The Bear's Home

by Emilia Hartley

  Does any of this even matter right now? she asked herself suddenly, chastising her indecisive nature. When Dan decided to kiss her, he wasn’t thinking about the future, or all the ways this could blow up in their faces. She would never have all the answers of whether or not everything would work itself out in their favor. All that mattered was that they had something right now. All the stuff that came after could wait.

  Standing on her tiptoes, Lucy slid her arms around Dan’s neck and pressed her lips against his once more.

  It was gentle and sweet, with none of the usual awkwardness that usually marred the first few kisses. She felt like she was kissing an old lover and long-time friend, someone she’d kissed a million times before.

  Dan barely moved, only laying his hands lightly on her waist, never pushing or grabbing or influencing their embrace in any way. He let Lucy control the progression of their intimacy; it was a difference of night and day from how he acted a week ago. Lucy loved it, her fingers coiling in his hair as every nerve in her body tingled from this electric bond they shared. It felt like time had stopped around them; nothing else mattered. There was only Dan.

  It felt like an eternity before Dan pulled away, and still it wasn’t long enough. He rested his head lightly against hers, smiling lightly as they breathed in time with one another.

  Lucy was unsure of what to say. Her heart was racing a million miles a minute, the passion of their embrace surging through every fiber of her being. She was never a shy person by any means, but something about Dan flipped a switch in her. She didn’t want to blindly move forward the way she normally did, never fearing the consequences because nothing could be worse than living with her deranged brother. She realized now that that wasn’t true. Losing this, whatever this was between them… the risk of that was infinitely worse than anything she could imagine her brother doing to her.

  “I couldn’t resist anymore,” he finally breathed softly. “I’m happy to see that you couldn’t either.”

  She smiled up at him, their foreheads still pressed together. “Me too,” was all she could think long enough to say.

  “So,” he began, stepping back from their embrace. “I vaguely recall you saying you wanted to talk?” he quipped.

  Lucy chuckled forgetting entirely that that was in fact the reason she’d sought him out in the first place. “I do, but can we do it over some dinner? I don’t know about you, but I could use a bite to eat,” she answered.

  “Sure” he agreed, too eagerly, and it made Lucy grin harder. “But unless you’re in the mood for more Chinese, we’ll have to dine in tonight.”

  Lucy’s ears perked at his reply. “You cook?”

  “Well enough,” he replied. “Definitely better than Nick’s terrible try the night we met.”

  Could this man get any more perfect? “I’d love a home cooked meal,” she said.

  “Fantastic.” He held out his hand to her, and after a slight pause, Lucy took it. Her hand fit perfectly in his, as if their palms were crafted only for each other and no one else. Everything about today suddenly felt perfectly, as if the planets aligned and created the perfect moment for them to live in. It was the happiest that Lucy had been in the long time.

  ***

  Dan hoped that a homemade pizza with salad on the side was enough to impress Lucy. He hadn’t realized that there wasn’t much back at the shop to work with when he suggested cooking for her, so he was grateful that there were just enough ingredients to get by. Things were going so well today after a week of awkward silence, and he wanted to keep it that way.

  He smiled to himself as he served up the food. Taking a chance to kiss Lucy was a gigantic gamble that could have gone either way. Flashbacks of the way she’d stormed off a week before played in his mind, and for a moment, he feared she might still be upset by his actions; things could have easily plummeted south, but they didn’t. She didn’t pull away from him, she didn’t yell or protest, and she even kissed him back. It was the perfect outcome.

  Of course, this didn’t solve the underlying issues with their relationship. He still longed for a partner that could live out the best half of his life with him, and as far as Lucy had let on, she was still sticking to her guns about never shifting. Despite this, Dan wanted to make things work. They still had their differences, but for now, what they had between them today was enough.

  “Dinner is served,” Dan announced, grinning as he placed a plate in front of Lucy.

  “Wow,” she gasped, inhaling deeply over the food before glancing up at him. “I know you said you cook, but this is something else.”

