Theater Nights Are Murder

by Libby Klein

  I turned. We were midrace and the outcome seemed very important to more than a few people in the room.

  “What! No no no no no! Come on, Fairy Dust! Nooo.” Ernie dropped his head in his hands and I was afraid to speak. He picked up the racing sheet and tore it in pieces. A woman in a purple sweater punched the man next to her in the face and he fell off his barstool.

  “I take it your horse didn’t win.”

  “I wish that was all it was.”

  “Better luck next time.”

  Ernie snorted like I’d said something sarcastic.

  I could see the bikers arguing with the biddies and the hair on my neck started to tingle. I stood up to make a beeline to haul Aunt Ginny and her crew out the door. “One more thing, Ernie. I know that you’ve been at the Queen Victoria for almost a month even though you said that you’d just arrived. Have you been sabotaging the play to make Royce think he’s in danger?”

  Ernie lost his smile again and his little eyes issued a challenge. “Why would I do that?”

  “So he’d drop out. Maybe you’re desperate enough to scare Royce into returning to Broadway. You clearly need the money, so you created a few accidents. I don’t think you were trying to hurt anyone. But things have gotten out of control.”

  “Be careful what you insinuate. Royce is worth nothing to me if he’s hurt. If you’re suggesting that I would put Royce’s life in danger to make a few bucks, I’m going to be mad. I can make people very unhappy when I’m mad. I could start with Royce’s relationship with Mrs. Frankowski. Royce listens to me. All I have to do is tell him to call it off and he will. I don’t think your aunt would be very happy with that, do you?” He stood up, grabbed the half-empty glass of scotch, and casually walked back to the bar.

  I caught up with the biddies at the pool table, where their stack of money had grown. Aunt Ginny jumped when she noticed me staring her down and she tossed her pool stick to the biker next to her. “What? I don’t know how to play pool.”

  “What’s going on here?”

  A biker with a long, red beard and a chain going from his ear to his lip gave me a pleading look. “Are these ladies with you, miss?” I had to crane my neck to look him in the eye. He had the name Mousie embroidered on his denim vest.

  “I’m afraid so.”

  “They just conned us out of two hundred dollars.”

  Mrs. Dodson shrugged. “You knew the terms.”

  A short biker with a face tattoo practically whined, “But you cheated.”

  Mrs. Davis shrugged. “You didn’t say no cheating.”

  A man dressed from head to toe in denim wearing a Breton cap replied, “I didn’t think we had to say it.”

  Mother Gibson giggled. “Well . . .”

  Aunt Ginny picked up the stack of money. “Now you know.”

  She started to push past me and I put my arm up. “Ladies, give the nice bikers their money back.”

  “No, we won it fair and square,” Mrs. Davis said.

  I cocked my head. “Did you?”

  The biker with the red beard chuckled. “They can keep it. But we won’t fall for that is-this-how-you-play-pool line again. You old ladies are sneaky.”

  I mouthed apologies to the bikers and ushered the ladies out to my car. “What happened to the lines of communication? You were supposed to be listening in the car.”

  Aunt Ginny held up her phone. “That app drained my battery. And Edith had to pee.”

  Mrs. Dodson said, “Oh rats. I forgot to do that.”

  Mother Gibson nodded. “And they do like to run a pool table.”

  “Next time I want you to tell me what you’re planning. Don’t just lead me on a wild-goose chase. I nearly fainted when I saw you all come in there. What would I do if something happened to one of you?” I started the car and pulled out of the parking lot. I hoped my silence would shame them for tricking me.

  I thought Aunt Ginny was remorseful for her actions until she said, “Can we stop by CVS on the way home? I actually do need those corn pads.”

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  The ladies were raising havoc in the CVS. I waited in the car so they’d be someone else’s problem for a few minutes. I turned up “We Built This City” on the radio and stretched my neck from side to side to try to relieve some of the tension they had caused. My cell phone dinged: Ciao! I looked at the screen, and Gia was asking me to stop by for a minute. He wanted me to try a new after-hours drink. Every cell in my body cried out “ruse”! But I caught myself grinning and said I’d be there in a couple of minutes.

