A Heart Full of Lies

by Nique Luarks

  Erin pouted as she continued rummaging around the room for her belongings. “I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to spend my Christmas here in California ANYWAYS!” she yelled. “I don’t even know why the fuck I came.” Erin was speaking out of anger. She loved being around Tone, and this trip had only brought them closer.

  Tone jumped up, tossing his phone onto the bed. “Take your ungrateful ass on then, fuckin’ crybaby.” He invaded her personal space as he looked down at her. He hated that he’d went back on his word and allowed Erin to knock him off his square. He didn’t really want her to go, but he’d already told her he didn’t tolerate disrespect from nobody.

  Erin gave him a hurt look. Yea she was packing her things like she was leaving, but she wanted Tone to stop her. “Fuck this.” Her pride wouldn’t let her give in. “You’re so fuckin’ wishy washy Santonio. If you got a fuckin’ issue with me, then let me know what’s up. Quit beating around the damn bush.” She didn’t budge as she looked up at him, challenging him.

  Tone licked his lips. Erin was even finer when she was mad. His baby had heart too. She didn’t back down from nobody, which was one major reason he was attracted to her in the first place. Tone fixed his platinum chain around his neck. “Alright, since you wanna be Billy Bad Ass, who is this nigga you bailed out of jail?”

  Tone watched as her expression changed and it confirmed what he was hoping was just a rumor. Amina had called him a couple days ago telling him Erin bailed her ex out of jail. At first he didn’t believe her, because he knew Amina would do anything to break them up. The only thing that didn’t sit right with him was when Amina said it was TreVell who’d she supposedly bailed out. TreVell was a little petty hustler that would make runs for him from time to time. A week ago he’d gotten a phone call that TreVell’s dumb ass had gotten pulled over for speeding and running through a stop sign, with fifty keys of coke in his trunk.

  Luckily the cops allowed someone to go get his car before it was impounded, so Tone had to have TreVell’s brother Peanut, go and pick up his truck since he had a spare key. Now Peanut was nowhere to be found. Tone balled his fist up and closed his eyes. “You bailed that nigga out of jail?” he asked through gritted teeth.

  Erin rubbed the side of her arm slowly. “Who said I bailed somebody out of jail?” She wasn’t sure what all Tone knew, so there was no way she was going to throw herself completely under the bus.

  Tone punched the wall, putting a hole a little wider than his fist in it. He’d given Erin the benefit of the doubt, hoping she would tell him herself. He’d given her ample amount of time to tell him, so since she hadn’t, he now assumed her and TreVell where still fucking around.

  “Santonio, it’s not even what you think. His mama called me and-“

  Tone cut her off. “I don’t give a fuck about none of that. You fuckin’ this nigga?” He grabbed her by her face looking into her eyes for a hint of dishonesty.

  Erin frowned. “NO! I wouldn’t do you like that.” She cursed herself for not just telling him when she had the chance.

  Tone held onto her face. “Don’t lie to me Erin.”

  Erin tried to ease out of the hold he had on her face, but failed when he squeezed tighter. “Tone, let go of me! I’m not fuckin’ him! His mom asked me if she could hold some money, so I helped her out. I would never do you like that.” She tried pulling his hands off again.

  Tone shook his head at her, pushing her roughly away from him. “Man, you fuckin this nigga.” he scoffed as he reached for his phone. “What the fuck that look like Erin? Muthafuckas telling me my girl bailing niggas out of jail and shit?” When Erin didn’t reply fast enough he yelled at her. “HUH!? How the fuck that make me look?”

  Erin pushed him back. “Don’t put your fuckin’ hands on me! I’m not one of these punk bitches you be fuckin’ with!” She became enraged. “I’m telling the truth, I’m not messing with him! His mom called me. I haven’t even talked to him!” Tears of frustration filled her eyes.

  Tone waved her off. “Yea, them same bitches put a nigga up on game, when your ass is being sneaky. If it wasn’t nothing then you should’ve told me. You weren’t going to say shit about it, so why the fuck would I believe you now?”

  Erin wiped her face. “Fuck you Santonio. You let another bitch pump your stupid ass up. I didn’t tell you, because I knew you would overreact. I’m not a scandalous bitch, I would never fuck you, then go and fuck with somebody else. I CARE about this relationship too much.” She zipped up her luggage and grabbed her phone.