  Dan chuckled as he sat down, beaming with pride. “Don’t tell me how impressed you are until after you taste it. It might not taste as good as it looks!”

  Lucy laughed. “I’m sure it tastes fine,” she replied confidently. “The fact that you went to such effort to create a meal for us is more than enough to impress me.”

  Dan lifted his shoulders. “You’re worth it,” he said easily, and he meant it. “After making a complete fool of myself today, I had to make it up to you, somehow.”

  “Nothing about you that I saw today was foolish,” Lucy retorted, her eyes trailing slowly down Dan’s torso, and for a moment she’d convinced him that she wasn’t only hungry for pizza.

  Swallowing hard, he focused intently on the plate in front of him before he did something stupid. “Fair enough,” he muttered before taking a big bite of his food.

  Silence fell between them as they ate, and Dan was grateful for it. He wasn’t afraid of the intimacy, but he was worried that moving too fast might excite his bear. All his bear wanted was for Lucy to give in to her other half. Thoughts of her first change in the pack kept Dan up at night, and when he could finally get a bit of sleep, he dreamed of it too. But he had a penchant for screwing things up; if he was going to approach the subject again, he had to do it slowly. Anything else was a set up for failure.

  “So,” Dan began, wiping the corner of his mouth with a napkin. “What do you think Dominic’s up to right now?”

  He winced at the topic of discussion that he decided to fall on, but Lucy didn’t seem to mind. “Nothing good,” she grimaced. “But I know that’s not what you really wanted to ask me, is it?” She looked into his eyes intently, and Dan knew he had been found out.

  He sighed. “Am I that easy to read?”

  She smiled, but it was a bit sad. “A little.” Her face fell serious. “If we’re being honest here, I don’t really want to talk about it. Nothing we discuss will change my mind.”

  Dan’s heart sank a bit at the declaration, but he still held out hope. “Not even if I can convince you that not all shifters are like your brother?”

  She shook her head, taking a big bite of pizza.

  “Well can you at least try and explain to me why?” he asked gently. He could see the hesitation on her face as she chewed. “Maybe if I understood more about your reasons, I could finally shake off this feeling that there’s something I can do to change your mind.” He was growing closer to her, despite all the mistakes he’d made. He didn’t want this to stop that progression into something that could last between them. “I won’t force you to do anything you don’t want to do, but I’m losing sleep over this. I need to know. Then I’ll stop asking afterwards.”

  The silence was endless before she finally spoke again. “Maybe someday soon,” Lucy said quietly. “But not today. I’m sorry, Dan.”

  He nodded his understanding. The answer wasn’t what he’d wanted, but it was better than an outright no. “I get that. I know Dominic really took a toll on you before you came to us,” he murmured.

  Something like anger flared in her eyes. “That’s putting it lightly.”

  Dan chewed a bite of food slowly, not sure how far to take this line of questioning. She seemed more open to talking about her brother than shifting, so he’d give it a shot. Maybe she just needed a bit more warming up to him before she talked about her bear again.

  “Did he
ever hurt you, Lucy,” he asked as memories of Dominic’s wicked punch echoed in his mind like a truck. “Physically, I mean.” A hint of heat ignited in his chest, anger beginning to form at the very thought. If Dominic dared to put a hand on her, Dan wouldn’t hold back. He didn’t care whose brother Dominic was.

  She didn’t speak at first, hesitation pulling at the corners of her mouth. “Not really,” she replied, softly. “Verbally and maybe psychologically, yes, but he only threatened to hurt me physically.” She looked away. “I mean, he’s put his hands on me, like that night in the alley when you saw him snatch me up by the arm, but nothing as brutal as what he did to you. Though if you hadn’t come along when you had, I’m not sure how things would have played out.”

  Rage flooded Dan’s veins as she spoke, swamping him from the outside in. His bear stood to attention, ready to take on anyone and anything to protect Lucy from harm. He wanted to let the bear tear from his skin and charge directly into Lucas’s territory to rip Dominic apart.

