CRYSTALLUM (The Primordial Principles Book 1)

by McMann, Laney

  With a laugh, she wrapped her arms around his neck. "You should put me down. It's obvious you're supposed to be taking it easy. Infirmary?"

  "I'm fine. I do keep wondering how you broke the memory modifier, though. I don't know if that's happened before."

  Kade's brow crunched. "If you wish I hadn't remembered anything, then just say that." She tried to wriggle free, but Cole tightened his grip and leaned forward. Kade thought he was going to kiss her, but he only crouched down a little like a cat.

  "I didn't say that. You're so feisty all the time. Now, hang on to me. I'll be fast."

  "Seriously?" Kade glanced toward the parking lot. "We look stupid. People are staring at us."

  "Like I give a damn about anyone who goes to school here. Hang on."

  Kade tightened her grip, and he took off. Like a rocket. He shot across campus, weaving in between people, and cars, and they were standing beside his Jeep.

  "Fast, huh?" He winked. "Told you."

  Kade gazed up at him. Did he really just run with her in his arms?

  He set her on her feet and Kade remembered how high off the ground Cole's Jeep was. With a groan, she stared up at the seat, knowing with a short dress and heels, nothing graceful was about to happen. Cole cradled her in his arms again, stood up on the running boards, and set her down on the seat. Kade reached for the center console to steady herself, but her hand slid on the cold leather, and she fell sideways into the driver’s seat.

  "All this time I kept thinking maybe you were just clumsy." Cole helped her to sit up with a grunt, and she thought he was favoring his right arm. "But, now I'm starting to think it's just when you're near me." He reached across her chest, and she sucked in a breath. "Seatbelt." Smiling, he drew it across her lap, clipping it into place. "Get your mind out of the gutter, Sparrow," he whispered and shut her door. "Do I make you nervous?" He climbed into the driver's seat.

  "No." Yes. But in a very good way.

  He grinned and started the Jeep. Cranking the heat, he directed all the vents toward her. "Better?"

  Still shivering, she nodded, finding it impossible to look away from him.

  "Can I ask you something?" He rested his head against his seat. "You and Jake."

  Kade raised an eyebrow.

  "Is it real?" His clear-eyed gaze held hers. It was the third time he'd asked her about her relationship with Jake. Not that she had a relationship with Jake.

  "Real?"

  "I came here," he said. "Because I couldn't not come." He motioned to the cut on his mouth. "I'm supposed to be in bed, healing. Danny wasn't lying about that. I'm sure he's a little pissed, but I had to come. I had to know. It's been driving me crazy staring at those white walls in the infirmary."

  "I'm confused. You had to know what?"

  "If it's real. What you feel for Jake."

  The question shocked her. "You have a girlfriend, Cole." Kade faced her lap, wondering if she should even be in the car alone with him. The answer was no. She shouldn't be. No matter what he'd done, how sweet and incredible he'd been, how safe he made her feel, she still shouldn't be.

  "If I didn't?"

  Kade's gaze traveled back to him, tracing the strong line of his jaw, his broad shoulders. "I don't know," she answered. He grinned when their gazes met, and she noticed his usual golden color was back.

  “You don't know if it's real with Jake, or you don't know how you'd feel if I didn't have a girlfriend?" He smirked. "I can't keep up with you, little bird."

  "Little bird?"

  "That's what fledglings are. And sparrows." Cole's eyes sparkled and darkened. "I can teach you how to fly."

  Kade's mouth fell open.

  "I don't have a girlfriend."

  "But she said—"

  He shook his head. "We used to date. Tiffany still wants to, and the Ward encourages us to, but she isn't who I want. And that poses a problem for a few reasons. One, because I am only allowed to date my own."

  "I remember. You can't date me."

  He glanced away. "No, I can't."

  "Then why are you out here with me and not inside with Tiffany? You came here with her. That's not right. I mean, if this is impossible, why tempt yourself? Why ask me anything about it at all?"

  He bit his bottom lip. "You think I'm tempted?"