  Tone rubbed his face. Erin was breaking him down. He never wanted to be the reason she cried, ever, but she had him fucked up. “We can catch the next flight back to Missouri, chill out.”

  Erin started pulling her luggage towards the door playing him off. Tone shook his head at how hardheaded she was. He grabbed her arm gently. “Did you hear me?”

  Erin sniffled. “I want to go home now.”

  Tone sighed. “I said we were catching the next flight, so calm your dramatic ass down.” He wiped the tears from her face. Even though she’d pissed him off, he never wanted to see her cry over him, or any other nigga.

  Erin rolled her eyes and pushed past him heading to the bathroom. Tone rubbed his hands over his freshly cut hair, sighing. Erin slammed the door behind her cursing. Tone looked at the door wanting to snatch her ass up by her collar. Instead he went to the table and pulled a pre-rolled blunt out of the ash tray. He sat down at the table lighting it. Taking a puff, he inhaled deeply, and exhaled slowly. After a few more puffs, he put it out and licked his lips. “And take that damn swimming suit off!” he yelled.

  Chapter Sixteen: The Crying Game

  Erin sat on her bedroom floor Indian styled, wrapping presents. It was Christmas Eve, but she wasn’t in the Christmas spirit. Tone wasn’t talking to her, and her friendship with Jeanette was slowly fading away. Erin felt bad about how she’d handled Jeanette when she’d come over that day bruised and crying. But once again her pride clouded her judgement, allowing the situation to escalate.

  Sasha stood in her doorway holding two cups. “I brought you some egg nog.” When Erin had come home early from her trip with Tone, she knew something was wrong. Erin hadn’t said anything about it and she noticed Tone hadn’t come over recently.

  Erin looked up at her and smiled, ushering for her to come in. “Thanks. I’m just trying to get this shit wrapped up; I don’t know why I started so late.” She tried not to make eye contact with Sasha. One wrong gesture and she was liable to break down.

  Sasha sat down on her bed and handed her a cup. “Yea, I didn’t even bother to wrap nothing up. I just bought a whole bunch of gift bags.” she said, taking a sip of her drink.

  Erin did the same. “So what’s the plan for tomorrow? Are you going with me and Erica to the homeless shelter?” Every year, her and her younger sister would help serve the less fortunate on Christmas Day.

  Sasha shrugged. “Why not? I don’t have anything else planned.” She watched as Erin went back to wrapping gifts. “You and Tone good?”

  Erin felt a sudden rush of sadness come over her. “Yea, we’re straight. Why you ask?”

  Sasha gave her a side eye. “I’m only asking because y’all are usually inseparable. You’ve been back for what, two days? He hasn’t been over once and you go to work and come home. Did something happen in California? Y’all came back early.”

  “We had an argument, it’s cool though.” Erin didn’t know if she was trying to convince Sasha or herself.

  Sasha nodded. “Oh, ok, I was just wondering.”

  Erin stood up and stretched. “We’re straight, let’s go to IHOP. I want some pancakes.” Even though Sasha was the perfect person to vent to, she wasn’t in the mood to talk about Tone and her relationship.

  As they pulled into IHOP’s parking lot, Erin’s phone went off. It was Jeanette. “Should I answer it?” she asked Sasha.

  Sasha unbuckled her seatbelt. “Naw, let’s just pop up on her ass, i
t’s time we all move on from the bullshit and let the past be the past.” she said opening her door.

  Erin shrugged her shoulders. Sasha was right. Things had gone too far between Jeanette and them. It was time to let bygones be bygones and nip everything in the bud. As they made their way into the restaurant they couldn’t help but notice the crowd of people on the far end of the restaurant.

  Sasha sucked her teeth. “Man, the wait is going to be forever.” She was hungry and IHOP pancakes were her favorite.

  Erin pulled her arm. “It might not be. Come on.” To both of their surprise the host told them there wasn’t a wait, asking them to follow her.

  Sasha was glad. “I just knew it was going to be a wait, they got this muthafucka jumping.” She pointed over to the massive crowd of people. Some were standing and some were sitting down. It was a mixture of women and men, but the men definitely outweighed the women.

