In Finn's Heart

by Roxie Rivera

  "You can ride up front with me."

  Finn followed the gurney out to the ambulance. He noticed the members of the building's staff standing vigil on the sidelines, all of them clearly worried for a woman he sensed might be one of their favorite residents. Standing next to the gurney, he squeezed her hand before they loaded her into the box. "I'm right here, Hadley."

  She weakly squeezed his hand and closed her eyes. Feeling the rush of adrenaline that had fed his body for the last ten minutes fade, he climbed onto the front seat and fastened his seatbelt. While he waited for the fireman who would be driving to join him in the cab, Finn used Hadley's phone to contact her parents. It was the very last phone call he had ever wanted to make.

  "Hadley! You're missing the best part of the night!" Eddie Rivera bellowed in to the phone, his voice filled with happiness. "They just cut the cake."

  "Eddie, it's Finn."

  "Finn? What's wrong?"

  "You need to meet us at Memorial Hermann. Hadley had a strange episode. I called 9-1-1. We're in an ambulance right now."

  "We'll be there as soon as possible."

  The line went dead, and Finn closed his eyes as he imagined the fear and turmoil her parents would experience now. Before tucking away her phone, he sent a text message to Coby. She had ducked out of the reception after dinner to go to work at Faze. She might not even see the message until early morning, but he wanted her to know as soon as possible.

  It was a blur from the moment the fireman punched the gas and flicked on his siren. The screaming wail and the flashing lights brought back unwanted memories. He heard snippets of the conversation in the back of the box. Every time a medic spoke, he tensed and expected the worst.

  In no time at all, they were pulling into the emergency room ambulance bay. He stood out of the way as she was unloaded but made sure she could see him again. Trailing the gurney, he hugged a wall in the corner of the room while doctors and nurses filed in and out of the space. She was poked, prodded and received more medication. The terrified look on her face just killed him. It left him feeling weak and impotent. He wanted to gather her close and make all this bullshit go away.

  "Where is my daughter?" Eddie Rivera's voice carried across the busy ER.

  Finn stepped out of the room and lifted his hand, waving it to get Eddie's attention. The Rivera patriarch strode toward him. Before Eddie could speak, a nurse tersely informed them, "Only one family member at a time."

  "You should stay with her." Finn gestured to the room. He had done all he could. Hadley needed a medical advocate at her side who knew her complicated history. "She needs you right now."

  Eddie stopped him before he had taken even two steps. He squeezed Finn's shoulder. "I’m glad you were with her tonight."

  "So am I."

  Eddie patted his back. "She'll be all right, son."

  Nodding at Eddie and refusing to believe anything else, he left the emergency room and entered the waiting room just in time to see Dom and Tres rushing inside. They exchange stares before Dom gestured to a trio of open seats in a quiet corner. He joined the two Rivera brothers and took the seat next to Dom. His choice earned an amused glance from Tres.

  The youngest Rivera brother spoke first. "Hadley told Dom about her heart problems earlier tonight. He filled me in on the drive over here."

  Dom cracked his battered knuckles. "What happened?"

  He didn't take offense to Dom's gruff tone. "She had an episode of her arrhythmia. It was different than the others so I called for an ambulance."

  "What triggered it?" Dom wondered. Finn hesitated a moment too long to answer. The roughest of the Rivera men actually looked embarrassed. A flush spread along his neck. "Oh." With an angered growl, he snarled, "It's a good thing we're sitting in an ER. You'll be able to limp in for an x-ray when I'm done kicking your ass."

  "Dom!" Aghast, Tres whacked his brother on the head. "Dude!"

  Too late, Dom realized what he had said. An expression of genuine regret crossed his face. "Hey, Finn, man, I didn't mean it like that. It wasn't a rag on your leg."

  Glad to see the rocker was all bark and no bite, he waved his hand. "It's fine. I've heard it all."

  "No, it's not. Hadley cares about you, and I respect that. I respect you. What you gave? It's not a joke, man. I'm sorry."

  "We're all right," Finn assured him.

