilt and shame twisted my stomach. Apparently I hadn’t gotten over those two emotions yet.

  Will’s expression flattened as he turned away from Dylan. When he walked toward the door, I followed him.

  “You ready?” Dylan repeated. He was starting to sound irritated.

  I shooed him away. “One sec. Will, don’t go like this,” I said in a low voice.

  “Like what?�
�

  We stood by the door, only inches apart and talking quietly. “We haven’t figured anything out.”

  “No shit.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “I don’t get you, Cass. You wanted to like sex. Well, now you like sex—at least with me.”

  I nodded. “But what are we—”

  “Cass?” Dylan’s voice rose.

  “Just a fucking minute,” Will ground out. He grabbed my hands and closed his fists around them, capturing my full attention.

  “I want you. I’m pretty sure you know that by now. But it’s you that I want, not the wanting itself. It’s not just biology, if you’ll forgive the irony.” He jerked his chin toward Dylan.

  “It’s up to you. You’re in charge,” he urged, “no matter what. Don’t let anybody tell you that you’re not in charge of your body. Don’t get me wrong—I love it when you let me borrow it and take it for a ride, but it’s yours.”

  His gaze bounced over me like a ball in a roulette wheel, unsure where to stop. “Those sexy lips are yours, just like the words that come out of them. The breasts that you think are lopsided are yours. Your big ass brain—though fuck if I know how it works sometimes—is all you. But you’re also in charge of the hot, tight parts you don’t want to mention out loud.”

  “I, uh…”

  Shit, I was speechless again—with wet panties. Maybe Will should be in charge of buying my underwear, since he seemed compelled to ruin it.

  “Cass, it’s all yours.” As he dropped my hands, he rolled his eyes. “I just wouldn’t mind working out some kind of joint custody arrangement of your—” He broke off suddenly, snapping his jaw shut.

  “What?”

  He shook his head, frowning in Dylan’s general direction. Then, before I knew it, I was arched over his arm as he claimed me in a hot, hard, possessive kiss. In the millisecond in which I was capable of thought, I wondered to myself if he could taste his own come at the back of my mouth. He stole my breath before I could take one.