  The host laughed. “Girl I know. That’s Tone and his wild ass crew. They’re celebrating something. They came in here fifty niggas deep, didn’t wait for a table, just pushed a whole bunch of tables together and sat down.” she laughed. “They be wildin.”

  Erin’s eyes shot towards the crowd of people at the mention of Tone’s name. He couldn’t return her texts or calls, but he was here partying with a bunch of bitches. Sasha gave Erin a look, waiting for her to make a move. The host sat their menus down on the table and walked away.

  Sasha spoke first. “You good? Cause if not we can-“

  Erin gave her no time to complete her sentence as she made her way over to the loud crowd. Her eyes skimmed over the people until she locked eyes with Tone. He was sitting at the end of a row of tables lined up. As she made her way over to him, men whistled at her and tried to holler. She ignored them never taking her eyes off Tone.

  Once she approached him she folded her arms across her chest with an attitude. “You haven’t seen me calling you?” She missed him. It didn’t help he was looking sexy as hell in his all white attire.

  Tone sighed. “I’ve been busy. What’s up love.” He liked how her hair was pulled up into a lose ponytail, and even though she wore simple grey sweats, a white t-shirt, and a navy blue jacket, she was still the prettiest girl in the room.

  Erin frowned. “Can we go somewhere and talk?” She didn’t like how he was playing it cool. “I really need to talk to you.” she damn near begged.

  Some random chick sitting next to Tone, smacked her lips. “Who are you?”

  Tone gave her a crazy look, and she immediately backed down. “Don’t worry about who the fuck she is, mind your business.” He looked back at Erin. “We’ll talk later.”

  Erin moved closer to him. “I want to talk now.” She wasn’t worried about the chick sitting next to him, because she didn’t have shit on her, even on her worst day.

  Tone rubbed his chin smoothly. He stood up and followed Erin away from the crowd of people. As they walked by, Erin got mean looks, and ugly stares from women who had been trying to get Tone’s attention since they’d arrived. Once they were closer to the table she shared with Sasha she pouted.

  Sasha stood up. “Hey Tone.”

  “Sup Sash.” They shared a side hug as she left to give them some privacy.

  Tone licked his lips, waiting for Erin to start talking. When she didn’t, he rubbed his forehead. “How you gone tell me you want to talk, but stand there pouting and shit? What’s up? You wanted my attention, and you got it.”

  Erin rolled her eyes. “I’m not pouting. You’re ignoring me, but in here posted with these hoes.” Erin sighed.

  “I’m posted with my homies, not them. I haven’t been ignoring you, I’ve been busy.”

  “Well come home with me then. I miss you.” Erin couldn’t fight it anymore; she missed the hell out of Tone. “How can you celebrate when you and I aren’t on good terms? You don’t miss me?”

  Tone pulled her close to him. “You know I miss you. But you also know you got me fucked up. The fuck is you doing bailing niggas out of jail man?” Tone hated to admit it. Erin had put him in his feelings with that one, and since he wasn’t used to feeling that way, he felt it would be best if he kept his distance. He didn’t know what kind of hold Erin had on him, or when it got so tight.

  “Baby, I haven’t even talked to him, he doesn’t even have my number.” She wrapped her arms around his neck. “I did it to help Ms. Mona, his mama, not him. I would never do you like that. I love you.”

  Tone stared at her, taking what she was saying into consideration. He knew Erin wasn’t the scandalous type, but he didn’t like the fact she was doing favors for another man. Especially a man she used to be in love with. He’d done his research, on her and TreVell’s relationship, so he knew their history. He wasn’t insecure, but he also didn’t need TreVell thinking he had a chance, just because Erin was being generous. He kissed her nose, and face. “Don’t do no shit like that again. I don’t care if God himself called you and asked you to help the nigga out.” Erin laughed, but stopped when she seen he was dead serious. “Ok.” she said quietly.

  Tone kissed her forehead. “I love you too.”

  Skyy was helping Skylar put the frosting and the finishing touches on her gingerbread house, when there was a knock on the front door. She knew Deidra was out with Tone, and plus she had a key. So it could only be Sasha or Erin. She swung the door open, and her smile instantly turned into a frown.

  “What do you want?” she asked.

