Dire Needs
Page 29
The shift had been like a brilliant swirl of rainbow colors bursting—painful and exquisite at the same time. “I’ve killed people.”
Harm actually looked… proud. “A wolf’s got to be able to defend herself.”
She stared at her hands. She’d learned a long time ago when she’d started dealing with doctors and hospitals that hands could cause both life and death.
Only to people who want you dead, Sister Wolf whispered. You’ll see.
“Do you paint, like your mom?” he asked her.
She shook her head, confused. “I don’t. Wait, the paintings were done by my mother? My aunt always said she painted them when she was younger, and they even had her signature on them.”
“She was keeping you safe, like she was charged to do. I gave her cash and sent her away so there was no trail. I always knew where you were, though. I had guards—Weres—around the area. I knew you wouldn’t have noticed.”
She hadn’t, of course, but she’d never felt anything but safe with her aunt and uncle. “I miss my mother,” she blurted out.
“Your mom… Lucy… she was so beautiful. Like you.” She noticed Harm’s fingers shake as he pulled a picture from his wallet. It was yellowing and wrinkled.
It was obvious he took it with him everywhere. She held the paper by the edges carefully. It wasn’t the only picture of her mom she’d seen, but it was the only one the woman seemed happy in. “How long were you two together?”
“Not long enough. I was taking a break from touring. Three months in the mountains and she was there, painting.” He had such a faraway look in his eyes that it brought tears to hers. “When I came back from the next tour, she was gone. She’d left a note—she was scared. Wanted to protect you. I didn’t know the trappers had been following me because of a witch named Cordelia. I was so stupid.”
At the mention of Cordelia’s name, Gwen shuddered. “My mother knew what you were?”
“It was impossible to hide it from her. No, that’s not true—I stopped wanting to. At first, she was terrified. Disbelieving. I explained that I couldn’t be with her because of the wolf side, but she told me that she could handle anything. She did, but I was very careful.” He paused. “I didn’t know about the baby—about you—at first. When she told me, it was because she needed money to hide from the weretrappers.”
“To hide me?”
“Both of you. Since she’d been impregnated by a wolf, she didn’t know if they’d force her to carry more half-breeds.” He stared at the picture from over her shoulder. “I gave her everything she needed, and the trappers still got to her. You’re lucky you were at the hotel where your aunt and uncle were staying—your mom called them in because she was worried. Knew she was being followed. And they weren’t really your aunt and uncle, but close friends who’d been told everything. And you stayed safe for a really long time.”
“How?”
“Seb. It worked for a while—I made a pact without Rifter’s knowledge. But when things turned bad between wolf and witch… shit, Rift and Seb were so close. I never thought…”
She wanted to tell him it wasn’t his fault, but technically, that wasn’t true. She wanted to forgive him, but she wasn’t there yet. “She was very brave,” she said instead.
“She was willing to do anything for you. In the end, she did.”
“And you weren’t.”
Something dark and painful skittered across his face. “I tried. After Seb went to the weretrappers’ side, I did everything in my power to keep you safe from them. But they wouldn’t take me instead of you. I figured I was better served staying out and watching over you.”
“Why didn’t they want you?”
“They wanted Rifter and Rogue for their abilities in particular. I had to make a choice—my daughter or my brothers. They could fend for themselves. You would have never survived with them.”
“And yet, you don’t want me to survive. To shift. You hate being a wolf.”
“I hate not being able to mate with anyone I want to—there’s a difference. It’s a hell of a lonely life. And I like humans, Gwen, more than I like most wolves. The fact that your mother was able to get pregnant by me—that was a goddamned miracle. And I couldn’t be with her. It was so unfair.” He stared at her. “I guess you won’t have that problem.”
“Don’t you think, with so few of us left, you should try to make up with them? If nothing else, for my sake?”
“Never going to happen. They can’t stand me because I like humans.”
“I think you missed the mark on that one. They can’t stomach the fact that you didn’t trust them enough to tell them all of this. You didn’t come back to help them. You have so few of your kind left and you turned your back on them. On me. I’m half human, so what’s your excuse?”
Harm’s mouth pulled into a tight grimace. “Right—you’re half human and my daughter. Do you think they’re going to treat you any better than me?”
“They already have,” she spat.
“Because you can kill them. Once they take a step back and wrap their heads around how truly dangerous you are if captured… don’t think they’re going to treat you any differently than these silver chains.” He pointed to his bonds, and his eyes looked lupine even though his tone was sad.
She stared at him, the anger making her head pound. How could Rifter not hate her? No doubt a part of him did, but she couldn’t believe what Harm was telling her.
Or maybe she just didn’t want to.
Chapter 45
The police cars lined the area around the Dire house, prepared to do a thorough search of the surrounding woods. They wouldn’t come to the door and demand entrance, though, because they couldn’t see the house. Thanks to a protection spell Seb had gifted them years ago, the only people who could see the house were wolves, and only those who hadn’t betrayed the Dires. It was a complicated, irreversible spell—pure, unadulterated magic. Sometimes the Dires would sit there and watch the police actually walk through their house, unencumbered by the surrounding furniture and walls.