  Something must’ve shown on his face, Lucy suddenly giving him a stern glare. “Look, don’t go doing anything stupid,” she warned. “I appreciate that you’re willing to help me, and I like that you care, but we’ve already discovered that you can’t take my brother on alone. If we have even the slightest chance of besting this pack now, we’ll need to work together.”

  Dan knew it was true, but logic was hard to come by when his bear was roaring for blood inside of him. He finally managed to calm himself by reminding the bear that this savage behavior was precisely the reason why Lucy wouldn’t change now. The bear begrudgingly sat down. “I don’t like it,” he spoke, voice still hard from his receding rage.

  “As you’ve said before,” she replied, voice dry. “I don’t like it either, but this is how it has to be for now.” He could see some sort of emotion warring in her eyes as she chewed the inside of her cheek.

  Realizing that Lucy had a lot she needed to work through on her own, Dan finally settled his standoffish behavior. She needed better than that right now. “Listen,” he said, softly. “Why don’t we talk about something else for a while?” He reached across the table and held out his hand. After a moment of hesitation, she took it. “I know there’s a lot of change and new developments going on in your life right now. I can’t imagine how fast your mind must be moving to process it all, so I’ll try not to add any more complications, okay? Not until you’re ready.”

  Her eyes widened slightly. “Really?” he hadn’t noticed how much of a strain he’d been putting on her until that moment when he saw the hope in her eyes. He mentally kicked himself for being so pushy.

  “Of course,” he said with a decisive nod. Shifting and understanding her terrible family life could wait until she trusted him fully to keep her safe and make her feel whole. “I don’t want you to think I don’t respect you. I overstepped my boundaries by asking about personal matters you didn’t want to talk about.” He smiled. “If you ever want to speak about anything like that, I’m here. I’ll just need for you to start the conversation if that time ever comes.”

  Finally, Lucy smiled. “Thanks, Dan. It’s nice to know that someone is there for me every once in a while.”

  Dan chuckled. “I’ll be there for you as long as you need me to be. Even if that means forever.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Quite a few days had passed since Lucy and Dan’s pizza dinner, and she felt like it was the beginning of her journey to truly become a part of this pack. She and Dan spent much more time together, talking about whatever they felt like, and when conversation strayed too close to the things that made her the most uncomfortable, Dan stayed true to his word and steered the topic away once more.

  The office was coming along nicely, and stripping off the paint and switching décor had become something that Lucy quite enjoyed. Jo suggested that once the house for Tom and Savannah was finished, maybe they could lend a hand in decorating their walls as well. Lucy rather liked that idea. She might even make a habit of this newfound hobby of hers, once all of the pack drama was over.

  Life in the cabin couldn’t have been better, all things considered. Nick was the face of kindness; he offered her anything she needed and never made her feel like she was unwanted. She imagined that it wouldn’t be hard to call this man her mate, but she quickly discounted the notion. And Jo was always a joy to be around. She’d fallen into somewhat of a routine with Jo in the mornings, making coffee and setting the table while Jo whipped up breakfast, or cleaning up and tidying selves while Jo ran to the store to restock. They never made her feel like a third wheel, always allowing in the conversation if she was in the same room as them. And what’s more, they never seemed to care about her unwillingness to shift. Maybe it was the unconventional nature of their relationship that made them so open. Lucy appreciated them all the more for it.

  Still, she couldn’t help but think that it would be nice to have a place of her own, someday. Even if she stayed, she needed to start rebuilding her life. She couldn’t do that with only a small room to call her own.

  Her mind wandered idly to the bed that would be empty once Tom and Savannah’s home was finished. Maybe her new life had some room for Dan as well? Her cheeks flushed at the thought. She couldn’t imagine taking that vacant room, living so close to Dan without things spiraling out of control way faster than either of them could handle.

  But maybe a little less control was a good thing.