  The ladies made their way back to the car with the CVS manager carrying several boxes and bags for them. I helped him put their stuff in the trunk and they took their places in the car. “They played the helpless-little-old-ladies card again, I see.”

  The store manager gave me a weak smile and I nodded back and patted him on the shoulder. I climbed in and told the ladies I had to stop by the coffee shop, but I’d only be a minute. They reassured me that it was no inconvenience. I thought they owed me ten minutes even if it was an inconvenience after what the swindlers had done to me.

  I parked in the alley behind La Dolce Vita and went through the back door. Gia heard the bell ring and came back to greet me. “Bella, I missed you today.” He pulled me into a hug and kissed the top of my head.

  “I missed you too. Boy, it has been a day. I can’t stay long. I have Aunt Ginny and the biddies in the car.”

  “I think I’ve come up with the perfect Valentine’s cocktail and I want your opinion.”

  The bell jingled at the front of the shop, signaling a customer had arrived.

  Gia took my hand and led me to the front. Aunt Ginny and the biddies were taking off their coats and setting to roost at two of the tables.

  “What are you guys doing in here? I’m only going to be a minute.”

  Mrs. Davis threw her scarf and gloves on the table next to hers. “We want coffee.”

  Gia’s warm hand rested on my back just under my neck. I could hear the amusement in his voice. “Go sit down. I will bring the cocktail to you.”

  “Cocktails?” Aunt Ginny squealed. “We’re having cocktails?”

  Mother Gibson smiled at the others. “I’ll just have a decaf, please. And some of those pink pastries Poppy keeps complaining about.”

  I blinked a few times, trying to come to terms with what was happening. Gia took the ladies’ orders and I helped him get their desserts from the pastry case. By the time he had made all their coffees, Royce had showed up with Fiona and Iggy in tow.

  Aunt Ginny patted the seat next to her. “Royce! Over here.”

  I gave Aunt Ginny a look. “How did Royce know we were here?”

  She gave me an innocent head bob. “I have no idea.”

  Fiona answered. “Ginny called us from the car.”

  “I was only in here a minute.”

  “I’m a fast talker.”

  “Oh, you’re not telling me something I don’t know.” I put the plate of linzer heart cookies on her table, a plate of macarons in front of the other biddies, and took Royce, Fiona, and Iggy’s coffee orders.

  When I took them over to Gia, he gave me a wink. “We make a good team.”

  “Yeah? What kind of mental health insurance do you offer?”

  “Whatever it is, it’s not enough, cara mia.”

  I felt warmth grow from the center of my chest out to my fingertips. I took the coffees out to Royce and his family with a little more lightness in my step.

  Royce took his cappuccino and gave it an appreciative sniff. “I will have to make this place one of my regular haunts from now on.”

  I gave him a grin. “You should give Gia a couple of pictures of yourself in costume from some of your Shakespearean plays. I bet he’d put them up on the wall.”

  Royce lit up. “I would love that.”

  Aunt Ginny covered his hand with hers. “That’s a wonderful idea, Poppy.”

  I sat at the table across from Roy
ce. “Since I have you here, I was wondering if I could ask you a question, Royce.”

  “Sure, anything for Ginny’s granddaughter.”

  “Niece.”

  He looked at Aunt Ginny in surprise. “She’s your niece?”

  Aunt Ginny flicked up her eyes to me for a second and took a sip of her cocktail. “Yep.”

  “Well, how about that.”

  I nodded and gave him what I hoped was an encouraging smile. “I wanted to ask you about your time in New York on Broadway. Specifically, about working with Blanche.”

  Royce knitted his brows together and stared at his cappuccino foam.

  “Blanche has said that the two of you were a package deal.”

  He looked up again and there was sadness in his eyes. “We were at first. Before I stabbed her in the back.”

  The door opened and the bell jingled. It was Sawyer. “I thought I saw you all in here. At least I saw Aunt Ginny’s red hair. So I closed the bookstore and came over.” She gave me a hug and waved to Gia. He was bringing a tray of sample cocktails over. “What are you all doing here?”

