Impossible Choice

by Sybil Bartel

  “You doing okay, girl? Need some water?” Since she hadn’t shown me teeth, I risked petting the top of her head. Her response was to poke me in the stomach with her muzzle.

  “Okay, I get it, no petting.” I dropped my hand and she poked me again. “Fine, have the last word.”

  A minute later we piled into the Cessna. I sat up front and Missy sprawled in the back, lying across the seats. Apparently she wasn’t much of a sightseer. I put on the headset and we taxied out. Roark spoke with the control tower and I tried not to let memories of the last time I was in this plane wash over me.

  Roark’s voice came through the headset. “You want the touchdown where I dropped you to meet Neil or where I picked you up later that night?”

  “Where you dropped us.” I watched the shades of aqua pass below us and lost the battle to suppress the memories. Just like last time, we flew above the ocean like a bird. Except this time I wasn’t with Buck and Talon and the cargo hold wasn’t full of dive equipment and guns. And I didn’t have Buck’s voice coming through the headset to calm my nerves. I rubbed a hand over the ache in my chest.

  For the next ten minutes the only sound was the engine. Roark flew smoothly over the water, gliding above the surface before touching down. The plane skimmed across the water and Roark brought her to a stop in the middle of the ocean. You could see the land of Key West on the horizon line but other than that, we were alone. The plane gently rocked with the waves and I reached between my feet for my purse.

  “This good?” Roark asked through the headset.

  “Perfect.” I fished around in my purse and my hand landed on what I needed. I pulled my headset off. “Can I open the door?”

  Roark nodded, then cut the engine.

  Taking a deep breath, I undid the latch then shoved the flimsy door out. The ocean was everywhere. I palmed the hard plastic knowing I couldn’t hold on to this anymore. I looked down and read the name one last time. Then I threw Layna Blair’s driver’s license into the ocean.

  Missy whined.

  I fumbled for my purse and blindly reached back in. I felt for the little velvet box and when I pulled it out, Roark’s hand covered mine.

  “Are you sure you want to do this?”

  Ignoring the thread of doubt, I nodded. “Yes.” There was no turning back, I had to finish this.

  Clutching the box, I looked out at the endless blue swells rocking the plane. The familiar scent that had always meant I was close to home churned my stomach. I wiped a trickle of sweat off my brow and opened the box. The single, brilliant diamond sparkled as if it was perfect but I knew the truth. It was bought for a woman who didn’t exist, then it was abandoned.

  With a shaking hand, I threw the ring into the ocean.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  I sped north on A1A, chasing the falling sun. I’d pulled over twice to vomit. I wanted the feel of Buck’s arms around me so bad, I hurt with yearning, but I forced myself to replay his last words to me. Thank you for last night. Thank you for last night. Thankyouforlastnight.

  I held my stomach, gripped the steering wheel and kept driving. I put the windows down, listened to music too loud and ignored my ringing cell phone. After the tenth call, I turned it off without looking at the display. Only two people knew the number and both would be dead to me after tonight.

  Exhausted but wired on caffeine, I pulled the Tahoe off the road past midnight. Seeing the two Jet Skis at the end of the dock in front of me brought back memories I wanted to forget. I reached between the seats and took a swig from the bottle I’d gotten when I stopped for gas.

  The tequila left a burning trail and almost came up as fast as it went down. I held my hand over my mouth and breathed through my nose. Quick and short, the breaths stopped the churning enough for me to take another swig.

  A slow minute later my limbs relaxed and the tremor in my hands receded enough for me to wrestle the key off my key ring. Psyching myself up, I shoved the key in my pocket, stuffed the bottle in my purse and hopped out of the Tahoe.

  The second my feet hit the ground, a sharp pain flared in my stomach and I doubled over.

  The air in my lungs left with a grunt and for a second, I saw stars. “Goddamn it.” Fucking flu. Shaking my head, I held on to the door and righted myself. The pain passed a few seconds later.

