Wife for Hire

by Dianne Blacklock

  ‘And you would have said no.’

  ‘That’s unfair, Jeff. I haven’t always liked all of your ideas, but I’ve accepted them when you’ve insisted. Jessica’s mobile phone, for example.’

  He looked sheepish.

  ‘I don’t expect you to seek my permission or approval for what you do with the kids, that was just my anger speaking.’ Sam paused. ‘I do trust you, Jeff. In fact, I think you’re a better father now than you were when we were together.’

  ‘Thanks. I happen to agree with you.’

  ‘I just feel I still have a right to take part in deciding,’ she continued, ‘or at least knowing about what they’re doing when they’re with you, especially if it’s something new or out of the ordinary. And the same goes for you,’ she added. ‘There’s so much we should be discussing. What they’re allowed to watch on TV, curfews –’

  ‘I thought you said you trusted me?’

  ‘I do,’ she insisted. ‘That’s the point. I want your input.’

  ‘You didn’t seem to want it while we were together.’

  ‘You didn’t offer it.’

  ‘Touché,’ he smiled.

  ‘The thing is, we’re still their parents, we have to have a relationship. I think we should be more honest, or less wary with one another.’

  ‘I’d like that.’ He took a deep breath. ‘I’ve missed you, Sam.’

  ‘What?’ She looked incredulous.

  ‘I have,’ he insisted. ‘I mean, I don’t want to get back together or anything. But I miss having you as a friend.’

  Sam considered him thoughtfully. ‘Were we ever friends, Jeff?’

  ‘I think we were.’ He paused. ‘A long time ago.’ He set his cup down on the coffee table. ‘You know, I’ve always loved this table. Remember when we got it?’

  ‘Do you?’ she frowned.

  ‘Sure,’ he nodded. ‘It was when we first got married. Mum and Dad gave us their old lounge suite, but we couldn’t afford a dining table. So we bought this with money Aunty Sal gave us for our wedding, or engagement . . .’

  ‘It was for our wedding, and it was your Aunty Kath on your dad’s side,’ Sam corrected him.

  ‘Whatever, it was the first piece of furniture we ever bought together.’

  ‘You do remember.’

  ‘Of course I do. We ate here every night for the first year or so. You used to set it like a table, with a cloth and everything, and you wouldn’t let me turn on the TV while we ate.’ He paused, smiling faintly. ‘I liked that we kept it all these years.’

  Sam sighed. ‘Well, why didn’t you ask for it when we were dividing up the furniture?’

  ‘I thought you’d want it.’

  ‘I did,’ she hesitated. ‘You could have asked though.’

  He gave a rueful half-laugh. ‘If I wanted to fight, I would have just stayed with you.’

  She thumped him lightly on the arm.

  ‘Sorry.’

  Sam was thoughtful. She had not spoken this honestly with Jeff in a long time. She might as well open the floodgates the rest of the way. ‘Can I ask you something?’ she said tentatively.

  ‘Sure.’

  She took a breath. ‘What was it like for you? Was it hard . . . to leave?’

  She saw the surprise register in his eyes, but he hesitated only for a second.

  ‘It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life,’ he said solemnly. ‘I struggled with it for months. I didn’t want to end the marriage, put the kids through that. Hurt you. I didn’t want to be the bastard going off with another woman and destroying my family.’

  Sam stared at him, her chest tightening.

  ‘But that night, the night I told you, it was the right thing, or the only thing I could do. It was like, one day I didn’t know and the next day I knew for sure.’ He looked at her squarely. ‘I couldn’t lie any more and I couldn’t stay.’

  She swallowed down the lump that had lodged in her throat.

  ‘I know this has been hard on you, Sam. But if it’s any consolation, it’s been the worst year of my life as well.’

  Once upon a time, Sam would have said, ‘Well, you made your bed . . .’ But she didn’t feel like scoring points over him.

  ‘I suppose you had your family’s support at least. Mum blamed it all on me.’

  ‘You think my parents didn’t blame me?’ Jeff said. ‘They were furious with me. My father told me in no uncertain terms to zip up my trousers and go back to my wife and family where I belonged.’

  Sam was shocked. ‘So when you wanted me to invite them over to see the kids –’

  ‘I was just passing the buck. They had a lot more sympathy for you than me. They gave me hell.’ He shook his head, remembering. ‘You know, there must have been a dozen times I thought about coming back, if you would have had me.’

