The Daddy Salute

by Maureen Child

  And with one more slow, languid stroke of his tongue, Brian sent her flying over that edge, with skyrockets bursting behind her closed eyelids.

  Brian watched as the passion claimed her. He filled his heart and mind with the soft sounds of her cries, with the reflexive jerk of her body in his hands. And as the last tremor slowly eased through her, he set her down gently onto the couch. Quickly he tore off his clothes and lay down over her before sliding his body into hers.

  Her eyes flew open and she gazed up at him, wonderstruck. An instant later she looped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. He felt her stocking-clad legs come around his hips, and the cool, slick sensation sent shock waves pulsing through him. It had taken every ounce of his self-control to contain his own needs while servicing hers. And now that he was a part of her again, his own release was thrumming in his ears. This would be fast, he knew. Hard and fast and wickedly welcome.

  He moved within her, advancing, retreating. His gaze locked with hers, and he looked deeply into the warm chocolate eyes that seemed to hold all the secrets of the world. How could he not have seen it before this? How could he have pretended, even to himself, that what they had was temporary? A fleeting thing? This was deep and real and so damned good it terrified the hell out of him.

  For the first—and last—time in his life, Brian Haley was in love. The word ricocheted off the walls of his mind, letting him know that sooner or later he would have to deal with this discovery. But not now, he told himself, and that was the last coherent thought he had before his body erupted and he poured his heart, his soul, his everything, into her warmth.

  What felt like an eternity later Brian reluctantly eased himself away from Kathy only long enough to roll onto his side and pull her closely to him. Then, lying together, her back to his front, they watched the moonlit shadows.

  She shivered and he held her more closely. “Cold?” he asked in a whisper of sound.

  Kathy sighed and shook her head, pillowed on his arm. “In a way, I don’t think I’ll ever be cold again.”

  “I know just how you feel,” he said, his breath ruffling her hair.

  “I don’t know if you can,” she said, half turning in his arms to look up at him.

  Brian studied her features, noted the troubled gleam in her eyes and felt his heart catch at the sight. “We’re not talking about being cold, are we?”

  “Not entirely,” she murmured.

  “Is there a problem?” he asked, hoping there was a dragon somewhere he could slay for her. He ached to see worry on her face so soon after what could only be described as a miraculous joining.

  She ran the flat of her hand across his chest and he felt her touch like a fiery brand. Amazing. Already his body was up and raring to go again. But he forced his desire back under control when she started talking.

  “I never expected to find…” She paused as if looking for just the right word. Then she sighed, met his gaze and said simply, “You.”

  And she didn’t look real happy about having found him, either, he thought, but he didn’t say.

  “What we have together,” she continued, with a sad, confused expression coloring her features, “is special, but scary, too.”

  Scary? Hell, it was downright terrifying. And brother, it took some doing for a marine to admit to being scared.

  “Believe me, honey,” he said, “I do know what you’re feeling.”

  “Maybe on some level,” she agreed. “But, Brian…” She stopped, then started again. “Did you say your mom still lives in the neighborhood where you grew up?”

  Okay, now he was the confused party here. “Yeah, but—”

  “And your folks, they were happy?” she asked. “I mean, in their marriage?”

  He nodded. “They had fights like everyone else, but yeah. They were happy. Still would be if my dad hadn’t died a few years ago.”

  She nodded and idly stroked his chest again. If she knew what her touch did to him, she would stop if she expected conversation. Except there was something about her now that seemed so haunted, so sad, it made Brian forget about everything but the need to comfort her somehow.

  “What is it?” he asked, and stroked one hand along her spine.

  Instead of answering his question, she asked one of her own. “You probably figured on getting married one day, right?”

  He’d never really given it much thought, until recently, and he knew that wasn’t the right thing to say at the moment, so he said only, “I suppose so.”

  “Well, I never did,” she said. Staring up into his eyes, Kathy told him about her mother, Spring. About how Kathy had grown up knowing that marriages didn’t last. That men left and love disappeared.

  His blue eyes stared deeply into hers as she tried to make him see how confused she was about this thing they’d found together. And when she’d finished telling her story, Kathy said, “I…care for you, Brian. More than anyone I’ve ever known.”

  He squeezed her briefly, and she took some small comfort in the strength of his embrace.

  “But I don’t know what to do about this situation.”

  Brian shifted one hand to cup her cheek, his thumb stroking along the line of her cheekbone. She turned her face into his palm, absorbing the warmth of him and claiming it.

  “Believe it or not,” he said, a small smile touching one corner of his mouth, “I don’t know what to do, either. About you and me. About Maegan.”

  Kathy blinked and looked up at him. Maegan? She could understand feeling strange about their relationship, but not this. How could he be confused about his daughter? What was there to decide? He loved the baby. She knew he did. She’d seen him with the little girl who so clearly had claimed his heart. Maegan was a part of his life now. Surely, she thought, he couldn’t turn his back on a helpless child?

  “What do you mean you’re confused about Maegan?” she asked, her own problems forgotten for the moment.

  He must have noticed a fighting spark in her eyes because he smiled briefly. “Don’t hit me, champ,” he said. “This isn’t about wanting to keep her with me. Of course I’m keeping her. I love her.”

