Wife for Hire

by Dianne Blacklock

  When they got back to the agency, Sam followed the realtor inside and Hal said he’d wait at the car. She left her details and walked back out into the street. Hal had the newspaper spread out on the bonnet of the car and was studying it closely. He had been indefatigable. He had continued to be polite to the agents well after they had started to grate on Sam. And somehow he’d managed to put a positive spin on every house they inspected. It couldn’t have been much fun for him but he’d acted as though he was enjoying himself. Sam appreciated him being there more than she’d expected.

  ‘No more houses,’ she protested, walking towards him.

  ‘But there may be a couple –’

  ‘No,’ she said firmly. ‘I’m depressed enough for one day. Come on, I’ll shout you lunch instead.’

  ‘Excuse me?’

  ‘I’ll shout you lunch,’ Sam repeated. She considered Hal’s blank expression. ‘I’ll buy you lunch,’ she said slowly.

  ‘Oh, okay,’ he nodded.

  ‘Poor Hal,’ Sam grinned, walking around to the driver’s side of the car. ‘You must wander around in a constant state of confusion.’

  ‘Well, if you guys would just speak English . . .’

  Sam climbed into her seat. ‘We speak the Queen’s English in fact,’ she informed him. ‘Not the bastardised hybrid y’all speak over yonder in your neck of the woods.’

  Hal laughed loudly, shaking his head.

  ‘It’s sass,’ Sam grinned. ‘I’m getting good at it, don’t you think?’

  ‘Oh, you’re remarkably good,’ he smiled. ‘You’ve got it down to a fine art.’

  ‘Why thank you,’ Sam returned. ‘Now, what do you feel like eating?’

  Hal shrugged. ‘Is there such a thing as Australian cuisine?’

  ‘Is there such a thing!’ Sam scoffed. She drummed her hands on the steering wheel, thinking. ‘Ever had a real hamburger?’

  ‘Hate to shatter your delusions, Skippy, but we have burgers in the US. In fact, you know, I think we even invented them.’

  Sam started up the engine. ‘I’m not talking about that plastic assembly-line pap you try to pass off as real food. I’m talking about an authentic Australian burger.’

  ‘What’s the difference?’

  ‘You’ll see.’

  It took Sam longer than she expected to find the kind of outlet that would serve a true Australian hamburger. She could have picked cuisine from just about any country in the world, but she was hard-pressed to find a regular hamburger shop. There were burgers made with gourmet marinated meats, served with exotic condiments and roasted vegetables on specialty breads, or else there were the health food variety made with lentils, nutmeat or variations of tofu. She finally found a place tucked away in an industrial area, where she ordered them a burger each and chips, not fries she pointed out to Hal. They sat in a booth at a laminex table and Hal considered his hamburger warily.

  ‘What’s the red stuff?’

  ‘Beetroot.’

  ‘Beetroot? On a hamburger?’

  ‘It’s better than pickle. I’ve never met a kid who eats the slice of pickle McDonald’s puts on their burgers.’

  ‘But beets?’ he said, curling his lip and eyeing his burger suspiciously.

  ‘That, more than anything else, is what makes it Australian,’ she informed him, before biting into hers.

  ‘You’re kidding me?’

  She shook her head, swallowing down a mouthful. ‘A few years ago, McDonald’s put an Australian version on their menu and it was so popular they couldn’t keep up with the demand. There wasn’t enough beetroot being produced in the country. They had to withdraw it until they had a two-year surplus from farms dedicated entirely to the production of beetroot. It’s a regular item on the menu now.’

  ‘Well you’re certainly a fountain of useless information.’

  ‘And here I was thinking I was entertaining and fun to be with.’

  He looked at her for a moment. ‘I’m not arguing with that.’

  Sam smiled shyly. ‘Tell me something,’ she said, changing the subject. ‘Why are you here?’

  ‘Because you wanted me to try one of your burgers.’

  ‘No, I mean why are you in Australia?’

  ‘Oh,’ he nodded. ‘It’s classified. I can’t tell you unless you have CIA clearance.’

  ‘You’re such a goose,’ said Sam.