  Derick held a gift bag in his hand, extending his arm for her to take it. “I just wanted to drop off an early Christmas gift for Skylar.”

  Skyy caressed her temples, was he serious. “Derick you need to go. We don’t want your gifts.” She went to close the door when Skylar suddenly stepped in front of her.

  “Mommy, who is that?” she asked innocently.

  Derick looked down at her. “I’m Derick. What’s your name princess?” he asked her pinching her chubby cheeks.

  Skylar smiled bashfully. “I Skylar. Can I have some toys?” Her eyes roamed over the big gift bag he was carrying.

  Derick opened it and pulled out a Play-Doh set. “Of course, here ya’ go.”

  She snatched the Play-Doh out of his hands and rushed back into the house. Skyy couldn’t help but laugh. “Skylar, say thank you.”

  “Thank you.” she called over her shoulder as she made her way to her room.

  Derick smiled. “She’s good.” He handed Skyy the bag with the rest of the gifts inside. “Can I come in?”

  Skyy huffed. “Ok Derick, but you can’t stay that long.” She said giving him space to enter. Closing the door behind him she waited for him to say whatever he felt the need to say.

  He looked around the apartment, noticing all the boxes scattered everywhere. “You moving?”

  “Yep.”

  “When?”

  Skyy rolled her eyes “Ok Derick, let’s cut the small talk, because I don’t even like you. Why are you here?” she asked annoyed.

  Derick shook his head laughing. “I want to spend Christmas with Skylar. Introduce her to the family. I owe her that. I’ve missed three Christmases and I don’t want to miss another one.”

  “Why are you trying to be daddy of the year all of a sudden? Like you just said you missed three. You can miss four.” She leaned back against the door.

  Derick waved her off. “I didn’t come here to argue. I came here to give my daughter her Christmas gifts, and ask if I could see her tomorrow.”

  “No.”

  “Why?”

  “Because, I said no! Why are you trying my patience Derick!” She started opening the door for him to go.

  “I want to be a part of my daughter’s life! Skylar is my child and I be damned if you keep her away from me, because your scared of how Deidra might feel. That’s not fair to me, or Skylar.” he became indignant.

  “Whatever, get out!” she yelled swinging the door open and standing face to face with Deidra.

  Sasha woke up smiling; ma
ybe it was because it was Christmas morning, but most likely because she and Malcolm had been spending quite a bit of time together. At first it weirded her out that he was so nice the night her and Skyy went out for drinks. They’d exchanged numbers somehow and next thing she knew; he was calling her asking her to have lunch with him.

  He’d even invited her to a Christmas party one of his college friends were throwing tonight. She told him no at first, thinking Michael would be there, but he reassured her Michael wouldn’t dare be caught at the party. Sasha learned Malcolm was the complete opposite from his brother. Besides the fact that Malcolm had a black mother, they were like night and day. Malcolm was untamed, whilst Michael was reserved. Malcolm rode motorcycles, and Michael rode in limousines.

  Sasha kicked her covers off her body stretching. Reaching for her phone she heard Erin’s loud ass singing off beat to Christmas carols. She laughed as she pulled up her contacts to make her round of “Merry Christmas” calls and texts.

  After Sasha was dressed she followed the sound of Erin’s voice to the kitchen. She smiled at how animated Erin was acting, as she danced around the kitchen singing, “Jingle Bell Rock”. Sasha nearly scared Erin half to death when she spoke. “You and Tone must have made up.”

  Erin grabbed her chest. “Bitch, quit playing! Announce yourself when you come into a room.” she laughed.

  Sasha grinned. “Yea, y’all made up. I can tell by the way your ass is prancing around the kitchen like a ballerina.” She doubled over in laughter.

  Erin laughed. “Whatever!” Sasha was right though, she and Tone had made up. He’d even come over last night to finish their makeup session. Hell she was surprised Sasha hadn’t heard her, as loud as they had been.

  Sasha shook her head amused. “I’m happy y’all good, because you were walking around like a lost puppy.” Sasha pouted mocking her.

  Erin flipped her off. “He knows he missed me, trying to act all hard and shit.”

  “You’re the same way. Quit tryna front. So when we heading out? I gotta be back by 7 though.” She leaned on the kitchen island.