  Mrs. Dodson took a pink drink from the tray. “Having cocktails. Join us.”

  Mrs. Davis giggled. “The more the merrier.”

  Sawyer knew that if all the biddies were in here with me, it wasn’t my idea. She gave me a silly grin and took the cocktail Gia offered her.

  Mother Gibson blew on her decaf. “Royce was just telling us about double-crossing Blanche.”

  “Oh.” Sawyer sat at the table with Fiona and Iggy. She noticed Iggy for the first time. He was making an awkward attempt at a smile. She paused for a beat before recovering and returning his smile. Sawyer had always had a tender heart. She was a late bloomer in high school, so she bypassed the mean girl genes that often came with good looks.

  Gia pulled up a seat next to me and put his arm around the back of my chair.

  Royce took another sip of his cappuccino and continued his story. “Blanche and I had made a promise to each other that we would stick together no matter what. It was a foolish pact we made when we were eighteen.” He quickly looked at Aunt Ginny. “It wasn’t a romantic pact. Strictly professional. We thought we would be able to get each other parts if we made ultimatums to the directors. It was so arrogant of us to think that we were that talented that casting would bow to our demands. There are thousands of actors trying out for a scant handful of roles. One director offered me the role of Gideon in Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. I told him I would only take it if he gave Blanche a part. He laughed in my face and told me never try out for one of his shows again. And there were seven brides to cast. I learned really fast that you can’t dictate anything on Broadway.”

  Fiona tut-tutted. “Blanche was holding you back, dear. You know that. You had plenty of directors tell you that she was no good.”

  Royce sighed. “I tried for a while to honor our agreement, but I couldn’t get any work. No one wanted to cast Blanche. They said she didn’t have ‘it.’ And together, we didn’t have ‘it.’”

  “Having the right partner is a must,” Gia said. His hand was starting to feel very warm on my back and my neck was getting loosey-goosey.

  Royce nodded. “Absolutely. Casting directors said she was lacking in talent and the few roles she did get, she made the wrong kind of name for herself.”

  “How so?” I asked.

  “She was a terror to work with. She’d get a part in the chorus on some off-Broadway production, then make herself a right diva with it. You can’t make demands of the producer when you’re in the chorus. It isn’t done. You can’t even do it when you’re the lead until you’ve got some clout behind you.” Royce stared off into space, apparently lost in memories, or maybe just lost.

  Aunt Ginny gave Royce’s hand a pat. “Is that why she came home after only a couple of years?”

  Royce came back to us. “Who?”

  Aunt Ginny cleared her throat. “Blanche.”

  “She’d been writing letters to some fella and she left New York to be with him. I heard she got married not too long after that. Frankly, I’m surprised she’s been interested in me after the last fight we had. She said I’d ruined her life.”

  Fiona chimed in. “She used to call the house and demand that we give my brother messages from her. My mother couldn’t get her off the phone fast enough. We had to change our number over and over, but she always managed to discover it again.”

  Mother Gibson nodded her head thoughtfully. “If I remember right, she came home and married Vernon Keller right away. No children. He died not too long after. Sad.”

  Iggy spoke up, and Sawyer nearly jumped out of her seat. I think she’d forgotten he was there. “Now she has her eyes set on Uncle Royce.”

  Royce patted his check with his hand. “I never expected to see Blanche when I came home.”

  Aunt Ginny laughed. “Then you’ve forgotten just how small this island is.”

  Fiona sniffed. “Well, that can happen when you’re gone for sixty years. We barely saw you except for a couple of holidays.”

  Royce met Fiona with pleading eyes. “Fee. Actors work on weekends and holidays. It’s very hard to have a family life and keep distant relationships. The only night the theater is dark is Monday.”

  Fiona soured even more. “Well, you could have tried harder. It’s not like I could come to you. I was busy raising Iggy.”

  Mrs. Dodson leaned in to Mrs. Davis. “She’ll be raising Iggy till the days she dies.”