  ‘And yet I just agreed that you’re entertaining and fun to be with.’

  Sam shrugged. ‘So are you going to answer me?’

  ‘I forgot the question.’

  ‘What are you doing here in Australia?’

  ‘I’m on a contract –’

  ‘I know that,’ Sam persisted. ‘But why would you come all the way to the other side of the world? You must be able to get work in the US?’

  ‘Sure. I just wanted to see where I was born.’

  ‘That’s it?’

  ‘Pretty much.’

  Sam watched him take a bite of his burger and chew it gingerly. ‘Sorry,’ he said, lifting the top of the bun and removing the offending crimson slice. ‘I’m not taking to this beet burger idea.’

  ‘You were married once, didn’t you say?’ Sam said, resuming her line of questioning.

  He nodded, rearranging his burger.

  ‘When did you break up?’

  Hal looked at her. ‘So, let me get this straight. Your private life is out of bounds, but mine isn’t?’

  ‘My husband left me for another woman. I told you that already and there’s nothing much more to it. So what about you?’

  He shrugged. ‘It didn’t work out.’

  ‘That’s a peculiar phrase,’ said Sam. ‘Very American.’

  He frowned. ‘Yes, only Americans have ever used the phrase “it didn’t work out”.’

  ‘I mean to describe a whole marriage breaking down. “It didn’t work out” sounds like you’re talking about a soufflé that didn’t rise.’

  ‘Maybe it’s a way of saying that you don’t want to talk about it,’ he said tightly, not making eye contact.

  Sam’s heart dropped into her stomach. She could see the pain in his expression. ‘I apologise. That was completely inappropriate, it’s none of my business.’

  He still couldn’t look at her. Now it was going to be awkward between them. Why did she keep doing this? She only seemed to open her mouth around Hal to change feet.

  ‘It’s just,’ she tried to explain, ‘well, you know, you told me you hadn’t met anyone and that’s why you asked me to partner you to those functions, and then, once I met you I knew very well you wouldn’t have any trouble finding a date, and well, it was Max actually, she said “Oh come on, he’d only have to click his fingers . . .”’

  Hal was frowning curiously at her.

  ‘Oh, I’m not explaining myself very well, so what’s new about that?’ she said breathlessly. ‘It’s just that I thought there had to be some other reason why you weren’t dating. You’re handsome and single and straight – I mean, I presume you’re straight,’ she added quickly.

  He nodded, considering her. ‘I thought you said I wasn’t that good-looking?’

  Sam could see the smile in his eyes. ‘That’s right, I did. It was Max who said you were handsome.’

  The smile broke on his lips now, and it seemed she’d been forgiven.

  ‘I’m going to order a coffee,’ Hal said. ‘Do you want one?’

  Sam considered him warily. ‘Haven’t I taken up enough of your time . . .’

  ‘Have a coffee with me,’ he said quietly.

  ‘Okay,’ she nodded.

  Hal stepped up to the counter and ordered. He returned to the booth and sat back, clearing his throat.

  ‘Lisa and I met at the Microsoft campus in Seattle.’

  ‘Who’s Lisa?’

  ‘My wife.’

  ‘Hal, you don’t have to tell me this –’

  He held up his hand to stop her. ‘I know that.’ He took a breath. ‘Anyway, she was my
assistant. She was young, beautiful, ambitious. And she was smart. Way smarter than me, but she hadn’t had the same breaks.’

  ‘Because she was a woman?’

  Hal shook his head. ‘Not so much. It was her background. She’d never been to college. She didn’t know who her father was, her mother was an addict. There’d been some sexual abuse, her mom’s boyfriends. I don’t know how she survived everything she went through. But she was tough, she pretty much brought herself up. And she was determined to have a better life. I guess I was her ticket to that better life.’

  Their coffees arrived and Sam watched, trying to be patient as Hal added sugar to his cup, stirred it slowly and then took a tentative sip.

  ‘So you’re saying she used you?’ she said finally, prompting him to go on.

  ‘I allowed myself to be used,’ he replied. ‘I liked the whole idea that I was rescuing her, that I could make her happy. Men have knight-in-shining-armour fantasies too, you know,’ he added sheepishly.