  I walked north until I saw Talon’s house. All the lights were off, and I said a silent prayer of thanks because I’d never planned on knocking. Glancing at the small patch of plants next to the front door, I looked for another option but there wasn’t a doormat. Fuck it. I took the key out and pushed it into the dirt.

  My stomach roiled and a wave of pain made me break out in cold sweat. I held the door frame until it passed but a minute later another one hit. Fearing I was going to hurl again, I staggered out to the beach.

  I dropped to my knees as close to the surf as I dared and dry-heaved. Clutching my stomach, I rolled to my side and hit the sand. Grainy coolness met my cheek and my knees curled up. I pulled my purse under my head and told myself I’d take two minutes then I’d go back to the Tahoe. I’d drive a few miles then crash somewhere, in the back if I had to.

  I stared at the ocean. Time stopped but the waves kept coming. They’d greet the dawn like they greeted the night. I was out of time and I didn’t want to be here when the sun rose.

  I slipped a hand inside my bag but before I could reach my target, my fingers curled around the smooth glass of my old friend. Sitting up, I brushed the sand off my face and arm and settled the tequila between my legs.

  One to go, one to go, I silently chanted.

  I pulled Buck’s ripped letter out of my purse. Then a lighter.

  I knew I shouldn’t, but the moon was just bright enough. Carefully opening the envelope’s two halves, I unfolded the paper and held the two sides together.

  My Layna,

  If you’ve received this letter, I’m sorry. I know this was never what you wanted. I told you once that I wasn’t afraid to die and I meant it. I knew going in what the risks were and I accepted them. I hope you can understand that or maybe even find comfort in it.

  I know you never understood why I helped you that night in front of the church. I knew you were running scared and I knew I was capable of making a difference, but I wasn’t completely honest with you. I didn’t save you that night...you saved me.

  The second my eyes landed on you, something clicked. Like I’d been lost at sea and suddenly there was land. I don’t know if it was about having a purpose beyond the life I’d been living or if it was the beauty of your innocence or maybe I was just where I was supposed to be, but I felt connected to you. So I made you a promise.

  I’m sorry your freedom came like this but I don’t regret one minute. Forgive me for not being there. Live your life.

  Always,

  Buck

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  I opened my eyes.

  Talon was sitting next to me, Buck’s letter in his hand.

  I blinked and tried to swallow down a wave of nausea. “Did you read it?”

  Talon placed the letter on top of my purse. Bare-chested, board shorts, arms resting on his knees, he frowned, then gracefully rose to his feet. “Come inside if you want to talk.”

  I rolled onto my back and stared at the early morning sky. Streaks of sun chased away the night and a sharp pain pinched in my lower stomach. “Damn it.” I clutched my side. Fucking tequila, I didn’t know if I wanted to vomit or sleep for a month.

  I pushed to my feet but then I pitched forward when something that felt like daggers ripped through my guts.

  “Shit.” I grabbed my purse, tossed the letter inside and stumbled across the sand to Talon’s.

  By the time I got to his backyard my stomach was cramping and burning, I was sweating like a pig and ev
ery part of my body had gone on strike. Was this what alcohol poisoning felt like? I tossed the bottle in Talon’s trash and went to his door. I didn’t bother knocking. I barely made it to the guest bathroom before I vomited.

  I could hardly stand to brush my teeth before I slid back to the cold tile floor, sweating. I was leaning against the vanity, clutching my stomach when Talon appeared in the doorway with a bottle of water.

  “Advil?” he asked but then he cocked his head and looked at me funny. In the next instant, he was squatting next to me and reaching for my arm. “What’s going on?” No accent, he held my wrist and looked at his watch. His other hand went to my forehead.

  “I don’t...” But I didn’t get any more words out. I cried out in pain as my stomach cramped and I fell into a fetal position.

  Talon gently pushed me to my back and his voice went all business. “What did you eat? Have you ever had your appendix out?”