  She nodded, energy building in her chest and she focused on his mouth. She wanted to taste the fire on his lips like she had the first time he'd kissed her. Feel the heat that had traveled from his body to hers. “But it doesn't matter if I do."

  "Do you remember me kissing you?"

  Her breath increased. "Yes, but—"

  "Do you remember me asking you to wait and not run away, so we could talk about it? Remember me saying I was sorry?"

  She averted her eyes. He'd pushed away from her.

  "I am sorry, Kade. For hurting your feelings. I didn't mean to."

  "I shouldn't have run off. I'm sorry, too. We just got caught up in the moment. I get it."

  "The reason I'm not inside," Cole began, "is because I'd rather be near you, and just be your friend, than be with someone I don't want to be with."

  "My friend? You want to be friends?"

  "Yeah." He shrugged.

  "But you said Primori and Primeva were never friends."

  "Doesn't mean we can't be. It's not against the rules."

  "So, you want to be my friend?" Kade's eyebrows lifted.

  "Why not?"

  "What about what I want?"

  Cole's eyes darkened again. "What do you want?"

  Heat flushed her face. "What happens if I kiss you this time?"

  Cole chuckled. "We'd get in trouble with the Ward."

  "But I'm just a fledgling, right?” Kade shrugged. “So, I don't really know any better." She held his smoldering, darkening stare. "I don't know the rules yet."

  Cole's breath caught and his eyes darkened to black. “Kade—" his voice hitched.

  She leaned in and skimmed the corner of his mouth with hers, the slightest of touches, the same way he'd done to her, and pulled away. "Now we're even," she whispered.

  A grin tugged his mouth and he half laughed. "That's not playing fair." His hand went to her jaw, drawing her closer. "I gave you two kisses the other night, so pulling away doesn't make us even." Cole guided her mouth toward his. "And I never break the rules."

  "Me neither." Their lips barely touched. "I'm not even allowed to date."

  "I thought I heard you say that to Giselle." He nipped at the edge of her mouth. A surge of heat flooded over her, and she grinned, shaking her head.

  "You were eavesdropping?"

  "Mm hm." Cole's eyes closed and he kissed her again, just barely, a groan escaping his throat. "I think I need to take you home."

  ***

  The drive up the mountain toward Kade's house was the best car ride she'd ever known. Not only did Cole drive so fast on the back dirt roads he had her swaying in her seat and grabbing the hand rail like she was on a roller coaster, but she laughed so much tears filled her eyes. The final few miles toward her house were too dark to go fast, and Kade wished there weren't bucket seats and a center console in the Jeep so she could scoot all the way over next to Cole like in one of those old country movies she'd watched, but she knew that was ridiculous. She could be his friend regardless of how she felt about him. She was lucky to have him as her friend.

  "So, little bird." Cole pulled into her driveway and cut the engine, killing the lights. "Are you feeling better?"

  "Much," she laughed. "Thank you."

  "No more crazy upsurges of energy?" He lifted a brow.

  "Nope."

  "Good. I would like to walk you to your door like a gentleman should. Do you think your dad will notice if you come home with a different date?"

  She burst out laughing again. "Definitely."

  He grinned. "And how much trouble will you be in if he sees you with me instead of Jake?"

  "I could always say Jake had to leave early?" She cringed, knowi
ng that was probably the worst lie ever.

  "That works." Cole opened his door and ran around to Kade's. "I think I should pick you up again." He motioned to her heels. "Better not risk it. It's one thing to get dropped off by a different guy, another to get dropped off by a different guy who let you bust your butt in the driveway." He scooped her up off her seat, set her on her feet, and held out his arm. "May I?"

  She slid her hand around his elbow with a grin. "You may."

  "Will you do something for me?"

  "Maybe."

  "Promise to stay inside the house after I leave."

  She stopped. "Why wouldn't I stay in the house?"

  "No reason. I'd just feel safer if you did. After the Dracon thing...will you do that for me?"

  She held his intense gaze. "Yes."

  "Thanks." He led her onto the porch. "Should I say I had fun tonight? Sounds kind of weird since I wasn't your date, but I did. I had fun."

