Her entire body shivered, her mind screaming at her to say something that would make it all better, that would bring the Todd she knew back. But she’d gone too far. She’d ruined everything.
‘I—’
‘Save it, Malie, you can have your waves and your board; they seem to do a far better job than me.’
And then he turned, and he was gone. He didn’t even look back when she dropped to her knees, her board falling to the sand. He didn’t seem to hear her racked sob, or Nalu’s whimper.
She’d done it now. It was over. Really over.
‘Oh, God, Nalu.’ She hugged her little friend to her chest. ‘What have I done?’
Chapter Nineteen
TODD STRAIGHTENED HIS BOW tie and wanted to rip the damn thing away.
It was the last day of the programme, the last day for him in Hawaii, and it was meant to be a celebration. A gala ball to celebrate the work of the charity and the surf school, and more specifically, Malie. Pain caught at his chest, took away his ability to breathe, his ability to move. The echo of the words she’d thrown at him that night a week ago punished him even now. She’d been running scared. He knew that, but it in no way softened their blow. Or her rejection.
But tonight, he would have to see her again.
He’d avoided the surf school, the beach too, doing all he could to stay out of her way and not have to suffer it all over again. But he couldn’t avoid tonight. He was the host and she a guest of honour.
He yanked at the bow tie ends and turned sharply away from his reflection that judged him such a fool. She hadn’t asked for him to care for her, to fall for her, he’d done that all off his own bat.
His heels clipped against the polished surface of his floor as he made his way into the hallway and saw his PA standing there.
‘Are we all set, Grace?’
‘Against all the odds, yes.’ They’d intended to hold the gala in the grounds of the house, just as they had the cocktail party, but it had rained most of the day and was set to continue into the evening. The weather very much like his mood. ‘With the doors open between the living and dining area, the room is impressive enough and the dance space ample, it’s ideal.’
‘Good.’
The doorbell sounded and she stood to attention, hooking the tablet she carried safely into the crook of her arm. ‘I will greet the guests while you get yourself a drink.’ She frowned and did a quick scan of his overall appearance before patting his bow tie in place and stepping back. ‘You look like you could use it. Is everything OK?’
‘Of course.’
She hesitated a second longer but, ever the professional, let it go, her smile that of the perfect hostess. ‘Let’s get this party started.’
She twirled away in a cloud of green silk, her black hair smooth down her back. This was her thing, throwing parties; he knew she’d get a kick out of it and balance his anti-party stance quite perfectly.
He headed through the double doors that led into the space that had been created for tonight’s gala ball and paused to take it in. Grace had outdone herself. Where the cocktail party had been beach-themed, tonight’s party was all glitz and glamour, and intimate with it. Candles adorned the tables, glassware sparkled, bottles of champagne chilled in ice buckets and an acoustic duo played the perfect background music.
Tonight was about thanking everyone for their hard work. The Foundation hadn’t paid for it. He had. It was another way he could contribute and give back. Like the white knight Malie accused him of being.
Was that really all she saw in him? Did she truly think that’s why he cared about her?
And why are you even pondering it anyway? She wants nothing from you.
He strode across the room, his intent to pick up a bottle and neck a glassful before anyone came in but he was intercepted halfway across the floor by a waiter. ‘Sir?’
He offered up a tray of prepared glasses like he’d spied his intent – of course, he would have, he was paid to be on hand and Todd should have known there would be some ready.
He took it and nodded his thanks, but couldn’t trust his voice yet. He threw back a gulp and turned to watch the doors. He prepared his face, his smile. He just needed to get through the next few hours and then he’d be free. Tomorrow morning he’d be on a plane to New York and he could start putting this blip behind him.
Because that’s all this was, a blip…
He took another swig and concentrated on it, rather than the internal laughter mocking his resolve.
‘Malie, if you don’t get yourself out here now,’ Kalani called through her open doorway, ‘I swear to God I’m going to come in there and—’
She came around the corner and he cut his rant dead, his mouth hanging open, his eyes wide as he stood holding a bright red umbrella above his head.
‘What’s wrong?’ She smoothed down her front, her hands patting nervously at the soft silk as her heart went into full-on panic mode. ‘Oh, God, is it too much? I knew this was a bad idea, what the hell was I thinking…’
She started to turn away, to race back to her bedroom and find something else when Kalani reached out.
‘Don’t even think about it.’
‘Look, I know we’re running late but I can’t turn up looking like this, not when it’s left you gawping all fish-like!’
‘Hey, it’s not cos you look bad.’ He shook his head, his hand falling back to his side. ‘I was just stunned speechless.’
‘Kalani, you’re never speechless.’
‘And I’ve never seen you dressed in a gown with lethal heels before.’
Her heart did a little flutter, her shoulders easing. ‘You mean, I look OK?’
‘More than OK, and now I think on it properly, as your godfather I should probably send you back to get changed after all.’
She laughed at that, her nerves almost forgotten. ‘In that case, I’ll just grab my bag.’
She teetered back into the dining room. It really was alien wearing heels again but it helped her confidence which was already in tatters thanks to her nerves. They’d taken a thorough bashing in the run-up to this evening, knowing it would be the first time she’d see Todd since their… since their argument… if you could call it that.