  “I had a sandwich yesterday.” Before that, I couldn’t remember. “I have my appendix.” I panted, short and quick, trying to breathe through the stabbing pain.

  His hands moved all over my stomach, then he was pushing on my right side. “Tell me when it hurts.” He pushed deep into my lower stomach on my right. “Are you bleeding? Do you have your period?”

  “No.” I tried to roll back but piercing pain made me cry out.

  “Tell me exactly what it feels like.” Talon felt my forehead again.

  “Cramping, bad, bad cramping, burning, stabbing.” Holy fuck. “It really hurts,” I got out between breaths.

  “Are you late?”

  “No. I need Advil.”

  “I’m not giving it to you.” Talon scooped me up and stood. “Come on, I’m taking you in.”

  “No!” I hated doctors and I hated hospitals more. “I’m fine, put me down.” Jesus, this hurt.

  “Not happening.” Talon walked toward the front door.

  I panicked. “You put me down this instant or I will never speak to you again!”

  Talon paused and looked down at me. A smile that didn’t touch his eyes twisted one half of his mouth and his accent came back. “C’mon, Sugar, can ya humor me? You know I’m trained and I’m not gonna jump at a little case of the flu, but you got me concerned is all. I just wanna make sure your ol’ appendix is in one piece and we’ll be good to go, okay? Can ya trust me on this?”

  Another sharp pain hit and I fought to keep my face blank. “I’m fine, I’m already feeling better. Please, put me down.” I struggled to keep my voice even.

  “You’re burning up and you aren’t tossin’ your cookies from the tequila. I’ve seen you drink way more’n that and never once lose it. C’mon, Sugar, humor me.”

  “I’ve been vomiting since yesterday. It’s just food poisoning or the flu. I’m fine.”

  Talon stilled. “You been sick like this for two days?”

  I covered my eyes with my hand and inhaled. I didn’t have the energy for this. “Please, I’m asking, put me down.”

  Talon didn’t put me down. Instead he walked upstairs and into his bedroom. He gently set me on the bed, then walked out. I sighed in relief and turned to my side. Talon’s bed smelled incredible, just like him, and it almost made me feel a little better. I closed my eyes and thanked small victories. I was just dozing off when the mattress next to me dipped.

  “Drink this.” Talon handed me a glass with ice and an amber liquid in it.

  I sniffed. Ginger ale. “Thanks.” I sipped some and set the glass on the counter.

  “I’m not givin’ it till tomorrow if it gets worse.” Talon briefly put his hand on my forehead.

  I still felt like shit but the cramping was bearable this minute. Hopefully it would pass by tomorrow. “Okay.”

  Talon moved up on the bed and lay down beside me. His warm hand began to rub circles on my back and it felt so good not to be alone, I wanted to cry.

  “I went lookin’ for you yesterday,” he said quietly. “Waited in your driveway for hours.”

  “Why?” I asked but I could guess.

  “Roark called.”

  Of course he did.

  “You wanna tell me what that was all about?”

  Not really. “I wanted to bury my past.” Him included. My emotions unchecked, no room to breathe, yesterday had to happen.

  “Did you?” There was no judgment in his voice.

  If I had the energy, I would’ve smirked. “No.” I was lying on his bed. “Your key is in the front potted plant in the dirt.”

  “I saw.”

  Fucking video cameras. “I forgot about your security system.”

  Talon ignored my comment. “Roark told me you were driving a black Tahoe and that’s what’s parked at my dock so I’m assumin’ the Infiniti’s gone. You threw your ID and the rock in the ocean, and you dumped my key. Whatdaya got left besides the letter?”

  Roark had a big mouth. “Do you think Blaze’ll be mad about the car?” Not that I could do anything about it now.

  “Mad how? About the money?” Talon lifted a shoulder. “Blaze is no pauper, Sugar. He’s taken a few chances and it’s paid off for him, big-time. Long as I’ve known him, if he isn’t shootin’ up bad guys, he’s watching his investment account grow. I tried to get him to take a run at my portfolio but he said he didn’t feel right gamblin’ with someone else’s money. So, the money part? No, I don’t reckon that’s what he’ll be mad about.”