  "Me too. A little strange, and eye opening." She still hadn't let the whole Giselle and Lindsey being Primeva settle on her brain, much less the realization that the Ward had issued a memory modification for her. That was spooky. That they had that much power. Enough to wipe her memories away. "But I had fun, too," she said. "And I'm glad I remembered everything. Even though...you know it's really weird...that I wasn't supposed to."

  "The Ward is very protective of fledglings. I think the Warden didn't want you to be afraid after all of that happened. We've had fledglings lose it in lesser situations than yours."

  "Lose it?"

  "Their minds."

  She gasped.

  "It's rare, Kade," he said. "But it's happened. It's a lot to take in, and with Dracon added into the mix. The memory modifier was supposed to make it easier for you to adjust."

  That didn't sound so bad, the fact that they were worried. Still, a whole mass of people knew she existed, a whole other world and race of people that she belonged to, and she'd never known any of them until now. Had no idea that there were people who cared about her other than her dad. It was thrilling and strange and...

  "Oh, my god. My dad. My dad was in on this? He knew all about this. He knew I was in the Kinship...and..." She glanced at Cole.

  "Yeah."

  "My, god. I can't even mention this to him. That I know I'm not alone anymore. He probably wanted my memory modified." Kade stared at her feet. "He doesn't want me to know anything about anything. And now I have to pretend like I'm clueless, knowing that he isn't, and ..."

  "It's okay, Kade." Cole lifted her chin. "Everything is going to be okay. It's just part of the process."

  "Okay. I mean, yeah, it's fine. I'm good," she said, like she was repeating her own personal mantra. "This is good. I just won't say anything, and...it'll be fine."

  "Yeah?" Cole stared at her. "You're sure?"

  "Yeah." And she meant it, for the first time in her life she did feel like everything would be okay. Like there was hope for a better life.

  "So," Cole said. "I don't want your dad running out the door after some strange guy he's never seen before. I'll see you later?"

  "Sure." She didn't want him to leave.

  "Friends, then?" He started down the steps.

  "Friends."

  "Remember your promise?"

  "Stay inside." Kade rolled her eyes.

  "Exactly." He walked backwards across the yard, hands in his pockets. "You really do look beautiful tonight."

  Kade's cheeks heated. "You really do, too."

  Cole reached the Jeep. "This is going to be really hard for me, you know? Just being your friend."

  "I know."

  He opened the door. "Just so we both know."

  "Cole?"

  "Yeah?

  "Tomorrow, if you wake up and realize that all of this was a mistake, I'll understand."

  He tilted his head to the side, frown lines creasing.

  "I want to thank you for everything you've done," Kade went on. "I'll never be able to thank you enough."

  He shook his head. "I'm starting to think I should be the one thanking you, Sparrow." Cole started the engine and rolled his window down. "Now, go inside, please. It's cold out here."

  Kade turned with a grin and walked toward the front door.

  “Kade?”

  She turned around. “Yeah?”

  “I didn’t go to the dance with anyone,” Cole said. “I went alone. To see you. Tiffany was there with her friends.”

  Kade’s stared, speechless.

  Cole winked. “Now, keep your promise and go inside.”

  ***

  "It has been a long time since I sat awake into the late hours of the night waiting for a child to return home safely. I find I do not miss it." The Warden clicked on the light in the dark room, hands folded underneath his chin.

  Cole sighed, abandoning his attempt to sneak into the infirmary, and sank onto the bed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you worry."

  "Mr. Roberts alerted me that you were fine. He seems to grow on me more and more." The elder man gave a grin. "Who would have thought?"

  "You never thought he would amount to anything."

  "No, but you did, and you were right. I should have trusted your instincts sooner in regard to his talent."

  Cole shrugged. "He proved himself."

  "Yes, he did. So, you are obviously feeling better? The doctor assured me that you would need days to recover."

  "And you believed him?" Cole cracked a smile.

  "Not really. How is Kadence?"

  All the warmth bled from Cole's face. "She's fine."

