My heart is pounding in my ears. I choose him. I always have.
Cassian thrusts his hips. Once. Twice. A third time before ripping me off his cock in one brutal motion. Air floods into my lungs in a choking gasp, color and light and flavor all at once. And his face is there, leaning close to mine, mouth to my ear. “Whose are you, Arielle?”
“Yours,” I gasp.
“That’s right. And if you ever forget that, I’ll have no problem reminding you.” His power floods my senses, in that same bright way that he did when I was bound for him. So there’s nothing in the world but the two of us and pure, smoky pleasure surrounding us. We could be in the middle of a burning building, and I wouldn’t know. Or care.
I heave in another breath, steadying myself. Cassian smirks down at me. “Breathe now, Ari.”
I shiver, the words followed with a line of power that strokes the length of my body and ends at my clit, circling and teasing as if it were his fingers. There’s no need to ask why, but I do it anyway. My heart is pounding. “Why?”
He tugs my head back so my neck is arched, our eyes locked. “Because you won’t breathe again until I fill that mouth of yours.” He fits the head of his cock against my lips. “I want to watch you taste me. Swallow me. Savor me.”
Through the bond stretching between us, I feel the desire he spoke into existence. Sharp and shining like a beacon. I’m sure that through the same bond he can feel how much I want that too. I shudder again and haul in one final breath.
Cassian fucks my mouth. He doesn’t hold back this time, sinking between my lips and thrusting deep. He fills my mouth over and over again, and I watch him as he lets his eyes close, taking what he needs from me. It’s everything.
And then he takes my throat again, pushing as far as he can go, changing his rhythm to drive deep and fast. He pulls back slowly before crashing back in, and I lose track of the times he drives himself to the hilt. I don’t breathe—I can’t—falling into that place of arousal and acceptance and pleasure.
I have no more breath to give, and Cassian’s pace suddenly changes. Goes erratic and frenzied, fucking fast and hard before he shouts, pulling back so he’s barely in my mouth. I taste him then, climax flooding across my tongue, that same smoky taste distilled. Along with it, a wave of power that shows me his pleasure. Lets me feel the storm of it crashing over him. It’s almost enough to send me over my own edge.
His cock jerks between my lips, wave after wave of him filling me. He could have been deep enough to make me take it. Just let it spill down my throat. Instead it’s one final choice. One final surrender.
“Swallow,” he says roughly, his hands shaking my head just a little to remind me of the hold he has on me. And I do. I take him down, relishing the feeling of satisfaction from him when I do. And then I breathe.
Cassian has me up off of my knees in a second and in his arms. We’re against the wall and he’s pushing inside me with that same merciless strength. He hasn’t softened at all, and I moan at the sudden invasion. I’m already so close that I fall over the edge into an orgasm, pussy crushing down on his cock. I need to feel his skin on mine. That closeness that we had at the altar, but only for us. No audience.
Pleasure wracks me, and I struggle to make my fingers work. I yank his shirt up, helping him to get his arms through it as he balances me against the wall with only his cock holding me in place. And as soon as his shirt is tossed aside he gives me what I need, pressing his chest into mine.
“If we had known—”
Cassian nearly snarls. “If I had known, you would have been chained to my bed after the first time we fucked so that no one else could touch you.”
My pussy clenches in response, and I lose my breath all over again when he kisses me. He doesn’t care that my mouth still tastes like his cock, I can feel through the soul bond that he needs his mouth on mine.
He grabs my wrists and pins them to the wall, thrusting up into me while I wrap my legs around his hips. All the tension and I’ve had the past week explodes. Every ounce of sex-soaked desire. Every panting dream and orgasm that made me crave to be filled. I throw it all to the wind and let him fuck me. Me. No walls. No masks. Just me.
Another orgasm crashes over the last one. I let it pass through, basking in the feeling. Never in my life have I been able to just let pleasure happen without an agenda. Not until this assignment, and Cassian.