  "I don't know why you're always such a caveman about protecting Hadley, Dom." Tres frowned at his brother. "She's an adult. Let her have some fun."

  "She's our baby sister."

  "And how many little sisters have you fucked while on tour? How many angry brothers have I had to chase away from the tour bus or a hotel room?"

  "That's different."

  "You're a jackass."

  "And you're a—"

  "Hey," Finn cut in and gestured to their surroundings.

  Both men grumbled but stayed quiet for a while.

  Tres laughed. "Can you imagine Dad's face when he hears what Hadley was up to before her heart went haywire?" Shooting Finn a look, he warned, "You might want to start carrying a piece. When he finds out you were corrupting his innocent baby girl, he's going to sic Hector on you."

  The reminder of Hector Salas wasn't a welcome one. Finn pretended not to know who Hector was but found himself wondering when the cartel henchman would contact him again. With his luck, it would be very soon.

  "You want a soda?" Dom smacked his arm to get his attention. "I’m making a vending machine run."

  "Sure."

  When they were alone, Tres patted Finn's back. "Hadley is a tough girl. She'll pull through this. She always does."

  It was the always does part that scared Finn the most. How many times could the woman he was falling hopelessly in love with beat the odds?

  Chapter Twelve

  I woke up in my least favorite place—a hospital room. Without moving, I took quick stock of the situation. I wasn't intubated and my chest didn't hurt so I figured I hadn't gone into surgery yet. Flashes of the night raced through my mind. Dancing with Finn. Talking to Dom. Making love to Finn. The phantom elephant crushing my chest. The medication that made my heart stop. The exhaustion that dragged me down as my father held my hand.

  My gaze moved around the room. My parents were curled up together on the long couch along the far wall of my room. Daddy was still in his tuxedo, and Mama's beautiful dress was a rumpled mess. I glanced to my right and found Finn sitting in the chair next to my bed, his tired eyes watching me. He hadn't spoken yet, and I sensed he had been waiting for me to find him.

  With the stealth that had served him so well in war, Finn rose from the chair and stood next to my bed. He clasped my hand and leaned down to press a tender kiss to my forehead. I was sure my makeup had smeared and my hair was a mess, but Finn gazed down at me as if I were the most beautiful woman in the whole wild world.

  His voice barely a whisper, he said, "You scared the shit out of me last night."

  I smiled at his crude description. Voice scratchy, I whispered, "I scared the shit out of myself."

  "Don’t ever do that again."

  "I'll try." He lowered his head as if he meant to kiss me, but I turned my face. "Finn, I have morning breath."

  He turned my face. "I don't care."

  Our lips touched, and I felt so alive. My heart monitor audibly recorded my response to Finn's kiss, the beats bleeping faster. We broke apart smiling.

  A cleared throat alerted me to the fact that my mother was wide awake and watching us. Finn and I exchanged embarrassed glances, but it was my father's sleepy voice that made us laugh.

  "At least if they get carried away like they did last night, we've got a full staff of cardiologists down the hall."

  "Eddie!" My mother playfully smacked his leg. "Don't encourage them!"

  His eyes closed and his arm thrown across his face, my father laughed. "Of all of our kids, Silly, I think Hadley is the least of our worries." He groaned as he sat up. "God, Silly girl, I'm getting too
old for sleeping on couches."

  "Silly?" Finn mouthed the nickname my father had for my mother. I shrugged and wondered what name my brothers or father would pick for him once he was fully welcomed into the fold.

  A timid knock at the door announced Coby and Tres. I didn’t miss the excited look my mother exchanged with my father upon seeing the pair together. In the last year, she had gotten it into her head that they would make a perfect couple. Unfortunately, those two hadn't gotten the message. No matter how many times she tried to drag me into setting them up, I steadfastly refused.

  Coby looked relieved to see me. She held up a drink holder containing steaming coffees and a box of donuts. "We grabbed a quick breakfast for everyone."

  "And clothes and toiletries for Hadley," Tres said, lifting a pair of bags. His gaze shifted to Finn. "I would have run by your place to grab something for you, but I didn't know where you lived. There wasn't anything of yours at Hadley's either."