  ‘Really?’

  He nodded. ‘One time, Jodi kicked me out when she found out I’d nearly slept with you –’

  ‘How did she find that out?’

  ‘I told her, of course,’ he shrugged. ‘Anyway, I was staying in a hotel. You weren’t answering my calls and Jodi wasn’t speaking to me. I wondered what the hell I’d done to my life, and everyone else’s.’

  They were quiet for a while. Sam was trying to process all this new information.

  ‘You know you scared the life out of Jodi the other day,’ said Jeff. ‘At the hospital.’

  ‘I scared the life out of everyone in that room,’ Sam returned.

  ‘Yeah, but she’s been terrified of meeting you all along.’ Jeff picked up his cup, but hesitated before drinking from it. ‘She didn’t want to meet the woman I found so hard to leave behind.’

  Sam was gobsmacked. ‘Do you think I wanted to meet the woman my husband replaced me with?’

  ‘I didn’t replace you, Sam,’ he said seriously. ‘You were a good wife, a good mother. You did all the right things. But I didn’t feel part of it. I found myself living a life that didn’t feel like it was mine, I didn’t even recognise myself any more.’

  The tears were stinging behind her eyes. She sniffed.

  ‘When I said I thought the marriage had been over for a long time,’ he continued, ‘I really believed it.’

  ‘I know,’ Sam said in a small voice. ‘You were right. But I would have stayed anyway.’

  ‘I think you deserve much more than that,’ he said quietly.

  The front door burst open and Ellie ran inside. ‘Mummy! Fatema’s dog had puppies, can we have one?’

  ‘Who’s Fatema?’

  Jess came in behind her. ‘You know, she lives two doors up from the Suarezes. You should see how cute the puppies are. Can we have one, Mum?’

  Ellie climbed onto Jeff’s lap. ‘Can we, Daddy?’

  He glanced across at Sam. ‘That is entirely your mother’s call. Don’t bring me into it.’

  ‘She’ll just say no,’ said Jess, stepping across Jeff’s legs, past the coffee table.

  ‘Mind the cups, Jess,’ Sam warned. ‘And why do you think I’ll say no?’

  ‘You mean you won’t?’ she exclaimed, her eyes shining, as she plonked herself on the sofa between her parents.

  Josh appeared in the doorway.

  ‘Hey, Josh,’ Jess called. ‘Mum said we can have one of the pups!’

  ‘Sick!’

  ‘I didn’t say that!’ Sam protested.

  ‘You gotta come and see ’em, Mum,’ he said, planting himself on the coffee table facing the rest of them.

  ‘Careful of the cups, Josh,’ said Jeff.

  The kids started talking excitedly about which pup they would choose. The girls wanted a female but Josh was adamant. He was already outnumbered by females in this house. The dog had to be male. Sam looked around at her family. They hadn’t been together like this since Jeff left, and maybe for some time before that. She realised that perhaps they had reinvented themselves finally, as the family they were now. And it wasn’t second-rate at all.

  Sunday

&n
bsp; ‘Hi Hal? It’s Max here. Maxine Driscoll.’

  ‘Hey Max. Is anything wrong?’ He sounded concerned. ‘Is Sam okay, the kids?’

  ‘Everyone’s fine,’ she assured him. ‘I just have a favour to ask you.’

  ‘Sure.’ Hal paused. ‘What can I do for you, Max?’

  ‘Sam’s car is still up at Palmy. She asked if I could go pick it up, and I thought if you were headed back up there, I’d hitch a ride.’

  Max heard him sigh. ‘She really doesn’t want to see me, does she?’

  ‘It’s not that.’

  ‘Oh, I think it is.’

  ‘Hal, she just doesn’t want to leave Josh right now,’ Max insisted. ‘You know what she’s like.’

  He didn’t say anything.

  ‘Don’t go getting all broody on me, Handsome. I wasn’t the one who dumped you.’

  He laughed then, a sort of feeble half-laugh. ‘Aren’t psychologists supposed to have empathy for other people?’

  ‘Fine, I’ll give you empathy if you give me a lift up to Palm Beach.’

  Hal picked up Max on the street outside her apartment an hour later. He had no plans for the day and he knew he had to go back to the house sometime. It was better not to have to go there alone.