It’s like he has a map to my body and knows exactly where to thrust so that I see stars. But with the thread weaving together, I suppose that he does. I love this, and I love him. On some level I always have. But this is not the time to tell him that. Love is complicated for people like us, and it will take time for either of us to admit it.
I hope he feels it though.
If I could let go this much with the angels, I could get close enough to do what I came for. I remember what he said before he shoved me through the portal. I will do what I can. When I recover enough from my orgasm to speak, I gasp out the words. “I need your help, Cassian.”
He grins. “I thought that’s what I was doing.”
“With the assignment.”
Cassian slows his movement to almost nothing, just the smallest twitch of his hips to remind me how he has me pinned. “How?”
“I told you that they don’t trust me. Or at least Solomon doesn’t. I want to be able to prove to him that I’m what I say I am. But I can’t let him do that. If he looks too closely, you’ll know what he’ll find.” Infernal power shoved into the core of me by Arad. Or rather, woken up. I am a vessel of darkness. It has always lived in me. Feeding on my life force and giving me the ability to things I would never be able to otherwise. I’ve used it for countless things. Changing my appearance and disguise. Escape. Torture. Battle.
I can’t do any of those things here or be discovered.
“I need you to bind my power.”
He stares at me for a moment. Almost through me. There’s a tug on the chain connected to my heart. He’s looking to see why I need him to do that, and I blush, knowing what he sees there. The arousal I feel for the angels. The attraction and the safety. And the fact that I want them to fuck me the way that he is now. For entirely different reasons. Even while I’m stuffed full of him.
But I need to do this. It’s the only way. Otherwise they’ll let me go. Or worse. “It’s either this, or send another demon after me to convince Solomon that I’m telling the truth. Telem would enjoy that.”
“I’m sure he would,” he says. “But Telem and I are going to have a little...discussion...about how he treats the Heir of Tartarus.”
“You can’t fight all my battles, Cassian.”
He kisses me, softer than he ever has. “Of course I can. Why do you think we’re bonded in the first place? Arad didn’t have you fucked on an altar out of the kindness of his heart.”
I know that he’s using that language to shock me. But I can no longer be shocked by any actions my father takes. “If you’re the one that fights all my battles,” I say, squeezing down on his shaft while I speak, “No one will think I can hold my own.”
“Your father hasn’t fought his own battles for a century. Do people underestimate him because you are the one dispatched for punishment? Or me? Or Nissa? Or Telem?” I take his point. “I will be your dark shadow, Ari. I know you can hold your own. I trained you to. But you’re mine, and I need to make sure that Telem understands that.”
I nod. “Okay.”
Cassian pulls out of me and slams in hard. “I’ll bind your power, but it won’t be pleasant.”
“It doesn’t matter, it has to be done.”
He releases one of my wrists and places that hand between us, low on my stomach. Low, smoking power fills my body. While Kai’s smoke is mist and light and color, Cassian’s has always been dark. Thick and opaque, and no less powerful. It wraps around that crimson spark and tries to smother it. Streaks of acid light me up from within. The power buried in me fights him at every turn, unwilling to be surren
dered to anything.
I can’t scream. I won’t. Screaming will bring other angels in the palace to this room. I bite down on my lip hard enough to bleed, enduring this pain. Cassian’s power doesn’t help this time. He’s not trying to arouse me, all of his focus into containing this ancient thing living inside me. My back arches and my limbs fight, straining against Cassian’s energy hard enough that I think my bones might snap.
But I feel it when it happens. A sphere seals over the spark, and it is gone. Hidden. Even I can’t feel it, though I can feel the swirling edges of the shield he’s placed around it. Barely there and fuzzy, like a smudge on a pane of glass that you can’t quite get clean. When I reach for the power like I always have, there’s nothing. Just an absence. No pain, no breaking bones or nausea. Just...nothing. Hollow.
It’s glorious relief.
“Thank you.”
