Wife for Hire

by Dianne Blacklock

  Sam was thoughtful. ‘I don’t know if I’m ready to do that.’

  Max crossed her arms. ‘Are you happy right now, Sam?’

  She shrugged. ‘Why wouldn’t I be happy? My kids are doing great, I’m getting along with my ex-husband, I have family who love me, friends, a wonderful job . . .’

  ‘But?’

  ‘There’s no but.’

  ‘There is so a but,’ Max insisted.

  ‘Come on, Max!’ Sam stood up and started to pace around the room. ‘You’re the last person I’d expect to fall for that claptrap. That I need a man to make me happy.’

  ‘I’m not saying that,’ she said calmly. ‘Look at me. I didn’t need a man, I didn’t even particularly want a man. But then I fell in love with Dan. And you know what? I can live without him, I just don’t want to. Why do you think I finally said yes?’

  Sam stopped pacing and looked at her.

  ‘Of course you don’t need a man to make you happy,’ said Max. ‘But I’m not talking about some theoretical man. I’m talking about Hal. He’s a real person, and he loves you and you love him and that’s why, despite all that you have in your life, you still feel empty.’

  Sam stared at her, tears stinging behind her eyes.

  ‘You know what I was thinking about the other day?’ Max asked her.

  She shook her head.

  ‘The reason you never got a dog before. You always said it would make too much mess and ruin the garden and just be one big hassle. But you never thought about how much joy a dog would bring, did you? And now that you have him, would you ever give him up?’

  Sam smiled faintly. ‘You realise you’re comparing Hal to a dog?’

  ‘Try to overlook that, it was the best I could do at short notice,’ Max dismissed. ‘Sam, I just want you to be happy, to be filled up. Not to be living this perfect, orderly, empty existence. Don’t you realise that’s how it was with Jeff all those years?’

  She just stared at Max, biting her lip.

  ‘And think about it, it’s the way Mum’s been all her life.’

  Oh God, Max was right.

  ‘You don’t think I’ve moved on?’ said Sam in a small voice.

  ‘Oh, of course you have, Sherl,’ Max exclaimed. ‘You’re amazing, I’m so proud of you. But I think there’s one more step you have to take.’

  Sam smiled feebly as a tear escaped and trickled down her cheek. Maxine walked over to her sister and put her arms around her, hugging her tight.

  ‘Call him, Sherl. He’s worth it.’ She pulled back to look at her. ‘So are you.’

  Sam sniffed. ‘I’m afraid.’

  Max smiled. ‘We’re all afraid, Sam.’ She took hold of both her hands. ‘Go get some sleep. Have a fabulous launch tomorrow – knock ’em dead. We’ll talk about this later. Count on it.’

  Sam saw her to the door and waited until she drove away in Dan’s car. She closed the door and leaned against it, thinking about Hal. There was barely a night that she didn’t think about him, didn’t yearn for him, didn’t lie in bed imagining his arms around her. She tried so hard not to, but it was like being told not to think of pink elephants.

  But what was she so damned afraid of? She loved Hal so much it had paralysed her. She couldn’t bear to lose him, so she had decided to live without him. What kind of weird, self-defeating logic was that?

  The kind that was taught at the Bernice Driscoll School for Martyrs.

  Well, enough already.

  Sam walked over to the computer and pressed a key to bring up the screen. She sat down and opened the email program and then her work mailbox. The dog started to whine.

  ‘Okay, okay, keep your shirt on,’ she muttered. ‘You’re just going to have to wait your turn, pooch.’

  Museum of Contemporary Art

  Sam stood tapping her feet to the music being piped through the sound system. Brad had given her quite a rundown on the psychology of music and how to choose appropriately for the function, for the response you were hoping from the people who attended. She had understood less than half of what he’d told her, but that was the same as everything else so far. Sam had been on her steepest learning curve ever, but she loved it. It was exciting and exhilarating and frantic and fun. She loved the energy of all the younger staff, but none of them were a match for the indomitable Denise. She had energy to burn, she was loud and smart and incurably upbeat. Sam easily understood why she had the undying devotion of every staff member.

  Her voice drifted into Sam’s ears through her headset. She was humming along with the song that was playing.

  ‘And baby, baby you ring my bell,’ she started to sing, ‘And the next line rhymes with that as well . . .’