  He said the words so simply, Kathy was convinced. But if he wasn’t worried about that, then what?

  Brian reached up and scraped one hand along the top of his head. Staring at the ceiling, he said softly, “You’re not the only one whose life has had some major changes lately.”

  “True,” she said, “but I still don’t understand.”

  “Deployment.”

  Kathy knew that word as well as anyone else who lived in a military town would. Marines were sent all over the world for six months at a time or longer, leaving their families behind to fend for themselves. Deployment.

  She hadn’t even considered it before this, and now, the very idea of him being gone for six long months was enough to make her want to cling to him tightly.

  Not to mention the fact that when he next left, Maegan would be alone.

  He glanced at her and frowned. “What do I do about Maegan when I ship out?”

  She didn’t know what to say. Her first impulse of course, was to shout, “Leave her with me.” But she didn’t have the right. They weren’t married. Heck, she wasn’t sure what they were.

  “I could leave her with my mother or one of my sisters,” he continued, and a part of Kathy cringed away from the thought of not only losing Brian, but Maegan, for months on end.

  “But if I did, I’d have to sign over guardianship to them,” he continued, almost to himself. “The military won’t leave a child behind who’s unprotected legally. And there’s the whole thing about handing her over to people who would only be strangers to her. Should I really upset her whole world again?”

  The tension in his voice reached her, and she realized that as confused as she was, his problems were far greater. “Could you choose to not be deployed?”

  He laughed shortly and shook his head. “Nope. Oh, there are battalions that don’t usually deploy. But ever
y marine, from the rawest recruit to the most desk-bound general must be able to deploy at a moment’s notice. If you can’t deploy, you can’t be a marine.”

  “Surely they would make an exception in an emergency,” she said.

  Brian snorted and shook his head. “No exceptions. I know a first lieutenant whose wife died. He had no one to leave his kids with when he deployed, so he had to resign.” He paused and added, “We all know the rules. No exceptions.”

  Kathy heard the grim tone of his voice and knew instinctively what leaving the corps would mean to him.

  “Being a marine is who I am,” Brian said, unknowingly reinforcing her thoughts. “It’s all I’ve ever wanted to be. Don’t know what I’d do as a civilian.”

  Her mind racing, Kathy tried to find an answer to the problem, but the only one she could come up with was for Brian to get married so Maegan would be taken care of. But the thought of marrying him herself was frightening, and the idea of someone else marrying him was unacceptable, so she didn’t have a clue what to say.

  Finally she asked, almost afraid of the answer, “When do you deploy again?”

  “That’s the one bright spot in all this,” he told her with a sigh. “Not for another six months, so at least I have time to come up with something brilliant.”

  Not much time, though, she thought, knowing that the next six months would fly by. And as she tried to imagine her world without Brian and Maegan Haley in it, Kathy fell into a restless sleep. Not even the warm strength of Brian’s arms wrapped around her kept the aching loneliness of her dreams at bay.

  The next morning found Brian Haley, gunnery sergeant, kneeling in the sand beside a laughing little girl in pink overalls as she waited impatiently for him to make the park swing move.

  “Now, darlin’,” he said, his big, suddenly clumsy fingers trying to fix the shoulder strap of her ruffled bib overalls, “if you don’t sit still, we’ll never get this done.”

  It would have been easier on both of them, he thought, if Kathy had come with them. But she’d opted to stay at home and catch up on the work she hadn’t been getting done. At least, that’s what she’d said when he’d invited her along. But he had the feeling there was more to it than that. Brian frowned slightly as he remembered the look on her face when she woke up only a couple of hours ago.

  They’d spent the night on his sofa wrapped in each other’s arms, and if her haunted eyes were any indication, she’d gotten as little sleep as he had.

  Tormented with the thought of deploying and leaving not only his daughter but Kathy behind, Brian had slept fitfully, plagued by dream images of himself, alone and miserable.

  He wondered if Kathy had been feeling the same things.

  Maegan kicked her little legs, landing a lucky blow to his knee. He rubbed the spot and laughed shortly, pushing his other problems aside. “Okay, okay, I get the message. Less thinking, more playing.”

  The baby giggled, and he silently wondered at the miracle of it all. This tiny person had been born into the world because he’d been careless. And now he couldn’t help but think it hadn’t been carelessness at all, but Fate, with a capital F. Brian couldn’t imagine not having Maegan in his life. Any more than he could stomach the thought of being without Kathy.

  At that he caught himself and returned his attentions to his daughter. For the moment he would concentrate on Maegan and leave the rest of the confusion aside for a bit. Maybe by not thinking about it, a solution would come to him.

  And maybe Kathy just needed a little time for some thinking herself.

  After strapping Maegan in, Brian stepped around behind his daughter and gave her well-padded bottom a small push. Instantly that rush of giggles exploded from her belly and rose up in the clear air to settle over him like a blessing.