  I didn’t hear anything after he’d said portfolio. I looked over my shoulder at him. “Portfolio?”

  Talon smiled. “Aw, Sugar, I love your innocence. Yeah, portfolio, bank account with a few zeroes that men in suits watch over, hopin’ they can grow those zeroes and take a bigger cut.”

  Okay, this was bizarre. I didn’t need the definition of a portfolio. “You’re rich?” I asked, incredulous.

  He threw his head back and howled with laughter. When he calmed down, he looked at me and stroked my cheek with a sweet smile on his face. “Where do you think all my toys come from? The car, the Jet Skis? This house? A business located on one of the most expensive pieces of real estate in Daytona Beach?” Talon kept looking at me like he was waiting for me to catch on.

  “I have no idea.” I’d never thought about it.

  “God, I love this, Sugar. You’re priceless. You don’t give a shit about money, do you?” His eyes were laced with affection and humor.

  “Not really.” What did you need money for? Food, tequila, wheels? And my fat bank account? Honestly, I wanted to ignore it.

  Mischief sparked in Talon’s eyes. “Let me ask you somethin’—why do you think those women are always hangin’ around the shop?”

  I looked at him like he was crazy. Did he not look in the mirror? “Because you’re hot?”

  Talon fell back laughing his ass off. Tears coming out of his eyes, arms over his head, he laughed harder than I’d ever seen him laugh. “Shit, Sugar, you keep thinkin’ that!”

  I punched him in the arm but then sucked in a breath at the sharp pain in my side. It never occurred to me that the hordes of women who followed Talon around were interested in his money. Talon looked like the quintessential gorgeous surfer. His ultra-laidback attitude belied the image of someone who obsessed over money. “You don’t act like you’re rich.” I snorted.

  Talon grinned at me. “Yeah, well, I’m not.”

  Was he fucking with me? “Then why the hell were you laughing?”

  His smile turned snarky. “Because I can afford to.”

  “Cut the shit, Talon, I don’t give a fuck if you have money!”

  His grin turned megawatt. “I know.”

  I might’ve sneered. I turned my back to him and punched the pillow into submission. I was exhausted and although the cramping had momentarily subsided, I still felt like
I had the flu. I settled in and Talon’s arm snaked around me a second before his body pressed up against my back.

  “You’re funny when you’re mad,” he whispered in my ear.

  “Fuck off.” And back off, because it felt too good having his strength at my back.

  “No way, not till you’re feelin’ better.” His breath tickled my ear.

  “Hmph.” But I was secretly glad he wasn’t going anywhere.

  “Poor little rich girl,” he teased.

  “I’m not the one with a portfolio.” A bank account wasn’t a portfolio and the account wasn’t even mine...yet.

  Talon chuckled. “Says the girl with eighteen million.”

  I didn’t want to talk about this. I didn’t like money I didn’t earn and losing my parents because my father was a thief and my mother was in on it wasn’t a fucking windfall. It was the worst thing that’d ever happened to me. “Do you have money you didn’t earn? No. So don’t fucking judge.”

  Talon rolled to his back. “I got more’n you,” he replied quietly.

  I snorted. “Yeah, right.”

  Talon was quiet.

  I turned my head and Talon looked me with a guarded expression. “You have more than me, as in you have more than a flush bank account or you have more than me as in your flush bank account is larger than my parents’ estate?”

  He stared at me.

  “Talon?”

  “Both.”

  “Well, shit...” I was momentarily speechless. “Who knew?”

  “Who knew,” he repeated.

  “Rich parents?”

  He shook his head once.

  Was I supposed to guess? I waited and when he didn’t say anything, I asked. “Where’d it come from?”

  “Leigh came from money. Only child.” His voice dropped to barely a whisper. “She left me everything.”

  Damn. He did know what it felt like. “Wasn’t worth it, was it?”