  Sam switched her speaker on. ‘Denise!’ she hissed into her mouthpiece.

  ‘What, love?’

  ‘Don’t give up your day job.’

  ‘Is that a crack about my singing?’

  ‘No, I would never criticise my boss.’

  ‘Ha, you’d be the only one then. Hey, check out the talent in this room. I thought all computer geeks were ugly, like that guy, whatsisname? Billy Bob Gates?’

  ‘Are the caterers set up yet?’ asked Sam.

  ‘Everything’s going fine,’ said Denise. ‘Ooh, ooh, major spunk sighting, ten o’clock.’

  Sam spun around. ‘Where?’

  ‘Wrong way! If you’re at six, where’s ten?’

  Sam turned in the opposite direction.

  ‘Wrong again!’ Denise groaned. ‘For a bright girl, you have a shocking sense of direction! Look towards the main door, then to the left.’

  ‘Well why didn’t you just say that?’ Sam turned around and then she saw him. ‘Oh my God!’ she breathed.

  ‘Told you,’ Denise continued. ‘He’s a bit of alright, isn’t he?’

  But Sam wasn’t listening any more. Her heart was beating so fast it pounded in her ears as her legs propelled her in his direction. He turned slightly, gazing around the room until his eyes fell on her. His face broke into a warm smile as Sam’s knees went weak and her stomach turned to jelly. He started to make his way towards her.

  ‘What are you doing, cheeky?’ Denise asked. ‘You’re not just going to walk right up to him?’

  Sam ignored her. She circled around a clump of people, losing sight of him momentarily, and then suddenly he was standing in front of her, large as life.

  ‘Hey Sam, how’re you doing?’

  ‘Hal,’ she said, her voice barely making it out of her throat. Without thinking, she threw her arms around his neck and held him tight, relieved to feel his arms close around her without a moment’s hesitation. Everything came back, the feel of him, the smell of him, the taste of him, all of it. This was nothing like hugging Jeff or Max or anyone else.

  ‘Sam! Don’t accost the clientele!’ Denise trilled in her ear.

  ‘Shut up,’ said Sam.

  ‘Excuse me?’ Hal said, drawing back to look at her.

  ‘Sorry, I wasn’t talking to you,’ she explained, indicating her headset. ‘I’m turning you off.’

  ‘On the contrary,’ he smiled.

  Sam smiled back at him, switching the two-way off and removing her headset. ‘So, fancy meeting you here?’

  ‘Well, you know, it was an odd thing,’ said Hal, guileless. ‘I got this strange series of emails that I think were meant to be an invitation . . . but they were all out of sequence,’ he added.

  She knew that’d get his attention.

  ‘Oh, I’ve heard that’s the fault of the server,’ Sam nodded. ‘Apparently you can’t control the order they send your emails.’

  Hal smiled. ‘Well, whatever, I couldn’t resist,’ he paused, looking at her intently, ‘to come check it out.’

  Sam felt her heart racing. ‘So you’re still there?’ she said, her voice coming out weird. ‘At IGB I mean.’

  ‘Not so much these days.’

  She wondered what he meant by that. There was such a lot she wanted to ask him, to say to him.


  ‘And look at you,’ he said admiringly. ‘This is all very impressive, Sam,’ he added, looking around the room.

  ‘Oh, I don’t know,’ she shrugged. ‘It’s the first event I’ve actually helped co-ordinate.’

  ‘Looks like it’s a success. Congratulations.’

  ‘Thanks.’

  She realised then that he had hold of both her hands, or she had hold of his, she wasn’t sure how it had happened.

  ‘How are the kids?’ he asked.

  ‘They’re good, great.’

  ‘Josh’s arm is healed?’

  ‘Mm,’ she nodded. ‘He got the cast off a few weeks ago. And Ellie started school.’

  She noticed his features soften. ‘Oh really? How’d she go?’

  ‘Like a duck to water.’

  They stood, holding each other’s gaze, holding each other’s hands. All around them was colour and movement and noise, but Sam felt disconnected from it all. There was only Hal, standing there in front of her, with his beautiful eyes, and his gorgeous jaw, and a smile that warmed right through to her heart, making her realise just how much she had missed him.

  ‘Hal!’ she blurted, at precisely the same moment that he said her name. ‘Oh, you go ahead.’

  ‘No, you first.’