But the Dires still took nothing for granted and had built a space to go to during such emergencies after Seb went over to the dark side—and hired a Were bail bondsman who could get Vice and Stray out of jail, if need be. The underground lair was built on hallowed church ground—demons couldn’t touch the place.
Hopefully, the police would look on them as troublemakers and not delve much further. The weretrappers had made a stupid move turning the Dires in—as dangerous for all of them as it was stupid.
The stakes were their lives as they knew them—it would take all their strength and abilities, working together, to pull their asses off the line.
Rifter barreled up the stairs in time to see Gwen leaving Harm’s room, a hand over her mouth. When she looked up at him, he knew Harm had opened his big mouth, talking shit she wasn’t ready to hear.
“I’ll fucking kill him,” he told her. “Whatever he said, it isn’t true.”
“How can you even stand to look at me… knowing I’m the reason for Rogue—for your nightmares,” she started, but he pulled her close before she could say another word.
“It’s not your fault. I’ll take time proving that to you, but the police are here now, scouring the property. We’ve got to go.”
“I’ve brought you guys nothing but trouble—how can all of you be so good to me?”
“It’s not hard at all, Gwen. It hasn’t been from the beginning.”
“Even though I can kill you?”
“Yeah, even though.”
She looked like she wanted to say something more on the subject, but she let it drop for the moment. “The police are here because of Mars and his brother, right? God, I messed everything up.”
“No, you saved me. Always remember that. You have to calm the hell down—you can’t afford to shift now. Come on, let’s go now—we’ll talk about this, okay?” He kissed her—hard. “You’ve done nothing wrong.”
She took
a deep breath, but her eyes were changing. He could see she was having a tough time holding it together, like any new wolf.
But she was far from any new wolf, and the agitation was rolling off her in waves. “Let’s go.”
He took her hand and led her to the basement, where Jinx waited by the door, ready to seal it back when they passed him. It looked like a flat wall, and if tapped, wouldn’t sound hollow. When Jinx opened it, he pulled her inside and they started to walk along the dimly lit corridor.
When the door slammed behind her, she jumped.
“It’s okay—this leads to an underground compound about a mile from the house. We rarely need it, since the house is invisible to humans.”
“It never was to me,” Gwen told him.
“If you’d said that earlier, it would’ve been my first clue that there was something going on with you.”
They walked in near silence, Gwen’s harsh breathing jarring him with every step.
If she shifted here, it would be so dangerous for both wolves. He turned and held her—they had half a mile to go, but he couldn’t go on with her so upset. He kissed her until she stopped resisting, until he felt the tears on her cheeks dry.
“Baby, it’s okay,” he murmured into her neck.
“Don’t tell me you didn’t hate me when you found out.”
“No, I didn’t. I couldn’t. You’re an innocent in all of this. Harm was trying to save you, the same way I did when I turned myself over to Mars.” He paused. “I can’t fault him. As much as I want to, there can’t be any lies between us.”
She nodded. “I’m sorry—you don’t need my breakdown right now. Let’s get to safety and you can make your plans.”
He held her hand the rest of the way until the two of them approached what looked like a blank wall, until Rifter used his palm against just the right spot. He stood back as a door opened in front of them, and then he ushered her inside. He waited to turn around until it closed and sealed behind them.
The compound was large—all one floor with surveillance monitors and weapons and food. Enough to survive several apocalypses, which was ironic considering they could all just sit outside in lawn chairs and not worry about death.
Gwen was looking around as he checked the monitors, especially the ones leading to the house. He saw his brothers watching the police comb the property, and his gut lurched.
This was all too fucking public. Staying here would bring trouble beyond their wildest dreams.
But for now, he had to calm Gwen down—that was a kind of trouble they couldn’t afford.
“Why are there chains here?” she called from one of the bedrooms. He walked to the door to see her staring down at the heavy silver cuffs attached to cement walls—they were double hinged and reinforced to the wall.
“If we’ve got a moon-crazed young Were, we can’t always control his shift. But we can control where he goes once he’s shifted. This way, he stays here and doesn’t hurt anyone,” he explained.
She picked it up even as he tried to stop her. Was by her side in seconds, watching her hold the chain in her palm, waiting for her to yell and drop it, or at least see some smoke rising from her palm.
“It’s still not burning you?” he asked incredulously.
“Not at all.” She touched it with both hands. “What does this mean?”
“Maybe it’ll only affect you in wolf form.” Or maybe you’re not out of danger with your shifts yet. Maybe you’re not really a shifted wolf until silver burns you.
Fuck.
They were cut off here, which was the point. But the proximity. The need… her scent…
“Your eyes,” she whispered.
“Yours too.” He took several steps back as the walls closed in. “Let me get us some food and we can… talk.”
“I don’t want to talk.”
“Me neither. But you need to know about the mating… what can happen.”