  They made small talk as they travelled through the city to the north side. Eventually Hal cleared his throat.

  ‘How is she?’ he asked, looking at the road ahead.

  ‘Crazy.’ Max paused. ‘Like a fox,’ she added, with a lift of her eyebrows. Hal frowned at her.

  ‘Mad as a meat axe,’ she continued. ‘Nutty as a fruitcake. Around the bend, off with the fairies. As thick as two short planks. A few sandwiches short of a picnic.’

  Max considered Hal’s blank expression. ‘You wanted empathy,’ she shrugged.

  ‘I’m not sure you have a real clear grasp of what the word means.’

  ‘Do too,’ she declared. ‘But in order to feel empathy you have to put yourself in the other person’s shoes, see how it is for them. And as I’ve never been dumped, it’s a bit difficult for me.’

  ‘You’ve never been dumped?’

  ‘That’s right. Not since my father,’ she added wryly. She glanced across at Hal. ‘Maybe this will help. She told me you were the right person at the wrong time.’

  He shook his head doubtfully. ‘If you’re the right person, you’re the right person, wouldn’t you say, Max? There isn’t a wrong time.’

  ‘Like I said, there’s a kangaroo loose in the top paddock, if you get my drift.’ She saw the bemusement on Hal’s face. ‘Obviously not. I mean she’s crazy,’ Max explained. ‘Actually if you want to know the truth, she’s scared. Scared she’ll start counting on you. Scared you’ll go back home. Scared you’ll leave her like all the men in her life have done so far.’

  ‘I wasn’t going to leave her,’ Hal said seriously. ‘I tied up some loose ends while I was back in the States, signed divorce papers, that kind of thing. And I’ve made a business commitment that’s going to keep me here for a while. I wanted to tell her all that, but I didn’t get the chance. She never gave me the chance.’

  Max considered him. ‘You love her, don’t you?’

  He nodded.

  ‘I mean, you really love her,’ she persisted.

  He glanced at her. ‘Yes, I do.’

  ‘Can you tell me why?’

  ‘I’m sorry?’

  ‘I’ve never understood exactly what you saw in her.’

  Hal gave her a look of sheer disbelief.

  ‘Oh,’ said Max. ‘That came out wrong, didn’t it? Of course I adore Sam. I know how wonderful she is. It’s just, well, you’re a very eligible bachelor, Hal, and the reality is –’

  ‘We’re not in the same league?’ he finished for her.

  She smiled, relieved. ‘You understand what I’m getting at.’

  ‘So you’re the one that’s been filling her head with that nonsense.’

  Max looked blankly at him.

  ‘How come you can see how wonderful she is, and you don’t think I can?’ he asked her. ‘We’re not all the shallow bastards you take us for, you know, Max.’

  ‘I’m sorry, Hal,’ she winced. ‘I didn’t mean it like that. How can I make it up to you?’

  He sighed. ‘Talk some sense into your sister.’

  ‘Hmm,’ she mused. ‘Easier said. But, okay, if I’m going in to bat for you, you’re going to have to give me something to work with, some consumptive poet stuff.’

  ‘Excuse me?’

  ‘You know, deeper than the ocean, higher than the highest mountain . . . that kind of thing.’

  He smiled, shaking his head as he pulled up at a red light.

  ‘Hal?’

  ‘I was just thinking about when we first met . . .’

  ‘Who, you and me?’

  ‘No, me and Sam.’

  ‘Oh, good, go on.’

  ‘I told her I wouldn’t dream of sleeping with her. Something like that.’

  Max frowned. ‘This is your best material, Hal?’

  ‘The thing is, the next time I saw her, that was pretty much all I could think about.’ He sighed. ‘I wasn’t looking for anyone, Max. I thought the Wife for Hire thing was ideal. I could have someone show me around, no expectations, no strings attached. And then before I knew it . . .’

  He was gazing off into the distance. A car tooted behind.

  ‘The light’s turned green,’ Max prompted him.

  He took off again. ‘You know, my ex-wife and I were what you’d call the perfect couple. We had everything going for us, and it ended in disaster.’

  ‘I reckon,’ Max nodded.

  Hal frowned at her. ‘You know about that?’

  Max cringed. ‘I swear we had to hold her down and beat it out of her. It was ugly.’