  She took a breath. ‘Well, I um, I’ve been thinking about you a lot, Hal.’

  ‘You have?’

  Sam nodded. ‘Thing is,’ she swallowed. ‘Well, the thing is, or should I say “here’s the thing”, like you would say. That’s if you had anything to say. And I don’t know if you do. And I don’t blame you, because you weren’t the one who said those things that night. That was me. And, um, maybe I was wrong, or maybe I was right at the time, but I have moved on . . .’ her voice trailed away. Hal was just watching her, a faint, bemused smile on his lips.

  ‘Sam?’ said Brad, coming up behind her.

  She turned abruptly, dropping Hal’s hands. ‘Oh, Brad, this is a friend of mine, Hal Buchanan. This is Brad Moss.’

  They shook hands. ‘Nice to meet you,’ said Brad. ‘Sorry to interrupt, but I have a message from Denise.’ He looked at Sam. ‘She said to say that you know how she told you that a well-organised function runs itself? Well, she lied.’

  ‘I’ll let you get back to work,’ said Hal.

  ‘See ya,’ Brad said, disappearing again.

  ‘Um, do you have to run off?’ Sam asked, anxious not to leave things unsaid. She had the feeling she hadn’t been making much sense when they were interrupted. Though Hal should be used to that by now.

  Hal smiled. ‘No, I’ll wander round now I’m here.’

  ‘Good,’ she said, repositioning her headset. ‘We’ll talk later, okay?’

  He nodded and Sam turned away, dashing through the crowd, switching on her two-way. ‘Hi Denise?’

  ‘Oh, you’re back on line?’ came her voice through the earphones.

  ‘Sorry about that,’ Sam blurted.

  ‘Don’t apologise, honey, I’d have stopped work for him too. But we’ve hit a few snags.’

  ‘Where are you?’

  For the next two hours Sam was flat out, the entire team was. There were no major disasters, just a whole series of minor ones. From too few waitstaff, to technical hitches, to running out of alcohol because more people had turned up than expected. Sam’s email trick had been a little too successful at getting attention. It had obviously been forwarded willynilly, and a whole lot more people had received what was supposed to be a limited invitation. But the executives from O-Mega were beaming, so Denise was unconcerned, and unflappable as usual. Sam passed Hal a few times as she dashed this way and that through the crowd. She’d catch his eye and smile, and he would smile back. But as the evening wore on, it occurred to her that she hadn’t seen him for a while. And much later, when the crowd was thinning, Sam realised he was no longer there.

  She had a feeling of panic. She suddenly felt lost without him. Empty, alone. She couldn’t just let him walk out of her life again. But maybe he had already. He wasn’t here and he hadn’t even said goodbye. She felt as though she’d been on a fast and had walked into a sumptuous banquet, but hadn’t quite made it to the table before they cleared it all away.

  ‘Congratulations, Sam,’ Denise announced, striding across the almost empty room, waving a bottle of champagne. ‘Come on, let’s celebrate.’

  ‘Should we?’

  ‘Yes, it’s okay, all the guests are gone.’

  ‘No, I mean, should we be celebrating?’ Sam said meekly. ‘There were so many stuff-ups.’

  ‘No more than usual,’ Denise insisted. ‘You expected that nothing would go wrong? Dear oh dear, Sam. Where’s the fun if it all goes smoothly to plan?’ She considered Sam, her eyes narrowing. ‘You’re one of those anally-retentive control freaks, aren’t you? The ones with the immaculate houses and no pile of ironing under the stairs? I bet you even label your videos.’ She didn’t wait for an admission. ‘We’ll soon knock that out of you. Hey, Brad, Sam here doesn’t think we should celebrate.’

  ‘This is Denise’s tradition,’ he explained, coming over to them. ‘She puts on drinks after every function. Don’t mess with the system, Sam. It’s the best thing about working with her.’

  ‘The best thing about working with me, did I hear you say?’ Denise eyed him. ‘I’ve got your number, boyo.’

  Brad found some glasses in one of the caterers’ boxes and Denise opened the bottle and poured the champagne. ‘Well done, good and faithful servants,’ she said, raising her glass. ‘Drink up before the others find us and scoff the rest!’

  They pulled chairs around into a small circle as the other members of the team drifted over.

  ‘Hey Sam,’ said Denise. ‘What happened to Mr Tall, Dark and Heavenly you were talking to?’