He hadn’t even come to watch over the kids’ sessions, not even the last few where there had been tears from her students, even herself. She’d never had the same group for so long and it had been impossible not to become attached.
She’d even promised Jonny that she would investigate surf centres back home and send the details on to the Foundation in the hope that the kids could keep up their surfing. And for the briefest of moments, she’d even thought of her family’s surf school, standing empty – such a waste – and the idea of talking to her parents – of opening their eyes to what was possible if she could get them on board with the idea, of the great work they could do. But there were so many what-ifs, so much doubt, so many past arguments to overcome…
And then there was Todd. He hadn’t even finished his lessons that he’d paid through the nose for and she knew he hadn’t taken them with anyone else. Guilt chewed her up inside and this time it had nothing to do with her past and everything to do with how she’d treated him. She knew she had to apologize, even if she had to drag him away to do it, she had to make him believe how truly sorry she was.
It was the reason she hadn’t bailed on the night altogether, that and the fact the people from the Foundation would be there, Tara’s parents among them.
Tonight was about celebrating the success of the work they had done with the surf school and hopefully it meant there would be lots more programmes like this one. Programmes that made her happy to be a part of, that got her out of bed of a morning and sent her to bed smiling at night. Only in the last week she hadn’t been smiling, she’d been pining. Missing Todd more than she could ever have thought possible. She’d tried telling herself it was because it was straight off the back of Zoe leaving, but she knew she was only lying to
herself.
She wasn’t the same person she’d been before Todd’s visit. She wasn’t the same Malie who was happy in her own company, or messing about with the lads on the waves, or teaching at the school. She wasn’t the same Malie, content with sitting on her board patiently awaiting a wave. She wanted more.
But she also knew she wasn’t ready to take that plunge. Especially with someone as special as Todd. She’d hurt him enough already.
She just had to make it right. She needed to apologize and hope he could forgive her, then maybe she would be able to move on without this feeling of emptiness swelling inside.
‘Don’t tell me you can’t find it!’ Kalani called from the doorway, shaking her out of her thoughts. ‘If you don’t hurry all the good food will be gone.’
‘Sorry,’ she said, scooping her bag over her shoulder. ‘All ready.’
‘Thank heaven for that.’ He lifted the umbrella between them as she locked up the apartment. ‘Your feet will be pleased to hear that I’ve brought the car.’
‘You’re a lifesaver.’ She gave him a small smile in thanks and turned to hook her arm through his. ‘Right, let’s do this.’
He laughed. ‘You sound like you’re about to head into battle.’
She gave him another smile – that’s because it feels like I am.
Todd checked his watch again. It was getting late and he really wanted to deliver his speech before too much champagne had been consumed. But how could he deliver the speech when she wasn’t even here, and neither was Kalani?
‘I think you’re just going to have to start,’ Grace said as she approached him, her trusty tablet still under her arm. ‘We’ve already delayed things by half an hour and the kitchen is wanting to bring the food out.’
‘Still no sign of them?’
She shook her head. ‘I’m afraid not, I’ve asked the men on the gate to message as soon as they arrive.’
‘OK.’
She looked to him with concern. ‘Are you sure you’re OK?’
He sipped his champagne and avoided her eye. ‘Yes, or I would be if our guests were all here.’
‘You were like this before, though, in fact, you’ve been like it all week. Is there something I can help you with?’
‘Not unless you can miraculously make our guests appear.’ He eyed the room, hoping for the umpteenth time he’d just missed them in the crowd, but he knew deep down he hadn’t. He’d know with every fibre of his being if Malie was in the room.
Was she going to bail on the evening? Were they both going to? Had she said something to Kalani to make him pull out?
Surely not. Not when the surf school’s work with the charity was so important. But then, why else would they not be here? Perhaps he should ring her, or ring Kalani at least. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, was about to look up his number when a ping came from Grace’s tablet.
She glanced at her screen, her smile instant. ‘Kalani’s car has just pulled up.’
He felt the tension ease from his body. ‘Thank goodness.’
She sent him a funny look and he knew she’d likely spied more than just the professional in his relief, but she didn’t comment on it, instead she suggested, ‘Why don’t you get started on the welcome speech and I’ll hurry them through?’
He nodded, calmer this time.
‘I’ll get the musicians to introduce you.’
He nodded again, took another sip of champagne but he didn’t taste it, didn’t even feel it go down, he was already preparing himself for seeing her. He had to get this speech right, he had to thank her for her work, he had to make her see that as far as their shared passion went, they’d achieved something to be proud of and to set aside the personal.
He barely heard the introduction; in fact, he was barely aware of the words coming out of his own mouth as he spoke about the Foundation, something that he could do in his sleep. Anything from elevator pitches to the full-on nitty gritty, he knew it all, because Fun For All was his baby and the past three weeks had been a huge milestone in its progress.
Not so much for his heart.