  ‘What went wrong?’

  Hal shrugged. ‘Something shifted after a while. I’d been ambitious, for her sake, but I started to lose interest in the work, while Lisa was going from strength to strength. We grew apart, we didn’t seem to have much in common any more . . .’

  There was nothing in the marriage vows to cover bored, distant, or even ‘nothing in common’. Yet that’s what did it most of the time. Sam looked at Hal. He was staring into his cup, the pain had crept back into his expression. There was something else, something worse.

  Eventually he spoke, his voice low. ‘I was away on business, and I came back a day or two early, it was the middle of the week. Lisa was home when I got to the apartment. She said she was sick. But I’d known her to work through the flu, through anything, she never took time off.’ He paused. ‘She finally admitted she’d had an abortion the day before. She’d waited till I was out of town, because she didn’t want to involve me.’

  ‘Not involve you?’ Sam blurted before she could help herself.

  Hal looked up at her then. ‘See, she wasn’t sure if it was mine, so . . .’ His voice faded.

  Sam covered her mouth with her hand. She felt like crying, she could feel the tears stinging behind her eyes. She bit on the edge of her thumb to contain herself.

  ‘You’ll be thinking all Americans belong on Ricki Lake after all,’ he said after a while.

  ‘No, I don’t think that at all,’ Sam said in a small voice. ‘I was just thinking, how does a person get over something like that?’

  His lips formed a slight, self-conscious smile. ‘They flee to the other side of the world.’

  Sam looked at him. ‘That’s when you came here?’

  ‘Not right away. I took a contract in New York first. Then this job in Australia came up.’

  They sat quietly for a while. Sam had a dozen questions buzzing around in her head. Had they been planning to have a child? Was Lisa sleeping around, or was there someone in particular? Was she with the guy now? But none of that was any of her business and to ask Hal would be like picking away at a particularly painful sore.

  ‘So I presume this is why you’re not dating at the moment,’ Sam said rhetorically.

  ‘I’m giving my battered heart a rest.’ He shook his head, smiling ruefully. ‘Okay, I’m going to stop now before I start sounding like a country and western song.’

  ‘Too late,’ Sam quipped. Then she cringed. ‘Sorry, I have this mouth that comes out with things before I’ve really thought them through.’

  He smiled. ‘I’ve noticed.’

  She considered him thoughtfully. ‘Why did you tell me all that?’

  ‘So you’d know,’ he said simply.

  And so she wouldn’t harangue him with any more questions. She took the hint.

  ‘Well, I completely understand about the whole dating thing,’ Sam said. ‘My friends keep saying I should put myself out there.’ She grimaced. ‘But I can’t face it.’

  ‘Think of all the guys you’re disappointing,’ Hal said, shaking his head.

  Sam grinned. ‘Yes, I know, the waiting list is getting out of hand, you can imagine. I have to go through it and sort out the ones who want me for my money from the ones who just want me for my body.’

  That idea really amused her, and she laughed out loud. But when she glanced across at Hal he had a curious look in his eyes. He held her gaze for a moment longer than was comfortable. Sam was sure her face had turned the colour of the discarded beetroot slice on his plate. She picked up her coffee cup and held it to her lips, sipping slowly, giving her something to hide behind.

  He leaned forward after a while, claiming her attention. ‘So, do you have a Plan B?’

  ‘Hmm?’

  ‘To find a house.’

  Sam sighed heavily, setting her cup down in its saucer. ‘I’ll either have to borrow more money or look further out, I guess.’

  ‘I hope your ex is doing the right thing by you,’ Hal said seriously.

  ‘He is,’ she assured him. ‘And we have equity in the house. I was just hoping to minimise my debt. It’s a little daunting taking out a mortgage on your own with three kids.’

  ‘I can imagine.’ He paused. ‘How do they feel about moving? The kids, I mean.’

  Sam took a deep breath. ‘That’s a good question. I’ll let you know.’

  June

  Sam decided that living close to the city had to be her priority, so she needed to stretch her budget as far as she could. And she wouldn’t really know that until their house was sold. That meant telling the children.