  "Good. Then you can rest easy and have no more late night escapades?"

  He nodded.

  "Would you stay tonight? In the infirmary?" The Warden asked. "To ease an old man's mind that his grandson is indeed well?"

  Cole kicked off his shoes.

  The Warden grinned and pushed to stand. "Thank you."

  "What if I wanted to date her?" The words just spilled out. "Kade."

  The elder man chuckled. "There is no, 'what if.' You do want to." He made his way toward the door.

  "Can I?"

  The Warden turned to face him. "With all my heart as your grandfather, I wish I could tell you what you want to hear, but as your Warden, I must tell you, no, you cannot."

  Cole released a breath. "I don't want to be with Tiffany."

  "I know that, too. I didn't want to be with your grandmother at first."

  Cole's eyes widened.

  "She was too demanding, too controlling, and I was in love with someone else. But, it worked out in the end. I was bound to your grandmother, and she grew on me after a while, and we created a fine life for ourselves. Don't worry so much right now about how you and Tiffany fit. It will work itself out."

  Cole's gaze went to his hands. "Did you love her? Grandmother?"

  "Over time I grew to love her."

  "That's not the same thing."

  The Warden sighed. "No, it is not, but my position within the Ward came first, as did hers, as does everyone's. Yours will as well when you become a Principal. It isn't about love, Cole, not really. What we do as individuals, as a race, has a direct impact on humankind, on Primordialkind, and that will always come first. Being in love is an emotion we simply cannot afford. That is not to say that we should not, or do not care about and love one another. We do. It simply means that our calling comes first." He placed a hand on the doorknob. "The people we love, truly love, they can become targets. It is best if you let this go. Get Kadence out of your mind. I will have Danny take over your posts until Kyle is found if that will make it easier on you."

  Cole shook his head. "It won't make it easier. Besides that, she'll think I'm ignoring her, and that's worse. I can handle it until we locate Kyle."

  "Very well. You get a good night's sleep."

  "You too, Grandfather."

  The Warden closed the door, and Cole's head dropped like a weight into his hands.

  How was he ever going to live a lif
e built on a lie?

  21

  SUNLIGHT BLED THROUGH Kade's blinds. It was the first time she'd slept in since school started. A weight had been lifted, and although the situation with Giselle and Lindsey, not to mention Cole and Jake, put another one in its place, it was a weight she was happy to shoulder. She wasn't alone anymore.

  The smell of bacon and coffee reached her room, and she slipped on her warm socks, her robe, grabbed her cell phone off the night stand, and bounded down the stairs.

  "Morning, Dad." She popped a piece of bacon into her mouth, one of the only foods her dad had mastered the art of cooking.

  He looked up from his laptop. "Good time last night?"

  "Yep. Thank you again for letting me go."

  "Thank you for coming home on time and staying out of trouble."

  She reached for the orange juice. Cole had dropped her off well before 11:30. Thankfully her dad hadn't been standing inside the door waiting. Shockingly. Instead, he'd been busy at his laptop in the kitchen.

  "But don't get ahead of yourself, Kadey. The no boyfriends rule sticks."

  "I know." She grabbed a few more pieces of bacon before getting the bread out of the pantry to make toast. Her cell phone vibrated in her robe pocket. She read the text, not recognizing the number.

  Good morning, friend. Busy today?

  It vibrated again.

  It's Cole.

  Heat rushed through her body like a volcanic eruption, and a choked sound escaped her throat.

  "Kade?" Her dad looked up. "You okay?"

  "Mmm." She slipped the phone into her pocket. "Just swallowed wrong." The toast popped up and she pressed the bacon slices between the bread and squeezed them together. Grabbing a napkin, she headed toward the living room, plopped on the couch and took her phone out of her pocket.

  I'm waiting...

  She grinned.

  How'd you get my number? She texted back.

  Really? I ask you if you're busy today, and you want to know how I got your number?

  She laughed. Yeah.

  It wasn't hard. So?

  She took a bite of her sandwich. I just woke up.

  I know. Can I see you later?