He scanned the crowd as he spoke, resting on certain individuals who had played a role, be it in the organization, the funding, the support workers, the parents – Tara’s parents. He paused, they looked so happy, so different to that first day on the island and he took a breath. It’s not all bad. So why did he feel so lost, so unfulfilled?
The main doors pushed open and his heart skipped a beat, his eyes landing on the arrivals, only to have it sink in his chest. Kalani and Grace. No Malie.
He was about to look away, to get back on track when Kalani and Grace stepped away from the door and a flash of red pulled him back. Malie?
Words failed him, the world tuning out as all he could see was her.
She looked hesitant, her eyes flitting about the room as she entered. Her hair had been tamed into a fountain of curls that spilled from up high, framing her face, teasing over her bare shoulders. Red silk wrapped around her upper body, enhancing her curves, her small waist, and from there the view disappeared behind the crowd.
She was breathtakingly beautiful and now everyone was looking at her, curious as to what had caught his eye and silenced him.
She gave a nervous smile to the room as the doors closed behind her.
‘Sorry we’re late,’ she said, lifting her shoulders in a self-conscious gesture and giving a little wave of her fingers. He could see the colour creeping into her cheeks, feel her embarrassment across the room.
‘Not at all, you’re right on time,’ he assured her. ‘I was just about to tell the room all about you, come up here, Malie.’
The crowd murmured as they parted for her, the men virtually drooling, the women beaming. There was no jealousy from the latter and normally it would surprise him. But not with Malie. All these guests knew of her already and his speech was just going to reiterate all that they loved about her. Loved – no one loved her like he did, however.
He cut the thought dead and forced his smile to be warm, trying to ease the weariness he could spy in her gaze as she joined him. It wasn’t nerves, it wasn’t embarrassment, not anymore. She was trying to read him, to understand where they stood.
He broke away and gestured for a nearby waitress to bring her a glass.
Malie took it from the tray, with a small, ‘Thank you.’
‘No one said I’d be made to stand up front,’ she said between her teeth, smiling at the room.
She smoothed her dress down with her free hand and he traced the move, seeing that the red silk fell to the floor with a split that ran all the way up to her thigh – he snapped his eyes to her face as his body warmed and swallowed. Her eyes were almost level with his, which meant her heels were high – he’d never seen her in heels. He couldn’t stop himself looking down past the gentle curve of her behind to the delicate point of one heel just visible beneath the hem of her dress and he swallowed again.
‘Please tell me you’re not waiting for me to speak,’ she murmured, ‘I haven’t prepared anything.’
He pulled his eyes back to her face, to her flushed cheeks and bright green eyes that twinkled in the soft lighting of the room and laughed, the sound low and husky with the need he couldn’t shake.
‘You’re safe, I just want you up here while I thank you.’
She glanced at him, her eyes piercing and full of so much… so much what? He couldn’t tell. He couldn’t read her – and how it frustrated him.
He gave up and scanned the waiting crowd, shutting that side of him down to do what he was good at. He was Todd Masters, the guy who headed up a charity foundation and a billion-pound firm, he could talk about the woman who had changed the lives of these kids for the better in just three weeks. He could do her justice.
‘So, ladies and gentlemen, some of you have already met this incredibly talented woman and for those of you who haven’t, this is Malie Pukui.’ He smiled at her vibrant beauty and tried to make his heart immune. ‘She’s
the person we have to thank for the progress each and every child on the programme has made over the course of the last three weeks.’
He raised his glass to her as he continued on, ‘I’m sure many of you have heard a tale or two about her by now, even if you haven’t had the pleasure of meeting her in person. She’s someone who has the greatest belief in our cause, giving young lives hope for the future regardless of the path on which they tread. Her passion, her determination, rubs off on those around her, making them realize they are capable of so much, if they just try and don’t give in. She gives them courage in the face of adversity. She makes them smile when they feel glum. She makes them feel alive and capable of living. Real living. In a world that isn’t as inclusive as we’d like, but one in which we can work together to make it so.’
He met her eye and could feel the heart behind his speech pour into that one look. ‘To Malie Pukui, and the surf school for their fantastic efforts to make not just this venture a success but many, many more to come!’
He lifted his glass in toast and the room cheered. ‘To Malie Pukui.’
Yes, to Malie Pukui, the woman who had stolen his heart and yet he couldn’t win hers.
She turned to him, her eyes glistening. ‘Thank you, Todd…’ Her voice quivered with emotion and then she dragged in a shaky breath and smiled to the room, visibly composing herself. ‘Thank you all, too. I couldn’t do it without the awesome pool of kids coming to my sessions and the support of the surf school itself. In particular, the school’s owner, my godfather, Kalani… Don’t try and hide now, Kalani.’
Sure enough, the big guy was trying to duck behind tall, slim Grace and failing miserably. The room all toasted him with their glasses and a mixture of laughter and cheers.
‘I think you’ve made him blush,’ Todd murmured close to her ear.
She shivered a little, and he watched the tiny tremor in the curls that brushed over the nape of her neck, his fingers itching to brush them aside, to wrap one around his finger, to whisper closer to her ear all the things he felt, all the things he wanted…
Meet Me in Hawaii Page 24