He nods once.
“Will they be able to see what you’ve done?”
“No. If they see anything at all, it will seem like an echo of any time you spent in Tartarus, just like you told them that you did. But if you reach for your power, the seal will break.”
That’s perfect.
Now I can do this. Come back to him and take my place where I belong.
I ignore the little whisper that tells me that I’m lying to myself and to him. Because I don’t have a choice. There is no other option. I will be Queen of the Underworld, and he will be my Shadow King.
“Why are you really here, Cassian?”
“To see you.”
I roll my eyes. “You didn’t risk discovery by the angels just to fuck me.”
“The king is impatient.”
“Tell me something new.”
Cassian’s expression is somewhere between a smirk and a glare. “I’ve been instructed to tell you that if you haven’t completed your assignment in four days, I will be dispatched to complete it for you.”
“Three days is incredibly specific.”
“Yes,” he says. “It is.”
I stare at him, waiting for him to tell me why, but he doesn’t. “Well?”
One shake of his head. “I was planning on telling you. But given that I just bound your power, it’s better that you don’t know. Less risk.”
I grit my teeth. “What did I just say about fighting my battles?”
“Killing the fucking angels is your battle, Arielle. Do it. The other battle is mine,” he says. “And I’m not going to risk the outcome because you’re about to have an archangel digging around in your head.”
The fact that I can’t argue with him is frustrating, but he’s right. “Now, for unfinished business,” he says.
Cassian thrusts into me so hard that I gasp, unleashing himself all at once. That hand he used to bind my power slides power, teasing me with clever fingers until I’m gasping and on the edge again. He keeps me there, moaning into his neck as he fucks himself to orgasm. He grinds into me, letting that heat and secondary pleasure of his release wash over me in a wave.
I’m so close to falling into it with him, and then he stops.
He pulls his cock from me and sets me on my feet, making sure I’m steady before releasing me.
The orgasm collapses around me, and I’m left gaping after him as he puts his shirt on and tucks himself back into his pants, skin still wet from being inside me. “Cassian, what the fuck.”
Smirking, he returns to me. “Guess you’ll have to find someone to finish you off.”
“I could just do that myself.”
He’s still smiling, the bastard. “That would be a waste of all that carnal energy. I can almost taste it coming off of you.” A hand at my throat pins me to the wall again before he kisses me, tongue invading my mouth with purpose. “Who do you belong to?”
The question makes me melt in a way that words shouldn’t. “I belong to you.”
He strides across the room without looking back, wings appearing out of nothing. He’s stepping onto the railing when I call after him. “Who do you belong to, Cassian?”
He turns, and his face is serious. Just the faintest trace of a smile at the corner of his lips. “I’ve only ever belonged to you, Ari.”
And then he falls, disappearing into the open air. Swooping up and away a second later back to wherever he appeared from, and I’m left staring after him, heart in my throat. I manage to grab my dress off the floor and put it back on before collapsing onto the bed. Everything is still on edge, and I resist the urge to make myself come. I’m so close I think breath across my clit might get me there. But I clench my hands into fists and make myself blank.
Cassian gave me a gift. I am free to let them see who I am. Free of the danger. I need to use it, before it’s too late. When the High Trinity come back to this palace, I will be ready.
Hopefully, so will they.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
_______
I feel when they’re back. The energy of the palace completely changes, and through those not-quite-tangible connections I feel that they’re close. Now that I don’t have to be afraid, I want to see them. I want them to hold me. Everything.
Two days left.
The guards don’t stop me when I try to find them, and I do in the comfortable room where we shared gelato. Their workspace and lounge. Today it doesn’t look like that. The three of them are collapsed on couches and chairs, completely spent. They’re wet from bathing. But more than that, they look spent in a way that I’ve never seen. Like the shimmer they have has dimmed, just a little. I run to Kai first, nearly tackling him where he’s lying on the couch, and he catches me, easing me down onto his chest and kissing me. But he doesn’t change it. Doesn’t turn it into the sultry touches that he doesn’t seem to be able to resist. “I missed you.” I rest my head on his chest and enjoy the feeling of his hand down my spine.