  It might have been my imagination, but my mother seemed to relax upon learning that we weren’t straight-up shacking up yet. Mama thanked Tres and Coby for being so kind and sorted out the coffees and donuts. She hesitated before letting me have anything. "We should probably wait until the doctors do rounds before you eat."

  "I'm fine." I was starving actually, but I understood her concern. "Could someone ask one of the nurses if I can have something to drink? Even ice chips would be better than nothing."

  "I'll go," Coby offered and disappeared from the room. A short time later, she returned with a small cup and a pitcher and Dom hot on her heels. "They said you can drink. You aren't on the surgery schedule so they're pretty sure you're okay to eat."

  "I'll wait." Mix-ups happened all the times in hospitals. I didn't want to be one of them.

  My parents and Finn were halfway through their cups of coffee and donuts when a team of surgeons and cardiologists led by Dr. Rae entered my room. She came in with her usual sunny disposition, but I could see the concern tightening the corners of her mouth. Coming to stand next to me, she patted my hand. "I hear you gave everyone quite a scare last night."

  "It's a gift," I murmured.

  She laughed softly and then gestured to the team that came with her. "My colleagues and I have discussed your case. What happened last night was very serious and, frankly, unexpected after you've reported only mild episodes. We're concerned that delaying surgery too long puts you at a greater risk of developing complications."

  "Like death?" I said what everyone was thinking but no one was brave enough to voice. Cutting right to the chase, I asked, "When do you want to operate?"

  "Tomorrow morning," she said. "You'll be the first case. We'll take you in around seven and hopefully have you out by one or two in the afternoon. You'll spend ten to fourteen days in the hospital."

  As Dr. Rae began to discuss the pros and cons of the different valves and pacemakers available to me, I started to zone out. Everyone was talking around me while I silently sat there and clung to Finn's hand. Whether I chose pacemaker A or the cow valve over the pig valve, this surgery was happening. Feeling powerless, I accepted that what I really wanted—to be healthy and normal—was never going to happen.

  Finn must have felt me slipping into apathy. He caressed my hand and brushed his fingertips up and down my arm. The ticklish sensation drew me back to the present. Everyone else in the room was focused on Dr. Rae and the resident who were talking pacemakers, but Finn focused solely on me.

  I was reminded of the promise he had made to me after my cath procedure. I'll take care of you.

  He tucked wayward strands of hair behind my ear and rubbed my earlobe between his fingers. In the back of my mind, I wondered where my jewelry was but figured the nurses had removed it when I had been admitted. Hopefully it had found its way back to Mama or Daddy for safekeeping.

  "So, Hadley, what do you think?"

  Because I had already been researching my options, I was able to talk to Dr. Rae without making her repeat everything she had just said. We settled on the valve and pacemaker that was best, and I was given my surgery instructions, including my food and water intake cutoff time later that evening.

  When the surgical team left, my family, Coby and Finn stared at me. They all seemed to be waiting for me to speak. "Well," I said with an exaggerated breath, "if I'm going to be on hospital rations for the next two weeks, I want a freaking steak for lunch and a hamburger for dinner."

  Dom grinned at me. "I'll handle that, Munchie."

  "I'll pack whatever you need from the penthouse," Coby offered. "Just make me a list."

  "I can drive you, Coby" Tres said helpfully.

  "Thanks, Tres." Without a car of her own, she typically used her bike, her MetroRail pass or a cab. Her Faze contract provided her with a driver for the nights she worked so she didn't have to worry about running into trouble.

  "Your mother and I will organize the hospital shifts." No doubt Daddy would be breaking out his colored markers and schedules to ensure that I was never alone in the hospital.

  "I'll handle the arts center," Mama assured me. "I'm sure we can find enough volunteers to cover your classes."

  "Call Vivian Kalasnikov," I suggested. "Her number is on my desk at the center. She's super fantastic, and she's always willing to help. You might see if Abby Kirkwood will host a beginner photography class one night."

  "I'll talk to them," Mama promised.