  I was suddenly aware that Gia was rubbing the back of my neck with his thumb. He said, “It must have been hard on you being away from your loved ones for so long. I know how important family is for me.”

  Aunt Ginny tried to kick me under the table.

  Gia said, “Ow.” Then he told Aunt Ginny, “You’re off by a few inches.”

  Aunt Ginny blushed, something that happens about as often as she filters what she says.

  I got up to clear the empty coffee cups and Mrs. Dodson and Mrs. Davis offered to help me. It didn’t take long for the other shoe to drop. They cornered me as soon as we got in the kitchen. “You know, if Royce has a fortune, when he dies it would go to Fiona and Iggy.”

  “I think I heard that he’s leaving it to a community theater charity.”

  “Pshh.” Mrs. Dodson tapped her cane. “A family member could contest that if it came to it. And he’s not dead yet. There’s still time to convince him that family should come first.”

  Mrs. Davis leaned in even closer in case she could be heard in the other room. “Maybe that’s why Fiona keeps reminding Royce that he’s been gone. To get him to see that he owes her.”

  “Maybe,” I said, “but Fiona claims to be very well-off financially. I’m not sure she has a secret plan to get Royce’s estate. Do we even know if Royce has an estate? Maybe he spent all his money on fancy living in New York.”

  Mrs. Dodson shook her head slowly. “No, I don’t think Fiona is doing as well as she claims to be. For one thing, Iggy keeps trying to discourage her from spending money. Did you see how he wouldn’t let her order the large cappuccino? And whenever we’re together, he tries to get her to split a sandwich with him instead of ordering her own.”

  “Maybe he’s looking after her health.”

  Mrs. Davis patted my arm. “Maybe he’s trying to make sure that inheritance is there for him one day. We need to find out.”

  “We need to mind our own business.”

  The ladies ignored me and strolled back to the dining room. As soon as Mrs. Dodson sat down, she said, “Fiona, I’ve heard so much about your lovely home and your expertise with entertaining. What a wonderful gift to have. Oh, I have a fun idea.”

  Oh no.

  Fiona raised her painted-on eyebrows.

  Mrs. Dodson took that as encouragement to continue. “You should have an afternoon tea to celebrate Royce’s return to the shore.”

  Fiona didn’t look too sure of that idea, so Mrs. Davis jumped in to help. “I be
t you have some exquisite china, don’t you? You always go on about the lovely things your late husband bought for you.”

  Iggy shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “I don’t think now is a good time for that.”

  “I do.” Fiona blushed. “I have the most beautiful set of Royal Albert Yellow Roses.”

  Aunt Ginny looked from Mrs. Davis to Mrs. Dodson and somehow figured out what they were up to. “And that way we can hear more about the impressive Iggy too.”

  Fiona sat up straighter and a grin slowly creaked its way across her face. “That would be a wonderful idea. We should do it right after the play is finished.”

  “Nonsense,” Mother Gibson said. “Honey, we’re old. We might not have that long. Let’s do it tomorrow. I’ll bring the cucumber sandwiches.”

  Et tu, Mother Gibson?

  Mother Gibson returned my side-eye with a side-eye of her own. “Poppy will bring some of these pink cookies.”

  Mrs. Davis and Mrs. Dodson were pleased as punch to have outsmarted Fiona and circumvented me. I could see them plotting something terrifying as they finished their pastries.

  Later, Gia and I did the dishes while the biddies finalized plans for their tea party. I filled Gia in on recent discoveries and told him how this tea party was a ruse to snoop around Fiona’s house and try to get information about Royce’s estate and Fiona’s wealth.

  He was no help at all because he found it hilarious that I was being handled by four senior citizens and they had me backed into a corner.

  Sawyer said good night and Royce left with Fiona and Iggy. The biddies went to wait in the car to give me a chance to say good night to Gia. Aunt Ginny said she was timing me and I had five minutes.

  Gia gave me a lovely kiss that I was supposed to block. I was so flustered that when I picked up my purse, it tipped over and my old-lady shake fell out. I considered kicking it under the refrigerator before Gia could see it, but he was too quick. He picked it up and handed it to me.