  Her heart sank. She didn’t want to have to start answering questions about Hal.

  ‘Oh, the American guy?’ said Brad.

  Sam thought Hal had said barely more than a few words to Brad. ‘How did you know he was American?’

  ‘We had a yarn later,’ Brad explained, reaching into his shirt pocket. ‘He was sorry he had to leave, but he asked me to give you this.’

  He handed Sam a business card. It was printed with raised blue lettering. Just a phone number and a few simple words.

  Sail Away

  Day and overnight charters

  Hal Buchanan

  Saturday

  ‘Where are you going?’ Sam asked Jessica when she walked into the kitchen dressed in her best clothes, full make-up and her hair contorted into a kind of bird’s nest Sam recognised as high teenage fashion. ‘Max will be here soon.’

  ‘I’m going up to the Metro with Fatema. We’re meeting some of the girls from school there.’

  ‘But I have to go out,’ said Sam. ‘Max is coming over to babysit.’

  ‘Mum,’ said Jess, rolling her eyes, ‘I hardly think I need babysitting any more. I’m like, nearly fourteen!’

  ‘Let’s call it supervision then.’

  ‘I told you I was going out, Mum. You’ve been on like, the lost planet of Atlantis or something lately.’

  Sam couldn’t be bothered explaining that Atlantis was not a planet. And besides, Jess had a point in there somewhere. She had been feeling pretty spaced out.

  ‘Well, I suppose it’s alright. But you have to keep in touch with Max and let her know your movements. Take your mobile phone with you.’

  ‘I don’t have a mobile phone,’ Jess replied offhand.

  ‘Yes you do.’

  ‘I used to, like, yonks ago. But Dad took it off me.’

  ‘Oh? Why?’

  ‘Supposedly the bills were too high,’ she remarked airily. ‘He said he’ll think about it again in a couple of years. I thought he would have told you.’

  ‘No,’ Sam murmured. That little gem must have slipped his mind.

  There was a knock at the back door. Jess dashed for it. ‘That’ll be Fatema.’

&nbs
p; Sam was surprised to see Fatema wearing a . . . she wasn’t sure what it was called. Unfortunately, teatowel was all that came to mind.

  ‘Hi, Fatema,’ Sam said. ‘I didn’t realise you wore a . . .’

  ‘It’s called hijab, Mum,’ Jessica informed her.

  ‘Yeah,’ said Fatema. ‘Dad makes me wear it in public. He thinks it keeps the boys away.’ She pulled a face. ‘Unfortunately, he’s right.’

  ‘All the more for me then!’ Jess quipped.

  ‘That’s only if they’re blind,’ said Josh from the living room.

  ‘Shut up!’ said Jess. ‘Did you know Josh is going to see his girlfriend, Mum?’

  ‘Have you got a girlfriend, Josh?’

  ‘No,’ he insisted. ‘Shut your trap, Jess!’

  ‘We’re going,’ said Jess lightly. ‘See ya, Mum.’

  ‘Okay, call Max from a pay phone,’ Sam sang out as they disappeared through the back door.

  ‘Righto!’

  Sam wandered into the hall. Josh was standing in front of the mirror, painstakingly trying to make his hair look like he never combed it at all. She remembered she hadn’t said anything to him about the condom in all this time. It had completely slipped her mind.

  ‘Josh,’ she began tentatively. ‘Do you have a girlfriend?’

  ‘Mu-umm,’ he frowned.

  She sighed. ‘It’s just that, well, there was something I was meaning to talk to you about.’

  He glanced at her warily. ‘You’re not going to have one of those talks with me?’

  ‘Well, kind of . . .’

  ‘Mu-umm,’ he cringed. ‘I don’t have a girlfriend. She’s just a . . . a girl.’

  ‘Hear me out, Josh.’ She took a breath. ‘A few months ago, before Christmas actually . . .’ She’d better just spit it out. ‘The thing is, I found a condom in your pocket.’

  His cheeks stained hot pink. ‘So?’

  ‘Well, it did make me wonder –’

  ‘Mum!’ Josh exclaimed, clearly embarrassed. ‘What did you think, I was gonna use it or something?’

  ‘What were you doing with it?’

  He groaned. ‘We had a class on safe sex in Personal Development and we had to put a condom on a banana.’