  "So, Finn," my father said, "that leaves you to concentrate on Hadley. Whatever she needs—"

  "I'll make sure she gets it."

  Pleased, my father nodded. With everyone assigned their tasks, the room cleared out slowly. Dom and Tres were the first to leave after Coby said that she would stay. My parents headed out next to go home to shower, change and begin making arrangements. Finn lingered the longest, but even he finally bid me farewell with a heated kiss and an embrace that soothed me right to the core.

  Alone with Coby, I fixed the lumpy pillows and leaned back against them. She brought the box of donuts closer and let me pick out a fluffy one covered in powdered sugar and filled with raspberry crème. She dropped the box on the rolling table and hopped up onto the foot of my bed.

  "So," she said with a mischievous smile, "what exactly did Finn do that made your heart go crazy like a hummingbird's? Because, damn, he should patent that move and write a book or something."

  I choked on my donut, and Coby cackled with glee.

  "But, really," she said with interest. "How did it go?"

  With a cloud of powdered sugar dust between us, I sighed and smiled. "It was fantastic."

  She practically bounced up and down. "Start at the beginning!"

  "Well, first we…"

  * * *

  Finn stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. He stared at his reflection in the foggy mirror. Dark circles under his eyes and stubble on his cheeks betrayed his exhaustion. He answered a knock at the door and found his father waiting with a cup of coffee.

  "I thought you could use this. Your friend is making breakfast for you."

  "Conn doesn't need to do that."

  "He knows." The old man leaned against the door frame. "I heard you talking to Jack. He's right. You should take as much time as you need. The gym means nothing. It's your family and this girl that matter."

  Finn couldn't believe his father was giving him advice that he had never seen fit to follow himself. Shocking him even more, the old man added, "I'm moving out next week. I signed a lease on Friday."

  "Where?"

  "It's not far from here. A townhouse," he said. "The rent is cheap. The neighborhood seems quiet."

  "That's good, Pop."

  "Jack damned near danced a jig in the kitchen this morning."

  "I'm sure he did," Finn said with a snorting laugh. Though he had found it within himself to forgive their father for all he had done, Jack and Kelly were a long way from reaching that point.

  "I'm heading to Mass and then to my meetings.
If you need anything, you let me know. I'm here for you."

  The words his father finally spoke were words he had wanted to hear for years. Better late than never, he supposed. Between sips of coffee, he shaved his stubble and brushed his teeth. Done with his morning routine, he moved into his bedroom to pack a bag. He had avoided hospitals since his discharge from Walter Reed and wasn't looking forward to spending two weeks in one. For Hadley's sake, he wouldn't complain.

  "Hey," Conn appeared in the open doorway of the bedroom with a foil wrapped square. "Here. It's hot. Thought you might want to eat and drive."

  Finn caught the breakfast sandwich and hissed. It was searing hot. "Thanks, man."

  "Do you need anything? I can come to the hospital to keep you company or run errands for you."

  "I'm fine today, but later this week, I'm sure I could use your help."

  "I'll be here." Conn watched him pack. "I'm going to visit Dimitri Stepanov on Wednesday."

  "Yeah? I thought you said you were done with private security?"

  "I'm done with mercenary work, but I hear that Russian runs a clean firm. It's good work. Easy work," he added. "I think this," he gestured to his scarred face, "will be my only problem getting an assignment."

  Finn frowned. "Your record and your skills are what they're paying you for, Conn."

  He issued a harsh laugh and started to say something, but the ringing doorbell interrupted them. "I'll go."

  Finn finished packing and tore into the egg and bacon sandwich Conn had cooked for him. He was working on a big bite when Conn returned with a strange look on his face and an envelope in his hand. Finn swallowed his mouthful. "What's that?"

  "No idea, mate." He brought the envelope to Finn but gave it a shake before handing it over. "It's not very heavy. I opened the door, and it was on the welcome mat."

  Finn studied the envelope. It didn’t have a return address on it. His name was printed on the front in block letters. A sinking feeling in his stomach, he opened the envelope and discovered a business card with a key taped to it. The card was for one of those mailbox stores. The box number was on the back.