  “Lucy?” Dan called, walking over to where she was daydreaming. She tried to hide her flush, but knew she wouldn’t be able to in time. His face showed mild confusion before breaking out into a huge grin. “Thinking of me again, I see.”

  She groaned quietly. “Hi, Dan,” she replied, feigning casualness. It wasn’t all that convincing, Dan’s grin only grew bigger.

  He leaned forward, the scruff of his chin stubble tickling her cheek as he kissed it. Against her will, a shot of desire curled dangerously in her belly. “It’s not a bad thing to want me, you know,” he growled lowly in her ear.

  “I know, I know,” she admitted as he pulled away. “It’s just… we’re at work, so…” Her words trailed off as something nefarious flashed in Dan’s eyes. It made her feel warm, happy, and more than a little bit aroused. He’d been having more and more of an effect on her as the days wallowed on, and she was excited to see how much these feelings grew as time passed. Dan Hart was clumsy, goofy, and dense at times, but then he had these moments were he oozed pure appeal. She couldn’t get enough of him.

  Her bear settled contentedly within her, as if everything was right with the world. It made Lucy frown.

  It wasn’t often that her bear didn’t protest against her. Though she’d gotten really good at keeping it from dominating her life, there was always just a little bit of resistance. Now? Nothing. It was completely silent, and when she and Dan touched, it almost seemed to purr.

  “Is something wrong?” Dan asked, his face a mask of concern.

  She shook her head, taking another step away. “No, I…” she began, letting her voice trail off when she couldn’t find the proper words to explain how she felt. She thought of asking him if his bear was acting strange, too, but anything after would veer the conversation into territory that she wasn’t okay with talking about. It didn’t seem fair to Dan to bring it up, only to shut him down once more, so she just stayed quiet.

  “Well,” Dan segued, smiling even though his eyes still showed concern, “Got any plans for tonight?”

  Thankful for the change in conversation, Lucy shook her head.

  Dan grinned. “Great!” he said. “There’s this place I want to show you. I found it back when I was on patrol a few days ago. It’s a bit far for a walk, but I think it’s worth it.” Her brow furrowed, hoping that this long walk wasn’t an attempt to egg her into shifting.

  “Or we can drive,” Dan continued, noticing the change in her expression. “Your call.”

  Immediate guilt coursed through her and she mentally ch
astised herself for doubting him. “No, walking’s fine. I need to get out more and enjoy these warm days while I can,” she replied with a rueful smile.

  He gave her a playful nudge with a small smile. “No need to look so guilty, Doll. I forgive you.” He winked and it made Lucy feel even more foolish. Now she was the one who’d become easy to read.

  “I’ll bring dinner and Nick’s lent us his truck for the night if you change your mind. See you after work.” He gave her another quick kiss, this time on the lips, before setting out.

  “Bye,” Lucy called softly, her voice hoarse with desire as she watched him walk away towards his mechanic duties. He always knew how to make her feel better, even when she didn’t deserve it. She appreciated that most about him.

  Jo walked in with a few more renovation supplies, flashing Lucy a quick smile. “Everything okay?”

  Lucy nodded, looking back to a pile of documents she’d offered to sort for Savannah while she helped Tom with their house. “Fine. Dan and I were just arranging something for dinner a little later.”

  “Ah.” Jo didn’t say anything more, but the knowing look on her face was all Lucy needed to see. She lifted one suspicious eyebrow at the human.

  Jo looked back innocently. “What?” she asked, spreading her hands.

  “I know you’re secretly ecstatic that Dan and I are spending so much time together,” Lucy replied. “He’s a friendly guy, who wouldn’t want to be around him?”

  Jo shook her head. “Whatever this is between you two, it’s not friendship,” she said with a smirk. “We’re not blind, you know.”

  Lucy sighed deeply. “I’m know, I know. I like him too. Like, a lot.” It’s not that she was trying to keep their relationship a secret, but rather she didn’t want to put any labels to anything until she was sure this was a place she could call home.

  “So why the big sigh?” Jo asked, her trademark expression of concern already appearing on her face.