She nodded, placed the heavy chains on the floor and followed him out toward the kitchen.
Rifter was romancing her.
They were in the middle of a crazy battle and he was taking the time to cook for her. He poured her wine and made her spaghetti, and she ate because her body gave her no choice. Sister Wolf demanded fuel.
“Will my appetite calm down?” she asked.
“It gets worse—but you’ll get used to it. You’ll know how to manage it.” He sat next to her at the big table.
“I can’t believe you’re doing this for me. It’s like… a date.”
“I’ve lived around cursed humans long enough to know their customs.”
“But not understand them?”
He smiled. “I’ve begun to. Our mating practices are… different.”
“Starting with the fact that we never use the term mating.”
“Right, but it’s just semantics. The point of dating is to mate, but humans are reluctant to admit that. Like sex is something to be ashamed of.”
“That’s true.”
“But it’s all around you—you use it on TV and in books, but you can’t walk up to a woman and tell her you want to mate.”
“That depends on the time of night and how much she’s had to drink, but yes, I get your point.” She took a sip of the red wine—it bloomed on her tongue much the way Rifter had—spicy, rich and almost as intoxicating.
Rifter had most definitely become like a drug to her. She wondered if that was all part of the mating ritual. “Back when you had a pack, what was the ritual?”
He finished his wine and poured her more. “Drink.”
“That bad, huh?”
“Not bad—just different.”
She narrowed her eyes. “I don’t have to sleep with the other Dires, do I?”
His growl reverberated across the room. “Sorry. Brother Wolf doesn’t like that question.”
“Guessing that’s a no.”
“The wolf can be more protective of his mate than the human. Dires and Weres know not to touch mated females. Mated males are even more dangerous than the young moon-crazed ones.”
“Protective.”
“A nice way of saying jealous as shit.” He smiled. “Mating was never arranged. The moon celebration is a time of mating and fertility. That’s where you sought your mate. And then some of the Dires started taking more than one mate, which wasn’t allowed under the old ways, and it got wild. Some wanted to get back to a more”—his mouth quirked to the side—“civilized way of life.”
“But the others refused.”
“Yes. They continued their pillaging. That’s when the humans began to hunt us and the Elders sent down their first warning.”
“But you can’t be killed.”
“No, we can’t now. But our kind used to die. Silver poisoning’s a horrible death. They would kill us—stuff and mount us.”
“You became immortal after the Extinction, then?”
“Yes. We went on our Running. The Dires, led by Jameson, defied the Elders’ instructions purposely. The current king didn’t want to give up his throne to Harm or to me. The packs went crazy and massacred villages of humans. Stole their money and possessions… I don’t know what they were thinking.” He shook his head. “Like we told you, we’re the only Dires left.”
“And then the Elders created the Weres?”
“Yes. In our language, wehr means man—to the weretrappers, we were man-wolves. Dire or Were, as we know them, didn’t matter. We were monsters to be destroyed. And later, we were monsters who could help them to rule the world. The Elders’ warning never sank in, and we pay the price as best we can. But we’ve never thought the Elders would allow us to mate. We’ve never been able to before, and sex reminds us of that.”
“What do you mean?”
“Sex is great while we’re having it, but we pay afterward, with pain.”
“So every time after sex, it hurts?”
“It’s not pleasant, no.” He paused. “It’s tied to the mating. We’re supposed to mate, not screw ar
ound randomly. After the third time with the same person, well, let’s just say we’re not supposed to be with them unless mating’s our intention.”
“Is that why you held off—in the woods?” she asked.
“Yes. Barely.”
“Mating is something you want, then.”
“With you, yes.”
She bit into a strawberry, swore she could smell the dirt from the garden where it had grown. It tasted like earth, delicious and fresh. “Do you only have one mate?”
“Yes. But our mates are not… predetermined. It’s like when humans say, you just know it’s right.”
“Humans get it wrong—a lot.”
“Humans don’t have our sense of smell.”
That was true—Rifter’s scent was so distracting to her—and none of the other brothers’ scents came close. Although they did smell good. “So we’re fated.”
“You’re mine. I know that as surely as I know I’m going to live forever. I know it and I like it—I want it. Since that first night in the bar I was drawn to you. The night I found you, I’d been riding around searching. You pulled me to you as surely as if you’d called out my name.”
She had been looking that night, restless, unable to stand it any longer. “Is it because of what I am that you found me? Did you sense the Dire in me subconsciously?”
“Maybe. Think of it this way: Jinx could’ve found you that night—or Vice or Stray. They were all out on moon call. But they didn’t. I went out to find you because I knew you were out there. Well, technically, I knew there was danger. And I guess I was right.”
She clinked her wineglass to his and took a big gulp.
“It can’t all be hard,” he told her. “Our wolves won’t let us shoulder burdens without equal parts pleasure.”
“You have to know the happiness to know sadness.”
He nodded, looked pleased at her understanding.
“What happens now?”
“We wait until the danger’s over.”
“I mean, between us,” she clarified. “And sealing our mating.”