  Again and again he pushed her, barely sending the swing moving at all, but it was enough to please Maegan. Brian scanned the rest of the playground, noting the moms, dads and kids sprinkled across the sandy spot in the middle of Bayside Park. Happy squeals and the occasional cry sounded out as children fought over the log castle and the brightly painted ponies on stiff springs. A soft breeze dusted across the open spaces and carried the scent of the nearby ocean.

  It was a great day that would have been perfect if Kathy had been with them. With her, the three of them would have seemed like just another happy family, like the others here at the park.

  “Bri?”

  A too familiar voice shattered the pleasant imagery in his mind and Brian turned slowly around to face the woman speaking to him.

  “Bri!” She said again and added, “It is you!”

  Dana, long, blond hair in a ponytail, makeup perfect and dressed in a sports bra and running shorts tiny enough to make any red-blooded man whimper for mercy, stood staring at him as if she’d seen a ghost.

  He hadn’t seen her since the night he’d left her place before dinner—or anything else—could happen.

  “Hi,” Brian said, and congratulated himself silently on his eloquence.

  “You’ve been bad,” Dana said with a slow shake of her head. “You never called to apologize for leaving me so abruptly.”

  He shrugged and mentally noted that her blue eyes looked just a little cold and hard around the edges. Had they always been like that? “I figured you weren’t speaking to me.”

  “Well.” She turned on the pout he would always associate with her, and he wondered why it didn’t have the same appeal anymore. “I was upset, but I’ll forgive you.”

  She took a step closer, and Brian’s hand curled around the swing’s chains, bringing Maegan’s ride to a sudden halt.

  In response the little girl let loose a disgruntled screech.

  Dana shot the child an annoyed look before turning her gaze back to Brian. “What on earth are you doing at the park?”

  He’d never thought of Dana as a rocket scientist or anything, but surely even she could see he was pushing a child in a swing. “Entertaining Maegan.”

  She looked at the baby again and took a small instinctive step backward. “Baby-sitting? You?”

  The complete disbelief in her voice irritated him. All right, so he wouldn’t have believed it himself a month ago, but people could change, couldn’t they?

  “I’m not baby-sitting,” he said tightly.

  “Then what…?”

  He glanced down at the baby to see a scowl on her face that was so much like his own he chuckled before looking back at the woman he’d once dated. “This is my daughter, Maegan. Maegan, this is Dana.”

  The two females looked at each other with equal measures of dislike. But Dana broke free first to stare at Brian. “Your daughter?”

  “Yeah.”

  “But you didn’t tell me you had a…a…”

  “Baby?” He finished the sentence for her. “I didn’t know myself until a couple of weeks ago.”

  Dana all but shivered. Still backing up as if she thought parenthood might be contagious, she started running in place. “Look, it was, uh, nice to see you again,” she said lamely, although her expression said it had been anything but. Then she glanced at her watch. “Wow. Look at the time. I’ve got to run. See you sometime,” she said, and lifted one hand as she took off across the park at a dead sprint.

  Brian stared after her for a long minute. Dana hadn’t been able to get away fast enough. And the look on her face when she saw Maegan. How could she not have been drawn in by such a pretty baby? He shook his head and wondered why he’d never noticed that Dana and the other women he’d dated were such shallow people.

  Then a sobering thought hit him with a solid blow. Had he been as self-serving and self-involved as the women in his life? Glancing down at the baby daughter who had changed his world and his life so completely, Brian felt a sudden rush of gratitude for whatever forces had brought her to him. Since Maegan, he had found not only a deep, abiding love for his child, but he’d found something else, as well.

  Something that he hadn’t even realized he’
d been missing. A mental image of Kathy Tate rose up in his mind. Quickly he compared the warm, loving, real woman he’d come to care for so deeply to Dana and knew there was no contest.

  Maegan began fussing again, so Brian gave her swing a little push as he continued to think about his future. Their future. He was more certain now than ever before that he wanted Kathy Tate in his life. Not just because she was a wonderful mother to his daughter.

  But because he couldn’t imagine waking up in the morning and not seeing her face.

  Now all he had to do was find a way to convince Kathy that they belonged together. Forever.

  Eleven

  By the time Brian and Maegan came home from the park, Kathy had walked at least a hundred miles, pacing off the steps in the small confines of her apartment. She’d tried to work. Had promised Tina she would finish the stack of résumés in time to be delivered tomorrow.

  But the reality of the situation was she hadn’t been able to think of anything but Brian. And Maegan. And the prospect of losing the two people who had come to mean so much to her. She’d been thinking all morning, racking her brain in an effort to find a solution to all of their problems.

  And as she listened to the familiar sounds of Brian’s footsteps in the hallway, she realized that she did have the answer. If she had the nerve to go through with it, and if Brian would agree.

  Hurriedly crossing the room, she threw open her door just as Brian unlocked his. He turned to look at her, a soft smile on his face. Maegan, her hair full of sand, her overalls damp, reached out two chubby arms toward her, and Kathy swallowed hard. This had to work, she told herself. For all their sakes, this had to work.

  “Hi,” Brian said. “We missed you at the park.”

  Kathy smiled and stepped forward to pluck Maegan from his grasp. Enjoying the feel of two small hands patting her cheeks, she said, “I missed you guys, too.”