Atlas sits heavily on the end of the couch just beyond Kai’s feet, and I go to him. I climb into his lap just like I did on the terrace and I kiss him senseless. He kisses me back. “I missed you too.”
His smile is tired. “Good.”
“What happened?”
“Hell happened,” Kai says, eyes closed, and chuckling at his own joke.
Atlas’s hands roam over my body absently. “It was...like they’re just throwing themselves at nothing. One stupid and misguided attack after another. Never enough to make a difference except for exhaustion. We know they have a massive force gathered somewhere, we just don’t know where.”
“Atlas.” The warning tone comes from Solomon. “Don’t.”
I look over at the golden angel. He looks just as exhausted as the rest of them. I feel Atlas about to speak, but I press a hand to my chest. This is what I’m here for, and it’s time. I can see the crack in the armor widening. It’s time to break it open.
I stand off of Atlas’s lap, the skirt of my dress falling around my feet, and I walk over to Solomon. This time I don’t feel nervous. I’m safe, and free. He watches me approach, still sprawled in a chair by his usual table. He doesn’t look away and neither do I. When I’m standing in front of him, I reach out and press my palm to his chest. Not hard. Just enough. In that moment, I have to take in a breath and fight emotion springing up because I want him to see me. Just once. And this is the only time that he can. “I know you feel this,” I say.
“Of course I do.” Frustration colors his voice.
“Then...” I swallow, pulling my hand back from him, I close my eyes. “Do you want me?”
The answer takes so long to come that I think it never will. When it goes, it’s gritty. Spoken almost against his will. “Yes.”
There’s deadly silence behind me. Shock and awe that Solomon admitted that. The angel himself almost looks like he’s in pain. “But you don’t trust me.”
“No.” That answer is immediate.
The impulse comes out of nowhere, and I follow my instinct. Maybe driven by Cassian’s visit yesterday, or maybe I can feel more about him that I realize. I sink to my kne
es in front of Solomon and look down at the floor.
Atlas’s voice is shocked behind me. “Arielle.”
I don’t respond to him. My whole focus is on Solomon. “Take what you need from me then. Look for this twisted betrayal you think they hammered into me. Whatever darkness you think they grew. Maybe you think they fucked it into me. Look for it and kill it if you find it. But you may not take my thoughts or memories. Those are mine.”
Silence hangs in the air, and the rustle of fabric tells me another angel stood up. “You don’t have to do this,” Kai says quietly.
“Get out.” Solomon’s words cut to the bone. “Both of you.”
Neither of them move behind me, and I focus on that spot that I’ve picked out on the carpet below my knees. A little jeweled speck of green. It could be a portrait of the world or nothing at all.
Solomon sighs. “You don’t trust me now either? Arielle spoke her limits. If you think you have to be here for me to respect them, we have deeper problems than this.”
Quiet footsteps followed by the doors shutting. All the angels have passages to their personal quarters connected to this room. But I didn’t see if they used them. I can feel him looking at me, and I look at the little green world on the floor.
Finally, “I scare you.”
I meet his eyes then. “If you scared me then I wouldn’t have offered you what I did.”
“Maybe you should be afraid of me,” he says quietly. “Because there’s something about you that terrifies me. And I don’t scare easily, Arielle. If you want my trust, you’ll give me exactly what you offered.”
“I already said I would.”
“There’s more.”
I raise my eyebrows, asking the question. “Trust requires trust,” he says, standing. “Follow me.”
I do, into the passage that leads into his chambers. This is the first time I’ve been in any of their rooms. It’s a step that no one seemed ready to take. Until now.
“Do you know what my gift is?”
Queen of Darkness (War of Heavenly Fire Book 1) Page 12