  She asked Maxine over for moral support and sat the older two down after Ellie had gone to bed. Sam didn’t want her to witness any of their histrionics. She could tell her once the others had come to terms with it.

  ‘Move!’ Jessica almost shrieked. ‘Why do we have to move?’

  ‘Because we can’t afford to stay here.’

  ‘This is because of Dad, isn’t it?’ Josh muttered grimly.

  ‘Well, it’s because of a lot of reasons, Josh. Your father’s paying more than his fair share at the moment. But he can’t keep that up indefinitely.’

  ‘Why not?’ Josh persisted. ‘He’s the one who pissed off.’

  ‘Josh, mind your language,’ said Sam, trying to sound firm. ‘This house is too big, it’s too much for me to maintain on my own.’

  Jessica eyed her sceptically. ‘Do we have to move far? Will I be able to stay at my school?’

  Here was the rub. Sam glanced at Max, whose eyes clamoured ‘Don’t look at me’.

  ‘I need to be closer to my clients, and they live mostly around the city, the eastern suburbs –’

  ‘So we could move to Bondi!’ exclaimed Jessica, her eyes lighting up.

  ‘No, we wouldn’t be able to afford Bondi, Jess.’

  Her face fell again.

  ‘What about football?’ said Josh.

  ‘They play football all over Sydney, Josh.’

  ‘Yeah, but it’s midseason. I can’t just leave in the middle of the comp.’

  ‘It’ll be at least a few months before we actually move. You’ll be able to see the season out.’

  ‘So where are we moving to?’ Jessica whined.

  Sam took a deep breath. ‘I’m looking around the inner western suburbs.

  ‘Where?’ Jess frowned.

  ‘Places like Leichhardt, or Erskineville, though they’re a little out of our price range.’

  ‘That’s the other side of the bridge,’ said Josh darkly. ‘It’s friggin’ miles away.’ He got up and walked towards the doorway.

  ‘Josh . . .’

  ‘This sucks, Mum,’ he muttered, leaving the room. A minute later they heard his door slam upstairs.

  Sam looked back at Jess. She was scowling. ‘So I’m just supposed to leave all my friends?’

  That didn’t seem to bother her when she thought they were moving to Bondi.

  ‘You’ll make new friends –’

  ‘Oh right, wi
th tea-towel heads?’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Tea-towel heads. Mussos. Wogs. Whatever you want to call them.’

  ‘I don’t want to call them any such thing!’ Sam exclaimed. ‘Don’t speak like that in my house, Jessica!’

  ‘It’s not your house, Mum!’ she shrilled, standing up. ‘If it was your house, then we wouldn’t have to move!’ She stormed off. They heard her silly rubber scuffs thwacking on the stairs as she ran up to her bedroom.

  ‘Well,’ Max sighed. ‘That went well.’

  Sam looked at her. ‘I can’t believe a child of mine is a racist. I didn’t teach her to be racist.’

  ‘But did you teach her anything different?’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘All your friends and their friends are white middle class. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. But they haven’t known any different.’

  ‘Well I can’t stand that she thinks like that,’ Sam said determinedly. ‘The move will do them good.’

  Sunday

  ‘Have you got a minute?’ said Jeff, wavering at the front door when he dropped the children home.

  Oh, what now?

  ‘I guess,’ Sam answered vaguely.

  ‘Let’s walk?’ he suggested. ‘You know, out of earshot.’

  Sam looked at him. What was this about? ‘Okay.’

  She pulled the door closed and stepped off the porch. They strolled along the grassy kerb past a couple of houses, not saying anything. He seemed to be deep in thought. Sam decided to prompt him. ‘What did you want to talk about, Jeff?’

  He hesitated. ‘The kids told me about your plans.’

  She nodded. ‘I wasn’t keeping them from you.’

  ‘I know that.’ He paused, rubbing the back of his neck. Something was making him uncomfortable. ‘They’re not very happy, I guess you realise that. They asked me to talk to you.’

  Sam frowned. ‘What do you want to say?’

  ‘Is there something we can work out about the money? Maybe you could stay in the house.’