  He shook his head. ‘Nothing’s sacred, is it?’

  ‘Not between women, especially sisters.’

  He breathed out heavily. ‘Anyway Max, you would have said that Lisa and I were in the same league. But I never felt this way about Lisa.’

  Max was watching him. He had that faraway look again, staring fixedly at the road ahead.

  ‘I feel a connection with Sam I’ve never felt before.’ He paused. ‘I’m more myself with her than with anyone I’ve ever known.’

  They were quiet for a while, until eventually Max cleared her throat. ‘Nicely put.’

  He glanced at her. ‘Much good it does me.’

  Max considered him. ‘Have you ever heard the saying “When you love someone, set them free”?’

  ‘Sure I have. I’ve seen it on those cheesy posters, with a sunset and a bird in silhouette in the background.’

  ‘Okay, you’re having a go at me.’

  ‘No, I’m not,’ he cajoled. ‘Well, maybe a little. But go on, what were you saying?’

  ‘Look, I realise it’s a cliché,’ said Max. ‘But it is true. If you really believe you two belong together, then you’re going to have to trust that she’ll come back to you. You just have to give her a chance to miss you.’

  ‘What if she doesn’t?’

  ‘Then like it says on the cheesy poster, she was never yours to begin with.’

  A week later

  Sam peered through the curtains as Liz’s car pulled up outside. The girls had not had a night together for months. In fact it was longer than that for Fiona. But apparently she’d made a commitment to Liz that she would come tonight, and had even accepted her offer of a lift. The kids were with Jeff for the weekend and Sam was due to start her new job next week, so it would probably be their last chance to get together for a while. She went to the front door to greet them.

  ‘Hi Sam!’ exclaimed Rosemary, rushing ahead of the others. Rose was a different woman these days. She had joined a gym and become something of an exercise junkie. In the process, she’d dropped weight, her skin glowed and her eyes sparkled. She’d also bought a new wardrobe and had her hair cut shorter and streaked. But Sam knew it wasn’t just
the exercise and new clothes. Rosemary was doing something for herself for possibly the first time in her life. She exuded confidence. But she had lost none of her sweetness.

  ‘Thanks for inviting us over, it’s so good to see you, you look fantastic, how is Josh?’ she bubbled, without taking a breath.

  ‘Josh is doing fine,’ said Sam. ‘He’s just frustrated he can’t ride his skateboard.’

  Rosemary frowned. ‘Oh? I thought it was his arm that was broken? Why can’t he skate?’

  ‘It is his arm, but Rose, I’m not about to let him on a skateboard with a broken arm.’

  ‘Oh yes, of course, silly me,’ she babbled happily. Still as sweet, just as dumb. ‘Here you go,’ she said, handing Sam a bottle of champagne. ‘To celebrate us all being together again.’

  ‘Hi darl,’ drawled Liz, stooping to kiss her on the cheek. ‘I need to use the loo. I’ve driven all over Sydney rounding up this lot.’

  She dashed up the hall and into the bathroom.

  ‘Hi Sherl,’ said Max, with Fiona coming up behind. ‘I’ll get the drinks going, eh?’ She grabbed the bottle from Sam and went to join Rose in the kitchen, leaving her to face Fiona.

  ‘Hi Sam,’ Fiona said in a small, nervous voice.

  Sam tried to reassure her with a smile. ‘How are you, Fiona?’ She felt no animosity, she never had. It was everyone else who had thought she would have a problem.

  ‘Um, fine, okay, you know,’ Fiona shrugged uncertainly.

  Sam leaned forward to give her a hug. Fiona hesitated before responding, obviously a little taken aback.

  ‘You haven’t seen the place, have you?’

  Fiona shook her head.

  ‘Come on, I’ll show you around. It’ll only take half a minute,’ she joked.

  Fiona stopped Sam at the doorway to her bedroom. ‘You do realise how much respect I have for you, for the way you’ve handled yourself and made a new life for you and the kids.’

  Sam leaned against the doorjamb. ‘Thanks, Fiona.’

  ‘I just . . .’ She hesitated. ‘I’d like to explain my situation –’

  ‘Fiona, you don’t owe me an explanation.’

  ‘But you’re one of my closest friends,’ she insisted. ‘I want you to understand.’